Another Summer (19 page)

Yet as he sat there brooding, with no TV to distract him, he had to wonder how serious she was about Ibiza. She’d never been the groupie type.  She was practical and sensible.  She wouldn’t just chuck in her job to run off with a musician years younger than her.  Would she?  Did he know her at all?

There was a rain slicker on the back of the kitchen door.  He shrugged it on, and went out into the storm-flattened garden, suddenly desperate for fresh air.  There were signs of recent tidying up.  Surely Evie wouldn’t be up to that yet?  She was meant to be taking it easy.  So did that mean, yet again, it was that kid who’d come to her rescue?  The thought was unbearable.

Joe had been giving her time to get over her operation.  They hadn’t even had sex yet and hadn’t that come back to bite him?  Quite clearly she’d been having the best sex of her life with somebody else.  He didn’t dwell on the fact that he’d been playing away himself.

Hands thrust in his pockets, he trudged across the garden and a little way along the cliff path.  Across the bay, the Drydens’ house looked sad and faded.  He’d hated the weeks he’d stayed there but it had always been a fabulous house.  Heather and Steve would have their work cut out to bring it back to its former glory.  But he felt envious of their plan to do something meaningful together.

He should have made more of an effort to keep in touch with them.  Heather had always been his favourite sister and Steve had once been his best mate.  But he always felt uncomfortable around them, never wanting to be reminded of those student days which had started off a blast and ended in disaster.

When he trudged back to the cottage, the door to the giant shed was creaking on its hinges in the rain.  He went to close it but stepped inside for a moment.  Wasted space really, for a shed.  It should be a studio or a gallery.  The light would be fantastic.

He’d love to do something like that but it wouldn’t be up to him.  She’d be wanting to make all her plans with Jake.  Maybe he wouldn’t bother mentioning it.  She didn’t need any more reasons to do without him.

And maybe they’d all missed a trick with the cottage.  They didn’t have to sell to make money out of the place.  The Drydens made a bomb from their holiday lets.  Why shouldn’t somebody else have a slice of the action?

But all the time Evie had kept saying it was a great place to escape to, had she been planning to shack up with the kid?  It was killing him not knowing but his head was banging.  He lay down for a minute to rest his eyes and woke up on the sofa a couple of hours later.  Still knackered and sore but suddenly clear on what he needed to do.

His instinct had been right before.  If he was going to convince her he’d changed, he really did have to come clean and tell her everything.  If she was leaving him anyway, it couldn’t make anything worse.  What did he have to lose?  

Evie’s mouth was dry but her coffee had gone cold and there wasn’t even a vending machine in the waiting room.  Despite the heat, hospitals always made her shiver.  Her skinned knees were smarting, her shins almost raw from crawling across the bridge.  She felt tired and grubby and sick with guilt.  She’d been a bitch to Joe, pushing him away.  But now she was alone, there was nothing to do but think.

She kept seeing that one dark head in the water.  For a split second, as she’d struggled to tell them apart, she’d prayed it would be Joe.  How hadn’t she seen how alike they were?

She’d been drawn to Jake, to the point of being tempted to run off with him only days after meeting him.  Her attraction had been instant and she wondered if even then, he’d reminded her of Joe.  Even their initials were the same.  Had she been trying to turn back the clock, to live her life over and get it right this time?

Now because of her, Jake could die.  How could she believe anything else when she hadn’t been able to see him since they’d arrived in the ambulance?  If he was going to be okay, what was taking them so long?

Joe had been right.  She was desperate to get out of that room.  Why hadn’t she been able to say so?  She pulled on her boots, still damp in places or hard where the leather had dried, and tried not to think about how they’d got into that state as she splashed her face in the ladies.  She looked a fright.  She couldn’t even brush her hair.

Finally, Jake’s father came to tell her Jake was awake and asking for her.  He was an old man, falling to pieces and keen to get away before she could witness it.  He squeezed her shoulder before he left and she tried not to burst into tears.

Jake was deathly pale, a vivid bruise slashed across his temple.  One hand was in splints, the other hooked up to an ominous looking drip.  He seemed very still on the starched expanse of pillow, the essence of him somehow faded.  Her fantasy of a summer together seemed a lifetime ago.

She sat down and took his hand, careful of the splints.  The leather bracelet had gone, cut off or swept away in the floods, but the damage was done.  Jake opened his eyes, winced as he tried to smile.  His voice was barely a croak.

“Head hurts like hell.”

“Great bruise, though.  Much more sexy than a scar.  Should I get a nurse?”

“Running away already?  I’m good for now.”

Overwhelmed with relief she couldn’t think what to say, just sat there stroking his arm while he spoke.

“I remember the river, then nothing.”

“My husband got you out.”

“No shit?  I bet that killed him?  Crazy fucker, I can remember that bit.  You’re going back to him, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know.  We haven’t talked much yet.”

“But you want to?  I’m thinking we already had our goodbye shag?”

Tears scorched her throat.  “I doubt he’ll still want me after seeing that.”

“You think?  He’ll lay the guilt trip on you.  But he couldn’t be that crazy if he didn’t care.”

“When did you get to be so wise?”

“Could be this bash on the head.”  He raised his damaged hand to his temple.  “Not to mention a few squashed fingers.”

She coughed, still trying not to cry.  “What are you going to do about Ibiza?”

“I’m the front man and I can still sing.  We can play without sax for a while.  The punters will be too far gone to notice.”

She knew how brave he was being and hoped the others in the band would go for it, once they heard about the accident.  They wouldn’t want their big break ruined.  She didn’t want to dwell on her part in that.

“I need this gig.  I need the cash.  I quit my job and there’s nothing else lined up.  And I trashed the bike.  I’ll have to see my mate alright.”

She was horrified.  “You’re saying it wasn’t insured?”

“Didn’t seem worth it.  I was only borrowing it for a couple of days.  Didn’t know I’d be driving it into a river.”

“You know I’ll help?  It was my fault we went out in the first place.  My husband who chased us onto the bridge.”

“Maybe we should let him stump up.”

“If only.  He doesn’t have a job either, remember?”

“And you still want to go back to him?”

“I think I probably do, if he’ll have me.  We have fourteen years of history.  And a daughter to think about.  Nearly dying helps put things into perspective.”

She swallowed, felt swamped and sad.  She didn’t want to leave Jake but didn’t see how she could stay.

“These past few days have meant a lot to me, Jake.  I want you to know that.  I’m so grateful to you and I’ll never forget you.”

“But you’ll be happier without me?  He’s a lucky bastard.  I hope he appreciates you.”

“I hope so too.  I think I always loved him, even when I didn’t want to.”

“I’m thinking I loved you.”

“For four whole days?”

“Why not?  I’ll write a song about loving you when my fingers can move.”

“I’ll look forward to hearing it get to number one.”  Tears began to spill over her cheeks.  “You will be okay, won’t you?”

“Me?  I’m a rock god, remember.  All I need is an audience.”

“I’ll see you before you go.”

“No, don’t.  Too hard, babe.  No regrets but let’s just leave it at that?”

She grabbed a tissue from the locker to dab at her eyes.  They’d had a whole summer in a few short days.  A wonderful dream, hazy already.  She didn’t know what else to say, how to leave him.  It seemed so final just to get up and go.  In the end it was Jake who made it easy.

“You couldn’t go for that nurse?  My head’s fit to bust.”

She managed to choke back her tears until she got outside.  She didn’t care that it was teeming.  She held up her face and let the cool rain wash over her, mingling with her sadness and confusion about what to do next.

She’d stood up to Joe by leaving.  A part of her was proud of that and relieved he’d cared enough to come after her.  If it was true that he hadn’t been fired, maybe she’d overreacted and misjudged him.  In the scheme of things, a lost job was nothing compared to a lost life.  And despite everything he’d witnessed, Joe had saved both her life and Jake’s.

But Joe would never turn a blind eye to what he’d caught her doing.  So where did they go from there?

When she heard his footsteps, she wanted to smile in relief that he’d come back for her but she stopped herself when she couldn’t read his face.  He looked like he’d had a bath but he was still more dishevelled than she’d ever seen him.  He never wore jogging pants outside the house.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.  Why are you standing out here in the rain?  Is everything okay?”

“Jake’s fine, thank God.  I left him to sleep.  I’m so relieved.  If he’d died, I wouldn’t be able to bear it.”

As her voice threatened to break, Joe made her sit down in the smokers’ shelter.  He had tissues in the bag he’d brought back from the cottage.  She opened the packet gratefully, trying to pull herself together.

“I found you some clothes, not that you don’t look cute in mine.  And I’m quite taken by the rock-chick hair.  You always straighten it half to death.”

“I forgot my GHDs,” she sniffed.

“I noticed.  Bit of a clue that you left in a hurry. But I’m liking it wavy like that.  Probably better without the mud, though.  If you don’t mind me saying?”

She wasn’t sure she could handle him being all nice to her.  There was too much that needed to be said.  She shivered, hadn’t realised how chilly it was out there in the pouring rain.

“Here, put this on.”

He draped his jacket over her shoulders.  The denim was dry now but still a bit crusted with mud.  She barely recalled stuffing it into his holdall when she’d grabbed what she could from the car.  But she was grateful now as she slipped her arms into the sleeves.

“I remember this jacket.  I think I tried to throw it out once.”

“Only the once?”

“You must admit it’s a bit past its best?”

“What are you talking about?  It’s just coming into its prime.”

She smiled at the familiar argument.  The soft denim was so faded it was grey in places.  But maybe she ought to accept it was part of their history.

He passed her a brown paper bag containing coffee and a plastic cafeteria cake box.  “I brought your favourite.”

“Lemon meringue pie for breakfast?”

“Technically, it’s lunch.  Or maybe even afternoon tea, by now.”

The pie was like rubber but she was starving and touched that he’d thought of it.  And the hot coffee was welcome.

“Do you have to stick around here?” he asked.  “There’s stuff I need to discuss with you and I’m so sick of hospitals.”

She also had things she wanted to say.  “It would be good to talk away from here,” she agreed.

“Is it okay if I stay at the cottage tonight?  I can’t face another motel or that drive back up north, just yet.  The weather’s been appalling.  Sorry I brought it all with me.”

She smiled at the way he was still trying to be nice.  “Can you imagine what Granny Barbara would say if I sent you off to a hotel?”

“She never liked me, though, did she?” 

“She always said you could charm for England.”

“Well, obviously my charm didn’t work on her.  Or you, come to that.”

His charm usually worked too well on her.  It had always been her undoing.  Even now she wanted to be wrapped in his arms but she needed to remember how good he’d always been at looking hurt.  Whatever he wanted to discuss would probably end up being her fault. 

“So, do you want to get changed before we go?” he asked.  “It’ll be good to see you looking your usual self again.  Apart from the hair, that is.”

“Have you seen yours lately?  Although I don’t suppose you needed to bother with haircuts if you weren’t going into work?”

Why had she said that?  She wasn’t wanting to pick a fight, especially as she actually liked his hair longer.  But he was scowling at the ground and the gap between them felt suddenly vast.  She tried to sound contrite.

“Your head’s bleeding a bit.  Does it hurt?”

“I’ll live,” he snapped, snatching up the bag as he got up.  “Can we go now?”

He stalked away across the car park.  She could hardly keep up, her feet rubbed raw by her hard muddy boots.  Clearly he wasn’t going to wait for her to get changed.

She was relieved he didn’t make her drive.  They travelled for miles in silence, until she couldn’t stand it any longer.

“I hope there’s hot water for a bath.”

“Meaning you hope I didn’t use it all?”

“I meant the power’s been a bit erratic because of the weather.  The roof was leaking but Jake managed to do an emergency repair.”

“Is there no end to bloody Jake’s talents?”

Maybe it was good that he was jealous.  But she was too tired to have it out with him now.  She lay back, soothed by the soft leather seats in her car, and tried to change the subject.

“What’s happening with your hire car?  Did you manage to sort something out?”

“The local garage said they knew exactly where to find it.  Place is buzzing about the bridge collapsing apparently.”

“Did you tell them about Jake?”

“Why would I talk about Jake?  Does everyone know about you and him?”

But she didn’t have the strength to argue with him, or to explain the connection.  She let herself drift off and didn’t wake up until he’d pulled up outside the cottage.  His car was already there, efficiently cleaned and parked in the lane.

He didn’t say much and she didn’t want to prompt him, escaping upstairs as quickly as she could for the hot bath she’d been craving.  He’d tidied up, she noticed.  And he’d said he would heat up some soup before their chat.

It unnerved her that he was going to so much trouble to be nice.  What exactly was he planning to say?  Maybe she should get in there first and tell him she’d already  decided to come back.  But some instinct told her there  was a lot he hadn’t told her and she wondered how bad it could be.