Authors: Barbara Winkes
Tags: #Relationships, #Romance, #gay, #Barbara Winkes, #GLBT, #Contemporary, #love story, #autumn, #Coming-Out, #Autumn Leaves, #Lesbian, #women
“That’s good. Very good, darling. Still, I think I should come over and convince myself of that. What do you think? This weekend?”
“Asha. I don’t know. Can’t you just give me a couple of weeks more?”
There was a moment of silence, then Asha asked, “Are you okay?”
“Sure I am,” Callie said, cautious of Asha’s attempt to get information. “The people of the town are all very nice so far.”
“Anyone in particular?”
“By very nice I mean they leave me be which is exactly what I need!” Her words had come out a lot more testily than Callie had them intended to, and of course Asha wasn’t stupid.
“Something’s on your mind, darling.”
“Something’s always on my mind. I’m a writer, remember?”
“Yeah, there’s that. I sense trouble though.”
Callie sighed. “Don’t leave your day job, will you? You suck as a medium.”
“Is she in the closet?”
“Asha, leave me alone. I write eight hours a day. I fall into bed at 2:00 a.m., I dream about those characters, I get up at nine and start over again. It’s a wonderful life.”
“Aw, baby.”
“Don’t call me names.”
“I’m coming over this weekend,” Asha decided. “I’ve been told to check on your progress, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Can’t wait to see you!”
“But—”
Callie stared at the phone incredulously, shaking her head though there was no one to see it. She hadn’t quite answered Rebecca’s question when they’d met in church. The truth was, she did believe in God, and that He was laughing at people’s plans. He should be fairly amused right now.
Across the street, a car parked and little Maggie emerged from the passenger’s seat, another mom bringing her home from school. Callie watched her with a misplaced sense of longing. She’d never wanted children though she was writing books for them every now and then. Maybe that was more for an inner child who was still searching. The answers she got as a real child remained sketchy.
When she came to Autumn Leaves, Callie thought she had finally found a home, a temporary one at least. Asha’s call had rattled her, reminding her that she probably could not hide out here forever. Asha got it all wrong. Callie wasn’t looking for a relationship. She knew that you couldn’t live in a town like this without forming alliances. It was helpful, and convenient to have neighbors who had welcomed her. She valued Rebecca’s friendship because it was the safest she’d felt in some time. There wasn’t anything else. There couldn’t be. If that wasn’t true, she’d lie to her own face in the mirror as long as she had to.
When the bell rang, she all but ran to answer it. So much for pretending. Callie was reminded of the day she’d opened the door, intent on giving the unreliable small-town plumber a piece of her mind, only to find her neighbor with a housewarming gift. Rebecca, beautiful and clueless, a mother of two. Callie knew she couldn’t allow her mind to go to all the places it longed to, but at least she could be excited about spending an afternoon with her new friend.
Unexpectedly, Callie found a smiling Maggie on her doorstep, followed by Rebecca who looked apologetic. It wasn’t what Callie had envisioned, but the girl was agreeable as far as eight-year-olds were concerned, so she didn’t mind. Not too much anyway.
“Callie, I’m so sorry. I’ve got a big favor to ask.”
“Whatever you need.” The words rolled off her tongue too easily.
“Dina just called. I need to pick her up, like, an hour ago. She’s with a friend who lives out of town, obviously it’s horrible, and she needs to come home this moment. David left this morning and...I was wondering if Maggie could stay just for a couple of hours?”
“Oh. Sure.” Callie didn’t know what else to say. She made an effort not to let her disappointment show. The prospect of babysitting scared her quite a bit, but then again, Maggie wasn’t that little. Surely the time could be filled with homework and a movie?
“Rain check on the girls’ afternoon?”
“Of course. I’ll see you two later then. You’re the best. Thank you.”
Rebecca leaned forward to kiss her cheek then turned to head for her car. Callie could only stand and stare. She reached up to touch her cheek, thinking that for this, she might just be able to forgive for the change in plans.
“Okay, so come on in,” she told Maggie. “You brought homework, right?”
“All done,” the girl beamed.
“Oh, wow. That’s...awesome. Great. Would you like some chocolate?”
“Yes!” In a split second, Maggie remembered. “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. Let’s see how much I can spoil you in two hours,” Callie murmured to herself. To the girl, she said, “I hear you’re all going to Disneyland soon. I bet you’re really excited about that.”
Maggie nodded.
“Then I’m pretty sure you’re going to like this movie.” Callie didn’t think it was a good idea to ask Maggie if she’d liked the book without Rebecca around. She’d save that for later. Educating hypothetical children was fine, but she didn’t want to get in the line of fire with a parent, especially if said parent was Rebecca Lowman. Callie carried the box of chocolates and Maggie’s apple juice into the living room, reaching for the only Disney movie she owned. She’d known it would come in handy at some point.
They watched in silence, until Maggie asked, “Why are they mean to Esmeralda?”
“I guess it’s because she’s different.”
Maggie considered that for a while. “You’re different,” she said.
“How so?” Damn small-town talk, and damn smart children picking it up. Callie didn’t want to believe Rebecca would participate in those silly games, but...
No but. Children pick up that kind of talk anywhere.
“You’re all by yourself,” Maggie said with a shrug. “Aren’t you scared sometimes?”
“Not so much. Did anybody say something about that? Your mom or dad?”
The girl shook her head. “No. It’s just that I have Dina, even though she is mean sometimes, and Mom and Dad. I wouldn’t like to be alone. Don’t you want to get married?”
This was a golden opportunity to educate Maggie on marriage equality and state law, but Callie didn’t care to. With Asha’s impending visit, an uncertain future, and a past too close behind she had enough on her plate.
“I’d like to, some day. I just haven’t found the right person yet.”
Apparently, that made sense to Maggie. “Okay,” she said, turning back to the movie.
Callie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Callie?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“If you get scared, you can always come to us.”
“That’s nice. Thank you very much.” Callie felt her vision blur all of a sudden. They watched the rest of the movie in silence, Maggie, because she was now engrossed in the story and Callie, because she didn’t trust her voice.
* * * *
It was 7:50 a.m. when the doorbell jolted her out of a pleasant dream. Callie was determined to yell at the visitor, whoever it might be. Granted, if it was Rebecca meaning to reschedule some time together, Callie might have cut her some slack. She much preferred her dreamland to reality at the moment though. She’d stared at the screen for a long time last night, writing excruciating paragraph by paragraph. For the first time she’d moved to Autumn Leaves, she was utterly and completely blocked.
Callie thought she could handle her familiar issues, but little Maggie Lowman’s interrogation had rattled her more than she’d thought. Everybody had warned her when she decided against selling Aunt Valerie’s house. Asha, for one, and it was also the first thing in years that her brother and mother had agreed on. They’d predicted she’d regret this move after a week. Callie was admittedly uncertain regarding a lot of things these days, but she also knew she wouldn’t make a decision until this book was finished. The doorbell rang for a second time.
“Coming,” she grumbled, fumbling for her robe. In order to help with the lack of inspiration, she had tried coffee, some of the chocolate she’d shared with Maggie, and also the wine that Rebecca had brought on her very first visit.
“Cal! It’s so good to see you!” A cheery Asha greeted her.
“It’s eight in the morning,” Callie said, accusatory, by way of greeting.
“Yeah, so? I left at five this morning, beautiful sunrise, almost no traffic. Are you going to let me in?”
“I guess I’ll have to. I need those royalty checks.”
Asha laughed. “As good a reason as any. I take it you don’t have breakfast ready? Want to go out?”
“I need to shower. Wake up. Maybe later.” If she could just annoy Asha enough, she wouldn’t stay too long?
“Okay. I’ll wait. You know what, Callie? You’re actually looking better than you have in a while.”
“Thanks. I guess.”
“I mean it. You’re taking long walks under the fall trees? That’s romantic.”
Callie hadn’t left the house much except for some inevitable grocery shopping and church on Sundays, but she wasn’t going to share that.
“If you say so.”
“I’m just glad you’re doing better.” Asha leaned forward to kiss her, lingering when Callie didn’t pull away immediately.
“That’s a bad idea,” Callie said.
“If you say so...” Asha smiled.
Casting her guest a dirty look, Callie left her standing in the kitchen as she headed for her bathroom.
* * * *
“Callie? Anybody home?” Rebecca stepped inside, clutching the pot to her chest with one hand, closing the door with the other. After canceling on Callie last minute and forcing the babysitter job on her, her friend truly deserved some homemade lunch, especially since she wouldn’t cook it for herself. That Rebecca’s rationalization. The truth was, after the latest crisis regarding Dina, Rebecca was looking forward to a small time-out. They hadn’t really had time to talk in some time.
“Obviously not,” she murmured to herself, “so I’m just gonna...Whoa!” Rebecca nearly dropped the pot when she saw the woman sitting at Callie’s kitchen table who studied her with an amused smile.
“Hello there. I was just dropping this off.”
“Lunch?” The woman’s smile widened, and Rebecca instantly felt like the worst cliché of a hovering housewife.
“Callie’s working hard on her deadline,” she said defensively.
“I should hope so. I’m Asha. Her editor.”
“Oh.” Rebecca now recognized her as one of the friends who had helped Callie move in, the one who had complained about the weight of wisdom.
“Rebecca Lowman. I live across the street.”
“Of course you do,” Asha said in a conspiring tone. Without getting up, she turned to the bedroom door and called, “Hey! Cal! It’s your hot MILF neighbor!”
Rebecca was quite sure there was an insult somewhere in there, but she didn’t want to embarrass herself further by asking.
Callie appeared from the bedroom, drying her hair with a fluffy white towel. “I see you met Asha,” she said with obvious disapproval. “She’s my editor. She also might still be my girlfriend if she didn’t have the vocabulary of a fifteen-year-old boy in public.”
Asha laughed. “You never complained about my vocabulary before...”
“I do now. I’m thinking we were done here?”
Rebecca flinched slightly, wondering if she’d just gotten into the middle of an argument.
“I guess we are,” Asha said after a long look to Rebecca. “Have fun girls. I’ll just come back whenever you have that writing sample ready for me.”
“Speaking of which,” Rebecca said, trying not to stare after Asha sauntering out the door, “I brought your books too.”
“Oh no,” Callie said when Rebecca laid the books onto the table. “I meant for you to keep them. I’ve got plenty.”
“Okay. Good. Thanks.” Rebecca picked them up again, standing, indecisive for a moment.
“I...I’m sorry to interrupt. You have business to do.”
Callie shrugged. “She should know better than wanting to do business before 10:00 a.m.”
“Right. You stayed up late last night, so I thought you wouldn’t be in the mood for cooking. Here’s lunch if you want.”
Callie gave her a knowing smile. “You checking up on me?”
“I guess it’s the mommy instinct.”
“Frankly, I don’t think that’s all.” She didn’t elaborate. “Maggie was lovely though. She can stay over any time she wants to.”
“Great, thank you. Just try not to feed her chocolate every time?”
There was another thing weighing on Rebecca’s mind. Betty pretty abrupt on the phone, informing her that she had her own family issues to deal at the moment. Sorry, but no, Maggie couldn’t come over on a five-minute advance warning. Rebecca was almost dreading this Saturday brunch at Maria’s.
“Did Maggie like it?” Callie asked when the silence between them dragged on. It took Rebecca a moment to realize she was talking about the book.
“I think so. It was nice, just right for her age.” Now there was the opportunity to ask.
“I was just wondering...”
“Yes?”
There was the hint of a smile on Callie’s face as she probably expected a statement on the other book. Rebecca wasn’t ready for that yet. “Look, I get what you’re saying, but honestly, I think we should spare kids politics a little longer.”