A Woman Gone Mad (4 page)

After he walks away from the building and behind one of the T-buildings, he sets me back on my feet. Half a second later, his body swallows mine whole.

He kisses me from my mouth to my ear then runs kisses and licks down my neck to my shoulders; my entire body is immediately ignited with something I have never felt before in all of my life.

His leg moves so that his thigh is between mine. He starts rocking it against me and I swear to God my body is going to fly apart. I can’t even think straight. I feel myself melt into him and I know in that second I would hand over my heart, life… I would hand him my world if he asked for it.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear Lilly sigh, “
I love him, don’t you, Lil? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back anymore. He would never hurt you. He loves you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

I grab Michael by his hair and push back against him. I want to climb inside him. I want this to never, ever end. I kiss him with everything I have. I am a total novice at this kissing thing—especially the open-mouth-and-with-tongue-kissing thing, but I don’t give a damn. I kiss him like I’ve been kissing him for years, I kiss him until we both have to pull away and catch our breath.

“Fuck, Lil. Damn you taste so good.” Pulling me up into a hug until my toes are no longer touching the ground, I feel his face in my hair and hear him breathe in deep as his arms tighten.

“Yeah.” I clear my throat so I can finish. “That was, ah… That was something. Can we just skip the dance next time and hang out behind the T-buildings?” I bite his earlobe and suck it into my mouth, feeling him shudder against me as he puts me back on my feet.

Ah ha! I drive you just as crazy as you drive me!
I smile, looking up at him from under my eyelashes.

“I think I can arrange that for you.” Chuckling, he picks me up again and spins us around. “If I can even get half a taste of my Lil like I got tonight, baby, you can bet your sweet little ass I’ll be more than happy to arrange that for you.” He sets me back down to earth and grabs my hand. We start making our way to the front of the school.

As soon as we round the corner, the car line comes into view. Cars are lined up as far as the eye can see. Headlights light up the front of the school.

All good things must end, but dammit, I wish they didn’t.

Michael kisses the top of my head as his arms come around my waist from behind me. Against my hair, he whispers, “Baby, there’s your mom’s car.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and walks me to the car. After he opens the door for me, I slide into the backseat and Michael leans in and says to Mom, “Hey, Ms. Katie, you sure look lovely this evening. You and Mr. David get a nice break from Lil here?”

My mom laughs. “You can try and sweet talk me all you want, son. I won’t buy into your charms though. And, Mr. Cage, don’t think I’ve let it go unnoticed that we haven’t had the what-are-your-intentions-with-my-daughter talk either. It’s coming, kid. You can mark my words.”

“Ah, darn. I was sure I was off the hook. Any way we can set up a date for that interrogation—I mean talk—for during the Thanksgiving break? I wanna take Lil to see that new movie everyone’s been talking about.”

“Thanksgiving break then. Our house. I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner and David will be in the living room cleaning his guns with a glare on his face. You’ll get to have a lovely talk with him before you’re allowed alone, even if it is in public, with our daughter.”

“Awesome,” he grins. “Then it’s a date, Ms. Katie.” Michael winks at me. “Call me when ya get home, Lil.”

Over the fall and winter months, our relationship grew very serious, very quickly. Michael and I are officially the
it
couple. I guess looking back now I can say for certain that I became popular. I was new to the status and was very uncertain how to handle it. So instead of thinking about it at all, I just threw myself into my relationship with Michael.

If we aren’t at school, we are talking on the phone. I eagerly allow him to consume my heart and my life. I am in love, and for the first time in my small existence, my love is wholly reciprocated.

There isn’t a day that goes by that Michael didn’t make me feel cherished. He’s placed me on a pedestal and he shows me love like I have never seen before. He makes my heart swell with happiness. He makes my body burn for things I don’t understand, but God do I want it any way. And he is as consumed by me as I am him.

During Christmas break, my parents let me invite a lot of friends over and have a Christmas party that has the whole school talking. At the party, he pulls me aside and gives me a small gift obviously wrapped by him. He kneels down in front of me on both knees and wraps his arms around my waist, looking up so his chin is resting on my belly.

His hazel eyes sparkle, reflecting the Christmas lights. “Lillian, I’ve never had to buy a gift for the girl I love, so I hope you like it, baby.”

“What’d you just say, Michael?” I don’t move my eyes from his.

“I said I hope you like it.” He glances down and I see a blush creep to his cheeks.

I’m grinning. “No, before that.”

“You’re not gonna let me slide, are you?”

“No, I want to hear you say it,” I whisper to him through the dark night.

“Lillian Shaw, I love you. I’m madly in love with you and you know it. Hell, you’ve known it. Probably before I even admitted it to myself, you knew it.”

“I knew. I’ve known. I love you too, baby.” Kneeling in front of him and sliding my arms around his warm neck, I kiss him until I see stars.

I will love you all of my life, Michael Cage. All my life. Please love me just as long,
I silently pray while his hands and his lips warm me from the inside out.

Pulling back, he smiles. “Open it, baby.” I peel off the wrappings and find a felt box. Glancing up at him with the biggest smile I have ever smiled, I open the box. Nestled inside is the prettiest emerald and diamond ring I have ever seen.

The stones are not big. The ring isn’t flashy. But it’s the fact that one, it fits my ring finger perfectly; two, he remembered my birthstone; and three, I will treasure it forever because Michael picked it out with me in mind.

My eyes tear up, and when I look up at him, they fall, cascading down my face. “Michael, I love it. It’s perfect, baby. Perfect.” I lean into him, kissing his lips. “Thank you so much.”

He holds my face, brushing away my tears, then opens his mouth against mine. I shudder as his tongue slides in. After he tentatively gains access, he deepens the kiss, and I moan into his mouth. My eyes roll back into my head behind closed eyelids.

On New Year’s Eve, I am at Michael’s house. His parents are throwing a party and I am having the time of my life. Mom and Dad are letting me stay until after midnight so that I can ring in the New Year with Michael.

We are in his room—all the adults are outside with their own party in full swing. When the countdown begins, Michael picks me up and lays me down on his bed. He settles on top of me, bracing himself up on his elbows, kissing me between each number as he counts down the New Year. At midnight, his kisses deepen and I start to move, wrapping my legs around his waist from underneath him, running my hands up under the back of his shirt. I’m trying to touch him anywhere and everywhere all at once. Groaning, he sits up on the floor, pulling me with him until I’m at the edge of the bed and he is kneeling between my knees.

“You’re trying to kill me, Lil, aren’t you? Shit, come on,” he says, standing up and pulling me to my feet while I pout and try to wrestle him back onto the bed. “Baby, if we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to, do you understand me?”

“Okay. You’re right… Sorry. I…” I feel the heat of my blush spread across my chest and face. “I think I need to go to the restroom and try to make myself look like I haven’t been making out with my boyfriend.” I giggle and have to pull myself away to walk out of his room.

In the bathroom, I splash water on my face and try to calm myself down. I see my reflection in the mirror and smile. My blue eyes are so dark they’re navy, my cheeks are flushed, and my lips swollen from Michael’s kisses. I run my fingers through my thick blond hair. And I giggle again to myself in excitement as I leave the bathroom.

I pass by Michael’s room and see that he isn’t there; I walk around the house but can’t find him, so I make my way outside. Still unable to find him, I begin to ask the adults if they’ve seen him. His dad says that he saw him walking down the street and he points in the direction.

I’m huddled deep into my jacket, trying to block the biting cold wind that keeps taking my breath away. When I see a group of teenagers, I spot Michael among them. Walking up to them, I catch his eye and smile, but I don’t get a smile in return.

Dread creeps in but I push it away as I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. Then I feel his body go rigid against mine causing my self-confidence to slip.

“Hey. You. You ran off and left me,” I say under my breath, low enough for only him to hear.

“Yeah, sorry. Figured your mom and dad would be here to get you.” He makes no move to hold me in return and keeps his body tense.

“Oh and what? You weren’t even going to say goodbye to me? Michael, what’s wrong, baby?” I come around in front of him and slide my hands underneath his coat, trying to warm up and get closer to him, get behind the wall I just felt him slam between us.

“Nothing. I just know that you’re about to leave and I haven’t spent any time with my friends or my family tonight. They wanted to go for a walk to get away from the adults, and I walked with them. What’s the big deal, Lillian?”

Ouch, asshole. That freaking stings.

“Oh, okay. Well I’m going to head back and wait on my mom to pick me up. So I guess, yeah.” I have nothing else to say. There isn’t any getting around this wall he’s put up. “Bye, Michael,” I say it so low that I doubt he can hear me.

I’m about halfway to his house when I hear him running up to me. “Lil, wait. I’m sorry, I just…” He sighs and looks down into my tear-stained face. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper, wiping my tears away with the sleeve of my jacket. I look up and give him a half-ass smile. “Just go have fun. I didn’t mean to take up all your time. I gotta go. Mom’s car is here.”

“Okay, I’ll try to call you tomorrow. That cool?”

“Yeah, sure. Bye.” I’m trying to get away from him before the tears start again.

I hop in the back of the car and lie down facing the back seat so Mom doesn’t see that I’m upset.

“Hey, sweetie. Did you have fun at your first
real
New Year’s party?” Mom asks while pulling away.

“Yeah, Mom. It was fun. I’m just tired now. I’ll probably pass out back here.”

“You’re not drunk, are you?” she laughs.

“No, Momma, just tired.”

“Okay, Lil. I’m glad you had fun, sweetie.”

“Yeah.” It’s all I can muster as the tears fall and soak the back seat under where my cheek rests.
What the hell happened between his room and outside?

While the tears fall, I hear Lilly attempt her optimism like she always does. “
Hey, Lil, it’s okay. You’ll see. You are reading way too much into nothing. He loves you. Think of every time he has told you that. Think of every way he has showed you that. You’ll see. Everything will be better tomorrow.”