All New Letters From a Nut (47 page)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

September 14, 1999

Mr. Ted L. Nancy
560 No. Moorpark Rd.
Apt #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Dear Mr. Nancy,

Thank you for contacting Jimmy Dean expressing your satisfaction with Jimmy Dean Tastefuls. Your kind comments let us know that our continued efforts are appreciated. I am sorry to inform you that the Jimmy Dean Tastefuls! have been discontinued and we do not have a product called Jimmy Dean’s In Between’s. If you do find a product like this please send us the wrapper so we can check this product out.

From the beginning we have worked very hard to make the very best products possible. We buy only the best ingredients and prepare them carefully. Our goal is to produce a fresh, wholesome product that pleases you and your family.

In this hurried world we often forget the importance of a simple thank you. Please believe us when we say we are most thankful for customers such as you. Please accept the enclosed coupon for your next purchase of any Jimmy Dean brand product while we continue our efforts to provide you with products of the quality you expect.

Full text of the above letter to follow.

1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Customer Service Dept.
JIMMY DEAN SAUSAGES
c/o Sara Lee Consumer Affairs
P.O. Box 756
Neenah, WI 54957–0756

26 Apr 2009

Dear Jimmy Dean Meat Co.,

I wrote to you in 1999 and you sent me a coupon for some Jimmy Dean Sausage Biscuits. (It’s me, Ted L. Nancy. Sometimes i go by Fred or F.D.) I just got around to eating these biscuits (after picking them up in March 2000) Wow did I NOT feel good. I had some Jimmy Dean Trots. I sat on the Big Bad John. Woowee!

Is this OK? I am fine now. I had a wash cloth on my head for a week. (took it off at work but then put it back on again at night)

i looked on the internet and they say frozen food can stay for years. They use it in space. That’s why I ate these sausage biscuits. I have no problems. I just want to know how long this stuff really stays.

Thank you. I look forward to my reply.

Sincerely,

F.D. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Sara Lee Consumer Affairs
P O Box 756
Neenah, WI 54957

Bakery   1.800.323.7117

Foodservice   1.800.261.4754

Meats   1.800.328.2426

Senseo   1.866.473.6736

May 4, 2009

M/M F D Nancy
1413 1/2 W KENNETH RD # 193
GLENDALE, CA 91201–1478

Dear M/M Nancy:

Thank you for contacting Sara Lee® with your questions, comments. We guarantee our products to the expiration date on the package. We would not recommend consuming products that are past the date. Enclosed a complimentary coupons for you next Jimmy Dean purchase.

We truly value you as a customer and as always, we will continue to produce superior quality products that meet your expectations.

Sara Lee® Consumer Affairs

Enclosures:
JD99-(1)

ref. #2356007

Full text of the above letter to follow.

F. D. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Customer Service Dept.
JIMMY DEAN SAUSAGES
Sara Lee Consumer Affairs
P.O. Box 756
Neenah, WI 54957–0756

May 11, 2009

Dear Jimmy Dean Sausage People:

Thank you for the coupon for BREAKFAST BOWLS. I just ate a ton of the stuff and staggered to the mens room. My eyes flew around like pinwheels. Wowwowwow!

Hey! I just heard about new “JIMMY DEANS I CAN’T FIT INTO MY JEANS”. This is the lunch combination of Country gravy, Funyons, baking chocolate, hummus, creme de menthe. I need this. Now!

My question: Is anyone checking this stuff out over there? All these food combinations together? Any inspections going on i should now about? I mean they got to be from different places. I once heard of a fast food restaurant where a customer was eating and found an entire person in a baked potato. (he was missing a finger)

Jimmy Dean is my favorite freezer food. I stack ’em & pack ’em into me. Send me more coupons. I truly love this food.