Authors: Nancy Hopper
"Today, I was absolutely reeling because I suddenly realized I'd fallen totally head over heels in love with you, and I couldn't understand it. I didn't even want it! It didn't make sense. But, I was staggering with feelings I couldn't control. It took the Holy Spirit some working over to get me to understand any of it, much less accept it. Honey, it's too late. You're stuck with me."
She moistened her lips with her tongue, and clenched her hands together. “Tim, I just have to go. Please, don’t say anything more. And just please forget that this ever happened.
Please!
I loved my husband, I don’t ever want anyone else. When he died, that part of me died.”
He shook his head, misery mirrored in his eyes, from hers. “I can see that you loved him. I won’t ever try to take his place, or to minimize the relationship you had with him. But baby, life goes on.
"You weren’t meant to spend it alone, and I guess I wasn’t, either. I never once in my life wanted to get married until tonight. But suddenly, I do want to. Because I know it’s right. I know it’s blessed. And I know I can’t run away from it. Neither can you.”
"Think it over, Tasha. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow. But don’t push me away, either. There’s no happiness to be gained in doing that. Just let me spend some time with you this week while I’m here, and we’ll talk about this again -- just once -- before I go. No pressure. Okay?”
She stared up at him warily. “We’ll see.” she said with a warning in her voice.
He smiled down at her with those burning lights in his eyes, and suddenly she was simply mesmerized. She stared up at him with her lips parted expectantly. She was panicking inside, because she knew that she was asking him to kiss her again. The invitation was obvious. She swayed into his body, and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe what she was doing! But, she just couldn't seem to control herself.
He watched her with worry; and yet, he could see that all her defenses were crumbling. She was begging for him to move in and take control, despite the protest on her lips. He smiled and shook his head. He would do so, with pleasure. He chuckled, despite his better judgment.
He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her again, for all he was worth. He wrapped his arms around her, and held her against him. He stroked her hair, and whispered in her ear.
“
Dear God. I love you, Tasha. I love you, so much. This is the real deal, sweetheart. I want to marry you. I want to love you and hold you, and be with you for the rest of my life. Give me a chance. At least … think about it.” her persuaded softly.
He kissed her again. He pushed until she couldn’t take any more. He told her that he wanted her, that he’d wait. He had her panting with desire. She was on fire. She was helpless in his arms.
“
Tasha, say yes.” he begged in a whisper.
She was jolted back to reality by the plea. Her eyes flew open. “No. Tim,
no
.” she objected.
He sighed and watched her compassionately. “Okay. I understand.” he whispered. “But I’ll be waiting.”
She jumped into her car and locked the door behind her. When she looked up again, he was already walking away.
CHAPTER TEN
Lucinda was waiting when Tasha got home. She looked crushed that Tim wasn’t with her.
Tasha just smiled tightly. “Hello, Lucinda. No, he couldn’t come tonight. But don’t worry. He doesn’t need chicken soup. Really.” She assured the bewildered housekeeper on her way by. She went straight up to her room, and didn’t come out again.
Tasha didn’t want to ski the next day. But she was so restless, she couldn’t stay in. She put on a different outfit than the one she usually wore, and did her best to be unobtrusive. By lunch time, she’d begun to relax and enjoy her day. She decided to make one last run, and then go in for something to eat.
After lunch, she skied up to the nearest lift, and got in line. There was almost no one waiting. As the gate swung open for her to enter the loading area, she heard the swish of skis and someone came alongside.
“
Can I ride up with you?” a man asked quietly.
“
Sure.” she agreed lightly. Then, she felt his presence as the quad chair scooped them up -- and she found herself staring up at Tim Rain. She took off her sunglasses and gave him a peeved look.
Feeling her staring at him, he looked over at her. She could have sworn he grew a mite pale.
“
Oh, boy. I don’t suppose you’ll believe that I didn’t know it was you?” he asked with a sigh.
“
I can see that. How are you?” she asked politely.
He looked away and shook his head. “Lost.” he answered shortly. “I can’t really understand anything that happened last night. Tasha, I know it was absolutely crazy for you, and I know I owe you an apology.”
“
Accepted.” she said skeptically.
“
I’d explain it, but I don’t understand it. I’ve never kissed anyone I was ministering to. I’ve never ... it’s not ... I just don’t do things like that. I don’t know what happened, I just felt like I had to. I can’t explain it. Yesterday was the worst, best day of my life. Nothing made sense, except ... you. For once, you made all kinds of sense.” He gave her a stormy, tormented look. “But Tasha – it was God. I’d bet my life on it.”
She stared quizzically up at him. He really seemed upset. He looked awfully handsome in the bright sunlight. The sun was bouncing in rainbows off his jet black hair more brightly than it did his mirrored glasses.
She decided she'd rather not hear it. “Where are your friends today?”
He sighed harshly. “Ruben decided to sleep, and Kenny’s busy with conference business.”
She could feel the heaviness of his heart. He really didn’t know what to do, and he was genuinely, deeply upset. She smiled at him.
“
Tim, listen. It’s not such a big deal. Why don’t we forget that you did something you shouldn’t have done, and let’s just be friends? Let it go, so you can relax and enjoy your day. But please, let’s not talk about getting married, all right?”
He looked at her tensely. “You’re not mad?”
She smiled and shrugged. “No harm done, really. But do it again, and I’ll deck you.”
He laughed. He looked out at the slope below them. “Can’t promise that, lady.” he admitted. “Whatever it was that made me do it, is still going strong. But I caution you; it ain’t me, so be careful.”
“
So, you still say God made you do it, huh?”
Tim shrugged. “I haven’t missed hearing His voice for a long time.”
“
Then perhaps you were due.” she suggested dryly.
Tim chuckled. “Maybe.” he admitted dubiously. “Can I hang out with you this afternoon, for awhile? I hate skiing alone.” he admitted.
She watched him pensively. “You travel a lot, Tim?”
“
Yeah, about two-thirds of the year.”
She could see that he was lonely. “Sure. We can ski together.” she agreed, knowing in her heart that it was dangerous.
But, it was also delightful. He was an absolute gentleman, and when Tasha let go and relaxed, she realized that she had not had so much fun in as long as she could remember. Tim kept her in absolute stitches, and the stories he had to tell were fascinating. He’d been all over the world, and he shared his remarkable adventures with her in a way that kept her spellbound.
Tasha found herself amazed at the things he was saying. If he was telling the truth, he’d witnessed God move with miracles unspeakable, since he’d been about twenty years old. Tim's conversation made her feel that she knew him intimately now; he was such a tender-hearted man, who loved people with all that was in him. He gave himself so freely … she gained a very clear picture of his selfless desire to meet peoples' needs in every possible way he could.
“
But, I sense change coming fast. I don’t know just what, but I keep waiting for something to happen.”
“
Sometimes it comes too fast.” Tasha answered lightly.
Tim looked at her, but she was staring at her hands. “Let me buy you something to drink,” he suggested, “and then if I’m smart, I’ll catch at least a quick nap.”
Tasha found herself saying something she’d sworn she’d never say again. “Why don’t you come over to the house? You can have your drink, use the whirlpool, take a nap and a shower, and have something to eat. You’ll be able to sleep longer, that way. And Lucinda will be able to convince herself you're all right, now.”
She began to know why her heart was moved with compassion for him, when he looked at her.
“
Really?” he asked hesitantly.
“
Really.” she chided him teasingly. “It will make Lucinda’s night. She wasn’t terribly happy with me for coming home without you. I’m afraid she’s taken a mother hen’s fancy to you.”
“
It’s not very often that people are so kind.” he said flatly. “And those that try to get close to me, too often really want to pump me for a word, or drag all their friends in to gawk at me until I feel like a side show spectacle. It’s wonderful to have someone be truly hospitable. Especially you, Tasha. Especially now. I appreciate it very much.” His voice was husky with emotion.
Tasha felt a lump rise in her throat, but she knew better than to try to give it voice. She only knew she was glad she’d asked him to her home, again.
Tim stopped by his room so he could get everything that he needed to be ready for the evening. Tasha got her car, and waited for him outside the Cedars. He came down with a slight frown on his face.
“
What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.
“
I don’t know.” he sighed. “I can’t put my finger on it. I just feel uneasy. It’s probably nothing. I feel … something coming. News, or understanding. I don’t know. I just know it’s coming.”
They went to the Charles home, and as Tasha anticipated, Lucinda was beside herself with joy when Timothy Rain walked through her door.
”
Mr. Tim! You come and grace us again with your presence! How
wonderful
! Thank you.”
“
The pleasure is all mine, Lucinda.” he assured her with a big grin.
Tasha averted her eyes from his bright, even smile, and started toward the stairs. “Come with me, I’ll show you where the whirlpool is.” she offered brusquely.
As Tim followed her up the stairs, she imagined him catching up to her, pulling her back into his arms and making love to her with his lips, his hands. It was half with fear and trepidation, yet with a sense of excitement that she waited for it to happen. But Tim was a perfect gentleman.
“
You can use the guest room again.” she said, moving quickly away from him. “There’s a bath and um ... then when you want to use the hot tub, you’ll have to come through my room. Just tap first, please, to be sure I'm not here.” she advised, and opened the door to her lovely suite. She went to the French doors, and showed him the tub situated on a deck outside.
“
Aren’t you going to join me?” he asked quietly.
She tensed. “Well, possibly. It depends on the children.” she hedged.
He smiled. “All right. Thanks.” He turned and left her room without any delay.
He sensed that she was very curious about him today. Very open, and very vulnerable. It was time for him to back off, and let her look; watch him at her own distance.
But, it was interesting that she would have him use the tub outside her room. He knew that there was another one downstairs.
He showered and put on his trunks thoughtfully. With a towel draped around his neck, he went across the hall and tapped on her door. No one answered, so he gently pushed the door open and went in.