could benefit from therapy now also, yet the family is progressing in its own style.
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To help yourself and your children deal with their feelings, please refer back to the chapter on loss as well as the chapter on anger. Grief and anger are probably the two strongest feelings children feel after a divorce. You may need to spend some time reflecting on how your kids may be feeling about your divorce and how it may be compounding the usual feelings of adolescence.
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Decrease the Tension Between You and Your Former Spouse
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When I was little, I walked around outside with a salt shaker, testing out the theory that if you shake salt on a bird's tail, you'll catch it. When I first heard the idea of "Decreasing tension with your ex-spouse," it sounded a lot like shaking salt on the bird's tail. I laughed to myself and thought angrily, "This is what I call creative problem-solving. Nobody could get along with my psychotic ex-husband."
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If you believe that you ex-spouse is a psychotic, a lunatic, a basket case, you may assume that I believe you absolutely. You wouldn't have gotten divorced if he or she were easy to get along with. You can't change the other person, but what can you do? How about some creative problem-solving. Take a few minutes now and list some things you
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