Authors: Adrienne Torrisi
"That long, huh?" She
knows by my lack of answer it has been a while. "Todd is a good kid." She lowers her voice, "And he is pretty cute." She smiles again and winks at me.
"I'm out," Ryan
says, throwing his hands up in the air as he turns to leave the kitchen.
My mom and I
look at each other and start to laugh.
“I’m so excited for you, Ash.” Then her smile turn
s serious. “Just be careful and be smart." I know what she means, we’ve already had the ‘talk’. "I'm always here for you if you want to talk about anything, kiddo." I haven't heard that word in a while. It makes me smile and realize just how far Todd and I have come.
"What about Dad?" I
ask.
"Don't worry, I'll break it to him gently. He likes Todd; I'm just not sure he'll like anyone dating his baby girl."
"Thanks, Mom." I hug her tightly.
I’m so glad it is finally out in the open, well, at least at home. Now we just need to get through school. Tomorrow should be interesting.
Chapter
16: School
There is a definite crispness to the air this morning; it is the first day it really feels like fall is here to stay. Today is the day I’ve been waiting for, dreaming about, the day I didn’t think would ever come. Today, everyone will know my true feelings for Todd and more importantly, his true feelings for me. My stomach is full of butterflies as I walk into school. I could barely sleep last night. A tiny, little part of me feels bad for RTS, but it is such a tiny part that I don’t let it dampen my elation. Just as I’m closing my locker door, I feel his arms wrap around my waist from behind.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Todd
whispers in my ear and his lips lightly brush against my cheek.
I
can't believe this is happening, right in the middle of the hallway; he isn’t holding back at all! It is just like when we were at the hospital. The butterflies in my stomach quickly double. I look over at Shane who is right next to me at his locker and his eyes are huge. “I guess the deal is off?!” Todd and I both laugh.
“What happened to no more secrets, Ash? And no PDA, Todd?” Shane's eyes
are still full of shock.
“Shane, don’t blame Ash. I played a little dirty to convince her it was too hard to pretend we're not together.” Todd
looks at me and smiles as he continues talking with his arms wrapped around me. “And I guess Ash made me realize just how great PDA can be.” His gaze stays on me and he lightly kisses my lips.
Shane
starts gagging and he holds up a finger "Wait a second..." He convulses again. "I'm sorry, I think I'm going to throw up… that's just so sweet." He turns to the person standing next to him. "Isn't that so sweet?" He is dripping with sarcasm. "I think I liked the no PDA Todd better." He pats Todd on the back.
“Very funny, Shane.” Todd
smiles, but keeps his eyes on me.
“Jealousy will get you nowhere,” I
say, my eyes locked on Todd’s. He is wearing jeans that hug his butt perfectly and a black thermal that makes the color of his eyes really pop. There is just a small trace of purple under his eye, otherwise there is no hint a fight ever happened.
“Let me walk you to your first class.” His fingers intertwine with mine. I love how small his hand
makes mine feel. I love his smell, I breathe in deeply to enjoy his scent. I turn to give Shane a can-you-believe-it look and mouth, “I’ll see you later.”
Todd me
ets me outside every class to walk me to the next one. I didn’t even know he knew my schedule. I feel like a princess; I keep waiting for my prince to turn into a pumpkin.
I’m kind of dreading lunch
because I know RTS will be there. Just walking through the doors makes my heart beat faster. I’m not sure how it is going to work since Todd and I are meeting at the cafeteria, so I sit at my usual table with Shane, Sid and Simon. As soon as Todd gets to his table, though, he puts his tray down and looks right in our direction. His eyes connect with mine and he walks toward me, not losing eye contact once.
“I don’t think so.” He
pulls me up gently by the hand and gestures for the others to come with us. The entire time we approach their table with our fingers linked, RTS gives me the death glare. I feel my cheeks getting warm as I give her the most genuine smile I can muster, but inside, I feel like I have won the war. Finally payback for all the times she’s given me looks that say she is better than me. I no longer feel bad, not even a little bit.
Todd and I only separate when we
have classes. It is still strange when we are with Sid or Ryan, but to my surprise, there are only a few whispers in the halls. People don’t seem as shocked or appalled as I thought they would be to see me with Todd.
After school, Todd me
ets me outside of Senora Gonzales’s class. He is with Ryan, but that doesn’t stop him from holding my hand. I can’t believe how open he is being, not that I’m complaining!
I
walk to their lockers with them and lean against the wall, waiting for him to finish. Their lockers are a lot more popular than mine. They need a traffic cop, so many people stop by to talk about the game, Brian, homework, and on and on… No one ever stops by our lockers other than Simon.
Todd
glances over, instantly reading my bored expression, he comes over and wraps his arms around me. I feel my heart start to race at his touch. He leans down and whispers, "Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you over here all by yourself." I can feel his warm breath on my neck.
“Hey, sorry, Ash,” Ryan
says as he joins us.
“For what?” I
ask, my eyes are still locked on Todd.
“For all the times I did this with
Gretch in front of you.” He smiles. I know it is really strange for him, but I can’t stop. I want to be with Todd every second of every minute of every day. I no longer care what other people think, or that Todd is a junior and I am only a freshman, or that Todd is royalty at school and I am barely noticeable. Todd wants to be with me and I want to be with him; that’s all that matters.
***
The rest of the week flies by and it is Friday before I know it. You can feel the excitement in the air at school; the big game is next Saturday. Aside from the many RTS stink eyes, it's been an amazing week!
Thursday
was Gretchen's first day back at school, which made Ryan much happier and also kept him distracted so Todd and I had more alone time.
Plus,
Brian is supposed to be released from the hospital tomorrow. He still needs to be really careful, but Dr. Greene says he will make a full recovery. He took not being able to play in the game pretty hard, but considering how close he came to never playing again, sitting out for one game doesn’t seem too bad; even if that one game is the State Championship. Since today is Friday, all the football players are wearing their lettermen jackets. I love Todd in his and I can’t wait to see him. I’m sharing Sid's locker mirror when I feel his warm, familiar touch from behind.
"Good morning, beautiful." He
leans down and gently kisses me on the cheek while his soft hair tickles my neck. This is starting to become a daily ritual and I love it. Although, his voice still makes my stomach flutter, especially when he calls me beautiful.
"You didn't open your locker yet?" He
looks disappointed.
"Not yet. Why?”
"Oh, no reason," he says, trying to backtrack.
I look at him with questioning confusion. "I was just going to open it." I
keep my eyes on his, trying to read his expression as I put in my locker combination. I quickly open the door out of habit and then freeze.
There, in my locker,
is his letterman jacket neatly folded on top of my books. I feel a surge of excitement rush through my entire body.
"How?" is all I
can get out.
Sid
stands there, smiling. "It helps to have connections." Of course! Sid knows my locker combination as well as her own.
"It's yours, if you want to wear it," Todd
says, smiling with pride at pulling one over on me.
I
am absolutely speechless. My heart feels like it has exploded. "Of course." I can barely get the words out. "I'd love to."
Wearing Todd's letterman jacket
is incredible. It smells exactly like him, which means that I can barely concentrate on anything in class all day. Whenever I miss him, I just bury my nose under the collar to envelop myself in his scent. It's like he is with me even when he isn’t. Of course seeing him in person is better, but this is a great substitute.
At the end of lunch I realize I
’ve forgotten a book so Todd walks me to my locker. Finally we are alone, well sort of, the hallway is practically empty. Our fingers are intertwined; I love feeling his warm hand on mine. A chill starts to fill the air as we make our way toward The Quad. I always go the long way to avoid walking through it. When we get to the entrance, my feet automatically freeze at the line of separation. Todd continues walking, not realizing I’ve stopped until our hands separate. He looks back confused. "Ash?"
"It's The Quad," I mouth back.
"So?"
"I'm a freshman," I
say as a matter of fact.
He
comes back to where I am standing with my feet firmly planted. He grabs both of my hands and rests his forehead on mine. "So?"
"It's forbidden," I
say, repeating what Ryan told me before school started.
"Says who?"
"Everyone." I pause, contemplating if I should say any more. "Ryan told me about Emily Webster, a freshman they covered in ketchup because she crossed the line of separation into The Quad."
Todd
shakes his head and starts to laugh. "He told you that? That's ridiculous. Besides, you’re with me and I'm not a freshman." He smiles. "Trust me." Our eyes connect as he takes a step closer to me. At that moment, I trust him with my entire heart. Something about his touch makes me feel safe, just like it did in the hospital. But The Quad is the place I've avoided at all costs during school and I’m now going to enter it; something I swore I would never do before two-forty-five.
"I'm right here," he
says as he pulls me forward. My heart is pounding in my chest and I hold my breath as my foot crosses over the line of separation. I close my eyes to brace myself for the wrath that is coming. It's one thing to be humiliated on my own, but to be humiliated in front of Todd, I'm not sure I can handle that.
"You can open your eyes." I
feel Todd's warm breath as he whispers in my ear. I squeeze his hand tighter and then quickly open my eyes. Everyone is standing around talking. No one even notices me; there are no alarms, no flashing lights and no ketchup!
"See." Todd bit
es his lip, trying to hold back his laugh. "Relax." He runs his fingers over my shoulders, feeling how tense I still am. "Welcome to The Quad." He lowers his voice, “Not very impressive, huh?"
I
can't help laughing at that. "No, it really isn't." I scan the area. It is a long brick hallway with arch cut outs that everyone uses as benches on either side, covering the length of the hall. It is filled with the elite juniors and seniors. They are all talking and laughing, some are kissing, but there is nothing special, nothing different than anywhere else in the school. Todd cups my jawline with both of his hands and turns my face back toward his, our eyes lock. "You look really great in my jacket."
I
can feel the flush grow on my cheeks as he leans down, still cradling my face with his warm hands. "I love when you blush," he says, running the pads of his thumbs over my cheeks, which only exaggerates the heat in them. I know I’m bright red when suddenly the school warning bell rings and we both jump. We immediately start laughing at how ridiculous the other person looks.
"We better go. I don't really want another detention,"
I say between breaks of laughter. He smiles and quickly kisses me before we separate so neither of us will be late to our classes.
As I
walk to class, I put my hands in his jacket pockets, it feels like he is still with me since his smell clings to it. Having a boyfriend in school is pretty incredible; my heart is still racing. The Quad is definitely overrated, but my first experience was perfect, just like Todd.
Chapter
17: Getting Closer
Todd and I text all weekend, but since our school made it into the State Championship game that means we also have one more big pep rally, which means the Sour Lollipops are performing. When Todd doesn’t have football practice, he has Sour Lollipops rehearsals; so I don’t get to see him in person the entire weekend. Unfortunately, that also means RTS is at Sour Lollipops rehearsals. Luckily, Shane is there, too, so I know I’ll get the full scoop. It's not that I don’t trust Todd, it’s that I don’t trust RTS.
Shane:
RTS quote on Todd: "The good part is we know he isn't gay, the bad part is he seems to like PDA with someone else." insert RTS stink eye look on ‘someone’
LOL she insulted both of us!
I type back.
Yes, but she knows she insulted you. :)
Good point
I text back and my phone buzzes at the same time with a message from Todd.
Hey Ash. Miss u. Thinking about u
I smile and inhale deeply as I type back,
miss you, too
Even if he's with her, he's thinking about me!
Ryan
is going to Brian's house after football practice since he’s coming home from the hospital today. It is as if nothing has ever happened between them. According to Ryan, ”they’re good”. I know that is as much as I’m going to get out of him, so I don’t push. My brother doesn’t really open up emotionally, so you have to take what you can get. Todd told me Brian and Ryan had a heart to heart at the hospital and they both promised to never let a girl come between them again.
All three of them
have been contacted by scouts who came to the last game and they’ve all been invited to different college football camps over the summer. I’m already dreading it because I know that means Todd will be away for at least two weeks. Not seeing him this weekend has been hard enough, never mind two whole weeks! Although I keep reminding myself that who knows how long this will last, so I shouldn't get too carried away. My phone buzzes again.
It’s
Shane.
OMG RTS just mentioned how cute Johnny is LMAO
LOL she is clueless. What song are u guys practicing?
Nice try
At this point, the entire school
knows a pep rally means a Sour Lollipops performance and everyone is trying to figure out what song they are going to do next. Even though I have serious connections, I get no information.
***
I actually
make it to Monday, although going through this entire weekend was absolute torture.
Sid and I
start our day sharing her locker mirror, as usual. I can't wait to see Todd, the team is on two a day practices to get ready for the game so I know he'll be coming over soon. With two a days and Sour Lollipops
,
he has to be exhausted, but there is only one more week to go. You can feel the buzz of excitement through the halls, even the teachers are excited.
"Is he practicing any new songs at home?" I
ask as we put our books in our lockers.
"No, nothing different than usual. He gives me no clues. He's the worst," Sid
says, confirming what I already know.
"Same with Shane."
"What about Shane?" he asks as he walks up to his locker and hears his name.
"We were just saying that you give us no
Sour Lollipops song information."
"That's definitely true," Todd
says, coming up behind me. I turn to see his smile as he puts his arms around me. I’ve spoken to him all weekend, but seeing him sends my heart into a flutter. His eyes, his smile, his scent; these are all things you don’t get over the phone.
"Hi, Todd!"
Sid rolls her eyes and shakes her head at us.
"Hey, where's my jacket?" He
instantly notices I’m not wearing it.
"I brought it back for you, I figured it's not Friday." I
start to pull it out of my bag and he stops me.
"No, I want you to have it. It's yours to wear whenever you want."
I step up on my tiptoes and kiss him. "Thank you." This is the first time I’ve initiated a kiss at school and it feels great. His lips are so incredibly soft, that's one more thing you can't get over the phone.
“Brian’s back,” Todd
says, glancing down the hall in his direction.
“Yeah, I can tell
; the entire school is down there.”
Todd
smiles and puts his arms back around my waist. “It’s so good to see you, Ash.”
I
feel the same way.
We all glance at the commotion down the hall. Brian
looks great. His hair is shorter since they had to shave it at the hospital, his new hair accentuates his defined jawline. He is wearing a baseball cap, which we know is covering up the fifty-two stitches he had to get. In typical Brian fashion, he takes his hat off every chance he gets to show off his ”battle wounds”. There are girls surrounding him, inundating him with compliments.
“
You look so cute
.” “
You’re so tough
.” “
I’m so happy you’re ok
ay.”
Brian
is completely in his element at the same time that Gretchen is surrounded by her girls and other students, wanting to hear the story again. Ryan has his arms around her from behind; it’s as if he is never going to let her go again. Other than the pink cast on her arm covered in signatures, Gretchen looks exactly the same. My eyes connect with Ryan’s and he smiles as he gives me a head nod of approval. I smile back and give him the same head nod. I’m so happy everything has worked out. I know there are more challenges ahead, but if we can all make it through this, we can make it through anything.
“Want to go say hi?” I
ask Todd.
“Nope. I’m good right here,” he
says, turning me around so I’m facing him with his arms wrapped around me.
Brian
sees Todd down the hall and pushes his way through the crowd that surrounds him to come over.
“Look at you two.” He
gestures to us. “Todd, man, I’ve never seen you this happy.” Even though he isn’t talking to me, I feel warmth growing up my cheeks. “I guess you both have me and Gretch to thank for this one.” Brian is full of sarcasm, but he is also never one to pass on getting credit. He looks at me and smiles. “Little Ashley Taylor, who knew?”
I reach out and hug him. “It’s good to see you
, too, Brian.”
And it really
is.
***
I
’ve always known Brian is talented on the field, but seeing him at practice today gives me a newfound respect. Since he can’t play he is only dressed in his jersey and a baseball cap, yet he is there guiding Johnny every step of the way. He is a true leader. Johnny is a natural, but having Brian’s guidance and blessing pushes him over the edge.
“He’s really good.” I lean over to Shane.
“I know,” he says, smiling with pride as if he has something to do with it.
“I think we can actually win.” I
catch Todd looking over at me, our eyes connect, and I can’t help but grin. He smiles back. At the first water break he comes over to the fence that separates the bleachers from the field.
“Hey, you. I love when you watch us play.” Even though the air
is crisp, his hair is soaked with sweat, but he still smells incredible, like freshly cut grass.
“Well, I like to see you in your pants.” I smile. My stomach
still flutters when I see him in his uniform.
He
starts to laugh. “Oh, yeah. These?” He poses for me. “I know spandex is pretty sexy.”
I
squeeze my lips together to hold back my laugh and shake my head. “That’s not the word I’d use.” Even though that is a lie because it is exactly the word I’d use.
He
drops his head down as he laughs and some of his sweat drips on my arm. “Sorry, Ash.”
I
glance up at him and smile. “It’s okay.” I say, keeping my eyes on his, “I’ll never wash this arm again.”
He
laughs as he wipes it off with his thumb. I love the feeling of his warm, sweaty skin touching mine.
Brian
comes up and puts his arm around Todd’s shoulder. “Hey, lover boy, we gotta get back."
“Go, before you have to run extra laps,” I
say to Todd.
“You’re worth running extra laps.
” He smiles. “See you after practice.” He leans over the fence to quickly kiss me and his warm skin against my cool cheek sends heat through my body.
Once practice
is over, we all wait at the fence outside the locker room, as usual.
“I’m going to give her a ride home.” I hear Todd say
ing to Ryan as they walk out.
Gretchen
runs up to Ryan and kisses him on the lips. “You guys looked really great out there today.” The accident has definitely brought them closer together.
“You looked pretty great out there, yourself. I think the cast really helps up your game. You'll get the sympathy cheer,
that’s for sure.” Ryan smiles and kisses her back. “Hey, Ash, I hear you already have a ride home,” he yells over to me.
“That is true,” Todd
says as he wraps his arms around my waist and gently brushes against my cheek. He is wearing a grey hoodie over a white t-shirt and a pair of beat up jeans. “No more sweat,” he whispers, making me laugh.
“I kind of liked it,” I admit. His eyes
grow wider and then he gives me a devilish sort of grin, which makes my heart start to race.
“You guys look really cute together,” Gretchen
says as we walk out to the parking lot.
"Thanks, Gretchen!" I shrug my shoulders then turn my attention to Todd. “Don’t you have rehearsal?”
“We do, but I wanted to see you. So I figured I’d give you and Sid a ride home first and then come back.”
I glance over at Ryan and he
simply shakes his head and smiles. I know he doesn’t love the idea, but I think he is getting used to seeing us together. Deep down, I'm sure he’s happy we’re happy, but I enjoy seeing his little glances. Plus, I have years of payback!
It
turns out that Sid thought Todd would be going straight to rehearsal so she already planned to get a ride home from Simon’s mom, which means Todd and I are alone, really alone. Once we are in his car, I can smell him everywhere. I love his soapy, freshly showered smell. He looks at me with an intense gaze; I can see the flecks of grey in his eyes reflecting off his hoodie.
“I love when we’re alone,” he
says, resting his hand on my knee. I place my hand on top of his and trace his knuckles with my finger.
“Me, too.” I smile. I
can’t pull my eyes away from his. He leans in and kisses me, it is just as soft and gentle as always, but it is full of passion. I lace my fingers through his, feeling the warmth of his skin, and I squeeze his hand.
His soft lips continue to connect with mine as he
runs his fingers through my hair and cups the back of my head with his hands. He grazes my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls away. My heart is pounding in my chest. I open my eyes at the same time he opens his.
“You really are beautiful,” he
says so sincerely as he brushes my hair away from my face.
“So are you.” As soon as it
slips out I feel my cheeks getting hot.
He
smiles his perfectly crooked smile and then leans in to kiss me again. I run my fingers through his soft, damp hair and push my lips back into his. His arms are around me and he pulls me up slightly so my butt is resting on the middle console, I feel the cup holders underneath me. I’m so close to him that the zipper of his hoodie is pressing into me. I slip my hands under his shirt and my fingertips grip his back; his breathing is getting faster as my fingers explore his warm skin. I am so caught up in the moment, I press my body further into his and he presses into mine, it is as if we could become one. We are cramped in the car, but it feels so good, so right. My breathing is just as fast as his own while his hands make their way back up to my face. His warm breath tickles my neck. I know we should stop, but I don’t want to, I can't. Then, he suddenly pulls back.
“Crap! I’m supposed to be back here right now. I can’t believe it’s been twenty minutes already.” We both
start to laugh.
“Guess you’re going to be a little late.” I smile as I lightly
kiss him and then fall back into my seat, trying to catch my breath.
He
raises his eyebrows and smiles. "That was pretty incredible." He places his hand back on my knee and squeezes it as he puts the car into drive.
"I'll say." I place my hand on top of his
; this is where we started. I’m so grateful Sid got a ride home with Simon. I look over at Todd again, I can see sweat glistening off his nose. "You're a little sweaty again."