“You aight, Jae? You look like you just saw a ghost or something,” he said as he placed his hand on my arm.
“I’m straight. I must was just moving too fast,” I said as I turned towards the car and attempted to wake up my son.
“Why you always do that, Jaeda?” Q asked as I grabbed the diaper bag and threw it over my shoulder.
“What, what I do?” I asked, refraining from looking in his direction.
“That. You put up a wall when I come around. Like you ain’t trying to never give me no kind of time.” Q grabbed my arm lightly and turned me around.
I looked at him and he was sexy as hell. Even when he was dressed simply, he was just that nigga. I couldn’t deal with him, though. He was associated with Gio and in the streets. Even though he has legitimate businesses, I didn’t want to deal with that lifestyle anymore.
“No offense, Quinton. You cool as hell but I know you want something that I’m not looking for and so to not get anything confused, I think it’s best that we keep shit short and cordial,” I said, turning away again as Baby Tone began waking up on his own.
Q pushed up behind me, his dick sitting directly on my ass and leaned close to my ear. “I ain’t ask what you was looking for. All you got to do is stop checking for these bum ass niggas and open ya eyes to a real boss.” Q kissed my ear and walked off.
Shit, that nigga was everything. My panties felt like I’d peed in them. He had me soaking wet from being so close up on me. I shook my head and unsnapped the baby from his car seat.
“Wake up, son,” I said softly. “Prince Tonio, wake up, mama’s baby.”
Baby Tone opened his eyes and smiled at me. “Out, mama,” he said and I picked him up and closed the door, hitting the lock on my truck.
We walked into the house and were greeted by everyone. I put Baby Tone down and let him walk as I looked around and admired the decorations. Ms. Tracy came up to me and gave me a hug.
“Thank you for letting me be a part of my grandbaby’s life. I really need him and love him and it’s like a second chance for me.”
I nodded my head and smiled. “Well, he needs you, too, and you are his only grandparent, so thank you also for stepping up and filling that void,” I said as I gave her another hug and then walked off towards the kitchen.
Everybody that was somebody to us was there and I was glad that my son had a lot of people who would always be there for him. If anything were to ever happen to me, I knew that there were a handful of people that would take care of my baby with no questions asked.
“Damn, look at all this food,” I said, looking around.
There were pans of lemon pepper chicken, honey barbecue, buffalo and regular fried party wings, macaroni and cheese, salad, spaghetti and fruit platters, and also fried enchilada rolls that China made that were bomb. I couldn’t wait to dig in.
“Yeah, all this food, and you better make sure they eat it all because I ain’t accepting no leftovers,” China said as she dipped a cracker into some tuna. I grabbed a cracker and did the same as Lexis and Lo walked in laughing.
“What’s wrong with you, Jae Money?” Lexis asked, staring at me quizzically.
I hated that she could always tell when something was bothering me. I shook my head and took a deep breath. “Man, I don’t even know. I feel bad because today is supposed to be a happy day but I swear the devil is working overtime to keep trying to make me feel down.” I stared at all of them and wondered if they would even understand what I was feeling. “I’ve been having these crazy feelings lately. Butterflies and just flat out weird vibes. Sometimes when I come home, I feel like somebody has been here. It’s crazy because I will check something and think that I don’t remember leaving that like that or just feel like somebody’s presence has been in my house,” I said as I dipped another cracker in the tuna and placed it in my mouth.
“Well, maybe just for your own reassurance, you should put some hidden cameras in your house. I mean, honestly, I think you may just be overworked and paranoid but if you feel strongly that something is off, then I say take precautions. You have a baby, so do what you have to do.”
I nodded because China was right. First thing tomorrow, I was going to call a home security company and have them install some security cameras. I decided I might as well tell them everything since we were talking, so I pulled out my phone and showed them Chris’ Facebook post from earlier.
“Oh hell no!” Lexis yelled after she read the post out loud. I shook my head because they all looked pissed. “Jae, I’m leg checking that nigga when I see him. Ol’ fake, faggot ass nigga.” Lex was pissed and she could get real disrespectful when she got that way.
China grabbed the phone and read the comments. “I’m so glad you stopped fucking with his bitch ass. He need to get over it and go fall off a damn cliff. I heard that shit he pulled yesterday and he lucky I wasn’t here. I would have tased his ugly ass,” China said as she handed me back my phone.
“Girl, Chris a mark. He better get his life because ain’t nobody scared of his ass,” Lo said as she grabbed a wing out of the pan on the counter. I laughed because these broads were crazy as hell and I knew they would be ready to ride no matter what.
I grabbed a bottle of water out the refrigerator and opened it, taking big gulps as the girls were having small talk. My body was feeling weird as hell and I felt like I needed to lie down for a minute. “I saw Tay today at the zoo,” I blurted out and turned around.
“Who, little Tay? Shit, he in the living room now,” Loren said with a confused look on her face and I shook my head and looked at Lexis.
“No, Richmond Tay, the nigga that killed my family,” I said to Loren.
“What the fuck! When did that bitch ass nigga get out of jail?” Lexis yelled out, straight pissed off.
“When did who get out of jail?” Gio said as he and Dolo walked into the kitchen.
“Tay,” I said as I took a seat on one of the stools in the kitchen. I was really feeling lightheaded and I thought I really just needed a nap.
I told them about what happened at the zoo and Gio was pissed that this nigga was back in the Bay and we didn’t even know it. We decided to call a meeting in a couple of days because we couldn’t let this nigga continue to walk around like shit was sweet when he had violated. The nigga tested me at the zoo with that kiss he blew and he was lucky my son was there because I would have lit his ass up had he not been with me.
“You know what? I don’t want to be rude but I really don’t feel good, y’all. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but do you guys mind if I go lay down for a minute?” I asked.
This was my son’s birthday gathering but I felt weak and sick. I didn’t know what had come over me but I just felt sad and sick. I guess it was the feeling that today was my son’s day and the people that meant the most to me weren’t here to celebrate with the rest of us. It had been almost two years but time didn’t really heal wounds like people say it does.
“Nah. go ahead, little sis. We got everything. The girl who is doing the face painting just got here and everything is straight. Honestly, you don’t look good anyway,” Gio said.
I walked into the living room where there was music playing and Ms. Tracy was holding Baby Tone and dancing around the living room with him. It was so cute. He really loved that woman and I knew she loved him, too. I walked up to them and let her know that I wasn’t feeling good and that I was going upstairs to lie down. She nodded her head and I kissed my son and then headed up to my bedroom.
Once I was inside, I closed the door and kicked off my shoes and hat and laid down. My heart ached, my head was cloudy and I just wanted to sleep. I felt like I was just going through the motions. My body was on auto pilot and it was as if I was just floating on a cloud. It was like I could see myself doing everything; like an out of body experience. Baby Tone was around family and he was good so I wasn’t worried about him.
I lay there for a minute just thinking. I had a crazy ass ex-boyfriend out here claiming a child that he didn’t even like and was threatening me. I had a crew that is fonkin’ with some nobody ass niggas across the water, a dead nigga whose face wasn’t going to be on the streets for long and then my everyday struggle of being a single mother going to school full time, and running a five figure drug business. My plate was full as fuck and I just needed a breather. I never saw myself doing any of this; and especially not by myself.
I was puzzled as to how Chris knew that I was hustling and how long he had known. I never had told him but if he was copping from our blocks, then I was sure that was possibly how he’d found out. I couldn’t care less now because we weren’t together anymore and it was my life and I could do as I pleased and honestly, only God could judge me. I said a prayer and asked God for protection and direction and then drifted off to sleep.
I opened my eyes inhaling the aroma of hot food. I looked up and Q was standing at my bedroom door. I sat up in the bed and stretched and then fall back onto the bed. I looked at my watch and saw that I had been asleep for about two hours. I had definitely needed that rest because the way that I was feeling, I was going to fall on my face but now I felt refreshed and my mind was clear.
“Hey, I knocked but you didn’t respond. I brought you some food,” Q said as he stood there holding two plates of food.
“Thanks, you can come in,” I said, smiling at him. He walked over and handed me my plate, a fork and napkin and then reached into his pocket and handed me a can of soda as well.
I laughed, “All prepared. This was nice of you, Mr. Big Money.”
He shrugged his shoulders and sat down in the chair across from my bed. I was glad he had some manners and common sense to not sit on my bed. I always thought it rude when people just come and sit on people’s beds in their street clothes and without asking.
We ate for a minute in silence before I finally got tired of hearing myself chew. “So how old are you, Q? Tell me some shit about you,” I said, looking up into his eyes. His eyes were nice. They were big and brown and seemed to hold so much life and hope.
“Ain’t much to tell. I’m a ice city nigga, North Oakland raised and shit. I ain’t got no kids, no broad and no drama. Shit, I own three tattoo shops and a diner and I’m only 24. My mom runs my restaurant along with my baby sister and I travel back and forth between Vegas and the Bay to keep an eye on my investments. I ain’t got to tell you that I’m a hood nigga in and out but I also know how to hustle and get money all ways, always,” he said and I nodded my head, enamored by the man in front of me.
I was only 19 and the things that he said had me feeling less than a woman. I mean, this nigga was almost 25 and he had his shit together. He had businesses, houses and no kids, where as I had a home and a child with money in the bank but nothing else. I was fresh out of a relationship with a psycho, my heart still belonged to the father of my child and I was hustling in the streets. The kind of life I lived at the moment wasn’t what a man like him would want but I couldn’t help but to be drawn into him.
“Anything else you want to know?” he asked with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, you can give me your social and bank account numbers,” I said as we laughed together. “Nah, but seriously, why you keep trying to push up on me? What are you looking for?” I asked. I finished the last of the food on my plate and then sat the plate on the nightstand as I wiped my mouth and opened my soda.
“Real shit, little mama, I ain’t looking for nothing at all. Ain’t nothing in this world that I’m going to chase besides a dollar, but on the flip, I see something in you that I like. You beautiful, strong, independent, and a survivor and I like that.” I smiled as he gave it to me raw. “But I also know that I can upgrade you. I know money ain’t an issue for you but you settling for less with these busta ass niggas that ain’t got shit. Trying to fit in with mothafuckas when you were born to stand out. I can take you further and show you shit you ain’t ever seen but you ain’t ready for all that.” I just stared at his cocky ass and shook my head because I didn’t know what I was ready for, so I remained silent.
Just as I was about to open my mouth and change the subject, Lo walked in and jumped on the bed. “What y’all in here talking about?” she asked, being nosey as hell. I looked at her and she had this sneaky look in her eyes. I guess she probably was feeling Q. Shit, why wouldn’t she be? That nigga was everything and some. I would talk to her later because if she was checking for the nigga, I would kick back. He was on me and I knew I wasn’t ready for a nigga like him.
“Nothing, just small talk, nothing heavy,” I said as I looked at Lo.
“Oh, okay. Well, the party is basically over. You slept through it, Sleeping Beauty, and Baby Tone just got a bath and he’s knocked out in his room,” she said as she threw her arm over my lap and continued talking. “Do you feel better? I see you ate something. Do you want me to make you some tea?”
I shook my head no. I was fine now. I guess I just needed some rest. “Nah, I’m good. Is Gio and the guys still here? I need to holla at them.” I asked.
“Yeah they’re about to smoke. That’s why I came up here to see if you wanted to hit the weed.”
I got up from the bed and stretched before grabbing my empty plate and trash. “Yeah, you know I ain’t about to turn down no dodie and Greg keep some good.”
We all got up and headed downstairs.
I
was livid as I went through my closet tossing shoes and shoeboxes everywhere. I had come in today to place some cash in my safe and as I looked inside, it was looking light. I pulled the counter from the safe and plugged it into the wall and started running the bills. I knew what my safe held and I could eyeball it and see that it wasn’t all there but just to prove to myself that I wasn’t crazy, I ran the counter bill for bill and just as I had expected, I was about $20,000 short.
Nobody had access to my house but Lexis and Greg was the only person who knew about this safe at all. I was pissed the hell off because it wasn’t making sense. Greg had the safe combo but no keys to my house and Lex had the keys but no safe combo. At the end of the day, I trusted them with my life. All the days that I felt like somebody had been in my house, they had been and their aura had lingered, leaving signs of their deception. I thought back to that dream I had on the plane where Tone told me to keep my eyes open. I was angry because somebody close to me had played me. The money, I could make back easily but the trust wasn’t as simple.