Baby Makes Six (10 page)

Now that Eddie knew about the baby and was accompanying her to the doctor, Shawn knew it was time to tell the girls, as well. She’d briefly thought about asking Eddie to join her for the announcement, but after talking to him about the pros and cons, they’d both decided it would be best if she did this on her own. The girls were just getting used to their separation. Eddie had Jayne now, too. The last thing the girls needed was to view their parents as a couple again.

It was going to be a tough discussion, Shawn was sure of that. However, it was time to start planning for the future, instead of sitting around, regretting the past.

With that in mind, she joined Kit and Mary in the playroom. They were currently using old Lincoln Logs to make homes for tiny stuffed animals—all toys Eddie’s parents had collected and saved from Eddie’s and Melanie’s childhood. “Girls, come here for a moment, would you? Mommy needs to talk to you.”

“What is it?” Kit asked, her hand still clutching a tiny tiger.

Mary smiled hopefully. “Are we going to go to the zoo?”

Oh, the zoo was Mary’s favorite place in the world.
“No, it’s something even more special than the zoo, if you can imagine that.”

After lowering herself across from them on the carpeting, Shawn crossed her legs and reminded herself to keep her voice even and neutral. It was tough because she was feeling nervous. This was an important event and how she broke the news to the girls was going to set the stage for how they felt about the baby in the months to come. “We’re going to have another baby in the family.”

“Whose baby are we gonna have?” Kit asked.

Well, that was something Shawn hadn’t figured on. “Mine. I’m going to have another baby. Mommy’s pregnant.”

Both girls stared at her belly. Mary scrunched up her face. “But we don’t need another baby. We have Elsie.”

“Elsie’s almost a big girl now. And, um, I guess other plans were in store for us. Come September, we’ll have another Wagner.” As the girls stared at her in wonder, Shawn shifted her position on the floor. Oh, how had this happened? In the past eighteen months she’d lost a husband and gained a baby.

“I don’t want her!” Kit cried.

“Me, neither,” Mary said with a frown. “Where’s she gonna sleep?”

Funny how even the girls assumed a girl was on the way. “She’ll sleep in my room for a time, then I guess we’ll see.” Thinking about logistics made it seem so much more real. “Either you two can share a room, or one of you can share with Elsie, and the baby will have the old nursery.”

“I’m the oldest,” Kit said. “I get my own room.”

“That’s not fair!” Mary teared up. “I wanna be the oldest.”

Kit raised her chin. “I’m always going to be the oldest. Always.”

When Mary started crying in earnest, Shawn leaned back against the wall. “Settle down now,” she said. “All this arguing is going to wake up the baby.”

Kit shook her head. “You mean
Elsie.
We’ve got a baby coming.” Still looking resentful, she added, “Another one.”

Sobbing, Mary threw herself into Shawn’s lap. Shawn caught her with ease, all the while wishing things were different.

Wishing she didn’t feel like the lone barrier between her precious daughters and the rest of the world.

Wishing someone was around to hold her.

Still holding the tiger, Kit said, “What about Daddy?”

There was a time for truth and a time to paint pretty pictures. “Daddy’s excited about the baby.” Well, that wasn’t necessarily a lie. He was sure to be excited once he had worked through his shock.

“So he’s coming back? Coming back to us?”

“No.”

Mary looked crushed. “Why not?”

“Because things between Daddy and me haven’t changed. Even though he’s excited, he’s not going to move back home. We’ll still live in separate houses.”

Kit looked around their bright blue-and-white kitchen. “It’ll still just be us here and Daddy at his place.”

Mary nodded. “Daddy has to stay in his green kitchen with the seashells across the top.”

“Uh, yes. But it’ll still be okay.”

“We know.”

“Mary, you sure?”

“You and Daddy said you don’t want to be married to each other. Not anymore.” The statement was almost exactly what Shawn had said a hundred times.

Now that Mary’s tears were finally dried up, Shawn got to her feet. “We’re going to be just fine,” she said. “I promise.”

Kit reached out and patted her stomach. “And the baby, too.”

Since the baby was moving, Shawn slipped her hand over Kit’s and moved it so she could feel the baby, too. “That’s right. The baby will be fine, too.”

E
DDIE HAD PUT IT OFF
as long as he could. He’d dodged dates with Jayne by citing problems at work, visits with the girls and sheer exhaustion.

But he couldn’t do it any longer. No one had to tell him that he had to break the news to Jayne. If he ever wanted their relationship to be stronger, he had to trust her to accept his past and all the baggage that came with it.

She was a mature, confident, together person. He was sure they could weather this latest bit of news. Somehow.

But still, without a doubt, he had definitely picked the absolute worst time to tell Jayne about the baby. No, that wasn’t true. He hadn’t actually picked the time—he just couldn’t take it any longer.

Time couldn’t go any slower. And his starched collar felt tight, like it had him in a choke hold. The whole affair, an engagement party for a woman Jayne taught with, was too extravagant for his tastes. Champagne flowed, the scent of roses was so thick you could almost taste it, and Jayne clung to his arm like she was looking forward to announcing their engagement soon.

Talk of love and newlyweds and honeymoons filled the air, making Eddie feel even older and more jaded than he already did.

Dressed in a sequined black chiffon gown and her
beautiful hair twisted into some kind of crown at the top of her head, Jayne looked like a princess.

As they moved from group to group, Jayne introduced him, smiled flirtatiously and made sure everyone there knew he was hers. “He’s a sergeant, you know,” she said time and again, clutching his hand in hers. “And he was an officer in the Army for years before that.”

The men and women all nodded a welcome, or worse—looked like he was about to write them a ticket and stuttered out something nonsensical.

He, in turn, pretended he was having the time of his life.

It was damned awkward. He should have begged off, instead of feeling so obliged to attend. It shouldn’t matter that he’d said yes a month ago, when things in his life were far different.

Two months ago, he would have felt proud to be by her side. Now, though, he was a bit uncomfortable.

Yes, that had to be the reason for his unsettled feelings. Not the fact that he couldn’t completely put out of his mind the memory of holding Shawn at the doctor’s office. Surely, as soon as he revealed the news to Jayne, they’d be back to moving things forward again. “How much longer do you want to stay, Jayne?”

“Oh, Eddie, are you ready to get out of here? So soon?” Promise lit her green eyes. In spite of the direction his mind was going, parts of him still perked up, which really made him feel like a jerk. He should have more control.

But…damn. She was an attractive woman, and that was a fact.

But it wasn’t enough anymore. Hell, maybe it had never been enough. He’d had something special with Shawn. Something deeper and more meaningful than simple sexual attraction.

Though, if his behavior in her doctor’s office was any indication, there certainly was still that.

He felt like his future had just been decided without any say-so from himself. And it was aggravating and made him feel like a rookie cop reporting in the first day on the job.

“I want to talk to you about something. It’s kind of important.” Eddie barely refrained from rolling his eyes. His news was “kind of” real important.

“I’ll get my wrap.”

Thirty minutes later, Jayne was looking at him like he’d just sprouted horns on his head. “I’m sorry, but I still don’t understand. You said you’d moved on.”

“I had.” Feeling ineffectual, he shrugged. “Believe me, there’s nothing you could say that I haven’t said to myself already.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for another relationship?”

That, he could answer. “Definitely.”

Jayne looked him over again. After a moment she sighed. “Eddie, I’m going to be honest with you. I thought we were heading toward marriage. Not next week or anything, but I thought you cared about me. I thought we had a future.”

“I do care about you.” At least, he thought he did. He wasn’t ready to lose her. “You know, there’s no rush, is there? Maybe we can slow things down. Take things one day at a time.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

He hugged her because he wasn’t sure if he felt the same way and he didn’t want to lie. But, Eddie thought, he could love Jayne. One day.

Maybe.

When they parted, he murmured, “If you want to break things off, I’ll understand.”

“I’m not sure what I want.” Wiping her cheek with a knuckle, she murmured, “Maybe I just need some time.”

“You’ll have it.” As he looked at her again, at her pretty features, at her tremulous smile, he felt completely at a loss. With himself, with the circumstances. “It’s no excuse, but I want you to know that I didn’t mean for all this to happen. It was just one night. And it was an accident.”

“Accidents involve cars and trees, Eddie. Or spilled milk. Or a thousand other little things.” With a sad shake of her head, she added, “Accidents do not entail sleeping with ex-wives. Do you still love her?”

“No,” he said quickly. “I mean, not in a romantic sense. She is the mother of my children, though.”

“You are loyal.” She pursed her lips. “Well, I guess that’s something.”

“I’m going to take you home.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Of course. But be warned, I may not pick up the phone.”

That was the Jayne he knew. Sweet, but with a bit of spunk. Maybe things were going to work out, after all. “I’ll keep trying.”

Later, after dropping her off and heading on home, Eddie was surprised to realize that all the tension he’d thought would leave as soon as he was open with Jayne was still resting in his shoulders, alive and well.

No, things hadn’t gotten any easier. Just a whole lot more complicated.

“Elsie is sick,” Mrs. Henderson said over the phone, very succinctly and clearly. “You should not have brought her in today. Frankly I’m surprised that you could be so thoughtless about the welfare of the other children in my care.”

Just when Shawn had thought she’d heard it all, her babysitter came up with a new way to insult her. But this was a new low.

Staring at her mess of a desk—cluttered with her new, very annoying food diary, notes from her latest phone conversations and two granola bar wrappers, Shawn tried to make her see reason. “Elsie is teething. I think that’s why her stomach is so upset.”

“I have six other children to look after. I cannot afford to be changing one child’s clothes every hour.”

It had been once in three hours—and had never happened before. “Like I said, I don’t think she’s sick.”

“Yet…she is.”

Straining for patience, Shawn tried again. “See, Mary’s stomach acted up when she was getting molars, too. Don’t you remember?”

“Mrs. Wagner, when may I expect you?”

Mrs. Henderson had won the battle. “I’ll be there within the hour. That’s as quick as I can make it.”

“I’ll be waiting. Thank you.”

Shawn couldn’t help but groan when she hung up the phone. Oh, the nerve of that woman! She seemed to love to treat Shawn like a truculent teen, giving her little more than a miserly smile. Never giving her more than an inch of leeway. In short, Mrs. Henderson seemed to revel in making Shawn feel like a failure.

Oh, yes. She was very good at that.

Just as she was getting ready to dial Ramona’s number and tell her that she was going to clock out, her boss appeared down the aisle. “I was just about to call you,” Shawn said as soon as her boss approached. “I’m having trouble with my babysitter. Again. Elsie’s molars are coming in. She’s hurting and fussy and has a bit of an upset stomach. Mrs. H. wants me to pick her up right now.”

Ramona frowned. “I don’t know much about babies, but that seems a bit drastic, don’t you think?” She glanced at the clock on the far wall. “You’ve only been here two hours.”

“Tell me about it. I’m going to have to make up today’s time. Even staying here half a day would have helped my schedule.”

“You can’t explain things to her?”

“No, I’m sorry. To you, Elsie is teething. To me, Elsie is teething and is in pain and needs some extra love and attention. To Mrs. Henderson, my Elsie has the plague and is infecting everyone. I don’t think upset stomachs are in her contract.”

“I sure am sorry.”

“Me, too, but I suppose it’s my own fault. I know Mrs. H is terribly inflexible, but I never do too much to try and find a new sitter,” Shawn said as she opened up her canvas
tote and started stuffing paperwork into it. “Listen, I’ll log on from home and enter in the rest of my data.”

Ramona patted her hand. “Don’t worry. I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After Ramona left, Tricia popped her head up from the other side of the cubicle wall they shared. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. Unless you can help me find a new sitter.” In spite of her usual efforts not to speak ill of her babysitter, frustration with the woman made her say more than usual. “Now I’ve got to go clock out, make up the time later this week. Maybe even on Saturday.”

After hastily shutting down her computer, Shawn cleared off her desk so that whoever sat in her spot during the next shift would find every thing in order.

Then she glanced over at Tricia again. Her buddy was now sitting down but still not even pretending to work. Almost meekly, Shawn said, “You know, I wouldn’t mind leaving early if Elsie was really sick. I never would have just dropped her off if she had a fever or something. I’m not heartless.”

“You could never be heartless. And don’t worry, Shawn, we both know the truth. She’s not sick—she’s teething.”

It was so nice to hear someone on her side, Shawn felt those darn hormones click in and tears prick her eyes. “Why aren’t you my babysitter, Tricia?”

Looking at her blinking phone with a frown, she said, “Believe me, I wish I was. I’d give a lot to spend the afternoon with a cranky toddler, instead of answering these phones.”

“I’ve gotta go.” Not afraid to nudge Tricia a bit, she pointed to the blinking light. “And you better get to work.”

“I know.” Brightening, she said, “Hey, I’m off tomorrow. I’ll watch Elsie for you if she’s still crabby. I
love your kids. And a day spent in the company of Barney, Dora and Thomas the Tank Engine sounds like a dream.”

“Thanks, Tricia. I just might take you up on it.”

“Call me later.”

After flying to her van, stopping to get an extra bottle of children’s Motrin, a box of cherry Popsicles and some iced tea mix, she pulled into Mrs. Henderson’s driveway just fifty minutes after the sitter’s phone call.

Shawn was pretty proud of herself for not only being on time, but even a little early.

The pickup went about as she expected. All three girls were happy to see her but confused as to why their mom was picking them up early. Elsie was uncomfortable and fussy and crying. But that didn’t stop Mrs. H from giving Shawn a piece of her mind. “Please don’t bring Elsie in tomorrow if she’s still like this.”

“She probably still will be cranky. Teeth don’t come in during one day.”

“Feel free to bring the other two, though.”

“There’s no reason for me to bring you two kids if the third can’t come. I wish you’d be a little more professional.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Wagner. Oh, it’s Ms., isn’t it?”

“It’s definitely ‘Ms.’” Shifting Elsie to the opposite hip, she helped Mary and Kit get in the van, then drove home. The June heat had already radiated through the van during the short pickup. By the time they pulled into the driveway, Shawn’s back was sweaty and she was exhausted.

After getting everyone a snack of yogurt and fruit, Shawn got settled with them in the living room. Kit was full of stories about her art project and had big plans to spend the afternoon coloring and watching cartoons. Mary, as usual, was happy to play with her dolls and
animals near Shawn. Elsie, once a frozen washcloth was in her mouth, fell asleep on the floor near Mary.

An hour later, dressed in shorts and one of Eddie’s old T-shirts, Shawn couldn’t help but smile when Mary gave her a sleepy hug.

“It’s fun staying home, Mommy.”

“I think so, too, sugar. I like seeing you girls and it feels good to stretch out in this big chair. My back was killing me today.” As the afternoon sun shifted along the horizon, her eyes drifted closed.

Only an impatient knocking roused her.

“Shawn? Shawn, are you okay?”

Kit opened the door before her mother could shake the sleep off. “Hi, Daddy. We were taking a nap.”

Shawn slowly peeked open an eye as Eddie followed Kit into the room.

Blinked as she met Eddie’s gaze. In an instant they were back in the doctor’s examining room, his arms warm and solid and holding her.

Back to another time. Back to when they first met, before children.

Back when there wasn’t a hundred-pound bag of mistakes between them, only the tempting link of attraction. Back to when just one look would send them eager to bed. Or to anywhere private.

“Hey,” he said. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.”

The unexpected visit was a surprise. “Hi. Guess you got my message?”

“I did.”

“Sorry I don’t have the girls ready. We all fell asleep.”

In Eddie’s gaze was humor and understanding. “You never could resist a nap, Shawn.”

Curving her arms around her stomach, she stared right
back and tried to pretend she didn’t realize that his orange T-shirt came from a trip to Key West six years ago.

Remembered how grateful she used to be when they saw each other at the end of the day, because then she’d be in his arms again. Remembered how nervous she used to get when he was on patrol. And how weak with relief she’d be at the end of his shifts when she’d realize he’d come home once again without a scratch on him. “Some things never change, I guess,” she said with a smile.

His gaze warmed. “Since you’re in my shirt and we’ve got a baby on the way, I’d say you’re right. Some things never seem to change at all.”