Annabella's Oblivion (Hard World Tour #1) (10 page)

“
Sobriety coach? What does that mean?”

“
It means I’ll be there with you every step of the way, making sure you’re on the right track, and always helping you out.” She didn’t like this information---not one bit.

“
Why you?” she asked. I knew this question was coming. She wasn’t the only one who was curious about it. The whole team and her gang were against it. They didn’t see how I, of all people, could help her. I didn’t have the certification, but I had studied the subject enough to know what I was doing. She needed someone who knew her well, and that person would be me. I couldn’t give her that answer though, so I gave her the one everyone else.

“
As I said, I’m friends with Jeremy and I have experience with this. Let’s just say it’s a favor I’m paying him back for.” She liked that even less.

“
So I’m a charity case?”

“
Hardly. Don’t worry, I take good money for what I do.” That wasn’t the truth, but close.

I took the money from Jer because he wouldn’t have it any other way, but I wouldn’t use it for myself. I had enough. I gave it all to a foundation for education. There were always kids out there who could shine brighter if they were given help.

I used to be one of those kids.

“
Good for you, I guess.” She quickly stood up. “I’ll go do. . . something.” With those words, she left the room, and I exhaled a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding in.

It was hard to love a woman who didn’t love you, but I was a master at it.

She thought she was a charity case and didn’t like it.

Little did she know that I was the one who was glad she was here with me—not the circumstances, but for the moments I would be there for her.

Annabella

I decided to take a long walk and get familiar with the place.

The rest of the house was as beautiful as the living room. I reckoned there were around twelve bedrooms upstairs and four downstairs. He must have a really big family or a lot of friends; otherwise, what was the point of having such a big house? Strange thing was, there weren’t any more pictures of him or anyone else, except those on the wall I’d seen earlier. It was hard to guess or peek into his life, so to speak.

The weather was cold, but for some reason, I needed to go outside. It was the whole talk about horses; I couldn’t resist those. I’d had a few riding lessons back in school, but had to cure myself from my love because I couldn’t continue after the free programs ran out.

Extra activities were expensive, so I gave up on the idea.

I wandered around and noticed a massive stable. I entered it and was greeted with the smell of sweat, hens, and horses. There were around ten or twelve horses of different colors, and they all had signs on their fence with their name and age.

The majority of them were young, but there was one that really stood out for me.

It was a brown stallion named Hershey. He was eleven years old. My hand raised to pat him on the head when he opened his mouth and almost bit me. With a scream, I snatched my hand away and stepped back.

“
He isn’t exactly the most friendly one here. Still struggles with the fact he needs to do as we say,” said the gruff, yet amused voice behind me. I turned back to see who it was.

Standing there was an older man, wearing jeans and a jacket. He studied me carefully. He had brown eyes and his hair was gray. He must have been in his fifties or sixties.

“
I didn’t know.” I cleared my throat. “My name is Bella. I’m, well, I’m—”

“
I know, a friend of Nate’s.”

He reached out his hand and nodded. “Dean.” I shook his hand and nodded back. “Like horses?”

“
I used to, and wanted to touch this one, but, well, he isn’t friendly, as you said.” He chuckled and pointed at a black horse a few feet behind us.

“
You’re better off with Star. She’s friendly and loves the attention.” Before I could say anything else, a young guy entered the stable, or rather, a teenager. The kid was skinny and it was hard to see anything of him, since he had on his hat, gloves, and jacket. He smiled and extended his hand.

“
I’m Nolan.”

“
Bella.”

“
Nate said, if you wanted to ride a horse, I should help you. Do you want to now?” They both looked at me curiously, and although they were kind and considerate, all I wanted to do was run away from there.

I didn’t even consider touching Star; even the damned horses didn’t like me. I forced a smile and mumbled under my breath, “Sorry, I have to go,” then quickly left and went back inside the house.

I should stay clear from all the folks here until I’ve cleared my head because this is unacceptable.
I had no idea why I’d just acted up back there. There was no reason to.

Frustrating as fuck, that’s what it was.

“
Stupid girl! How many times have I told you to keep your clumsy hands away from my things, and especially the booze?” Dad kept on screaming while I prayed for the floor under me to open up and take me in. It was my thirteenth birthday, and I wanted to keep the whiskey away from him. I didn’t want him drunk and angry on my special day. Unfortunately, he came downstairs when I was trying to hide it, and because he started shouting, I panicked and it ended up shattered on the floor. The brown liquid made a big, wet puddle on the white kitchen floor. He was wearing his usually stained white shirt and black sweatpants, and his bulky figure and beefy hands were looming over me. We were alone in the house. Mom had to go to work because they wanted to buy more drinks for the weekend, which was two days away, and since all their money went to it, they worked hard for it.

Nicky was at his football practice and I had no means to let him know something was wrong. The old man had never touched me, but today he saw it as me antagonizing him on purpose, and I knew there was no escape from what was coming next.

“
I’m sorry.” I kept on repeating that over and over again but knew it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to him. There was nothing more important for him and Mom than the whiskey.

“
It was a whiskey I worked one week for. Do you know how important that stuff is? I already invited a few friends over to celebrate your birthday today and now look at it! Stupid girl, you ruined everything.” He snapped the belt he’d brought with him and everything inside me froze. I knew from Nicky’s experience that it was painful, and Dad was never gentle about it. He used all his power to make it excruciating and to make you shed blood. “You need to learn how to behave and keep those clumsy hands of yours away from our things.” He raised his hand and I closed my eyes in horror as I put my hands over my head, because I didn’t know how else to protect myself from what was about to come. Then there was a deep pain that ran across my back and I couldn’t hold in the scream when the buckle made contact with my spine. Tears ran down my cheeks. I wasn’t as strong as Nick, who never gave him an emotion.

“
Please,” I whispered, but knew it was useless as the next hit came again, this time to my side, and it was hard for me to breathe. I was probably having a panic attack as well.

Suddenly, the door crashed open and I opened my eyes to see Nicky in the doorway, holding his backpack and looking at the image before his eyes.

His face transformed into full-on rage as he threw his bag and stormed toward Dad. The old man just smirked and straightened his back. He was always in a good mood when he inflicted pain on others, especially now. He’d never touched me before; he probably enjoyed my suffering.

“
You motherfucking piece of shit!” Nicky screamed and shoved at him, knocking him off balance.

He’d grown quite big over the years with football practices, and knew how to use those muscles.

Nick punched him in the face and stomach, knocking him to the floor and causing the old man to moan and groan in pain. “I told you to never fucking touch her, you fucking piece of shit!” He grabbed the belt that Dad had been beating me with, and started hitting the old man with all his might. “You fucking want punishment? Then fucking get it!” I knew he would hate himself if he did any permanent damage to him, so I ran to stop him. The look in his eyes scared me.

“
Nicky, please stop.” But he didn’t listen and it made me cry even harder. “Please stop, I can’t lose you!” If he killed him, they would take him away from me.

He finally stopped, breathing hard, and let go of the belt. He turned to me and hugged me tight, as I cried into his shoulder.

“
I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry for not being here sooner.” I hugged him closer but winced in pain. He noticed it and his expression, which had gone soft, became harsh again. “We need to check your injuries.” We heard the door open and Mom entered the kitchen, holding more booze in her hand, and looked at us with her mouth open.

“
Clean up the fucking mess, Meredith, and if any of you touch me or her again, you fuckers will wish you were dead. Am I clear?” Nicky emphasized each of his words to Mom, and she finally nodded, but there was fear in her eyes as she quickly went down to help her husband.

It would always be like this for her. She put Dad above everything---above us and herself. I remember there were pictures of them when they were young. She was a beautiful woman with hopes and dreams, but gave them all up because she fell in love with the wrong guy. She was afraid to lose him, and if that didn’t make her pathetic, I didn’t know what did.

Was this the love that people talked so much about? Who would want it? It ruined you completely and you lost your sense of identity.

I never wanted to fall in love. I never wanted to become like my mom.

And I didn’t want kids, either. What kind of parent would I be to my child if I had this example to go by?

“
Don’t worry, baby girl. No one will ever hurt you like that again. I’ll always be there.” And I believed him, because Nick would never willingly leave me or bring pain to me.

I just hoped the social services wouldn’t hear about it, because the foster care system could separate us permanently, and this fear was way stronger than the painful belt.

He would be the only man in my life whom I would love and trust. There was no place for anyone else.

Annabella

My palms were getting sweaty, and I tried to rub them off on my sweats. I wished I had the sanitizer I always used on tours, but there was no such thing here.

I was about to head to my first appointment with Dr. Drake, and the idea didn’t exactly make me feel peachy. I was scared of his questions, but most importantly, I didn’t want to answer them. I had never needed a shrink before, or at least no one provided me with one. But based on movies and books, they loved to ask uncomfortable shit and made their clients nervous, and I didn’t like that one bit.

It had been a week since I was let off the hook, so to speak. I could wander around, and I took long walks and enjoyed the fresh air. I fed the horses sometimes and liked to pet them. They had this calming presence about them that helped me think. Or escape from my thoughts.

Depending on which one I preferred.

Mostly, I spent time with Marie, who always had some good stories to tell. I got check-ups by Rose and the doctors, and had some time to read books. Nate only allowed me to use a Kindle, so I caught up on my “to be read” list.

Mobile phones and laptops were out of the question.

The ranch folks were nice, and I was familiar with some of them, as we sometimes shared lunch and dinner with each other, though I still had “special” food made just for me. It wasn’t exactly my thing, but if I ever wanted to play music again and get out of the mess I’d created, I had to start getting healthy.

I tried to play the guitar, but my hands were too shaky, and I still couldn’t force myself to sing anything. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to anymore.