Authors: Sue Lilley
“I was scared too,” he whispered, looking back at her over his shoulder. “I had all those fears from the first time to deal with again. Then it was over and it felt like the worst kind of punishment. The baby was gone and I nearly lost you aswell.”
“I didn’t know you cared about losing me. You never wanted me enough for that.”
“Evie, I know I treated you badly but I always cared. I admit you kicked me in the balls by walking out but I came after you, didn’t I? Why would I do that if I wasn’t bothered about losing you?”
She wiped her eyes. Her voice was a croak. “Maybe you left it too late. You don’t know how much I needed someone to want me.”
“Someone like Jake, you mean? It kills me that you love him. Christ! It wasn’t his baby, was it?”
His voice cracked and she saw that he was trying not to cry. She’d never seen him look like that before. For the first time, she had a sense of how much he did care, deep down. Did that mean they still had a chance to put things right?
“I realise how it looks but I only met Jake a few days ago.”
“What are you talking about? I know you. If you’re leaving me to run off with him, you have to be properly in love with him.”
Her stomach churned as he swiped the back of his hand across his face. He was glaring at her as if he didn’t recognise her but she clung onto the fact he’d just told her he didn’t want to lose her.
“It was more than a one night stand but I’m not in love with him. It was special and I’ll always be grateful. But I don’t need him any more.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means I said goodbye. This morning at the hospital, I told Jake it was over because I was ready to go home to you.”
“What?” He swung round on the rock to face her. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I didn’t get the chance. And now everything’s changed again. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think.”
“Think about us. I promise it can be better.”
She could hardly breathe as he took her hand and stared into her soul. She’d forgotten how long his eyelashes were. She’d always loved to kiss him there, to feel them fluttering on her cheek whenever he kissed her neck. But was she ready to trust him again?
“I know you’re wary,” he said. “Why wouldn’t you be? I’ve done things I’m not proud of but there’s one thing I want more than anything. I want you to look at me like I’m a hero, not a piece of shit you’ve trodden in.”
His voice broke again as he let go of her hand to lean back on the rock, his face held up to the rain. She had a sudden memory of baby Claire crawling up his chest. She’d fought so hard to keep her family together, it didn’t seem right to lose that now. But she felt overwhelmed by what he’d said and still not sure she dared to believe him.
“We could always get drunk and run away together?” he quipped. “I could take you to Ibiza?”
“I’ve had enough to drink, thanks. And real life isn’t about running away.”
“So, come back? I want you to.”
It was what she’d wanted to hear but it wasn’t enough. She took a deep breath, terrified of saying the wrong thing and ruining everything.
“We can’t just go back to the way things were. Maybe we need some time to think about it?”
“You’re saying you’re not going with Jake but you’re leaving me anyway?”
“What I’m saying is we need to do it right. Summer’s always a good time for thinking.”
“If you mean that, let’s have the summer here?”
He took both her hands, squinting through the rain to look at her. She couldn’t remember seeing him so serious and relieved. She couldn’t remember when she’d loved him more. Her heart flipped as she wondered how it could work.
“What about Claire?”
“Maxine would bring her, wouldn’t she? We could do all the family stuff, make the most of it before she wakes up one day as the teenage Goth from hell. We’ll go to Eden, the galleries in St Ives, the National Trust houses you always love?”
“But what about our house? Your course?”
“My course is at home in Newcastle. I never wanted to sell the house. I thought it was what you wanted. I just want you. Our family.”
“I can’t be your comfortable old shoes,” she stressed. “I won’t sit at home like some middle aged housewife while you’re picking up where you left off, enjoying the social scene with all the students.”
“It’s the work I’m interested in. I’d rather be enjoying myself with you. Twice now, I’ve nearly lost you and I never want to go through that again. You don’t have to worry about the debt thing, either. I’ll pay you back every penny and I won’t need flash suits to be a scruffy art student.”
He slipped his arms around her. She loved the way he felt, even if he was soaking wet. She liked the idea of him being a scruffy art student, he’d be much less driven and competitive. And he could let his hair grow. She loved it longer like this, when it curled enough to twirl her finger in it.
“If it’ll convince you, we could renew our vows?” he suggested. “I always felt guilty you didn’t get the dream wedding your dad wanted to give you.”
“Are you joking? My wedding was lovely, thank you.”
“Thank God for that,” he laughed. “Have I told you I always loved you? I was just too young and stupid to realise it.”
When he kissed her, she lost herself in the newness of it. The promise of better things to come, shared things they’d never had before. It would be a different kind of summer, special because they’d both thought it was over before it had really begun.
She broke away first. “There is one important condition. Chairs.”
“Chairs?”
“Kitchen chairs. I want new ones and I want to choose them this time.”
He laughed. “See what happens when you let me get my own way?”
“Won’t happen again, I promise.”
He kissed her again but he didn’t have to work too hard to convince her she was doing the right thing. Except for the bloody rain. And the bruises in places she never knew she had.
This time it was him who broke away. “I’m too old for christening rocks in the rain.”
“Not even our special rock?” she teased.
He pulled her to her feet, rubbing his thigh with a groan. “I vote we hobble back to the cottage and get this summer on the road?”
“Now that sounds like the perfect plan.”
The End
About the author
Sue Lilley has been a secret scribbler for years. Her practical exterior hides the soul of a daydreamer and compulsive people watcher. She loves a good story, especially feel-good escapism that makes you late for work because you can’t put it down and miss your stop. Another Summer is her first published novel but now that she’s forced herself out of the closet, there will be others. Watch out for HIGH HOPES, coming soon.