Annabella's Oblivion (Hard World Tour #1) (13 page)

And my thoughts had nothing to do with the town this time.

Annabella

The next day, I was still majorly pissed that we were in my hometown. I couldn’t believe they’d brought me here. The girls and Jeremy knew I hated the place.

Well, girl, apparently no one cares.

However, when I took a shower and was drying my hair in front of the bathroom mirror, it got me thinking about one important fact, and I couldn’t let go of it.

If he had a home ranch here, that meant he grew up here. No one just moved to this city, and especially not guys like him. Yes, the ranch was isolated and it was probably hard to get to, but still.

He couldn’t be that much older than me, which meant at some point we were together in school. So we knew each other before. Who the hell was this guy? I didn’t know any Nate/Nathaniel in our school. Did he change his name or something? God knows this town would do that to a person.

It was ten o’clock in the morning, and I quickly ran downstairs to grab some food. Sure enough, Marie was there making me a plate with eggs, toast, and fruit.

Seriously, I would probably gain some weight by staying here. Maybe he had some kind of gym down here? That would be appreciated.

“
Good, you’re here. Sit down.”

“
Thanks.” The woman was really great; she was always kind and warm. At least I didn’t see judgment—or pity, for that matter—in her eyes.

Refreshing if you asked me.

“
You’re welcome, kiddo.” I grabbed my cup with that God-awful tea and tried not to wince at the taste. Seriously, what the hell?

Apparently Dr. Parker, who was my nutritionist, thought coffee was inappropriate, and no amount of begging could change that—I tried.

“
So, I had no idea we were in Moonlight Rose.” I didn’t remember her, but she must have been from here, right?

“
Yeah, I was shocked when my boy wanted to buy a house here as well. Never heard about this town before.” She was still baking something and her back was to me, so she couldn’t have seen my shocked expression.

My boy?

“
Why? Does it make a difference for you?”

“
Kind of.” I didn’t know if I wanted to share anything with her, but then, why the hell not? I wanted to talk with someone, and so far, she was the nicest of them all, well, her and Drake, but he didn’t talk much, so it was hard to tell for sure. “I grew up here.” There was a look of surprise in her eyes and she took her cup from the counter and sat down next to me.

“
I had no idea about that. My boy never told me.”

“
I left this town when I was fifteen and never looked back.” I grabbed my fork and started eating, because I didn’t really know what to do with my hands.

“
Why not? Your parents must still live here.” That made me tense, because my parents were never a good thing to talk about.

“
They both died in a fire a few years back.” And just because I didn’t know how to shut up I continued, “Apparently, there was a fight over a bottle of whiskey with their friends, and one thing led to another and the fire started. There was no way to save anyone, and there was nothing left of the bodies.” My voice was cold, hostile even. Nick went to the funeral, but I refused to do that. Our parents meant nothing to me. After all the shit they made us go through, it was a rather ironic ending. It was behind me, and I never wanted to come back to them. Some people were beyond redemption, and that was the kind of people they were.

“
I see.” Her hand squeezed mine a little bit, and I had the feeling she knew what I’d gone through.

No one knew though, except my girls. It wasn’t exactly my favorite topic of conversation with anyone.

“
I wish my kids visited me more often, but they are busy in college.”

“
Oh, I had no idea you had family.” Which was ridiculous if you thought about it; she had this motherly aura around her and so much love to give.

“
My husband used to be in the army and we have two beautiful kids, a boy and a girl. Twins.” She smiled. “They both study at New York University, in Film production.” She sounded very proud of them.

“
And your husband? He comes to visit you here?” The light from her eyes died down a bit and there was sadness in them.

“
No, he died a few years ago while serving in the Middle East.” She still suffered his loss though, it was evident for anyone who looked at her. I felt the lump in my throat; it was hard for me to speak.

“
I’m so sorry for your loss.” Those words were whispered, and before she could say anything, I stood up, not caring that I hadn’t finished my breakfast. “I have to go. I’m not feeling so well right now.” Running away was a form of escape. I had to face the ugly truth that I wasn’t the only one in this world who’d suffered a loss, but people learned to move on.

As much as I wanted to get better to play music and not rely on drugs, I didn’t want to admit something was wrong.

To accept this meant there was something to move on from.

I couldn’t live with the fact that my brother was dead, gone from me forever.

I was afraid I’d lose my sanity if I did.

“
Nicky, are you sure?” I nipped on my lower lip and looked around worriedly. I knew he believed in me and everything I did, but I just wasn’t sure.

“
Baby girl, you have an amazing voice. Trust me. You need to have a guitar to play some of the notes.”

“
But I don’t know how to play it.” We didn’t have any money to afford it, either, and I didn’t want him to spend his hard-earned money on such an expensive present for me, not when he needed something for the dates he’d started going out on and his other stuff.

My birthday was almost a week ago and the incident with our parents, if they could be called that. Nicky had tended to my injuries; they weren’t that deep, thank God, just bruises that really hurt. He had wanted to surprise me with the present that was supposed to be a surprise, but due to the circumstances, he had decided to postpone our trip until I felt better, and that day was today. I still felt unsure about the whole experience. He heard me sing a while ago, and although I liked doing it in the privacy of my own room, I didn’t feel like I should put it out there. Nicky would have none of it and wanted me to practice with a real guitar because that’s what most musicians did, and it was hard to convince him to do it differently.

“
Megan knows how to play. She went to music school and shit. She agreed to help you out.” I looked at him skeptically and raised my brows.

“
Just like that? For free?” I snapped my fingers at the gesture, not that I had anything against Megan personally. She was a good kid, actually a nerd, with very wealthy parents. She wore glasses, had a bit of extra weight, and everyone made fun of her. I never understood the cruelty of kids, but probably it was a given. I was on the receiving end of it as well and felt bad for other people who experienced it.

“
Yes.” He smiled about something without sharing, and that had me stopping in the middle of the mall. He acted weird, almost as though he liked the girl.

“
Nicky, what did you promise her?”

“
A date.”

“
She agreed to help me out if you go on a date with her?” I couldn’t say I blamed her, as my brother was considered pretty hot—gross, every time I tried to look at him in that way I wanted to puke—and he had almost the whole school going after him.

I just didn’t feel it was right to use that girl, because I doubted he was really interested in her.

“
Everyone makes fun of her. A date with me will put her a bit higher on the high school totem pole. It’s a win-win situation for us. Don’t worry, baby girl, I’m not using her or anything.” Well, okay, if it was okay by her, then it was fine by me. Suddenly, I grew excited at the prospect of buying my very own guitar. I smiled, making Nicky chuckle.

“
Knew that information would put you in a good mood. Here we are, let’s go.” We entered the music shop, and a salesman, who looked like he played rock every day, smiled at us and offered to help.

Later that night, I ran my fingers through my very own, new, classic brown guitar and excitingly waited for my lessons with Megan to start.

I had the best brother ever.

Ryan

I went inside the house and hoped to fuck there wouldn’t be anyone in my way.

And yes, by anyone, I meant Bella.

Lately, she was everywhere I looked, and that was not a good thing.

Not at fucking all.

I didn’t make a habit of working on the ranch. I liked horses, riding them, and even training them, but I wasn’t engaged in the day-to-day basics. I wasn’t built for that. I knew my strong suits, and that wasn’t exactly one of them. Today, I spent five hours in the cold weather and rode Black Star. The horse was fast and provided a good workout. It helped me clear my head from my problems—and one beautiful lady in my house. My body was sore and I needed a hot shower. I went upstairs to my room, which was several feet away from Bella’s, and took off my clothes, wincing.

Shit, maybe I overdid it today.

Thankful for the hot water, I turned on the shower and stepped under it. I rested my hand on the shower wall and closed my eyes while the hot spray made the soreness and pain easier to handle.

I was so out of it that, at first, I didn’t register the sound coming from my room. But then her voice became so loud I knew for a fact she was there.

“
Nate!” I quickly shut off the water, grabbed the towel to put it around my waist, and rushed into my room.

Bella was standing there, shaking, with a panicked expression and her eyes looking crazy. She was on the verge of having a fit.

“
What the hell happened?” My voice was a bit rough, but I couldn’t be gentle with her when she was out of it like she was now.

“
I…I…I want a dose.”

“
What?”

“
I can’t handle it. I can’t handle it. I want it back.” She was now going from one corner of the room to another while I tried to assess the situation.

“
Want what back?”

“
The oblivion. I started to play the guitar today. My hands shook, and it was hard, and my fingertips hurt. But that’s not the point. The point is I couldn’t stand it. I…I couldn’t stop all those memories with Nick and me, and it all came down on me. I wanted to move past that, but I couldn’t and I craved that feeling.” She looked at me and screamed hysterically. “I wanted it! Don’t you see? I won’t ever be able to play music again!”

I took her shoulders in my hands. “Stop it, Bella. You will get better.”

“
I won’t! Don’t you see? It’s useless! I’ve been here almost two months and I still want it!”