Read An Enormously English Monsoon Wedding Online

Authors: Christina Jones

Tags: #Fiction, #General

An Enormously English Monsoon Wedding (29 page)

Euuuueeeeew.

‘Good Lord, no – I wasn’t ever going to ask that. Oh, yuk – no way.’ Erin flapped her hands. ‘But please, don’t think Nalisha will stay here in the village after our wedding. Because she won’t. Not even for you. You’ve been warned. Bye.’

She stepped carefully over the doormat and into Nook Green’s solid, searing afternoon heat. From outside, the Indian window display, in its oriental golds and reds, looked wonderful. Erin stared delightedly at the wedding banner and gave a little jig of pure happiness.

Her wedding … Her marriage to Jay. Only days away …

Nothing or no one could spoil it now.

A minibus swerved off the little one-track road round the green and scrunched to a halt on the gravel outside the shop.

‘Oi, love,’ the driver said cheerily, leaning out of the window. ‘Is this the Old Curiosity Shop?’

‘That’s what it says.’ Erin smiled, indicating the sign over the door.

‘Great, ta, love.’ The driver turned his head. ‘Right ladies and gents. Here we have a lovely little rural antique shop. Typical English. All ye olde worlde stuff you could ever want. Out you get. You’ve got an hour or so … enjoy.’

The doors of the minibus opened and at least
a dozen rather elderly and very obviously American tourists poured out. And poured into the shop.

Erin laughed out loud. ‘Good luck with that lot, Uncle Doug.’

And she ran across the green towards Jay’s cottage, making sure that she avoided the place where Uncle Doug had released the spider.

Just in case …

Chapter Thirty-one

‘But I still can’t believe you left
him to deal with a whole busload of tourists on his own,’ Jay murmured, stroking Erin’s hair on the pillow. ‘That was very cruel. Especially as he’d just given you the rest of the day off, and also rescued you from the Biggest Spider in the Whole World.’

‘Don’t mock – you didn’t see it,’ Erin sighed, drowsy and ecstatically happy. She turned her head and kissed Jay’s naked shoulder. She loved the feel and scent of his skin. Loved every inch of him. ‘And he was just wishing for impromptu customers. And he adores Americans. They buy loads of things. He’ll be dead happy. He might even meet a Betty-Lou from Kansas or somewhere to replace Nalisha when she leaves for London.’

Jay laughed and kissed her.

Erin squinted at him. ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Yes. Anything you like. Except logarithms. Despite doing maths A level, I never did quite get the hang of them.’

Erin giggled. ‘Ah, well, there I have the edge on you. I understand logarithms totally.’

‘Not logarithms, then,’ Jay
sighed, ‘thank goodness. Go on then, ask.’

‘It’s just that now we’ve mentioned Nalisha …’

‘You’ve mentioned Nalisha.’

‘Yes, OK. Well, she told me something and it’s been bothering me, and I wasn’t going to ask you, but …’

Jay propped himself up on one elbow. ‘Why do I think I really don’t want to hear this?’

Erin rolled away from him, lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. ‘She said she would have married you if you’d asked her.’

Silence.

Oh God … Erin swallowed. ‘And she said she’d loved you.’

Still silence.

‘Jay?’ Erin turned her head.

Jay just stared at her. ‘And?’

Erin shrugged. It was a difficult thing to do lying down. ‘I just wondered if … well, if …?’

Jay still stared. ‘And you want an honest answer?’

‘Yes. Of course.’

Or, maybe not …

‘OK. Once upon a time – as all the best stories go – my parents and Nalisha’s parents thought we’d be the ideal match. I’m sure she’s told you that, too. And I asked Nalisha how she felt about it and she said she’d marry me if I asked her.’

Erin realised she’d been holding her breath. It escaped in a long sigh. So, it
was
true.

‘And,’ Jay continued, ‘she told me then that she loved me.’

Oh God – it was
all
true.

Erin closed her eyes. ‘And what did you say?’

‘Erin, look at me.’

‘No – just
tell me.’

‘Not until you look at me.’

She opened her eyes and turned her head. Oh God, he was gorgeous and she loved him so much, and even if he’d loved Nalisha once, he wasn’t marrying Nalisha, was he?

It didn’t help.

Jay smiled gently. ‘I told her I loved her too.’

Oh God … Erin sighed.

‘And that I’d marry her if she gave me all her samosas.’


What?

Jay laughed. ‘We were at my Aunt Ganika’s birthday party. We were eight years old.’


What?

Jay laughed again. ‘True. And she said she wanted all the samosas to herself and broke my heart. And we’ve never, ever mentioned marriage or love again. Because I love her like a sister, and like her as a friend. We know each other far too well to ever want to move into a different sort of relationship.’

Erin blinked at him. ‘Is that honestly true?’

‘Cross my heart.’

‘So why didn’t she tell me that you were just
kids
?’

‘I have no idea. She probably thought it was funny. I can see, from your point of view, that it wasn’t.’ He pulled her towards him. ‘You’ll have to ask her yourself.’

‘Oh, I will,’ Erin said happily, wanting to laugh and scream and kiss the sky. ‘Just as soon as I get up and get dressed and find her. But not yet –’ she rolled even closer to him on the rumpled sheets, running her fingers over his gorgeous body ‘– as this is going to be the last time …’

‘What?’ Jay jerked his head away and stared at her. ‘You mean? Us? In bed?’

‘Yep. Until
after we’re married.’

‘Phew,’ Jay exhaled. ‘I thought you were going to tell me something I really didn’t want to hear. But why?’

‘Because, darling, after today we’ll both be heavily parented, won’t we? There’s no way I’ll be able to escape my mum and dad – or yours – and sneak away like this.’

‘No, I suppose not. Sod it. How the hell are we going to manage until our wedding night?’

‘If you remember, we weren’t going to be doing this at all for the six weeks before the wedding, were we?’

‘No. But that was just silly. We both knew that wouldn’t last.’

‘Mmmm. But now we really will have to exercise massive restraint for the next ten days.’ Erin giggled. ‘Or longer, because everyone I know says they never managed to have sex on their wedding night because they were too exhausted. And the next night we’ll still be on the plane on the way to our honeymoon. Blimey – that’s ages of celibacy, isn’t it?’

‘Easy then.’ Jay grinned at her. ‘We’ll just have to join the mile-high club, won’t we?’

‘Oooh, yes, or maybe no …’

‘Which means –’ Jay ran his fingers across her ribcage ‘– we ought to make the most of what little time we have left.’

‘Jay!’ The voice rang up the stairs. ‘Jaimal! Are you in, darling?’

‘Ohmigod.’ Erin sat up, blinking the sleep from her eyes. ‘Jay … Jay, wake up! We must’ve dozed off. It’s your mum! She’s here!’

‘What? She can’t be. Where?’ Jay shook his head and peered drowsily at her through his devastatingly long eyelashes.

‘She is. And here,’ Erin hissed, scrambling for her clothes and not finding them. ‘In the cottage. Downstairs.’

‘Shit!’ Jay rolled
off the bed, staggering into the bedside cabinet. ‘Ouch. Where the hell are my clothes?’

‘With mine,’ Erin muttered, remembering. ‘On the stairs.’

Oh bugger.

‘Jaimal?’ Deena’s voice was closer now. ‘Why is all your laundry on the staircase, darling? You were never this messy when you lived at home. Are you decent?’

She knocked lightly on the bedroom door.

‘No … yes … not really … Don’t come in!’ Jay muttered, stumbling as he wrapped himself in his hastily grabbed bathrobe.

‘Don’t be silly. I’ve seen it all before, darling. Have you been in the shower?’

About the only place they hadn’t been, Erin thought, trying to hide beneath a corner of the sheet.

‘I can’t say I blame you on a scorching day like this.’ Deena pushed the door open. ‘I’ve just seen darling Nalisha in the village – what a lovely surprise that was! – and she said she thought you were here and – oh.’

‘Hello,’ Erin said brightly.

Deena just gaped.

‘And this is another lovely surprise.’ Jay’s smile was a rictus. ‘We weren’t expecting you until this evening.’

‘I don’t think you were expecting me at all.’ Deena sniffed. ‘I’ll go and wait downstairs, shall I?’

‘What a good idea,’ Erin said, trying not to giggle. ‘And I’ll make us all some tea.’

Tea. The cure-all. Even for being walked in on by your future mother-in-law.

‘Once you’re dressed, Erin, that would be lovely. Thank you. I’ll see you both downstairs.’

She shut the door.

‘Oh shit, shit, shit.’ Erin
giggled, threw off the sheet and padded to the door. ‘I’d better go on a clothes hunt.’

Jay shook his head. ‘If we’d had a little longer we might have managed to find something in the wardrobe. Oh God, I’m never going to be able to look at her again without laughing.’

‘I’m never going to be able to look at her again full stop,’ Erin muttered. ‘How embarrassing was that?’

‘One good thing,’ Jay said, looking at the bedside clock, ‘we won’t have long enough to sit in uncomfortable silence over the polite cup of tea. We’ve got to be leaving for Heathrow in about half an hour.’

‘Really? Wow. Just as well she woke us up then.’

‘Yes,’ Jay said, nodding, ‘although I’d have much preferred the alarm clock. And, Erin, please get some clothes on before I drag you back to bed.’

Chapter Thirty-two

Heathrow was very crowded and
exciting. Erin and Jay mingled with all the other hordes of people at the arrivals gate, and Erin secretly wished they had a placard to hold up like all those rather intense men pressed up against the barriers.

‘At least we’ll be greeting your parents fully dressed,’ Jay whispered. ‘So there’s a bonus.’

Erin, still on a complete high, laughed and curled her arms round his waist.

It had been excruciatingly awkward, kicking their heels in Jay’s tiny living room, while Deena sipped her hastily made cup of tea, exchanging very brief polite pleasantries with someone who’d not only just seen you stark naked but who also
knew what you’d been doing
.

It had been a massive relief to escape.

‘Oh goodness, why don’t they hurry up?’ Erin jigged up and down impatiently. ‘Their plane landed ages and ages ago.’

‘They’ve got to get their luggage unloaded and then from the carousel and go through passport control and there must be hundreds of passengers on the plane,’ Jay said reasonably. ‘They won’t be long. See, there are some people coming through now.’

The first trickle of passengers
from the Sydney plane had started to filter through, appearing from the passageway, pushing loaded trollies or hauling wheeled suitcases. Several people ran forwards from the waiting crowd with cries of delight.

‘Oooh, come on!’ Erin muttered. ‘Come on!’

Jay kissed her.

Children ran shrieking happily into fathers’ arms; friends screamed greetings of recognition; parted lovers were romantically reunited; business colleagues greeted one another enthusiastically.

Then …

‘There they are!’ Erin shrieked, shoving her way through the crowd. ‘I can see them! That’s my mum in the beige … oh, and yellow and that sort of washed-out mustard colour, and look how much luggage she’s got – oh and she’s carrying a massive hatbox!’

Jay, who’d met her parents once before, laughed. ‘And there’s your dad with another high-piled trolley, still looking nothing at all like Doug. You’d never think they were brothers, would you?’

Erin shook with impatience as people insisted on getting in her way, but eventually she managed to force her way through and hurled herself into her mum’s arms.

Then they both burst into tears.

Then Erin hugged and hugged her dad and cried some more.

After several minutes of totally incoherent babbling and hugging and kissing all round, and Jay kissing her mum and shaking hands with her dad, and more kissing, and no one actually wanting to let go of anyone else, they staggered towards the exit.

‘I’ve managed to park
reasonably close,’ Jay said. ‘Just across the road here. Let me help you with some of this stuff.’

‘If you could lose the damn hatbox before we get to the car,’ Pete Boswell chuckled, ‘it’ll do us all a favour.’

Rose and Erin talked all the time. At the same time. And kept looking at one another as if they simply couldn’t believe it.

‘Oh, this is so exciting!’ Rose beamed up at Jay. ‘Your wedding at last. It’s just so wonderful to be here. I can’t wait to see Nook Green. Has it changed?’

‘Not at all,’ Erin said. ‘Well, there are a few of Jay’s relatives there already for the wedding, and they’re all dying to meet you, especially Jay’s mum. His dad will be down in a few days’ time too, but otherwise, no. Everything’s just as you left it. Oh, Mum, I’ve missed you so much.’

They hugged again as they reached the car, and Jay and Pete started on the tricky job of loading all the luggage into every available space.

‘And is my reprobate brother still playing the field?’ Pete asked.

‘Yes. Sadly. The state of play’s exactly as it was last time we Skyped.’ Erin pulled a face. ‘He’s still got the hots for the lovely Nalisha, who as I’ve said, is going to leave him high and dry. And he’d be so much happier with Gina. Maybe you could talk some sense into him, Dad?’

‘Me? No way. I gave up doing that when he was fifteen,’ Pete Boswell chuckled. ‘And he didn’t listen to me then, so forty-odd years on I don’t think he’s going to start now.’

Jay laughed.

‘And
he’s
even more lovely and handsome than I remember.’ Rose smiled, watching Jay hauling cases from their trolley. ‘You’re a very lucky girl, Erin.’

‘I know.’ Erin giggled. ‘But he’s lucky too. Or so he keeps telling me.’

Rose sighed
happily. ‘Oh, you honestly do make a fabulous couple. I’m so happy for you both. And everything’s gone to plan, has it? No hitches with the wedding? I know you’ve told us things on Skype, but you may have been holding something back.’

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