“So, for us...”
“I’ve never met you before in my life.”
Kyle worried his lip again, visibly calculating his options. He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not looking to repeat Saturday.”
“Don’t worry. One hookup doesn’t equal an ongoing commitment.”
Kyle’s eyes searched around, confirming no one sat within audible range. “I’m in the closet. I’m not even sure if I’m gay or bi or whatever. I’ve never even felt an urge for a guy before. I was thinking and I—”
Dustin cut off his rambling with another raised hand. He glanced around to further confirm their privacy. “I’m very much in the closet and I’m comfortable there. I don’t want to emerge. I’m not going to out you, don’t worry. I don’t care if you’re gay, bi, straight, or something else entirely. I enjoyed our encounter, but it will remain a private memory of mine. No one will hear of it and it will stay in the past.”
He really wanted to say he couldn’t stop thinking about Saturday, there had been an energy there more substantial and meaningful than simple animal lust, but he let those thoughts whither and die.
“So, what do we do from here?” Kyle asked.
Dustin nudged his textbooks with a finger. “I think you’re supposed to help me understand this stuff.”
As if shifting gears and giving into his duties, Kyle zipped open his backpack and pulled out a stack of loose-leaf paper and a handful of tutorial worksheets. Pencil in hand, Kyle leaned a bit closer. “Tell me where you’re at with linear algebra. What do you struggle with? And what do you confidently understand?”
Kyle’s delicious recently-chewed mint gum breath rolled across Dustin’s face. Dustin wanted to kiss him, to taste the breath and let it fill his mouth.
Infinitely better than being tutored by the amorphous blob of a man he thought was Kyle, this would also be infinitely more difficult since he’d have to reign in his lust on a regular basis.
Dustin flipped through the textbook. “Well,” he cleared his throat, “I think I understand the elementary row operations fine, though I seem to be prone to many tiny mistakes. Accidentally changing a positive to a negative and things along those lines. I understand the concept of an identity matrix, though I often have difficulty in creating one, but that’s probably due to my sloppy row operations. And I can barely attempt anything with the word ‘vector’ in the problem. I always get a completely different answer than the book.”
“Hmm.” Kyle tapped his pencil against the table, his long, delicate fingers brushing against the wood. Those fingers would go good in Dustin’s mouth...or sliding in and out of his ass. “I bet most of your problems are due to your row operations, especially if you continuously make minor errors, like you said. Fuck those up and you fuck up everything.”
Kyle’s eyes flashed wide, as if suddenly conscious he just swore twice in a professional context. Dustin smiled to assure him it was okay.
“I’ll have to examine some of your work and go through some questions with you to be sure your operations are your problem. It may also be you have a few other issues going on and fixing your row operations is just the first step.”
As he listened, Dustin surreptitiously scoped out the man before him. Kyle wore a short-sleeve shirt this time, exposing his arms. They were covered in just a light dusting of golden hair which darkened slightly as it approached his wrists. His arms, while not overly bulky, were made of very toned and defined muscle.
His eyes drifted across Kyle’s chest. Nicely defined pecs pulled the fabric tight and hung a little loose underneath. His nipples poked at the cotton, longing to be free, yearning to be licked and caressed.
Dustin became suddenly aware Kyle finished speaking long ago. His cheeks warmed with embarrassment as he met Kyle’s eyes. Kyle grinned self-consciously, but seemed flattered at the same time.
“Uh, yeah,” Dustin said, nervously. “So what’s your plan, oh, wise teacher?” He tried injecting some light humor, to gloss over being caught staring.
Kyle smiled pleasantly. His teeth shone, contained in a perfect grin. Light speckles of facial hair glimmered in the light, the blond color sparkling as he moved, like Prince Charming in an old animated fairy tale.
“We can start with you showing me how you’d proceed through a few basic problems.”
“Okay.” Dustin did his best to refrain from staring at Kyle’s perfect body. He flipped to a clean sheet in his notebook. “Give me a question.”
Kyle searched through his pile and pulled out a paper. His chair clattered loudly in the half-empty cafeteria as he inched closer to Dustin.
Dustin’s heart raced, threatening to punch through his ribcage. He blinked several times to tamp down the rising rush of heat. Despite his best efforts, Dustin knew a blush crept up his neck, slowly overtaking his cheeks.
“Here you go.” Kyle leaned forward to place the problem sheet just above the notebook. Their knees brushed in the movement and Dustin’s cock bounced. Rock hard the entire time, it now throbbed as the scent of Kyle’s body reached his nostrils.
“O-o-okay,” he stammered out. He wondered what was going on in Kyle’s mind—and his pants—right now. Did he fight to control his urges, too? Or feel nothing? He glanced at Kyle out of the corner of his eye, but it seemed he studiously avoided eye contact.
Dustin scribbled out the matrix from the question sheet. He managed to keep his hand steady enough, the numbers were legible. Silently, he worked out a few row operations.
“Hang on right there,” Kyle said, gently. “You made an error in the last step. Can you see it?”
Dustin couldn’t concentrate at all. The fact he managed to complete three steps without Kyle interrupting absolutely confounded him. His neurons simply weren’t firing properly, weren’t connecting or putting cohesive thoughts together. He scanned the system of numbers, willing himself into identifying his mistake.
Kyle picked up on his struggle. He pointed out a specific digit with his pencil, his hand brushing gently across Dustin’s. Kyle recoiled slightly at the accidental touch, inciting a desire deep inside Dustin to take his warm hand and hold it tightly.
What the fuck was going on with him? Never in his life had he felt like this around someone.
Dustin stared at the number Kyle pointed out. “Ah, I dropped the negative in rewriting the second line.” He fixed the error and continued.
They progressed through a few more problems, with Kyle interrupting him periodically to point out mistakes he really should have stopped making after the second lecture.
“So, when can we meet again?” Dustin asked as their allotted hour approached its end. He tried, and failed, to will the clock to go back several minutes to give them just a few more moments of togetherness.
Kyle pulled out his planner, laying it on the table before him. “We can meet next week at this time,” he said, avoiding the hungry stare Dustin gave him. Disappointment flooded through Dustin. He glanced at the planner. “I’d like to meet sooner so I can get these basics under my belt as quick as possible. I do have a test coming up, after all. Can we meet tomorrow? Even for just half an hour?”
Kyle tilted his head, weighing things. Likely, his indecision revolved entirely around what happened Saturday and nothing to do with his schedule. He finally made eye contact with Dustin and he could tell something—a wall of some sort—tumbled within him. “Yeah, I can squeeze you in tomorrow. Would ten in the morning work?”
Dustin tried not to let his erupting joy show on his face. “My history class ends at ten, so I might be a few minutes late, but I’ll be here!” He inwardly kicked himself for being too exuberant.
Kyle smiled and packed his things back into his bag.
“Thank you for your help, by the way.”
“No problem.”
Dustin didn’t want this special time to end. “So, did you say you’re in fourth year?”
Kyle zipped up his bag and sat it back down on the floor at his feet. “Yeah. My final year of my honors undergrad.”
Dustin did some mental calculations. Assuming Kyle started university right after high school, it would put him at about age twenty-one or twenty-two.
“And you?” Kyle said. “You’re doing first year courses? You don’t look eighteen.”
“No, I’m twenty. I worked full time for a couple years to reduce the amount of student debt I had to take on.”
“Wise man,” Kyle said. “I’m twenty-two, by the way. Are you planning to pursue math?”
Dustin laughed. “If I did, I think it wouldn’t bode well for me if I can’t do elementary row operations.” Kyle chuckled and his heart swelled at the sight of that happy face. “I’m trying a few different areas. I’ve been eyeing the international development program and might look into it for next year.”
“Ah, a man out to better the world. All I long to do is crunch some numbers, maybe solve a hypothesis or two.” Kyle glanced at the time on his phone. “I really have to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As he grabbed the straps of his backpack, Dustin was suddenly acutely aware of how his dick and balls ached for release, how they longed to be held or sucked by Kyle, or maybe even up the jock’s ass, though he didn’t peg him for a bottom, despite the pleasure he got from having his anus teased.
When Kyle stood up and swung his pack over his shoulder, the tight shirt stretched even more snugly across his beautiful chest and the bottom hem rose just enough to give a glimpse of the fine line of golden hair below his belly button. With his eyes drawn down there, Dustin couldn’t help but notice the significant bulge contained within Kyle’s pants—confirmation he wasn’t the only one flustered and turned on for the past hour.
Dustin didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, so he tore his eyes from his crotch. Kyle adjusted his pants, minimizing the protrusion.
“See you tomorrow.”
Dustin nodded. His groin ached, begging for release. He pulled out his phone to check the time. Jason should still be in class for another hour, so Dustin would have some privacy in their room if he hurried.
He shoved his things into his bag, flung it on his back, and walked quickly back to his dorm. As he hoped, Jason chose to actually attend class, leaving their small space empty.
Dustin fired up his laptop, unzipped his jeans and shoved them down around his knees along with his briefs, and sat in his desk chair. He typed in the address of his favorite clip site and set the volume to low. Within seconds he found a short video titled, “Twink takes jock in the ass,” and hit play.
The twink, with a tight and lean body, knelt on all fours as the muscular jock shoved his extra-large cock into his tight, shaved ass. Dustin grasped his dick in his hand as the screen shifted to a close-up of the cock sliding in and out of the hole. The twink moaned with pleasure and the jock grunted with aggression.
He stroked up and down in time with the thrusting on-screen. Dustin closed his eyes and the jock pounding the twink filled his mind, but it evolved. It shifted. In his mind, Kyle thrust into Dustin.
He’d only done anal twice—unpleasant and painful both times—but something about Kyle made him want to take him inside his body, to get as close to him as he could possibly get. He wanted to give himself to the jock.
Dustin sucked on the fingers of his left hand, getting them nice and wet, and reached between his legs, running them around his anus in a tight circle. His right fist continued to pump and his eyes remained closed, his mind filled with the sweaty thrusts of Kyle, accompanied by the moans and grunts from the video.
Dustin pressed his middle finger against his hole, feeling it flex and contract. Gently, slowly, he pushed it in, sliding it up to the first knuckle. He sped up his fist and his breathing quickened. Already near orgasm, his cock tingled.
He wiggled his fingertip, massaging the inside of his anus. A quivering feeling swam through his testicles and his heart doubled in speed. He gasped aloud as his body racked with convulsions and a thick stream of gooey cum flew up and splattered against his purple sweater, landing just under the neckline. Three more shots flew upward, never reaching the same height, but still leaving ropy white lines on his shirt.
Dustin gasped, gulping in air, catching his breath. His still-hard dick pulsed with every heartbeat, thick drops of cum rolling out of his slit and down his head. Slowly, the sensations ebbed and his cock shrank down to its flaccid state, leaving a curled hand slick with cum.
He wiped his hand on his sweater, adding to the mess, then carefully peeled it off, rolling it so all bodily fluids were safely in the middle then waddled over to the bathroom with his pants and underwear still around his knees. Dustin grabbed some toilet paper and wiped his hand and penis dry, then leaned over the sink and washed with soap.
He stared at himself in the mirror. Whenever he finished masturbating or hooking up with someone, he always felt unfulfilled and just a little bit dirty, as if he were some pervert who couldn’t control his base urges. But this time was different somehow...just like Saturday with Kyle.
Dustin still felt unfulfilled, but he didn’t feel dirty. He felt like something was missing...or rather, someone. He shut the line of thought down. Kyle would never accept anything serious or long term. Relationships in the gay world never worked out. He’d never seen or heard of a relationship lasting more than two weeks among his gay friends, only heard stories of disappointment and heartbreak, a life of continual misery. Dustin refused to allow himself develop any sort of feelings for Kyle.
The most he could hope for would be a regular hookup buddy, never a boyfriend.
Why leave the closet if it only ends in heartbreak?
Regular hookup buddies, like Kevin back in Barrie, were convenient, served the needs of both men, and could exist without relationship drama. Anything further unnecessarily complicated life and seemed doomed to failure.
He thought back to the tutoring session. Obviously, he’d thought with his dick and not his brain. He battled embarrassment at the way he acted and how he jolted at every touch or feeling of closeness. This was only lust he felt, a deeper lust, yes, but lust all the same. The unexpected depth threw him into this weird headspace.