Authors: Nancy Hopper
Tim continued to watch her closely. "Why did you stop?"
Tasha shrugged. "It's a long story, not one I enjoy telling. Suffice it to say that it was just a phase in my life that ended some time ago."
Tim raised an eyebrow, but held his tongue. The Lord God Almighty was never just "...a phase in someone's life". But he could well imagine that she didn't want to discuss it with him. He could see 'prodigal' written all over her. He smiled out the window, and shook his head. If she ever once just cracked open enough, it would be all over. And the fire they’d experienced that evening had cleared out most of the barriers. Tim could feel it.
She pulled into her garage and shut the door behind them. They were quiet as they went up the stairs.
"Want to ski tomorrow, or take the day off?" she asked with a yawn.
"Doesn't matter to me. A day off would be all right." He suggested, noticing the circles under her eyes.
"I'd really like to spend some time with my kids. They aren't used to my being gone so much." She explained worriedly.
"I understand. Do it." He agreed tiredly.
Tasha asked him if he wanted something to eat, but he shook his head. He asked only for a big glass of ice water, and once he had it in hand, he followed Tasha up the stairs.
"Is there anything else you need?" she asked, eying Tim a little worriedly. He looked rather weary and discouraged.
"No, thanks. I'll be fine." He denied tiredly.
"Sleep as long as you want to, Tim." She urged, with a tender, concerned look in her eyes, and a hand on his arm.
He smiled at her wearily. "Thanks. I will." He promised.
Tasha watched him close the guest room door behind him quizzically. He was a very unique and interesting man.
Tim slept until an embarrassing hour the following day. He'd had no idea just how tired he was getting to be. He got up, showered, put on some jeans and a sweater, and went downstairs.
"Mr. Timothy! Hello, how are you? I did not know you had come to stay the night." Lucinda greeted him cheerfully.
"Hey, Lucy." He teased her with a lazy grin. "Yep, I keep turning up just like a bad penny, don't I?"
"There must be a reason. I think Miss Tasha is very taken with you, my friend." She teased him lightly.
Tim chuckled. "Oh, I think not, Lucy. Don't you go getting ideas, now. She's just being kind to a traveling man. My job takes me all over the world, and I work real hard. I wouldn't be much good to a woman, I fear."
Lucinda snorted, with the intention of totally discrediting those words.
"I suppose I'm too late for lunch today, huh?" he yawned.
"Not at all. I have soup and salad and a very nice quiche, Mr. Tim."
"Awesome. Bring it on." He chuckled. "I suppose Miss Tasha is long gone."
"No. Actually, I've not seen her today. It's not like her to sleep so late. The children are missing her."
"I am sure they are." He admitted thoughtfully. "We skied very hard yesterday. I'm sure she's just a bit overdone. I didn't realize I was so thrashed, myself." He explained.
Tasha came in just then, wearing jeans and a clingy, low-cut cashmere sweater in the softest pink. With her hair swinging over one eye and her feet bare, she looked young, and fresh. And sexy.
"'Morning." She yawned sleepily.
"Good after
noon
, Miss Tasha." Lucinda corrected gently. "I was just about to feed Mr. Timothy. Will you eat?"
"Just a little soup or something." She advised. She turned her sleepy eyes on Tim. "How long ago did you drag out?" she asked sweetly.
He grinned at her. "Just a couple of minutes ahead of you."
She sat next to him at the table, and Tim found himself looking at her lustrous, wavy hair spilling over her breasts and down her back. He studied with awe her clear, green eyes, the roses in her cheeks, the soft curve of her lips.
As she walked to the coffee pot, he found his eyes watching her move, her curves and very tiny waist. As she returned with a steaming cup of coffee, he couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from her sweet curves. She had a beautiful cleavage that the sweater didn't much leave to his imagination.
He looked at his cup of tea, acutely embarrassed and more than a little shaken. This wasn't like him, at all! He never, ever ogled women or thought about their bodies. It wasn't safe, and it wasn't acceptable.
He closed his eyes and repented fervently before the Lord for his slip into human male weakness, yet he couldn't shake his awareness of her. It remained steadfastly in focus, when he opened his eyes. It had come suddenly and acutely, and it was apparently not easily going to be dismissed.
"So, what would you like to do this afternoon?" Tasha asked congenially.
Tim forced himself to look up into her clear, green eyes. "You don't need to entertain me, Tasha. I think maybe I'll just read and pray. I know you need to spend time with your kids. You go ahead, and don't worry about me."
Tasha looked at him pensively. "Are you certain? We could do something that the kids would enjoy, something to include them." She offered gently.
The sweet kindness and pure innocence shining in her eyes, stabbed at Timothy. He felt a strange tenderness and longing for her rise up in his heart. He felt like simply shouting at her to stop being so darn nice to him, but of course that made no sense, either.
As he looked at her, he saw again with great depth her beauty, her strength and yet, her fragility. Her eyes were examining him worriedly. He knew that he was behaving out of character.
Desire for her flooded him. Sexual desire, yes; but even greater, loomed a deep desire for intimacy with her. He wanted her heart. Tim closed his eyes, staggering under the assault of these strange, new feelings. He could not believe what was happening to him!
Certainly he'd felt intrigued by her, since they'd met; he'd always found her lovely and sweet. That first night, he'd certainly wanted to kiss her. But this! This was more than he could deal with, it was a very different thing. It was overwhelming, absolutely staggering.
He realized he was staring at her again, and lowered his eyes. "No. Really, Tasha, I need some time alone. Don't give it a thought." He answered in a monotone.
"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked worriedly, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Tim stiffened against the touch. "Very sure." He said tightly.
"All right." She agreed hesitantly. She was certain that Tim was not all right, but there was nothing she could do. He obviously wasn't going to confide in her, right now.
Lucinda put lunch in front of them, and Tim was certain that he would simply die. It was torture, sitting there so close to her. He was almost physically sick. His eyes were continually drawn to her loveliness. He wished he could look anywhere else, but he was simply consumed with this sudden, deep awareness of her.
He began asking the Lord what on earth to do about it; and slowly, comprehension began to come. What had happened was incredible!
As Tasha had given in the previous night to the call and the fire of the Lord; as she had come to accept the inevitability of His will; she had softened dramatically toward Tim. She'd realized the tough spot he was in, and she had felt compassion for him. She'd also truly accepted him, as her friend.
It had done the impossible to Tim. He had been reaching out to her so hard and fast, that when she opened up like a flower, he hadn't been able to pull back hard and fast enough. He'd been caught too close to her. His deepest heart had opened to her in a very dangerous way -- as a woman. She had simply grabbed hold of his heart, and she didn't even know it.
"Dear God, can this really be me?" he asked, a thousand times during that meal. He was amazed and terrified that he couldn't control himself, couldn't stop his eyes from devouring her, couldn't shut off the longing he felt for her.
He constantly tried to remind himself that he didn't need or want a woman in his life. And she
really
didn't want him. She'd made that very clear. The questions and feelings kept battering at Timothy until he felt he'd simply go mad.
He had to stop himself from laughing derisively, as he realized that the fire that the Lord had showered on them the previous evening had destroyed all defenses – both his, and hers. They were both totally helpless in the aftermath.
He felt a soft chuckle in the spirit, and realized that the Lord was immensely enjoying watching them both tumble. Neither of them really knew what to do. He closed his eyes, and tried desperately to get a grip on himself.
At last, Tasha finished her soup and excused herself. She smiled at Tim – a perplexed, heart-rending little smile -- and said she'd see him at dinner. All he could do was nod, and watch her walk away.
"Mr. Timothy; you feel okay?" Lucinda asked worriedly.
He raised an eyebrow. "Not great, actually." Tim admitted. "Maybe I'll lay down again, and see if this day will somehow pass less miserably. Thanks for lunch, Lucy. I'm sorry I didn't do it any justice."
"Sure, Mr. Tim. That's quite all right; you go ahead. Maybe rest is just what you need." She responded gently.
Tim dragged up the stairs, and dropped onto the bed with a groan of anguish. He dropped his head in his hands, and let tears of anger and frustration fall out of his eyes.
"Lord, what is happening to me? I can't possibly fall in love with that prickly, headstrong, rich woman! I don't need any romantic entanglements, and especially not with her!
"How can I minister to her when the time comes, if all I can think about is putting her on her back and -- oh, boy. Gotta keep my mind off
that
track”. He chastised himself. "How can this be? It wasn't here yesterday."
"Would it be so bad to fall in love? It happens to people all the time, you know." He felt the Lord ask.
Tim just gave a harsh laugh. "At this point, I think I'd rather die." He replied readily.
He stayed there, staring at the ceiling. Before he knew it was happening, he was sound asleep.
When Tasha woke him up at five-thirty, he was astonished that he'd slept the entire afternoon away. She had to do some vigorous shaking, at that.
Then, when he looked up into her worried eyes, he had to close his own eyes again in abject misery.
"It's time for dinner, Tim. Are you going to be all right?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." He assured. But when he joined them at the table, he looked extremely tired and strained. He gave Tasha a distant smile, spoke to each of the children by name, and gave Lucinda a half-hearted compliment on the dinner. Other than that, he was abnormally quiet and distant.
"It's time we should be leaving." Tasha offered quietly at the end of the meal.
Tim nodded, barely looking at her. "Yeah. I'm ready." He answered. "Lucinda, thank you."
"My pleasure, Mr. Tim." She assured him. She noted that yet again, he had not eaten well at all. When Tim went upstairs, Lucinda got a hand on Tasha's arm.
"You bring him back here tonight, Miss Tasha. He is not well. He slept all day and he has eaten nothing. He concerns me very much. You get him here so I can take care of him! I will make chicken soup."
Tasha patted Lucinda's arm tenderly. "All right, Lucinda. I'll try." She promised. She changed into some trouser jeans, an apple green top with layers of horizontal ruffles, under a black leather blazer. She smiled as she selected some elegant black Western boots. She added chunky agate jewelry and smoothed out her long, dark hair. Then, she went to find Tim.