Accidental Crush (21 page)

"After Shane separated us, the girls grabbed us;
Gretch went to Brian and Rebecca came to me. Shane kind of stayed in the middle with his arms stretched out just in case we decided to start again. I think we both started to realize what had just happened. Brian looked at me and said he was sorry. For the first time, I believed him, but I don't think he was talking about what happened with Gretchen; I think he meant about the fight. Then I just turned around and left. Rebecca and Shane came with me, Gretchen stayed with him. God only knows what happened after I left."

In my head,
I’m picturing RTS and Gretchen tending to their bloody wounds. I wish I could have been the one that was there to help Todd. As soon as we hang up, I text Shane back and tell him I talked to Todd and know everything. He texts back that it was really crazy. He seems shaken up even over text.

I
can’t sleep. I just keep thinking about what happened and what is going to happen tomorrow. How is Ryan going to take everything? I so badly wanted this to all work out with no one getting hurt and now two people are really hurt and one more is about to be.

***

The next morning, when we pull up to school in Ryan’s old Mustang, my heart
is pounding and for the first time it has nothing to do with seeing Todd. Well, actually it has everything to do with seeing Todd, but not in the usual way, more like in a this is going to open up a window to the truth, a window I wish could stay closed forever kind of way. Everything seems hyper real this morning. The fluorescent lights seem brighter, the smell of teenage sweat seems stronger, and the stains on the industrial hallway carpet are more obvious. Maybe I notice everything a little more because I want to avoid seeing the one thing I know everyone is going to notice. I feel like my brother is about to walk into a war zone and he has no idea; the hardest part is knowing what is coming. I wish I didn’t know.

“Hi, guys!” Shane
says from behind as he catches up with us in the middle of the hall. “I’m not going to miss this,” he whispers so only I can hear.

I
look at him with a mixture of disbelief and fear. Disbelief for what he has said so joyfully, and fear for what I know is about to come. As we turn the corner, everyone is already at their lockers. Todd, Brian, Gretchen and RTS are all there. Brian and Todd are talking and from here it looks like everything is fine, but my heart is still pounding. 

“Ash, don’t you have to go to your
own locker?” Ryan questions, wondering why Shane and I are both still walking with him.

“I will in a sec, I have a question for Todd first.” I scramble for an excuse.

“Hey, guys,” Ryan says as we approach everyone. I can hear my heart beating in my ears, I am seriously
that
nervous. I look at Todd. His left eye is swollen and it looks like the outside is almost as blue as his actual eye color. There is no hiding that. Then I look at Brian. Todd was right; he does have a pretty big gash above his right eye and his lip is definitely swollen.

“What happened to you guys?” Ryan
asks, it is obvious as soon as you look at them that they were in a fight. Todd couldn’t have been more right, there is no hiding it.

“There was a misunderstanding,” Brian
says. “Right Todd?” he adds, looking right at him.

There
is silence for a beat longer then there should have been. “Yeah. A misunderstanding.” Todd isn’t as good of a liar as Brian or he isn’t as comfortable telling this lie because it’s not at all believable when he says it.

“Man. That must have been a pretty drastic misunderstanding.” Ryan
looks at both of them and then glances at Gretchen. He is appeasing them, but I can tell he doesn’t buy it for a second. The way he looks at Gretchen, I am pretty sure he has an idea it involved her, too.

***

As Shane and I
finally make our way to our lockers an excited buzz is vibrating through the hallway. Today is a big day: the pep rally—which means we get out of class early—the Sour Lollipops performance and the game. On top of everything, there are now massive rumors flying all around school about Todd and Brian. The only people who really know the truth, though, are Shane and me. Oh, and Todd, Brian, Gretchen and RTS. Hopefully, it stays that way.

I
see Blythe walking down the hall, and when she spots me, she comes running up to me.

“Ash, what is going on?”

I don’t have to ask, I know exactly what she is talking about. She can’t know the whole truth, but she knows enough to piece things together.

“Were they fighting because of Brian and Gretchen?” I
can see the genuine concern in her eyes.

“Something
like that.” I keep it very matter of fact.

“How’s Ryan?” My heart
aches a little; she wears her true feelings all over her face whenever she mentions him.

“He doesn’t really know why they were fighting so please don’t tell anyone,” I
say, almost pleading with her.

“What does he think?”

“Well, I actually think he has an idea now. I mean he obviously knows something is up. The guys said it was a misunderstanding.”

“Don’t worry, Ash, I won’t say anything to anyone.” Her southern accent
slips through.

I believe her, but since I also
know she really likes Ryan, this could be the perfect opportunity for her to make a move. I really don’t think she will; she’s above that and too pretty to need to stoop to such low levels. Then again, you’d think the same thing of Brian.

Ryan and Todd both
aren’t at lunch. I keep expecting them to walk through the cafeteria doors any minute. It isn’t the same without them, but it is the first time in weeks I actually eat. I notice Blythe is mysteriously missing, too, but that isn’t as strange as Todd and Ryan since Blythe skips lunch a lot these days to avoid any added tension. Maybe it is just a coincidence? However, it doesn’t exactly help prove Brian wrong in Gretchen's eyes.

Brian
is with Gretchen at their usual table, along with RTS and a few of the other players and cheerleaders. He is the life of the table as usual. I think the fight only managed to up his status. There is practically a line to get to their lunch table to talk about the game.

“What happened with Todd and Brian?” Simon
asks our table as he sits down with his lunch tray filled with slop.

“Todd said it was a misunderstanding, but they don't tell us anything.” Sid
shakes her head only half caring as she glances up at Shane and me. The relationship with Simon really has mellowed her out; I kind of miss the old, over-reactive Sid.
I guess Todd is sticking with the “misunderstanding“ story.

“You guys don't know, either?” Simon
asks Shane and me.

Shane and I
look at each other. We know the real answer and the answer we need to give.

“Nope. No clue,” Shane
says.

“Yeah, Sid’s right; they don’t tell us anything. It’s probably nothing,” I
say, maybe that’s overkill, but Simon seems to buy it.

“Are you guys psyched for the game tonight? I know I am. I’ll be happy when double band practice is a thing of the past.”

I roll my eyes and then realize that I’ve just done that in front of him. I suck. “Sorry, Simon, that wasn’t directed at you. I'm just tired of hearing about the game.”

“It’s cool,” he
says, but I can tell it really isn’t. I honestly like Simon, I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings; I need to pull it together.

I
look back over at Brian’s table to mentally get away from our table for a second. There are non-stop people over there; wishing him good luck, asking about the fight, talking to Gretchen, RTS and the rest of the girls. Everyone is in full game gear; cheerleading uniforms, letterman jackets and jerseys. It is quite possibly the last game of my freshmen year and there is not any part of me that is excited for it. In fact, I am dreading it. I don't see how this can work out well with so much tension between all of them.

***

By the time we
are in Spanish class, I can’t stop looking at the clock. Shane is so lucky that he gets to miss all of Spanish because Senora Gonzales is teaching us football terms and making us repeat them out loud.

Throw.
Lanzar.

Pass.
Pasar.

Touchdown.
Aterrizaje.

Is there no place I can go to escape the excitement for the game? What is wrong with everyone? My stomach
feels like someone is squeezing it, I’m so nervous. The only glimmer of excitement I have is that in less than twenty minutes I'm going to see Todd sing. Just as I start running through a list of songs they might perform for the millionth time, the early dismissal bell rings.

“Finally! Let’s go.” Sid immediately
jumps up. She read my mind. 

“Wow! Are you excited to see the
Sour Lollipops?” I probe with sarcasm to try to hide my own excitement.

“Yeah, it’s fun to watch them up there." She
smiles and answers honestly, ignoring my sarcastic stab. "I have no idea what song they’re doing, do you?” Sid asks as we make our way out into the crowded hallway. We are suddenly thrust into a sea of students pushing their way toward the gym.

“No idea, but I’m curious to see them all together after the fight.”

“Ash, do you know more than you’re telling me? You seem really nervous. Why?”

“I’m not nervous. I think I’m more worried about the game tonight. This is a big deal for all of them,” I
try to cover, as I narrowly avoid getting elbowed by the tall lanky guy next to me.

“Yeah. I guess it is, especially for Brian a
nd Ryan. I never worry about Todd. Things always just work out for him. Always,” Sid says it so matter of factly, it's funny; she’s usually really superstitious.

Everyone
is pushing and shoving to get into the gym as if they are on their way into a rock concert. What a difference compared to the last pep rally. When we finally make it into the gym, the same makeshift stage from homecoming is set up in the middle of the polished wood court and you can feel the excitement from everyone in the stands. It’s electric.

The cheerleaders
come out and do a dance that brings everyone to their feet. The energy level can’t get any higher, even Principal Marks gets a huge ovation. He introduces the varsity team and all the players come running out, wearing their jerseys. I feel a small sigh of relief when I finally see Ryan and Todd standing with Brian. At least they’re all talking or, at least, standing next to each other.

“Let’s hear it for our Trojan Varsity football team and cheerleaders!” Principal Marks shout
s into the microphone. The room goes crazy, the players roar and it seems like every cheerleader is being thrown up in the air at the same time. “And now a special performance from the Sour Lollipops!”

Todd
walks out from the group of players with a few of the other guys, looking amazing in his jersey and wearing an EHS hat, which helps hide his eye a little. It already looks better or maybe it’s because I’m sitting so far away. My heart starts beating faster when I see him pick up his guitar. RTS is up there in her cheerleading uniform. For the first time, I realize Shane is the only one on stage not in uniform.

Shane
kicks the song off with a drumstick countdown and, the instant the music starts, everyone is back up on their feet. The band sounds incredible as they perform Imagine Dragon’s “It’s Time”. The entire gym is clapping and stomping their feet to the beat of the song. As soon as Todd starts singing, the crowd goes insane. I always forget what a great voice he has until he starts singing. It’s like he is meant to be up there. The way he grabs the microphone in the stand, the way he strums his guitar, the way he moves on stage; you know that’s where he belongs. He seems so in his element, so comfortable, so natural. 

Shane
sounds incredible on the drums, too. Unfortunately, even RTS sounds great; she really does harmonize well with Todd. Their voices are completely in sync. It’s such a good song choice! When they are done, everyone starts chanting, “Lollipops… Lollipops…” over and over.

Todd
is sweaty and a little out of breath, which makes him even hotter. “Thank you, Easthaven High,” he says into the microphone, his voice echoing through the gym. The stands are going wild and I fear a few of the girls are going to topple down the bleachers they are so excited.

After the pep rally
is over, the entire team is surrounded. Sid and I once again have to push our way through the crowd to get to them. When we finally get to the middle of the chaos, Shane is getting high-fives from everyone. 

“You can really play.” A cute
football player I’ve never noticed before is saying to him. I think Shane looks like he is blushing. I make a mental note to ask him about that later.

“Shane, you were unbelievable!” I
say, running up and hugging him. Luckily, Todd is standing right there. “You, too, Todd.” I’m trying to decide if I should hug him, but I take too long, and now it would just be awkward.
Another missed opportunity!