my mouth as I stroked him.
Suddenly, he stopped kissing me, adjusted himself with one hand while holding my dress up stil with the other. In one fluid movement, he put
his hands under my ass, lifted me up and then entered me. I gave a short shriek and wrapped my legs and arms around him.
Even though my parents were right upstairs, I couldn't help myself. I moaned and cried out. The faster and harder he went, the louder I got. My
butt was up against the counter getting bruised, but I didn't care.
He grabbed the back of my head, forcing me to kiss him. He stopped kissing me, but tilted my head back so he could kiss my neck. He
suddenly groaned real y deep which sent me upward toward another climax.
"I love you, I love you," Kyle groaned into my neck. I started to scream as I came and he quickly covered my mouth with his to muffle it.
After a quiet minute with no sounds but the two of us trying to catch our breaths, I untangled myself from him and he eased me back onto my
feet.
I didn't know what to say or do. I stood where Kyle left me while he fixed his clothes. He had said he loved me, but that could have been just in
the heat of the moment and maybe had no real meaning, but he had never said it before.
I was real y too tired to think about it. I was tired before we started but now I was almost completely drained.
I could feel my hair on my neck, knowing that most of it had fal en out of the french rol . I knew it was real y a mess and I wondered what Jessyca
would say about it now.
I didn't know if it was because I was overly tired or slightly off balanced, but imagining Jess's face if she saw my hair and me knowing how it got
that way made me giggle. Once I started, I almost couldn't stop. Kyle looked at me as if I had completely come unhinged.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, bewildered.
"Nothing. I guess I'm just delirious because I'm so tired and worn out." I said after I managed to stop.
He raised his eyebrows, but he looked worn out, too. His eyes were red and sagging and he kept rubbing them.
"If you're too tired to go home, you can crash in Emmet's old room," I suggested. I stil didn't know what else to say, how to address what just
happened.
He looked at me blankly, as if he had not understood. Then he blinked hard and seemed to get it.
"Thanks. I appreciate that. I can't keep my eyes open much longer."
"I have to take my parents to the airport in a few hours, but you can sleep as long as you like."
Kyle fol owed me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I walked him to Emmet's room and turned on the light for him.
"Goodnight," I said, about to walk out the door, but he stopped me and kissed me.
"Goodnight." He said after releasing me.
I went to my bedroom with a crooked smile. I was feeling feverish and achy, probably from our sexcapades in the kitchen. I took a quick shower
and then crawled into bed, real y wanting to think about Kyle and imagine what wil happen next, but a nagging guilt was building. Luke came to
mind, and even though we never claimed to be that serious, it stil felt like cheating. That was something else for me to ponder, but my brain was
feeling rather murky. I had a long day and long night. A good night's sleep should help.
When I woke up in the morning, my head was no longer murky. I slept like the dead. I stil felt like a cheater.
The first thing I did was go see if Kyle was stil around. I stepped into the hal way and listened. I heard my mom moving around in the kitchen
humming, and I heard the rustling of the newspaper from the formal living room from my dad. I tip toed to Emmet's door and careful y opened it. The
bed was empty and made. There was no sign of Kyle, save for his wal et peeking out from under the bed.
Sonofabitch.
I grabbed the wal et and retreated back to my bedroom. I left it on my bed while I got ready to take a shower, but I kept looking at the wal et. I
wondered what was inside of it. Condoms? Pictures of Jess? A lock of my hair?
"None of my business," I said out loud to the wal et. "Just because you were abandoned -
again
- doesn't mean that I can freely go through you.
That would be wrong, you know?"
I took my shower, brushed my teeth and applied deodorant. When I stepped back into my room in a towel, the wal et was stil there, enticing me.
I turned my back on it, got dressed, and brushed my hair.
"Wel , if you're just going to sit there and stare at me," I said before picking up the wal et.
I careful y opened it, expecting what, I didn't know. I found a few credit cards, business cards for restaurants, car dealers, a few work-related
cards, and I even found one for an upscale strip club with the name Tandi printed on it.
Hmm.
I counted a hundred and thirty dol ars in cash. I didn't find any pictures, or condoms, or any of my hair, but I did find a piece of folded paper that
looked promising. I careful y unfolded the paper. Written in Kyle's handwriting was the address of the bar he found me at,
my
bar. I owned the bar. I
bought it just after my 25th birthday. It wasn't common knowledge that the bar was mine. My family knew, my best friend Donya knew, and Lil y the
bartender knew. The rest of my employees didn't even know the woman who occupies the same stool a couple of nights a week was their boss. So,
why did Kyle have it written down and when did he write it down?
I didn't have time to think about it. I heard my mom coming up the stairs and it was almost time to leave. I slipped the wal et into my tote bag just
as my mom barged into my room.
"I was wonderin' if you were awake or not. What time did that boss of yours leave? He's a good looking man. Too bad he's with that Venner
woman." She had started making my bed.
"What? You don't like Luke?"
"I think he's great, but I like that Kyle, too."
"Kyle can be a dick," I said, edging toward the door.
"Wel , honey, you're no angel."
"It doesn't matter. As you just pointed out, Kyle's with that Venner woman."
"Yes. Wel ." She stood upright, fluffed a pil ow and put it back on the bed. "Since he is with that Venner woman and you are with Luke, he
should probably be more careful how he looks at you when you're surrounded by two hundred and some other people."
"What are you talking about?"
"He couldn't keep his eyes off of you last night, and I saw his face when you didn't want to dance to that slow song. If I saw al of that, then who
else did?"
"Maybe you're the only one who saw what you think you saw," I said, hoping to dissuade her. "I don't think it's as dramatic as you think it is."
"Yes. Wel ." She started opening the blinds. "Maybe if it weren't for the enormous hickey on your neck that wasn't there when I left you two alone
last night, I would be inclined to believe that I'm imagining things."
I raced to the mirror to look at my neck.
"Shit!" I yel ed. I didn't real y look in the mirror when I was getting ready. I don't need a mirror to brush my teeth or my hair. "Fuck!"
"Don't let your daddy see that," Mom said before exiting my room.
After putting on a jacket that better hid my neck, I got my parents' loaded into the car and deposited them at the airport. I went over the bridge
and raced up 295 to Cherry Hil . I parked outside of Kyle's apartment building, next to his Lexus. I had to put an end to this. No more hickies, because his lips couldn't touch me again. The truth is, my relationship with Luke was getting heavy, and I real y felt something for him. Maybe love?
After taking the elevator to Kyle's floor, I half hoped that he wasn't actual y home, that Jess changed her mind about leaving and picked him up,
or he was abducted by aliens. I punched the doorbel and he opened the door seconds later, wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. So much for
aliens.
I held up his wal et.
"Again?" He asked, plucking it from my hand.
"I'm starting to believe you're doing it on purpose, like you're leaving your mark."
His eyebrows went up. "I don't need to leave a mark. I'm memorable."
"I beg to differ," I said and pul ed my jacket back at the col ar.
"I do good work," he said, touching the hickey.
"Yeah, whatever. Have a good day,
boss
." I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and pul ed me inside. He took my bag from me and
put it on the floor by the door.
"Why don't you stay a little while?" He caressed my hand in a way that made me a little melty.
"I real y shouldn't."
"Why not?"
"You know why."
"Because you can't resist me?"
"Funny." I started to pul away again, but he pul ed me further inside and then closed the door.
"Why are you in such a hurry to leave?" He wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me closer.
"Because you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend."
"Yeah...we should get rid of them."
"You don't mean that," I said, trying to break away.
"I'm not sure that I do," he whispered. "For reasons I don't want to get into. I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about us."
"Us?" I raised one eyebrow.
"I love you," he whispered, staring into my eyes.
So, it wasn't just in the heat of the moment. I stared at him, startled, unsure of what to say. I tried to pul away from him again, but he pul ed me
even closer and held me tightly.
"Do you love me?" He asked.
"I can't..." I couldn't remember what I couldn't do. He was staring at me so intensely, I lost my train of thought.
"You can't what? Love me? I think you already do."
I shook my head. No. No way. Hel naw.
He pressed me into a closet door.
"Don't lie to me. Don't ever lie to me." He kissed me so hard it hurt, but it hurt so damn good. "Tel me you love me," he whispered.
I shook my head. I couldn't breathe. My heart was in my throat and it was beating faster than I thought possible.
"Stop shaking your head. You love me, I know you do."
"I have to leave," I managed.
"No, you don't, but if you tel me you love me, I'l let you go."
"Sex does not equal love."
"I know that, but I loved you before I ever touched you."
I stared at him with my mouth open. It felt like déja vu. Luke and I were wrapped in a similar scene not very long ago. What was with men
secretly carrying a flame for me?
I left my mouth open too long, because Kyle planted his mouth on mine. He kissed me for a long time, more tenderly this time. I kissed him
back, like a reflex.
"I love you," he said again, his face buried in my hair, and then I felt his mouth on my neck, gently kissing where he had marked me.
I involuntarily moaned, but with al of the strength I had, I shoved him away from me. I felt tears burning in my eyes and did the best I could to
blink them back.
I was sure I loved Luke. The problem was I was also sure I loved Kyle.
"I love Luke," I said weakly.
"Yeah. And I love Jessyca," he took a step closer. "But I can't help how I feel about you. I love you, Emmy. You love me, too or you wouldn't be
crying."
"I'm not crying!" I wiped at my eyes.
"Just say it."
I hastily pushed past him to the front door.
"I have to go," I said and slammed the door behind me.
I marched down the hal and took the elevator al the way down and almost got to my car before I realized I didn't have my bag, therefore, I didn't
have my keys or wal et.
"Fuck!" I stomped my foot and went back inside.
Kyle opened the door before I could knock or hit the bel . He had a stupid grin on his face as he held my pocketbook up in one hand.
"It's not funny," I said, snatching the bag from his hand.
"It would have real y been a great exit if you didn't forget your purse," he said. "I tried to look through it, but you have way too much shit in there."
"I feel violated."
"Like you didn't look through my wal et."
"Why do you have the name and address of the bar in your wal et?" I blurted out.
"I told you, I loved you for a while."
"That's not an answer."
"Why don't you at least come inside?" He stepped aside so I could get in.
I looked at him with suspicion.
"Chicken."
"I am not chicken." I stormed inside.
"Want a drink?" He asked, walking past me towards the kitchen.
"No."
"How about a bottle of water?"
"Okay." I accepted the water while he cracked open a beer. "Now, answer my question."
"What did you want to know?"
"Why do you have that address?"
"Oh, the bar. So I could punch it into my GPS."
"Why?"
"So I could find it. I thought you were smart."
I smacked his elbow just as he was lifting the beer to his lips. Beer spil ed down his bare chest. He looked down his chest and when he looked
up again he was grinning.
"Two of your favorite things. Me and beer. Wanna lick it off?"
"Why did you want to find the bar?"
"Because I wanted to see it."
"Stop being elusive!" I smacked him again.
"Emmy, you were going to be working directly under me, handling my professional and personal business. You have access to everything I
have access to. I needed to know who you real y were."
"Wait," I held up a hand. "You were 'interested' in me before I started working for you?"
"Professional y, yeah. Everything else soon fol owed."
"So, why did you suddenly appear at the bar that night if you had known about it for so long?"
"I was very mean to you that day, and I wanted to come apologize."
"You were very mean every day," I pointed out. "Al of the time."