Autumn Leaves (5 page)

“I’m wondering if I made a big mistake by moving here,” Callie said.

“What? Why?”

“Don’t you think I haven’t seen the people staring at me in church, and not just there?”

“You’re the new kid in town. It’ll ease up.”

Startled, Rebecca realized how much she really wanted Callie to believe this, not change her mind on Autumn Leaves. She didn’t want her to leave. Callie looked up at her. In her gaze was something Rebecca couldn’t quite define, but it made her let go immediately.

“You’ll be fine,” she said quickly. “Did I tell you David and I are taking the kids to Disneyland for the holidays?”

“Oh. Cool,” Callie returned with slightly forced enthusiasm. “The girls are gonna love it.”

“I’m not so sure.” Rebecca wondered why her hands were unsteady as she filled water into the coffeemaker. “Maggie, yes, she’s been wanting this forever. Dina isn’t so fond of doing things with Mom and Dad anymore.”

“She’s a teenager. It will pass. Besides, once Maggie’s that age, she’ll be a responsible adult, and it will all be easier the second time around.”

“Thanks, Doctor Phil,” Rebecca said wryly and finally hit the button on the coffeemaker. “It’s really hard to think of them as adults when I’ve barely gotten used to the fact they’re not babies anymore.”

“Oh, but they’re gonna be all right,” Callie predicted. Somewhat more awake, she opened cupboards and cabinets, starting to set the table. “They’ve got good parents. You never know. Dina might go into politics or law.”

“That would be great. Sometimes I wonder, though, if I even have the right to expect of them what I didn’t manage.”

“What you didn’t—come on, look at this woman. I wish I could achieve half of the things during the day. You’re a wonderful person, Rebecca. Your girls know that.”

“You’re hung over, so we better get to that coffee soon, pretend daughter.”

“You’re not still hung up on that stupid joke?” Callie shook her head. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I could think of something different—but since you’re happily married, I won’t.”

It was just the usual banter between them, Rebecca told herself. No reason to be flattered. No reason to feel uncomfortable, or anything at all.

“You’ll stay for breakfast?” Callie asked hopefully.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. David’s gone into the office, and the mayor wants to see me about another possible project. We’ll meet for lunch later.”

“Okay. We’re still on for Wednesday?”

“Girls’ afternoon? Sure. You get some work done, make the editor lady happy. I’ll see you later.”

Rebecca hugged her quickly, because obviously that was okay between them now. She took care not to hold on too long.

* * * *

“Rebecca, it’s good to see you!” Carl Beckett, who was the mayor of Autumn Leaves for the past five years, shook her hand, smiling. They had scheduled another meeting at the town hall to finalize their contract. “Have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”

“No thanks,” she said. Only eleven in the morning, and she was already jittery enough. “About the website.”

“As I told you, everybody loves it. It was well worth the investment. I talked to Father Langdon a few days ago. He wants to launch a new project for youths. I’ve been thinking of you. I know you don’t take many commissions, but maybe you could make time for this one.”

Truth be told, after the town’s site, Rebecca looked forward to a somewhat slower schedule. Still, it sounded interesting.

“I’m afraid, though, they can’t pay much.”

“That’s fine. I’m aware it wouldn’t be that kind of commission. In the end, it’s for a good cause.”

“I can tell the good father you said yes?”

Rebecca laughed, shaking her head. “Tell him to call me. I’ll look into it.”

David was already there in the café where they had decided to meet for lunch, reading the newspaper over a cappuccino. Rebecca stood in the doorway for a moment, once again telling herself how lucky she was. She was living exactly the life she wanted, with the man of her dreams, a wonderful family. She was able to carve out a niche for that job of hers. Not many people could truly say they had it all. Except...

She sighed, thinking that in less than forty-eight hours, David would leave again. It was good to know that good conversation, coffee, and laughter were waiting for her just across the street. Thinking of Callie and their midweek plans, Rebecca smiled. Yes, she was truly lucky.

“Hey.” Upon noticing her, David folded the newspaper and laid it aside. He got up to pull out her chair, quickly kissing her in greeting. “How did it go?”

“Perfect. Yours?”

“Same old.” He shook his head with a smile. “My wife is having business meetings with the mayor. I’m so proud of you. They were happy with what you did? I told you so.”

“They were. There’s something else...” Before Rebecca could finish her sentence, the waitress came to their table and they chose their lunch, the only vegetarian dish on the menu.

“It’s something new, a church-related project,” Rebecca continued when they were alone again.

David frowned slightly. “I thought you didn’t want to take on anything new at the moment.”

“David, it’s just one small project. I think I can handle that.”

“You must know.” His voice was level, but Rebecca could sense he wasn’t entirely pleased. David would not express it by raising his voice, especially not in a public place.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not.” On the table, he took her hand. “You know you don’t have to do it, right?”

Rebecca thought of Beckett’s words and that this commission would hardly pay for a new car or anything. Which wasn’t the point anyway.

“I know I don’t have to. You said it yourself, I’m good at it.”

“Yes, you are. I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

“It’s all right,” Rebecca said, though if she was really honest, it wasn’t. She smiled.

“Let’s book that Disney trip then, shall we?”

* * * *

Maggie enjoyed Callie’s book, and to Rebecca’s relief, she didn’t ask any questions about the lesbian moms. In the evening, David went over to see his brother after dinner, which gave Rebecca time to curl up in bed with a book:
Heart Fever
, a novel written by her lovely neighbor Callie Bryan.

She wasn’t really stalling but there was just no time at all. She wanted to give Callie some feedback when they met on Wednesday, as qualified as hers could be on the subject anyway.

It was...interesting, for the lack of a better word. Rebecca thought her world was really just a small sliver of the whole. She had learned that a person needed a certain flexibility in life. You couldn’t hang on too hard to your plans and dreams, or you’d live a life disappointed. Still, she’d known what she wanted: a place to call home—
how’s that for clichés?—
a family to share it with, to be comfortable in her own skin.

She’d never given much thought to women who were attracted to other women, let alone how they’d manage to date or what lives they envisioned for themselves. It seemed complicated, to say the least. She liked the characters Callie had created, Sabine, the closeted lawyer, and Vanessa, the nurse who worked with Sabine’s brother. Their love story was told in a gentle, enjoyable way, and Rebecca’s worries were finally eased after a hundred of pages. What had she expected anyway? She was curious, and reluctant. Still, in a touching story, engaging characters stayed the same, no matter what their gender was. No matter if it was two women, talking together, laughing...
Whoa.
Kissing. Okay, that was all for now, only halfway into the book. No reason to blush. There was certainly more drama to come
.

I’m sorry. I love you, but I won’t deny who I am, not for you, and certainly not for your brother’s reputation.

More kissing on page 150. Rebecca felt slightly out of her league, but more than that, she now wanted to know how the story ended, and to her surprise, she wanted the two women to be together. How that was going to work, in a novel, in the real world, Rebecca had no idea. Callie had though. Rebecca laid the paperback aside for a moment, wondering why her face felt this warm all of a sudden. She’d certainly read more graphic scenes before. Then again, she’d never discussed them with the author. Not that she would have to. Anyway.

When Rebecca turned off the lights, David hadn’t yet returned, but she got a lot more to think about. In the darkness of her bedroom, she wondered what it would be like, to feel this much for another woman. To want her. To be with her. Slightly embarrassed, but not stopping herself nonetheless, she wondered about the women Callie had been with. All of a sudden, she felt alone, and restless, the images in her head lingering, stealing her sleep. It didn’t mean anything.

* * * *

The week went on at full speed, school and practice for the girls, a call from Father Langdon, David preparing to leave again. Though she didn’t have a lot of time to stop and think, the restlessness stayed with Rebecca.
Early menopause
, she thought and snorted at her mirror image. If a simple love story got her this worked up, then she was definitely not spending enough time with her husband. The problem was, David tended to moan about the frequent traveling some, but truth be told, he liked the challenge of his job. When it came to negotiating contracts, he was the best. There talk about him working more permanently from the office near Autumn Leaves, but David was worth more to the company if he was out there, securing deals for them.

There goes my sex life,
she thought,
blushing over written words
. Beautifully written words, she had to give Callie that.

“What are you thinking?” David asked.

I’m thinking that I’m going to hate to be alone again, though I’d never tell you. I’m thinking about what it would feel like if it was a woman running her hand over my hair like this.
He was still here with her, and she already missed him.

“Hold me?” she asked, and he did. She never answered his question.

* * * *

After getting the details about the website from Father Langdon, Rebecca intended to pay Betty a brief visit. Charles junior, a shy, withdrawn teenager, opened the door to her.

“Mom is not here,” he informed her. He didn’t seem to care either way. It was supposed to be an age thing, getting better with time. Wasn’t it? Rebecca wasn’t sure if she could deal with the uncertainty. Twice.

“Is she going to be back soon?” she prompted when Charles, nicknamed Chip, didn’t say anything.

“Twenty minutes, I guess.”

“That’s okay, I’ll wait.”

“Knock yourself out.”

Rebecca kept the friendly smile though she had the slight impulse to shake him. “How’s school?”

He gave her a disdainful look. “You’re not really interested in that, are you, Mrs. Lowman?”

“What makes you think that? I’m asking you. That should mean I’m interested, right?”

“Why would you, if Mom and Dad aren’t?”

“I’m sure they are.” Rebecca knew from Betty that Charles was being bullied at school. Betty had a hard time, not wanting to interfere too much, wanting him to stand up for himself. Technically, Rebecca understood that. If it was one of her girls, though, she might get the shotgun that had belonged to David’s grandfather and was kept in a locked cabinet in the basement. Standing up for oneself was generally a great thing, but she wouldn’t take any chances.

“Next year, I’m going to leave this freak town behind. That’s all I care about.”

While freak town was certainly a harsh way to put it, Rebecca could sympathize. Going away for college would do him some good.

“Good luck then, whatever you decide.”

“Sure, Mrs. Lowman.”

Rebecca acknowledged this was going to be as much of a “thank you” as she was going to get from the teen.

“I guess I can’t wait after all,” she said. “Could you please tell your mom I’m going to call her?”

“Will do,” Charles promised.

It wasn’t like she had a lot of time to spare, but after jotting down a first few ideas for the church project, Rebecca sat down with a slightly stale coffee, reading the last chapter of
Heart Fever
again. She was going to give the books back today, after all. She could even ask Callie for more, or order them on the internet. She could find various more ways to risk the easy friendship they had found.

Rebecca closed the book soundly and went back into the bedroom to put it on the shelf there. She had a girls’ afternoon to prepare for.

Chapter Three

“How’s the country life agreeing with you? You’re bored out of your wits, right?”

“Well...not exactly. I’m writing, like I’m supposed to be.” Callie had finally relented and picked up the phone on Asha Malik’s fifth call. Her editor sounded much too pleased with herself. Callie wasn’t pleased. Life in Autumn Leaves, with small exceptions, had been peaceful so far. She didn’t want anything, or anyone of her past life to intrude on that. God, she was starting to sound like her mother.