Alone (21 page)

Roman settles back, and my heart pounds as my body screams at me to say something, to do something. I want Roman. So much.

“I don’t want to stop.” My voice almost gets lost in the crackling of the fire.

Roman raises an eyebrow. He seems so…uncertain. “I don’t want to push you, Jules. I want you to be sure.”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” I hold my breath as I wait for him to respond. Unease fills my stomach. What if he tells me he doesn’t want me after all?

He swallows, and his gaze becomes more intense than I’ve ever seen it.

This time when he kisses me, our lips become one. Fused together by the fire that burns inside me. Roman wraps me in his touch, his hands knowing no boundaries as they move in ways I’ve never imagined possible. He whispers my name, tells me how amazing I am. Caresses me with words while simultaneously caressing me with his body.

Just when I think I can’t take anymore he whispers, “I love you.”

I become a part of Roman, and I know that after today, neither one of us will ever be alone again.

I surface from my dream world slowly, only slightly aware of the shivers moving through me. The room is bright when I crack one eye, but my brain is fuzzy. Where is that chill coming from? Squeezing my eyes shut, I work to unclog my brain. Another shiver shakes my body, and it hits me. Sometime during the night our sleeping bag came unzipped and my leg is hanging out.

This time when I open my eyes, I focus on Roman’s peaceful face. A smile touches my lips, and a shiver moves up my spine as the memory of last night sweeps over me. I want to relive every second of it and never—

Something moist brushes my calf, and the hair on my arms stands on end. The stink of rot slams into me, and I bolt upright, my heart pounding in my ears and the room swirling around me so fast that it makes me dizzy. The putrid face of a zombie comes into view just in time for me to watch his teeth sink into my leg. Pain blasts through my body, and a scream rips its way out of me. Waves of agony course through my leg, but the real torture comes when my heart explodes.

Roman is up before I can make another noise. His eyes wide. He grabs for the knife he had so carefully placed by his head and lurches at the zombie. Together they collapse on the ground, Roman on top and the zombie beneath him. My body is frozen, and I can’t tear my eyes away from the struggle. My leg throbs, and when Roman grunts, my heart screams in response. He and the zombie seem to move in slow motion, the struggle dragging on and on until I’m sure this zombie will be the end of us both. Then, in a move so fast it makes my head spin, Roman flips the mass of rotten flesh over and slams the blade of his knife into its brain.

The zombie goes slack, and Roman rolls off him. He turns to face me, and every inch of his body is contorted with pain. Roman crawls across the floor, panting. Tears streaming down his cheeks. His hands shake when he touches the bite, and I wince. It burns. Just like the crack in my heart does.

“Jules.” His voice shakes, cracks, and then breaks into a million pieces.

When he can’t get anything else out, my sobs fill the silence.

Roman pulls me into his arms, and I try to make myself as small as possible. Try to sink into him. Try to be absorbed by his touch. It’s too late, though. A gorge has opened up between us. One that can never be repaired.

Roman kisses the tears on my cheeks and brushes the matted hair from my face, but neither one of us speaks. I try desperately to get my mouth to form words, but nothing will come out. It doesn’t matter. What is there to say? Everything that comes to mind just seems like it will make everything infinitely, enormously worse.

Roman pulls back suddenly, and his eyes are wide with misguided hope. “The cure!”

The idea of crushing his hope hurts more than the bite, but it has to be done. “The shipment was hijacked, Roman.”

He shakes his head and gets to his feet.

I stay where I am. Trying to fight off the growing panic as he dashes around the room. He pulls his own clothes on before tossing me my own, but I still don’t move. I just hold them in my lap. If only we could go back in time. I’d give anything to move the clock backward and relive last night. Even if I can’t change this moment, being able to experience it all one more time would ease my pain.

“We have to get to town!” Roman says when he sees me still sitting on the floor.

I shake my head as I slowly climb to my feet. My leg throbs, and a burning sensation that has started at the bite is now moving slowly upward. Is it the virus working its way through my body? How long until the lethargy starts? Will I know it’s coming?

Maybe I should just end things now
.

“What’s the point? What will they have in town that will help us?”

Roman rushes toward me. His hair is in his eyes, and for once he doesn’t bother flicking it out of his face. He grips my arms so hard that I wince, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too lost in his foolish hope. “They hijacked the shipment, Jules. I saw the boxes in Hank’s shop.”

Hope, that foolish feeling, flashes through me against my will. I can’t embrace it, though. Not yet.

“That was over a week ago,” I say as calmly as I can. Wanting to get through to him. “Would they still have it?

Roman’s mouth turns down, but only a second later he shakes his head and grabs my clothes out of my hands. “They had to have kept some. It would be stupid to get rid of it all.”

He helps me get dressed, apologizing whenever I wince or gasp as the fabric rubs against the bite. Jeans are torture, so Roman gently cuts away the leg. Even when it’s exposed to the cool air, the bite sizzles and aches.

I can’t look at it. I don’t want to see my fate.

Roman is ready to go as soon as my shoes are on, but I have to stop him. He isn’t thinking this through. He isn’t rational. “Roman, they’ll never let me in town.”

He shoves a hand through his hair as he exhales. “You’re right. You’ll have to wait here.”

“No! Roman, you have to take me back to Coastal Manor,” I plead. “I don’t want to be here alone. What if you don’t make it back? What if I’m sitting here by myself, waiting for you? I d-don’t w-want to t-turn. I can’t w-w-walk around l-like t-that.” I can barely get out the last sentence, but I need him to understand that it has to end
before
things get too far. That I need him to end it before I become trapped inside a monster.

Roman’s face crumples. His shoulders sag, and he squeezes his eyes shut like he’s trying to block out the truth. “That won’t happen. I’ll be right back.”

“No,” I say as firmly as I can muster. “Take me back.”

His eyes are still closed. “They’ll lock you up.”

“I know.”

Roman finally looks up, and when his gaze meets mine, it feels like I’ve been bitten all over again. “I can’t lose you.”

“Then you need to move fast,” I say, trying to sound like I believe there is hope even though there is none.

This is the end for me.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The Fight

I can’t breathe. This isn’t how it ends. I won’t allow it.

And I won’t allow Jules to be taken in by Rick.

“No. Rick’s a liar. He won’t wait until you turn—he’ll kill you.” My voice shakes so much that I’m not really sure it’s mine. It doesn’t sound like me.

Jules’s cheeks are stained with tears and her body trembling under my hands, but otherwise she’s calm. So much more in control than I am. “It’s okay. My father won’t let him. I’ll be fine.”

When my gaze moves to her leg, my heart swells so fast that it threatens to explode. Why couldn’t it have been me?

I inhale slowly while every possible scenario goes through my head. It takes less than two seconds, thinking about going to town to find the cure and what might happen, as well as mulling over how our reception will be if we return to Coastal Manor. There are a million possibilities, but one thing rings true: Jon Carmichael is the JO, and he won’t let Rick kill Jules. If he keeps an eye on his daughter, it will give me time to find the cure and save her.

“Okay.” This time, my voice comes out even. Almost lifeless.

I need to get Jules to safety, and then I can go for the vaccine.

She gives me a smile, her bottom lip quivering, and I grab at my chest when pain moves through me. I want to die. Inside, my heart is slowly breaking into a million pieces. Tears spring to my eyes, but I choke them back, forcing the pain down. I have to be strong. I’m the only hope Jules has right now.

“Let’s go. We don’t have a lot of time.”

How long it takes to turn varies from person to person, and has a lot to do with where the bite is located. The closer to the brain, the faster a person succumbs. That’s one thing that didn’t change when the virus mutated. What did change, though, is the fact that the victim turns
before
their heart actually stops beating, which typically takes twenty-four to forty-eight hours.

Since Jules’s bite is on her leg it gives me a little leeway, but not much. With as far away from her brain as it is, I’m guessing the transition time will take around forty hours.

Not much time, and we’ve wasted precious minutes crying. I should have fought sooner. Should have gotten her back to Coastal Manor faster.

The ride back will take ten minutes.

I drive faster than I ever have as behind me, Jules clings to my body. Her arms shake and her nails dig into my stomach. How can ten minutes drag so much? Jules is in pain. She’s running out of time. I have to get her back.

When the gate comes into view, I slow and almost smile. Almost. Luck is on our side. Clay is at the gate.

“What are you two doing back?” he calls when I stop. He steps closer so he can see us through the gate. “The JO is pissed. He’s been on a rampage since he found your note last night. You better—”

“Open the gate! She’s been bitten.” I want to jump off the bike and climb the fence so I can pound Clay in his stupid face. But Jules is holding me too tightly. She’s shaking.

I glanced over my shoulder to find her eyes closed and her face scrunched up. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, but not in the sexy way that makes me want to rip her clothes off. It’s like she’s trying not to scream.

“Roman, man, you know I can’t let you in. Your dad would—”

“This is the Judicial Officer’s daughter.” I turn my eyes on Clay. “He’ll make an exception or he’ll have to face the music.”

Clay curses and shakes his head, but he only hesitates for a second before unlocking the gate.

The second it’s open, I accelerate and speed down the street toward town hall. I can only hope that Jules’s father is in his office and not Rick. The last thing I have time for right now is a confrontation.

The streets are deserted, but there are two cars parked in front of town hall. One belongs to Rick, but the other is the JO’s. I drive into the front yard and practically jump off the bike, pulling Jules with me. She opens her eyes, and they swim with pain as she looks around, almost like she has no idea where we are. Has the lethargy set in already? It shouldn’t have. Not yet. The bite is so far from her brain.

“Can you walk?” I ask, hoping to bring her back to the present.

“I-I think so.”

She limps when she takes a step, so I put my arm around her waist for support. Her steps are unsteady, and there’s a clamminess about her skin that wasn’t there before. It’s so cool to the touch that it terrifies me. It’s like she’s dead already.

I manage to get her up the steps, but when I reach for the door, my hand shakes. Panic has started to set in. Shit. I can’t let it control me. I have to pull myself together and focus on my next move. I can’t afford to waste any more time.

Rick is in the foyer when I open the door.

He sneers my way, almost like he’s an animal. “Thought you two hit the road. Better climb back on that bike and get the hell out of here. I told you that if you ever left you shouldn’t bother coming back.”

I clench my fist so tight that it’s nearly impossible to help Jules into a chair.

“Where’s her dad?” I say, turning back to my own father, blocking Jules from view. I need her dad down here before Rick finds out what’s going on.

He leans against the wall like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Shit. It’s uncanny how much I look like him when he does that. The resemblance disappears the second Rick’s lips curl into a vicious smile, and I have the sudden, almost uncontrollable urge to beat the look off his face. I’ve seen that smile so many times that it haunt my dreams.

“In his office. He doesn’t want to see her, trust—”

“Mr. Carmichael!” I yell.

Rick’s arms fall to his side, and just like that, he’s off the wall and moving toward me, his eyes narrowed like he’s on the hunt. I scoot closer to Jules, keeping her out of his line of sight. I have his attention now.

“Back off,” I say through clenched teeth. “This has nothing to do with you.”

Rick clenches his jaw and tries to step around me, but I square my shoulders and block him. Our chests touch as we square off. Raised to my full height, the truth hits me hard: I’m taller than he is now. Bigger, even. Rick isn’t a young guy, he was almost forty when I was born, and the apocalypse has taken a toll on him. He’s turned into an old man prematurely.

I can take him, and if it comes down to it, I will.

Jules’s dad appears at the top of the steps, and I almost let out a sigh of relief. Just because I can beat the shit out of Rick doesn’t mean I have time to do. Not right now.

“You have a lot of nerve!” Jon charges down the stairs, and I finally step aside, allowing him a good look at his daughter. “After I let you off yesterday—” His mouth drops open for a split second before he manages to recover. “What happened?”

There it is, written in every line of his face as his eyes sweep over Jules crumpled frame. He cares about her. I knew he did.

“She was bitten.” The words come out as a whisper, and my limbs suddenly feel flimsy and useless.

The bite on Jules’s leg is bright red and shiny. Lines of red spread out from the wound under her skin as the infection flows through her veins, being carried to other parts of her body. Its main goal: her brain. Once there, it will erase everything she is and everything she could ever be. She will cease to exist, and then she’ll turn into a monster and die.

“Why’d you bring her here?” Rick yells. “You know the rules. You get bitten and you are on your own.”

“Shut up!” I growl, my eyes focused on Jon as he kneels in front of his daughter.

He looks utterly lost.

I kneel beside him and put my hand on his arm, ignoring it when he flinches. “I’m going for the vaccine. I know a place close by where they may have some. If not, I’ll head to Atlanta. I’m not giving up.”

“There isn’t time,” he mutters. “You’ll never make it before she turns, and even if you do they won’t let you in the city.”

“I have to try.”

He tears his eyes away from Jules so he can focus on me, and the pain swimming in his vision clouds everything else around us. “There isn’t a lot of time.”

“I know,” I say. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Jon turns his eyes back to Jules, and his mouth scrunches up like he’s thinking. “Maybe we can slow it down. The CDC has had some luck with slowing the spread of the infection by dropping the victim’s body temperature. It will buy us time, but it won’t stop it. Not completely.”

“We have to get her out of here!” Rick roars behind us.

I flinch, but before I can turn to face Rick, Jules’s father pulls himself to his feet. “The law says that we have to wait.”

“What’s the point?” Rick snarls. “We don’t have the vaccine and he’ll never get it in time. You should want to end it now. Save yourself the pain of seeing her turn!”

“The law was set in place for a reason.” The strong, steady government official returns, making Jon’s voice deep. Firm. “People can be immune to the bite.”

I scoop Jules into my arms so I can carry her to the back of the house. To the room. It’s never been used. It’s all for show. Before now, if someone got bitten, Rick took care of it himself. A bullet to the head is the quickest way to solve the problem, at least according to my father.

Jules winces when my arm brushes against the bite, and I whisper my apologies. Behind me, Jon and my father follow, but my focus is on Jules. Her eyes hold mine, clear and present but swimming with pain. Maybe she’ll be immune. Maybe all the worry will be for nothing.

“How do you feel?” I whisper.

“Tired.” She squeezes her eyes shut, opening them only a second later. “I’m not immune. I can feel the virus moving through me. It’s…It’s like everything is underwater. Moving in slow motion.”

The image of Jules as a zombie flashes through my mind, and my insides constrict. Maybe Rick is right. Maybe it would be better to end things. Letting her turn would be wrong when I know she doesn’t want that.

I can’t though. I’m much too selfish to let her go without a fight.