Chris pulled up a chair and sat down next to my bed, rubbing my hand as I lay with my eyes closed. “You don’t have to stay. You have done more than enough and I really appreciate you,” I said, never opening my eyes to look at him.
“Nah, you good. I’m staying right here until the baby is here and I know you are straight.”
I smiled as I said a silent prayer of thanks. I felt like before he saw all the nitty-gritty of childbirth that maybe we should get to know each other a little better. We were strangers but we were about to experience the gift of new life. I didn’t know anything about him and he didn’t know anything about me so I started from the beginning.
“I’m Jaeda Johnson and I was born February 20
th
, 1997 and raised in Oakland. When I was four years old, I was involved in a terrible accident and my parents were killed instantly, my older sister Laela and I survived but were forced to live with our grandmother. At fifteen, my grandmother passed away from cervical cancer and we were uprooted and forced into the care of my mom’s brother. My sister and I fell in love with two guys from school and we lived a good life until almost a year ago. Laela, my child’s father Antonio, and her boyfriend Jah were all killed in a violent car crash exiting the freeway after our senior prom.”
I wiped the tears that began to fall from my eyes as I relived all the tragedies of my life. I had now beaten death for the second time in my life and I prayed that I was done paying for my father’s sins.
“Damn, that’s deep.”
I looked over at Chris and shook my head. I had purposely left out the fact that we had a street gang that was known throughout the city of Oakland and that I had sold drugs, shot and killed a man, and was sitting on over a million dollars because none of those things were his business.
Before I could respond, the nurse walked in with a male nurse who introduced himself and told me that he would be the one to administer the epidural. Once I had gotten it, I laid back and waited for the calming of the storm to take over. Once the nurse checked my vitals, they were right back out of the door. I reached for the pail of ice and poured some into a cup as Chris picked up the water pail and poured it into my ice cup. I sipped my water and thought about the watered down version of my life that I’d just given him. I looked over at Chris as I rubbed my belly.
“Well, I’m Christian Marbry and I’m 23 years old. I was born and raised here in Oakland and I was born to two middle class parents that have been married for about 21 years. I have a bachelor’s degree in business and I own two successful food trucks, both in Oakland.” I listened as he spoke confidently of his life and at that moment, I felt like I was tainting his life with the grittiness of my world. I continued to stare at him as he continued to speak. “I haven’t really experienced a death so close to me like you have, though, but I’m a square dude just trying to get rich.”
I nodded my head as I felt myself getting sleepy; my contractions were no longer painful but more so just uncomfortable. I laid my head back and decided to get some rest for as long as I could. Chris caught on because he stopped talking and reclined his chair so that he could also get a little rest. I was sure that by the time I woke again, it would be time to push out my prince.
Antonio Khamari Taylor II was born on March 3
rd
, 2015 at 10:27 p.m. I had gone through 7 ½ hours of labor and my prince was finally here. I sat and stared at my son. He was beautiful with a head full of soft, curly hair and a deep dimple in his chin like his father. I had fallen completely in love from just looking in his brown eyes.
“Hey, Prince, I’m your mommy and I promise to love and protect you forever.” I rubbed his cheek and then kissed his tiny fingers. Baby Tone was finally here and I couldn’t wait to begin this new chapter in my life.
T
oday was the day that Baby Tone and I would be leaving the hospital. We had been in there for four days and I was glad to finally be able to get into my own bed and just be away from the constant nag of the nurses and visitors.
The day I had my son was bittersweet for me because I was almost forced to be alone during my delivery. If it wasn’t for Chris’ presence, I would have had to do it on my own. I was extremely grateful to him for just being there. He didn’t know me from a can of paint and had taken the time to spend his whole entire day and night with me as I delivered a child that wasn’t his. Now we were going home and reality had set in. it was just my son and I but I knew that I had to be strong for the both of us.
“Hey, sissy, you ready?” Lexis said, walking in as I strapped Baby Tone into his car seat.
I looked around the room, making sure that I had grabbed everything. I’d had everything packed since early this morning, and I was most definitely ready to shake the spot. “Yeah, I believe we are. Ain’t that right, Prince? You ready to go home with mommy?” I asked as I kissed my baby’s nose.
The nurse had already come in and given us our walking papers so we were on our way. My delivery was fairly easy and I hadn’t needed any stitches or anything so I wasn’t in much pain aside from some cramping and the fading soreness in my abdomen. But even though I felt good enough to walk out of the hospital, the staff insisted that I be pushed out in a wheelchair. Yeah, I was glad to be leaving.
On the way to my house, I turned the music up in Lexis’ Range Rover and laid my head back against the head rest. while I was in the hospital, my car was towed from the garage and I had to have Greg pull a couple of strings to retrieve it from the tow yard so that it would be one less thing that I would have to deal with once I came home.
I took a deep breath and slowly released it. I didn’t have the fairy tale life that I had always dreamt of as a child; the husband, the baby, the career and that family unit there to support me. I didn’t even have the life that I had dreamed of with Tone. On numerous occasions, we had talked about our future. Going to college, getting married and having children were things that we had wanted together but life has a way of swinging things all the way around and you will be in a place that you never in your wildest dreams saw yourself in.
That’s where I was at the moment. Fresh out of high school with no immediate family to speak of, a newborn baby and mourning the loss of the love of my life. So at that very moment, I knew I had to make sure that I was in position to provide the best for Antonio from here on out.
I had been lost in my thoughts for so long that I didn’t even hear Lexis talking to me. I looked at her and she was just staring at me. “You straight, Jae?” she asked as I grabbed my bag and opened the car door.
“Yea, Lex. I’m good; thank you for bringing us home. You are the best,” I said after going to unlock my house so that we could bring the baby and our things inside.
Once Baby Tone and I were settled in, I placed him in the bassinette next to my bed and then threw myself down across the bed. It felt great to be home and I knew I had a lot to get used to with the baby here now. I looked up as I felt Lexis walk into the room, and watched as she took a seat in one of the chairs near the window.
“So, have you talked to Chris?” she asked, being her usual nosey self.
“Yeah, he actually has called or text every day since the day that I had the baby.” I smiled at the fact that he had kept in touch and that I hadn’t run him off. “I think once the baby and I are fully settled in, I will call him up and invite him over for dinner or something. Just a little something to let him know that I am grateful for everything, you know?” I said as I rubbed my face and sat up to take a pain pill.
“That sounds like a nice plan, sis. Well, I’m about to get out of here and you already know to call me if you need anything.”
I shook my head and got up under the covers. I was exhausted and I figured I should try and get some sleep in while the baby was napping. I had just fed him so I had about two hours before he would be waking up, fussy, needing a diaper change and a feeding. I had been trying my best to breastfeed but I just didn’t think that it was what either of us wanted. The baby didn’t too much take to breastfeeding in the hospital so we alternated between the breast and bottle but he seemed to like bottle feeding so I figured I would try for another week and if he still didn’t take, then I would pump milk for at least the next couple of months.
***
In the last couple of months, I had gotten into the swing of being a full time mommy. I was completely in love with my son and it was amazing how much he looked just like his father. Baby Tone had made three months and that made it a complete year since the accident that had taken the lives of his father, aunt and uncle. The Squad, Gio and I had planned to go and spend a few hours at the cemetery in memory of their deaths.
I sent a text to Chris letting him know that I would be dropping the baby off around 6 p.m. and we could meet at my house around 7. Since I had come home from the hospital, we had been talking often and we had even seen each other a couple of times in the last few weeks. This would be our first official date. I was nervous about leaving my baby but now that he was a couple of months old, I felt a little more confident about doing so. I was scared at first to tell Gio that I was going on a date but he ended up being super supportive and even agreed to keep the baby for me.
I had finally enrolled in school and would be attended the local Cal State University as a freshman for the summer quarter. I had found a great child care provider near the school so that I wouldn’t be too far away from my child while I was in classes. Laela and Gio had been a great support system for me and Baby Tone.
I hadn’t talked to my uncle much lately and I had heard that his club had gotten shut down due to a couple of shootings over the past few months. He was now under investigation for running a prostitution ring in the club and nobody knew what the future held for him. As of right now, he was still on the streets but nobody knew how long before the Feds came and kicked his door in.
I had taken a couple of weekends and helped the Squad switch up their operations and make sure that all of their individual assets were secure in case Uncle Ken was arrested. We had to make sure that nobody from our camp would be indicted if the Feds did make a move. I had left the streets alone but I did put in work if it was needed. I had my son to think about so I kept my hands clean. I just prayed that there wouldn’t be enough evidence to indict my uncle.
I had learned a lot about investing and hiding money and assets from Gio. He had been the one to teach Jah the game and in turn, he gave it to Laela and I got bits and pieces from them all, but more than enough knowledge to know what I was doing. It was good to switch up everything because you never knew what all the Feds knew when they came snooping. They might not know anything about the extra street businesses but we weren’t taking any chances. I wanted my Squad to win in the end, so I did my part to ensure that. I had my brother Rico sitting down behind this shit already, along with a few others from my East side crew. I still looked out for every last one of them but I wanted to avoid any more if I could.
I strapped Baby Tone into his car seat and grabbed the baby bag off of the kitchen counter along with my keys and phone and I headed out. I had recently bought a new Audi truck. This time, I had gotten an all-black Q3. I loved my first truck and I hadn’t had it for very long but I didn’t want to replace it with the same exact car. I still had the Masi as well but it wasn’t the type of car that you rode around in with your baby.
I hopped on the freeway and sent a text to Ericka letting her know that I was on my way. I was picking up Jahlisa and bringing her with me. It had been a couple weeks since I’d last kept her and I was missing her like crazy. I loved that little girl and blood couldn’t make me love her any more than I already did. I was keeping her the entire weekend so Gio was keeping both babies until I returned from my date.
Having Baby Tone made me grow up real fast. I was 18 but I felt older. Ericka had just recently moved. Apparently, her grandmother had passed not too long ago and since she had her grandmother’s only great grandchild, she left Ericka her house, which had been newly renovated and paid off before she passed. I was glad that Ericka was keeping it up and had also decided to make a few additions, too, like a guest house as well as a new driveway and security gate. I nodded my head, impressed by the changes. It was crazy how much I used to hate Ericka due to the bullshit that she had put my sister through when she thought that Jah was the father of her child. I pulled up to Ericka’s house and called her, letting her know I was outside.
A few minutes later, she was walking out the gate with Jahlisa on her hip and an overnight bag strapped around her shoulder. I got out the car to assist with getting her in the car seat that was permanently in my car for her.
“Hey E, how are you?” I asked, grabbing the baby off her hip. “Hey, Baby J. What’s up with Tee Tee’s baby?” I asked, kissing all over her fat cheeks. I placed her in her seat and strapped her in, handing her a tablet with a Doc McStuffins movie playing.
“What’s up, Jaeda? Damn, little man getting hella big and he cute as hell,” she said while making funny faces at Baby Tone.
“Yeah, he is growing so fast, his little fat butt is already wearing 6-9 months clothes and he’s only three months,” I said, leaning against the side of my truck.
“Girl that’s crazy. He looks just like his daddy. It’s creepy,” she said while closing the door and facing me. “How have you been holding up? I can’t believe it’s been a year that they have been gone.”
I shook my head thinking about how fast time had flown past. “Yeah, I can barely believe it myself. June 5
th
will always be a sour day for me but I swear, even though the time has passed, the pain is still there just as bad as the day it happened.” I held back tears as I thought about that tragic night. “Right. Well, Gio is going to have the kids for a couple of hours later on and I should be back to get them around nine, so I will text you and let you know when we make it in the house.”