Annabella's Oblivion (Hard World Tour #1) (26 page)

All in all, she was a beautiful angel.

She suddenly froze and turned around, as though she could feel my presence, and her violet eyes ended up on me.

Well, damn it, she was even more beautiful now when I could see all of her, not just her profile. She gave me a shy smile and seemed hesitant to move forward. I understood she had no idea how we were supposed to act when people were around.

As though I would treat her like a dirty little secret.

Like she did you all those years ago.

I pushed aside those memories, because everything was different now. There was no need to live in the past.

I opened my arms wide and raised my brows. She made a step forward, bit that full lip of hers that I loved so much, and stopped. Then, in quick moves, she ended up in my arms, her hands circling my waist. I inhaled her sweet scent of lavender and something else that I wasn’t able to catch. I could have drowned in her scent, but at the same time, I wanted her to smell like me, too.

Those primitive and caveman tendencies were fucking new, and I’d better take a hold of them. No way in hell would she let me control her, as I wanted to.

“
Well, I see you finally made it official?” Marie’s amused voice snapped us from our moment, and I chuckled while Bella groaned into my chest. “No need to be ashamed, child. It’s a beautiful thing.”

I loved this woman. She was like a second mom to me and had agreed to follow me wherever I lived. She was always there, cooking and making sure the house had everything. She never judged, and she supported me in everything. She was a strong woman, who wasn’t afraid of challenges.

I thought her husband, Mark’s, death would break her and for a moment, it did, but then she put all the pieces back together and tried to find the good in life.

I admired her for that even more.

But as much as I trusted her and thought she was irreplaceable, even she didn’t know the whole truth about me and Bella and our past.

“
Kind of,” I replied, and then looked down and raised Bella’s face with my fingers. As she gave me an annoyed look, I asked, “Did we make it official or not, babe?”

“
Does it matter?”

“
No.” And because she knew what I meant, she smiled and turned around to face Marie with my hands still wrapped around her waist from behind, pulling her back to my chest.

“
I guess we can call it official then.” Marie just laughed and put two full plates on the table, motioning for us to sit. “Well then, it’s coffee for you.” Bella squealed and quickly grabbed the cup, inhaling the smell and taking a sip while moaning in pleasure.

Fuck, the sound sent shivers to my cock. My voice was gruff and held warning.

“
Don’t enjoy it that much.” She frowned before smirking in my direction and moaning again. She had mischief in her eyes; the little minx did it on purpose. “If you’re not afraid of the consequences it may bring.”

Shaking her head, she innocently stated, “I’m just enjoying my coffee here, and may I say, Marie, you make one of the best coffees out there.”

“
Flattery won’t work, girl. You still get tea tomorrow.”

“
Damn it,” she murmured, but then shrugged and kept drinking. “So what did you want to talk to me about?” She grabbed her fork and started to eat, making me realize how starved I was. I hadn’t had food since lunch yesterday and my stomach growled. Chuckling, she pointed at my plate. “Eat, and then we’ll talk.”

We finished our food quickly as Marie shared anecdotes about her kids with us and how they enjoyed college.

I hadn’t liked college much. I was an awkward, geeky kid, who everyone made fun of, and not to mention I was younger than everyone else. But I was glad she was happy about her kids.

We finished our food, thanked Marie, and I grabbed Bella’s hand, taking her down to the studio. I knew no one would bother us there, and maybe she might need to focus on music once the panic struck.

“
So tell me. I really want to know.” She was holding another coffee mug; somehow she had convinced Marie that her generosity should extend
for one more cup. Bella was full of energy and smiling. Part of me hated what I was about to do, but it needed to be done. Looking at me expectantly, she hopped on the chair near the mic.

I took the seat opposite her near the piano, basically the same position we were in the last time, and took a deep breath.

“
I spoke with Jeremy yesterday.” She tensed, squeezing her mug tighter. “You guys have a music tour across the United States and Canada coming up.” She was still silent, so I decided to continue. “The press doesn’t know about your drug addiction.” She winced, but again said nothing. “They think you couldn’t handle the grief and hid somewhere to get better.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie, but she wasn’t ready to open up about her pain. “The band announced this tour one year ago. The tickets were sold and arrangements have been made. You worked your ass off on the album and were there for most of the songs.”

“
I know, I just thought it would be postponed with all the things happening right now.”

“
They’re going ahead with the tour. Your album is done and ready. Now the band needs to go out and promote it.” She frowned as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“
But we did only ten out of twelve songs.”

“
They decided to settle for ten.”

“
Okay. So they are going on tour. When?” Those violet eyes held pain, which she tried to cover. Without waiting for my answer, she asked another question. “Who is she?” I raised my brow at her. I wasn’t following the conversation very well because everything she said was confusing as fuck. “Their new lead singer. Who is she?”

“
They don’t have a new lead singer.” Now it was her turn to raise her eyebrows, but her facial expression was grim, as though I’d said something stupid.

“
What do you mean? How are they going on the tour then?”

Well, fuck, now I understood perfectly well what made her react like that and mentally kicked myself for not explaining it better for her.

“
Babe, you are still the lead singer. They didn’t kick you out. That’s the whole reason why we need to talk. They want you for the tour.”

“
I don’t understand.”

“
You need to go on tour with them. In fact, your first concert is in two weeks. They’re coming here because I have a full studio and you guys can practice. The concert is in Buffalo.” She gave me a horrified look. “Sweetheart, you understand it would have happened at some point, right?” I said gently, but she just kept on shaking her head.

“
No, no. Are you crazy?” She stood up and some of her coffee spilled to the floor, but she didn’t seem to notice. “I’m not ready for this. The fans, media, concerts. I’m not ready.” She was breathing hard now.

“
For that, or to meet your bandmates?” Hurt flashed in her eyes, and I wanted to strangle myself for making her feel that. But at the same time, I knew there was no other choice.

“
All of it,” she finally said and sat back down. “When are they coming?”

“
Tonight.” She nodded her head and grabbed the mic, adjusting it to her level.

“
Let’s sing something.” I waited for something else, maybe for raging or another panic attack, but nothing came. I didn’t like it. I could handle her being emotional, but her hiding her feelings was what brought this on in the first place.

“
Bella—” She raised her hand without turning her head toward me and exhaled a breath.

“
Can we just do it? I know I have to handle this situation, and I know I can’t jeopardize our tour. I know how much work was done to make it happen. I will find a way to control myself there.”

“
You don’t have to do it by yourself.”

“
Yeah? Nate, who the hell will help me then? My band turned their back on me the minute they knew about my drug addiction. I highly doubt they will be babysitting me during the tour, where the temptation is so strong!” she snapped. Her body almost shook with anger, and somehow, I welcomed that. It was better than cold indifference and allowed me to see what really bothered her, the root of the problem.

“
I will be there.” She froze and snapped her confused eyes to me. “I’ll go with you, and Drake will, too. You still need therapy, but physically you are good to go. You still need to take vitamins, but you can do it on your own. I’ll be there with you and won’t allow anything to happen to you. Okay?” We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity when she finally closed her eyes for a second and turned to the mic once again, licking her lips.

“
Okay,” she whispered. “Can we sing now? I really need it.” If that was what she needed, then I would gladly give it to her.

“
What do you want me to play?”

“
Do you know the song ‘Echo’ by Jason Walker?”

“
Yes.” Piano it was again. Without raising my eyes, I asked, “Ready?”

“
Yeah.” I started playing the intro and closed my eyes; that song meant something to me, too.

Her voice was more confident than the last time, but was still raspy, especially when she started to sing higher. She went off key, but still it was beautiful.

The rhythm of the song became a bit faster, and although it seemed like she was out of breath, she continued with her eyes closed. Almost like the words were pushed out from her soul. Like she felt this song deep in her bones; it was a beautiful song, after all.

She paused a little bit and I could see how she grabbed the mic fiercely, and even though her voice was tired, she finally finished her song with a higher note than in original version.

She leaned forward, resting her forehead on the mic, and then turned her head to me.

“
I love how you play. It feels like you allow the music to wash through you. You never miss a note,” she whispered. For some reason, her violet eyes were less troubled than they were before the song.

My face heated up, fucking unbelievable. I hadn’t blushed in a long time; in fact, she was the last one who’d made me. “Do you think the saying is true? That music can heal the soul?” She reminded me of a child who asked a grownup if Santa was real.

She needed answers to her questions.

But sadly, I didn’t have them.

“
It does. Everything does at some point. And thanks, sweetheart, but my music can’t compare to your voice.” She gave me a sad smile and looked down.

“
My voice is not in its best condition right now.”

“
Give yourself time. It’s just our second practice. Well, the second proper one, at least.” I didn’t really count all those times with Nick’s guitar.

“
Yet my band is coming here tonight, and in three weeks, I’m supposed to perform in front of a crowd.”

“
We can still practice when they get here. Just you and me.” She stood up and moving quickly, ended up on my lap, shoving her face into my neck. I wrapped her in my arms.

“
Promise?”

“
Yes, I promise.” She leaned back and kissed me gently, but soon the kiss became deeper and hotter, making her moan. When we stopped, she didn’t move back as I’d expected, but rested her forehead against mine. She palmed my head and her lips touched mine. I could feel her light breath on them.

“
I don’t know how to do it without you.” I swallowed because, suddenly, it was hard to speak.

“
You don’t have to. I will be there with you.”

“
Good.”

At that moment, I decided everything else could go to hell.

Letting her go once she was fine?

It was out of the fucking question.

She was mine, and she wanted to be mine.

It would suck for some time after she found out the truth, but she would deal with it.

I was done letting the woman I love out my life while I stood there and watched her do it.

This time, I would fucking fight and hope like fuck I won.

Because I had no idea how to live without her now, either.