All New Letters From a Nut (45 page)

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1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

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TREASURE ISLAND HOTEL & CASINO
3300 S. Las Vegas Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89109

Dec 26, 2009

DEAR Treasure Island Hotel & Casino,

I am interested in buying tickets for your show:

“LEAVE GARY’S FEET OUT OF THIS!”

This is the afternoon provocative revue that has played at the Kazumbas Indian Casino for 120 weeks and now i understand you are presenting it. Wonderful! It stars Kaka Kardashian and David Carradine.

4 tickets please for the Feb 22, 2010 show.

I also would need 3 rooms for that period. How much? Is there a show-room rate?

Treasure island is a wonderful Las vegas hotel. I have eaten at your Kahunaville Restaurant to complete satisfaction. Your Calypso Calamari is UNBELIEVABLE!. Granny loves it and she hates octopus, squid and 8 legged sea creatures.

Also do you have a wedding chapel? I may marry Tayshon.

Thank you for your reply. I visit there many times and will continue to do so.

Sincerely,

F.D. Nancy

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Treasure Island Hotel & Casino
3300 S. Las Vegas Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89109

F.D. Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Jan. 7, 2010

Thank you for your letter inquiring about Treasure Island in Las Vegas.

Treasure Island has been the home to Cirque Du Soleil’s MYSTERE show for the past 16 years, and will be delighting audiences for years to come. Unfortunately, we are not hosting a show called, “LEAVE GARY’S FEET OUT OF THIS!” We do not have any information as to when or where this is playing. As for room rates, we can give you the most current and up-to-date pricing over the phone at 1–800–944–7444 or by visiting our website at
www.treasureisland.com
.

Thank you for being a loyal guest to our hotel, and we look forward to seeing you again. There are many new and exciting things going on at our property and welcome you to give us a call for more information at 1–800–944–7444

Best Regards,
       Dan Malo
       Treasure Island Guest Relations

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1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Dan Malo, Guest Relations
TREASURE ISLAND HOTEL & CASINO
3300 S. Las Vegas Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89109

Jan 30, 2010

Dear Guest Relations.

Thank you for writing me with Play information i thought I had. I was mistaken as to the name of the play. It is called:

“LET GO OF GARY’S TOES”

I was completely turned around and got my information wrong. Also. I am NOT a diamond gold preferred silver anniversary member. I am a Platinum gold sodium member with Silver Chai copper inlay privileges, not zinc.

This play is definitely at your hotel, Treasure Island, in Las Vegas. Probably the nicest place I ever stayed, ate, fell asleep, and gambled at. And that includes the Mayoyo Indian Casino in Panyani. You should be proud of this hotel & Casino. I am.

The play is running March 22, 2010, not February 22 and it stars Ozzie Nelson & Tito Peunte.

Can you let me know anything?

Sincerely,

F.D. Nancy

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560 N. Moorpark Rd. Apt #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Special Promotions
ARMOUR FRESH MEATS
PO Box 470
Nampa, ID 83561

Dear Armour Meats:

I want to take a 59 foot bolonga by 22 foot bolonga on the plane with me. Can you make? Will it fit in the overhead bin? (I still have my luggage too)

This is for my Bologna Club. I need this bologna to arrive in one piece. Southwest Fun Jet C Group Boarding.

I can’t put it in baggage. I think a hot bologna in a hot plane in the hot sun is not such a good idea. Huh?

Hey, what time is it there in Nampa? It’s 3 o’clock here. Please let me know how much this special order boloney is. I have my own roll. (poppyseed)

Sincerely,

Meat Chair Committee

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