“I’ll be sure to tell you the same the next time I see your eyes attached to my chest,” she fires back, breathing somewhat erratically. Fuck, I love the effect I have on her.
“Just take the damn shirt, please. I’m warm, babe, feel.” I insist. She shakes her head and crosses her arms. I step to her and pull her arms apart. I take her hands and place one on my pec, just over my pounding heart, and the other over the bumps in my stomach. “See, hot,” I assure her, running my hands up both of her arms. I feel her goose bumps rise as my fingers travel along her skin.
“Shit, I am too...now.”
I bend down and capture her mouth, kissing her deeply. “Let’s eat,” I say.
She bites onto my bottom lip. “Food?” She releases my lip and claims my mouth with hers once again.
“You’re going to stop with all the fucking teasing. You hear me?” I bend down and pick her up by her ass. Thank God, Kyle and Lucille are away for the night. I don’t have to be on edge with the possibility of being caught and getting kicked out.
“
Ummm,” she moans, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. I walk her over and lay her on top of the blanket. As she moans into my mouth, I glide my hand gently up her side, sliding my hands under her poor excuse of a shirt.
Her body shivers at my touch. I glide my hand higher and feel her nipple harden through her cotton sports bra, causing my cock to become as hard as stone. Fuck this! I need to feel the warmth of her skin, squeeze her hard-as-a-rock nipple. I bring my hand to the band of her bra and push it up, taking her tit into my hand. I break our kiss and use my mouth to attack her neck. She tosses her head back to elongate her neck, providing me with as much access to it as possible. I use my tongue and trace her collarbone. I suck and kiss her neck as she tilts her pussy into my hardened cock.
Using my thumb and index finger, I roll and pinch her nipple. Allie’s arms leave my neck. Her hands reach between us as she unbuttons my jeans. Yes! This is happening, finally. She slips her hand inside of my boxers and grips my shaft. She squeezes tight and begins to stroke me as I continue to caress her neck with my tongue.
“Holy fuck! Oh my God!” she screams, pushing me off her.
My heart feels like it’s just exploded; pieces of it lodging into my throat. “What? What’s wrong?” I examine her, but see nothing abnormal.
“Shit!
Ewww! Get it, Wyatt!” she yells frantically.
I look around us trying to find out why the hell she’s freaking out. “Get what,
babe? I don’t see anything.” Her entire body shakes and she jogs on the spot as she points to the ground.
“Fucking,
ewww! It’s right there! Oh my God, just get it.” I follow her finger with my eyes and catch a glimpse of a fast moving granddaddy longlegs spider.
“That?” I ask, laughing and pointing to the most harmless spider on Earth. “Yes,” she nods.
I bend down and pick the spider up by one of its legs. I’ve always believed that if you kill them, bad luck will come your way, and that’s something I do not need following me around. I walk across the yard and place it onto the trunk of a tree. I walk back to a now
,
very calm and gorgeous lady. She’s sitting on top of the blanket with her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs; her face glows as the fire flickers before her.
“See how much I love you, babe? I seriously just picked up the most poisonous spider for you. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
She puckers her lips “Um hum, good try. I may be scared of them, but I’m not stupid. I know their mouths are too small to bite.”
Smartass.
“Then why’d you freak out? You went ape-shit crazy. I would’ve thought a tarantula was crawling up your leg.” She lifts the covers as I walk to her. I climb under beside her and drape my arm across her shoulder.
“They freak me out. Their legs are like thin threads, tickling my arm in all the wrong ways. They’re fast, sneaky, and just fucking gross.” She crinkles her nose in disgust. I just smile and rest my head on top of hers.
I reach back and adjust the pillows behind us, and then lie back, pulling her with me. Allie turns on her side and snuggles into my side, her head resting just beneath my chin. Her hand settles on my chest, and she uses the tip of her index finger to draw shapes and patterns around my heart. “The sky is beautiful, don’t you think?”
Actually, I haven’t taken my eyes off her since we came out here, so I wouldn’t know. “Mesmerizing, just like you.” As we lie here on our backs
,
entwined in one another, she star gazes as I run my fingertips up and down her spine. My eyes remain fixated on her, watching her back rise and fall as she breathes.
I’ve never hated the future as much as I do at this very moment. The future is my enemy, yet still my best friend. My departure is coming faster than I’d like. I don’t like it at all, actually. Yet, the future is the only thing I have to look forward to, a future of coming home to her, if she’ll take me back. She’s going to feel betrayed, abandoned. But time heals all wounds, right?
Eight
Commit Her to Memory
“WYATT, WAKE UP.” Allie whispers, gliding her hand along the side of my face. We must have fallen asleep pointing out shapes the stars made; well, that she pointed out. I just watched her the entire time. “Wyatt! Look!” I open my eyes and follow her hand that’s pointing up to the sky. “See it? It’s a shooting star. Make a wish,” she instructs.
“
Wha-” Her hands cover my mouth.
“Shh, just close your eyes and make a wish.”
I close my eyes and do as she instructs. I don’t have to think about what to wish for; it’s the same prayer I’ve said over and over again, since I signed my life away. I just pray to come home safely and for her to accept me back with open arms.
“You do it?” she asks.
“Yeah. You?”
She gazes back to the sky “No.” I roll to my side and position us so that our fronts rest against each other’s.
“What? Why not?”
She looks at me bemused, as if she can’t believe I’ve asked her this question
s
. “Are you serious?” I nod. “You can’t make more than one wish on a shooting star; they won’t come true. Everyone knows that.”
I place my palm to the side of her face and trace her mouth with my thumb. “Not true, babe. People from all across the country can see the same star that you can. I’m sure there were several people that wished on the same star I just did. So go on, close those beautiful eyes of yours and make a wish,” I urge.
She rolls her eyes at me before closing them. She crinkles her nose as she wishes, making the cutest damn face I’ve ever seen. I chuckle as I watch her, and my chuckling breaks her thoughts. “What’s so funny?” she glares. I shake my head and smile. “Get it out,” she demands, pushing my shoulders back. I lie back and she positions herself on top of me. Her knees straddle both sides of my waist. Her hair, which was pulled up earlier, has made its way loose and is covering the sides of my face as her eyes examine me.
“Nothing, baby. I just love the way you still believe in wishing upon shooting stars, that’s all,” I say, gently massaging the outsides of her thighs. She turns her head slightly and furrows her brows, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” she asks.
“With all that you’ve been through this past year, I’m surprised you still believe in wishing. You lost your dad, and pretty much your mom. Lucille works so much she’s practically nonexistent to you. And then Kyle’s new found passion to become a Marine...baby, you’re the strongest person I know.” I tug on her chin gently to pull her to me. I lean my head up half way and bring my lips to hers. “This is why, from here on out, I’m calling you my butterfly,” I speak softly against her lips.
She puckers her lips and kisses me gently. “I love you, but you’re corny.” She runs one of her hands through my hair and kisses me once again.
“Yeah, but you love me and all my corniness,” I say between kisses.
She nods, and I feel her smile against my mouth. “This is true,” she confirms.
She breaks our kiss and pulls her head back slightly. I try to reach my face higher to her, attempting to reconnect our lips, but she pulls back a little further. She sits up, just on top of my pelvis and uses her hand to flip her hair back behind her shoulder. “Why butterfly? What about me reminds you of a freaking butterfly?” I place my hands to the ground behind me and push myself up, making sure she remains in position on top of me.
I lean back and rest my weight on my hands. “Butterflies are miraculous, just like you. They’re one of the smallest insects on the planet, creeping along and struggling to survive. They’re fighters, and they don’t give up. They hide away in their cocoon; shut themselves off from the world, much like you did after Phil’s death. They stay cooped up and fight to become who they’re meant to be, but it isn’t an easy process. They struggle with identity. Are they to hatch and become a moth or a colorful, beautiful, floating butterfly?
“You could have easily sat in your room, cried or starved yourself to death, but you chose to suck up your pain and rise above it. You chose to fight. You came to terms with death, loss, and depression. You swallowed it down and got over it. Transforming into this beautiful and graceful woman, who will do anything for anyone. A woman who loves with all her body, mind, and soul. A woman that I can’t wait to make my wife someday.” I lean up and place my lips against her forehead. “My beautiful and feisty butterfly,” I add, kissing her forehead.
I lean back slightly so that I can look her into her eyes. They glisten in the moonlight as she swipes away an escaping tear. “Wyatt, you’re the corniest person I’ve ever met, besides me,” she sniffs, smiling as I pull her to me.
“Like I said, you love it.” I roll her to the side of me so that her back is flat on the ground. “You know how strong my love is for you, don’t you?” I ask. And no, I shouldn’t start being all sentimental and shit, but life’s short, and I need to know that she understands just how much I love her.
She raises her brow. “What? Yes.”
I swallow hard in an attempt to keep tears from coming to the surface. She notices my reaction and looks at me with a face filled with concern. Taking my face between her hands, she pulls me down to hers
.
“Wyatt, why would you ask me that? What’s going on?” she asks, her voice a slightly strangled whisper.
I shake my head, but remain silent. She pulls my face closer to her so that my forehead rests against hers; she then slides her hands down to the sides of my neck. “Tell me, please,” she begs.
I suck in a deep breath before speaking, “Nothing, butterfly. You and I both know that we aren’t promised a tomorrow, and if anything were to happen to me, and I wasn’t able to tell you just how much I love you...I want to be positive that I’ve shown you all the love I have for you. I don’t want you to have a doubt in your mind that you own my heart. You’re the only one for me,” I explain.
She nods in response. Her eyes search my face as her teeth latch onto her bottom lip, biting it as if she’s nervous. “I’ve never questioned your love for me. I know that you love me, Wyatt. No question about it.” Her hands massage the sides of my neck as she speaks. I avert my eyes to the sky, silently thanking God she’s never doubted my love for her. Also asking him to remind her every day that I’m away, that my love for her will never fade, and I hope hers doesn’t either.
“Hey, look at me. Tell me what’s really going through that head of yours,” she urges, taking one of her hands to run her fingers through my hair. I can’t answer her. My words will be choked, and then she’ll really be on edge thinking that I’m hiding something. Which I am, but she doesn’t need to know that now. I kiss her once more and push myself up away from her.
I grab some wood and throw it on top of the fire that’s almost out. As I bend down to poke the wood around, Allie’s cool arms wrap around me from behind. She presses the side of her face against my back. “Look, I know something’s bothering you. You should just tell me.
You’ll feel better. Your body is tense; your eyes are glossy, and you’re asking strange questions. I’m a little worried,” she expresses.
When the fire’s blazing again, I drop the fire poker to the ground and place my hands on top of hers. I caress her fingers with mine. I can’t tell her the real reason I’m acting strange, so I tell her something that’s not necessarily a lie, but not exactly the truth either. “My mom and dad moved, without telling me. I went to see them the other day, just to check on Mom,” I lie. “The house is empty, and there’s a “for sale” sign posted in the front yard,” I add.
Her arms tighten around me. “I’m so sorry, Wyatt.”
Why the fuck would she apologize for them? I turn in her arms and pull her head into my chest. “No, don’t apologize for them. I’m fine. I just wanted to make sure my mom was still alive; that’s all. I don’t need them. All I need is you. You’re all I need in this life.” I kiss the top of her head as she nods. She’s all I need, yet I’m losing her in less than a day. What the fuck did I do to myself? How can I do this to her? To us? Fuck.
***
I lie here on my back with my butterfly’s legs tangled in mine. Her arms are pressed into my side, and her head’s resting on my shoulder. The sun is beginning to rise, breaking beautifully through the clouds. This is the first time I’ve taken my eyes off her. I didn’t close my eyes one time after she woke me up. I refused to let sleep consume me. I watched her as she slept in my arms. I watched her facial expressions change as she dreamed. I held her tight as she snuggled closer and closer into me. I ran my fingers through her hair and showered her head with feather-like kisses, remembering that this is the last time I’ll have the chance to savor her.
Allie stirs in my arms as the sun breaks through the clouds. “Morning, butterfly,” I greet, squeezing her tighter.
“Umm,
mornin’,” she moans, stretching her legs. She cocks her head up so she can look to me. I lean up to kiss her, but she cups her hand over my mouth and shakes her head. “Uh, no.” I’m taken aback by her refusal. I scrunch my brows and eye her curiously. “It’s not you. It’s your breath. Morning breath is not attractive,” she explains.
“Well, I haven’t been to sleep. So technically, I don’t have morning breath.” I lean up and kiss her quickly.
She slaps my shoulder, and then pushes herself to her feet. “Eww, just gross,” she crinkles her nose and stomps off towards the deck.
“
Pffft, there is nothing gross on this, baby,” I say, standing up and motioning up and down my body.
She snaps her head back to look at me. “Maybe not on the outside, but everyone’s breath stinks in the morning. Bad breath is inevitable, and you have it. Nasty.” She makes her way up the steps and disappears into the house.
I stay behind to gather up the sleeping bags and things I pulled out to the backyard last night. I make my way into the house and place them back in the basement where they belong. I need to freshen up for Kyle’s party. Lucille invited a few of our friends over to hang out so they could say goodbye to Kyle, but little do they know, they’re saying goodbye to me as well.
***
I hear something crash to the floor as I climb the steps and emerge into the kitchen. “Wyatt, can you reach up here and get the punch bowl?” Lucille asks, stretching as high as she can to the top cabinet. Several pots and pans lay on the floor around her feet.
“Yes, ma’am.” I go over, lift my arm up, and grab the bowl effortlessly. “Anything I can help with?” I ask as she takes the bowl from my hand.
She places the bowl onto the island and taps her foot as she thinks. “Umm, nothing that I can think of.” I nod and turn to leave the kitchen. “Wait. Hold on just a second,” she calls behind me. I turn around and await her instructions. She walks over to the refrigerator and rummages through the freezer. “Would you mind running to the store to grab some sherbet for the punch? Gah! How could I forget the most important part of the party?” she asks herself. She slams the freezer door shut just before I’m able to respond. She turns around and drops her head, covering her face with her hands.
“You okay?” I ask, worried.
Without looking up, she shakes her head from side to side. “No,” she mumbles into her hands. Her shoulders bounce slightly as she begins to cry.
I walk over to where she’s standing and wrap my arms around her. Is this awkward for me? Not at all. She’s my second mother, and has been the past four or so years. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen her cry. After Phil died, on the nights she didn’t work, I would hear her
downstairs sobbing. Sobs for her deceased love, crying from pure exhaustion, crying just because she felt bad from working so much and missing her children.
“Is there anything I can do?” I ask, attempting to console her.
“Not unless you can prevent Kyle from leaving,” she replies. I toss my head back and close my eyes, praying for a way out of this mess. I wish she knew how badly I wanted to stop us from leaving, but it’s too late. She pulls her hands away from her face and I break our hug.
“Wish I could,” I shrug.
The corners of her lips twitch slightly. “I know you do. But hey, I still have you here to keep us company. Allie and I will really need you to keep our mind off Kyle while he’s away,” she smiles, wiping her face dry with her apron.
Fuck a duck. Her words are like a bullet to my heart. Every organ inside of me
feels as if they’re contracting, causing pain to radiate through my entire body. I cringe in pain and my breath catches within my throat. But I’ll be damned if I show my pain in front of anyone. I just need to get out for a minute. I plaster on a smile as I try to catch my breath. I nod and turn around to pick up my keys from the kitchen table, and then I head for the door.
I need air.
My throat feels tight. It feels as if someone is placing a pillow over my face and is suffocating me.
I open the door, and as soon as my feet hit the concrete and the door is shut, I bend over and place my hands on my knees. I lift my head and attempt to inhale some fresh air through my nose, but I can’t capture enough.
I’m beginning to hyperventilate.
I feel my heart beating inside of my throat, and I’m becoming lightheaded. I squat down and sit with my back against the brick wall. I pull my knees up to my chest and drop my head, and I continue to focus on breathing. After about five deep breaths, I’m able to stand, but my breathing still isn’t stable.