A Woman Gone Mad (9 page)

“Leo, please, please don’t do this to me. I never led you to believe any different, did I?”

“No, baby. But I can’t take this. You don’t even know me. I was a complete dick to you earlier. Jesus, look at where you’re at. You’re in a shithole. I can’t take this from you here, baby, I’ll hate myself.”

“Hey.” I grab his face with both hands. “No, Leo. Fuck that! Look at me, dammit.” His eyes lock onto mine. “Do you think I didn’t know what I was getting into when I came out with you tonight or when I walked in here with you?” I’m as serious as I can be because I am on the brink of tears. “I’m not trying to get you to take anything. I’m giving it to you. Only you, and not because I have to, but because I want to, baby. Please, please let me give it to you.” I hear my voice cracking and I hate it. I don’t want him to think I’m weak.

His big, warm hands cradle my face and he looks up into my eyes. “You sure, Lil? You’re absolutely certain, baby? Because I refuse to. I’ll drive you home this second if you are not one hundred percent sure.”

Looking straight into his dark blue eyes, I say as clearly and as certainly as I ever have, “Yes, Leo. I am without a shadow of a doubt one hundred percent sure. Hell, I was sure the second I laid eyes on you, baby.”

Before I even know what’s happening, I am on my back again, getting my breath stolen by his hungry kiss devouring my mouth. His magical hands and fingers are stirring my body back to life, strengthening the lingering hums that are still quietly running through my body from begging him.

And in sixty seconds flat he has me begging again for more, pleading to him for release.

“Baby, thank you. I don’t know why you chose me, but fuck, thank you so much, Lil.” His breath is hot against my skin as he kisses and nips at my neck, shoulders, and collarbone. “Promise I’ll take care of you, ’kay, baby?” He slips a long, deft finger deep inside and moves it slowly in and out of me.

“Please, Leo.” I’m panting, breathing ragged breaths into my lungs. Fuck, I feel it, and I want it now. “I can’t take this anymore, baby. Please.”

“Shhh, okay, baby. I got you.” His whispers against my skin and neck, chill bumps run down my arms and legs. His hot, wet mouth licks the shell of my ear then bites down hard on my earlobe and sucks it into his mouth. At the same time, he slips a second finger in, pushing in and out at a faster pace while using his callused thumb to circle my clit.

Shit. I never knew my body could feel like this. I feel high. I’m coherent, but I can’t make coherent words. My skin feels so tight, and I swear he’s going to light me up from the inside out.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” The chants in my head tear from my throat and I feel any and all control I may have had slipping from my grasp.

“Mm hmm, that’s it, baby. Come on, Lil. Give it to me. Give me that cum, baby.”

BAM!!! I faintly hear my shrill screams and cursing bounce off the bare walls. However, I can’t be certain. All I can say is my head rolls back when my eyes rolls back into it, and behind my lids I see fireworks. I feel this, whatever this is, shooting from between my legs to every fingertip, every toe, every hair follicle. It radiates and rolls; it’s like shooting stars. It’s magical and beautiful, and I abso-fucking-lutely
LOVE
it!

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re beautiful, baby. Shit, that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

I am semi aware that my shirt is no longer on my body and that both of Leo’s arms are holding up his weight again and framing either side of my face.

He cups my face again with his hands and I feel the hot skin of his hard length against my bare core.

“Lil, look at me, baby. You gotta listen to me, okay?” I nod. “I’ve never done this before, okay? Been with a virgin. I think it’s gonna hurt. That’s what I’ve been told, so you gotta tell me, baby. Do you want me to go fast and get it over with or do you want me to go slow and ease you through it?”

“Fast, Leo. Get it over with fast.”

“Okay, baby, but you tell me to stop if it hurts too much, okay? Lil, look at me. Okay?”

“Okay, I will. Promise,” I whisper through the need pulsing through my veins straight into my center.

“Keep your eyes on mine, baby. I gotta be able to read your eyes. You hear me, Lil?”

“Mm hmm.” I’m still flying high on the aftershocks of my orgasm.

I look up into Leo’s eyes, and as soon as they focus, he slams into me to the hilt.

My scream rips from my throat as tears gather in the corner of my eyes, but I immediately bite down hard on my bottom lip to stop the scream and keep my gaze locked on Leo’s worried eyes.

He doesn’t move, still buried deep inside me. “You okay, baby? Shit, of course you’re not. All right, I just… Shit, Lil, do you want me to stop?”

“Hell fuckin’ no! You didn’t just slam through my virginity to pull out now!” My teeth are gritted.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure, baby. You want me to stay still for a second?”

“No, I… I’m okay.” I sniffle and feel a tear slide down the side of my face and into my hair.

“It’s okay, Leo. You can move, baby.”

He starts to slowly rock back and forth. It hurts, but not as bad as at first. And once his pace picks up, the pain ebbs to a dull ache. He reaches one hand down to where our bodies are joined and then brings it up to cup my breast, circling my nipple with his wet thumb pad. He brings his mouth to my wet nipple and licks the wetness he left behind then sucks my nipple into his mouth.

Immediately I begin moving in a rhythm that matches his. He moans around my swollen nipple in his mouth, swipes, and licks once, twice, and then his mouth moves and devours mine, delving his hot, wet tongue into my mouth. I taste myself on his tongue and damn, it fucking turns me on.

Gasping for air, I pull back and look into his eyes as I sink my nails into his shoulders, using them as leverage to rock as hard and fast as I can against him, with him.

“Fuckin’ taste good, baby. So damn good.” His words have need and ecstasy fueling my hunger and need for this man and this man alone.

“Shit, Leo. Shit, baby.” Rocking my hips harder and faster against him, I feel my heart pounding and electricity zipping through me. I can’t explain it by stringing words together. I only have single words. Shit. Need. Ache. Bliss. Heaven. Yes. More. Fuck. Don’t. Stop. And harder.

“Not hurtin’ anymore, baby?” His lips and teeth kiss and nip at my jaw.

“Oh Gawd no. Shit, you feel so good, Leo.” Our wet skin slapping against each other, our moans of ecstasy, and our growls of hunger are the only other sounds in the room besides our whispered words.

“So damn tight, baby. You feel like heaven. I can’t keep going, baby, I can’t… I been fixin’ to cum since I first slammed into you, baby. I can’t…”

“Let go, baby. Let go,” I whisper, looking up at him lovingly and smile.

He starts thrusting into me in fast, deep, plunging thrusts, over and over. Then he slams all the way into me and goes completely still for one second before I feel shudders seize his body.

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCKING HELL YES! Dammit, Lil!”

My eyes widen and fly up to his when I feel him pouring hot liquid into me.

Holy fucking shit, he didn’t wear a condom? What the fuck? Oh good Lord, I’m not on anything!!!! Is he a fucking crazy?
Then fucking Lilly pipes up,
“No, no, no, no. Calm down, Lil. I’m about sixty percent sure that it’s impossible to get pregnant the first time. I read it somewhere, I swear.”

Leo looks down at me and his face looks puzzled at my wide eyes. “Baby, you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“You didn’t put on a condom? I’m not on birth control. Why didn’t you put on a condom?” I’m pissed but trying hard to conceal it.

“What? No, I…I wasn’t going to use a condom with you. No way in hell, baby.”

“But I’m not on birth control, Leo. What the fuck?” Okay, now I’m pissed and I don’t give a damn if he knows. He’s playing with fire, but I’m the only one who gets burned here.

“Baby, hey, calm down. You think I’m ever gonna let you go? Especially after what you just gave me? You’re crazy if you think I’m lettin’ you get away.” Cradling my face, he kisses me once, twice, so soft and tender with his perfect lips. “You’re mine. Do you understand me, baby? Mine. Forever. Period.”

Wait, what? Hold the hell up. I mean, shit, I like you, but I wasn’t looking for forever. Not yet anyway.

“Answer me, Lil. Do you understand me?” His dark blue eyes are pleading with me. He has fear in his voice, and all my anger fades away. Lilly said sixty percent, right? Well I won’t go making problems until I’ve got a positive pregnancy test in hand. I’ll also make damn sure this shit doesn’t happen again.

“Yeah, Leo. I understand, baby.” I whisper kisses over his furrowed brow.

He lies back, sighing, and pulls my body up along his side. I rest my right cheek on his chest and listen to his heartbeat while he combs my hair over and over until I fall asleep.

Right before consciousness completely leaves me, I hear Leo saying, “I’m not letting you go, Lil. I’ll never let you go, baby.”

L
eo and I are inseparable from that point on. I haven’t outright told my parents about him because he’s eighteen and well, honestly, I’m not really sure how Mom and Dad would take it. Or the fact that he’s two inches taller than my daddy and looks and dresses like a sexy grunge god.

However, the good news is, with me babysitting for the Stewarts’ every weekday, it doesn’t seem like an issue I need to address in order to keep seeing Leo. So I leave it alone.

Allen, having front-row seats day in and day out, catches on pretty quickly though, and my baby brother doesn’t like it
at all
.

“Hey, Lil.” Allen walks into my room one Saturday while Mom and Dad are at the grocery store. “You got a second, sis? I want to talk to you.”

“Sure I do.” I pat my bed. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“Okay, I really don’t know how to put this so I’m just going to throw it out there. Don’t get pissed off, okay? Hear me out first.”

“Oh God, Allen, just say it.” I roll over on my stomach and prop my chin up on my hands.

“I know that you and Leo are”—he looks up at me from under his sandy blond bangs, his dark brown eyes serious—“what, dating? Boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Oh that. Yeah, you could say that. Why? What’s up?”

“It’s just, I don’t like him, Lil, and I’ve heard stuff about him from Jason. He was like some man-whore in California. Jason said that he was like a surfer player.”

I can’t help it. I burst out laughing, “A surfer player? What the hell is a surfer player?”

“Hey, don’t freaking laugh at me. You know, he was a surfer and he was a player. Jason said that every time they went to visit him and his parents in California they never saw him because he was out with girls all the time. And when they did see him, it was always with a different girl.”

I do try to look like I’m listening because Allen’s eyes are pleading for me to pay attention to him. “Okay. I hear ya, buddy, but look.” I keep my eyes locked with his. “I don’t really even like him. He’s cool to hang out with, yeah. And he seems like the only choice I have right now since we’re at the Stewarts’ all the time. Hey, I’m just having a good time, okay, baby bro?”

“I don’t want you hurt again. You think I wasn’t paying attention when all that stuff with Michael went down? Well I was, and I had to watch my sister lose twenty pounds when she couldn’t afford to lose five. I won’t let this asshole surfer player hurt you like that. I don’t ever want to see you like that again, Lil. And I’ll kick his ass if he does too.”

“Whoa, whoa, come on. Don’t say that in front of anybody. And you need to calm down, okay?” I reach over and hug Allen tight and feel a tug in my heart from learning that my baby brother had to watch me fall apart. I’m a little shocked that Allen even noticed, even more at how much it affected him. “Hey,” I whisper, still hugging him tight. “I love you, kiddo. You know that?”

“Yeah. Love you too, Lil.”

“And I promise I am nowhere near letting this guy get to my heart. He can’t hurt me. It’s just a summer fling, okay? I promise, Allen.”

“Okay, sis. I just… I’m glad we got to talk about it. Thanks for not getting pissed at me.” His dark brown eyes are watching me.

“I can’t get pissed at you. You’re just lookin’ out for me.” I smile at him.

“Psh, yeah right. You get pissed plenty at me.” He stands up, making his way out my bedroom door when I throw a pillow at him.

“Oh, well that’s only when you drink the last of the milk, ya ass.” I laugh, getting up to grab the pillow I tossed at him.