be money between her dad and me. It is dangerous for me to deal with him. Although this decision has made my life more difficult financially, it is safer. I have my life.
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I've done enough work on this now that I can state my feelings and opinion to Rachel without blaming her father. I can comment on the reality of the situation. When she worries about college, I say, "Well, the therapist told him he was stingy because he was a doctor driving a Pinto, but maybe he'll come through with some money for you."
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After a divorce, the lives of both parents change drastically. Commonly, fathers have a terrible time with their feelings of loneliness and abandonment and women have a terrible time economically. In the first year after divorce in the United States, the income of men goes up 43 percent and the income of women goes down 73 percent. 3
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You might pause for a moment and list the consequences of divorce that have been the most difficult for you to accept. Loneliness? Stress? Anger? What things have happened that have surprised you? Perhaps your ex-spouse moved to another state unexpectedly. Perhaps your kids don't want to come and stay at your apartment
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