Baby Makes Six (9 page)

Shawn wasn’t so sure. For every person like Tricia, there were ten others who liked Carnegie as much as Shawn did and wanted a long-term career there. The powers that be wouldn’t take her refusal of a promotion lightly. “I’ll let you know my answer soon.” Thinking how clear everything felt at work, she murmured, “I wish things were this easy in my personal life. There, I feel like the biggest idiot imaginable.”

“Don’t shortchange yourself. You may be more of a successful mother than you’ll ever know.”

She’d been thinking more about her failures as a wife. But that hurt too much to share. “I’ll think about your offer. I promise.”

“Good. Now stop beating yourself up for being lucky enough to have another baby. It’s a blessing.”

A tremor reverberated through Shawn as she heard the wistful tone in Ramona’s voice. Ramona was correct—Shawn had been given a wonderful gift and so far had only been thinking of the negatives, not what a blessing having a baby could be.

Just as she turned to go, Shawn glanced at the other woman. “Ramona, how are you? Are you dating anyone?”

“No.” The lone word was bitten out, stark and so sad.

“Still too soon?”

Her smile cracked. “I don’t know if it’s too soon or not. My heart just isn’t in it. And, well, the two dates I did force myself to try were pretty awful.”

“Men are difficult.”

“Not all men. Mark wasn’t.”

“He loved you.” After her husband died, Ramona had arrived at work with dark circles under eyes and a telltale pallor to her skin. Everyone had been at a loss
as to how to help their hurting manager, who seemed determined to keep all her pain private.

“He was a gem of a husband. I loved him, too. I always will. But a part of me doesn’t want to live in the past. I want to move forward and try again. Memories and a bottle of wine only get you so far on a Friday night.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t reached out to you more. I guess I’ve been so centered on my own problems. That’s no excuse.”

“Don’t worry, Shawn. Pretty soon I’m going to have to make some decisions about my future. But in the meantime, I’ll choose to help you with yours. So, no more talk about getting fired. Okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you’ll take care of yourself?”

“I’ll do my best. And you’ll take care of yourself, too?”

“I will. I will for as long as I have to.”

Ramona sounded so determined and sad. So abject and resigned. Her words rang in Shawn’s ears for quite some time.

It was as if he was eleven again and had a secret. At 8:00 a.m., Eddie stood outside his parents’ house and took a deep breath. How the hell was he going to tell them about Shawn and the baby?

How in the hell could he not tell them?

“Ed?” his father called from the other side of the kitchen window. “I’ve been watching you wander around back there for fifteen minutes. You going to stand in the back porch all day or come on in?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” After opening the screen door, he was greeted with the unexpected sight of his parents drinking coffee and eating fruit and granola. That made him smile. His father’s usual routine involved pots of coffee and a Pop-Tart or two. “Dad, I didn’t know you knew what granola was.”

“I wish I still didn’t. Your mother’s got me on a diet.”

“His cholesterol was getting crazy. I decided to make some changes,” his mom said cheerily. “Coffee, Ed?”

“Yes, please.”

While his mom poured him a cup, his dad continued to grouse. “I’m now eating more fruits, vegetables and yogurt than I ever have in my entire life.”

“Fruit is good for you.” After thanking his mom for
the coffee with a smile, Eddie added, “I’m sure it’s a lot better than the usual stuff you eat.”

“It wasn’t too bad.”

Thinking of his dad’s penchant for peanut butter cups, chips and salami sandwiches, Eddie said, “It wasn’t too good.”

His mom patted his dad’s back. “Now things are much better. Remember, honey, this isn’t a diet, it’s a new way of life.”

“This new way is a pain in my backside.”

His mom pretended not to hear. “Hungry, Ed?”

“Not really.”

“I am.”

“Hush, Bill.” In spite of Eddie’s reluctance, his mom brought him a bowl of raspberries, a carton of yogurt and a slice of apple cinnamon coffee cake. “Here you go, son. Now eat and tell us why you stopped by.”

There was only one way to go about sharing the news. Straightforwardly. “I saw Shawn a few days ago. We talked.”

Sharon glanced at Bill, then nodded encouragingly. “What did you two talk about?”

“About the fact that she’s pregnant.”

His dad pulled over the slice of cake from Eddie’s plate, jabbing at it with a fork. “I see.”

“I don’t.” Sharon frowned, so visibly upset that she didn’t even fuss at Eddie’s dad. “This news has floored me. I didn’t think she was seeing anyone.”

There was no easy way to admit the truth. There never was. Feeling vaguely like he had in the Army when he’d been the bearer of bad news, he looked straight ahead and blurted the truth. “The baby’s mine.”

“I see,” his mom said, though it was incredibly clear
she didn’t. “Well. So, uh, how far along is she?” Tentatively, she said, “Is everything okay?”

“She’s five months. Out of the danger zone.”

For a brief moment his dad closed his eyes, making Eddie realize once again that none of them had been unaffected by the miscarriage.

When he glanced Eddie’s way again, however, Bill’s expression was not as contemplative. “She’s
five
months? What kind of divorce was this, son? If you two intended to still fool around, you should’ve just stayed together.”

“Everything would have been a lot easier,” his mom agreed.

“We haven’t been fooling around. It was a onetime thing. One late night.”

His mom tilted her head just enough to make the ends of her auburn hair brush her jaw. “And what about Jayne? Are you sleeping with Jayne, too? Because if you are, I just don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Eddie was glad he hadn’t even made a dent in his food, because he’d be having a hard time choking it down. “Who I’m sleeping with is none of your business.”

“It kind of is, if you’re producing grandchildren right and left.”

“Dad!”

“Don’t play shy now, Edward. I don’t want to know the details. I just want to know what’s going to happen with our new grandchild.” Sizing his son up, he asked, “Are you sure you’re the father? Maybe Shawn is sleeping with other men, too.”

“Yes, I’m certain.” For some reason, he was prepared to defend Shawn’s honor. “She doesn’t sleep around.”

“That’s only something
you
do, huh?”

Why had he thought this would be an easy conver
sation? “I’ve only recently been sleeping with Jayne. Are you two happy now?”

His parents exchanged glances. After a good pause his mother blurted, “Only recently? But you’ve been dating for a while. Why’d you wait so long? Because you still have feelings for Shawn?”

His father answered before Eddie could tackle that one. “Obviously. He’s still making babies.”

“It was one time!” Eddie snapped. Though that also wasn’t quite the truth. It had been several times during one amazing night.

To his shock, his mother smiled. “That one time must have been something else.”

Closing his eyes, Eddie breathed deeply and tried to hold his patience. “This is definitely not going like I thought it would.” He pulled over the dish of raspberries and tossed a few in his mouth. As the tart sweetness exploded on his tongue, he said, “I thought you two were going to be shocked.”

His dad glared. “Oh, we are.”

“We are really shocked,” Sharon said, looking him over. “But I’m more shocked to hear about your indifference to Jayne, if you want to know the truth.”

“I’m not indifferent—”

Slicing another piece of cake, Sharon continued, “Jayne’s a nice girl, but she’s young. And she’s looking for a future, Eddie. She’s going to want her own babies. I don’t know what she’s going to think about a future with you and Shawn.”

“You know, Shawn doesn’t want me involved like that. She doesn’t want to get married again.”

“It doesn’t matter what she says—or what she wants,” his dad pointed out. “You already are involved.
And you will be involved with Shawn and your children for the rest of your life.”

“I know.”

His dad forked another bite of cake. “Do you?”

His mother patted his shoulder. “Eddie, did you come over here to tell us the news or ask for advice?”

“I don’t know. Maybe both,” he admitted. “I thought I was here just to tell you, but I’m reeling. I don’t know what to do about Shawn. She’s kept that news from me all this time. How could she keep something so important a secret?”

“I guess she’s the only person who can tell us that. But maybe she didn’t know how to deal with things, either? Give yourself some time, dear. You need time to let things sink in.”

“I don’t have weeks to process all this and plan ahead like I usually do. Shawn’s going to have a baby in September.” He raked a hand through his hair. “September.”

His parents exchanged glances. “That’s a good month.”

In spite of their serious conversation, Eddie felt himself smile. Everyone liked the idea of a September baby. “What should I do about Jayne? She’s going to be furious.”

“I imagine so.” Spearing a raspberry, his dad spoke again. “But I’d think long and hard about this. One relationship is hard. Two sounds downright impossible.”

“Especially with a baby on the way.”

“Especially with another one,” Eddie murmured right before he took his parents’ advice and headed out the door. A walk on the beach might not help, but at least it wouldn’t make things worse.

“You didn’t have to be here,” Shawn whispered to Eddie as they sat thumbing through baby magazines in the pink-and-ivory waiting room. “Accompanying me on this appointment really wasn’t necessary.”

“Sure it was. No way was I going to have you go to all of these checkups by yourself.”

“I went by myself before and everything was fine.”

Tossing the magazine back on the table, he said, “How many have you gone to? Four?”

“One.”

“One?” He barked the word, giving to the four other women in the room the perfect excuse not to even pretend to do anything else besides stare at them.

And of course he had to have worn his uniform, so he looked as gorgeous as ever.

“Keep your voice down,” Shawn hissed. And since it was obvious to everyone that her attention was definitely not on
Family Fun Vacations,
she tossed her magazine down next to his. “And yes,
one.
”

“Even though last time—” He shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up.”

Even though last time she’d miscarried at nine
weeks. “We’d already gone to the doctor by then, if you remember.”

“I remember. Sorry. Look, I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she said after a moment. “It’s always with us. We can’t help that.”

“No, I guess we can’t.” For a moment she thought he was about to reach for her hand. If he had, she knew she would have taken it.

There were some things that would always be between them. Some things that could never be taken away.

The reception door swung open just in time. “Mr. and Mrs. Wagner?”

“Yes.” Shawn answered, not seeing a need to correct the nurse as they strode into the awaiting hallway.

A
S THEY WERE LED
down the hall, Shawn found herself glancing Eddie’s way. To her surprise, he was scanning the pale pink walls and bulletin boards filled with birth announcements with a smile, all traces of their argument long gone.

“Here’s Elsie’s photo,” he said, pointing to the pink-and-white announcement Shawn had made on their home computer. Standing next to him, she chuckled. “Elsie was so bald. Oh, she was cute.”

The nurse grinned. “You two already have a child?”

“We already have three. We’re here for number four,” Eddie said just as if they’d planned it.

“Four! Oh, my! We don’t have too many patients who want to have four children.”

“Sometimes things just happen,” Shawn said dryly as she stepped on the scale.

Eddie didn’t even try to look away from her weight. When he frowned at it and then at her, she glared his way. “What?”

“Your weight seems low. Would you look back and see what Shawn’s weight was for her fifth month last time?”

Before Shawn could intervene, the nurse—Debbie—was flipping through pages. “Here it is,” she said, pointing to the notation. “Mrs. Wagner, you’re ten pounds less at five months than the last time.”

“That’s great.” Now she’d have even less baby weight to take off.

But Eddie shook his head, still concerned. “I don’t think it’s great. Go back and check her weight with the other two, would you please?”

Now Shawn was just getting annoyed. “Eddie, this isn’t any of your business,”

Debbie pointed to a chair. “Why don’t you have a seat, Shawn? This might take a moment.”

Shawn couldn’t believe it, but she sat. And waited. And then felt a little bit of anxiety when Debbie reported that she was eight pounds less than she was during Kit’s and Mary’s pregnancies, too. “It’s probably because I was lighter to begin with. I lost weight during the divorce.”

“That much?”

Actually she wasn’t sure. “Probably.”

“I’m writing a note for Dr. Axman,” Debbie said. “Now, let’s get your blood pressure.” After a few moments she smiled at Eddie. “Blood pressure’s good.”

“That’s great.”

When they entered the examining room, Shawn had given up pretending Eddie wasn’t involved and didn’t want to be. Obviously he wanted to be involved a lot. When they were alone, she murmured, “Ed, I’ve got to slip out of this dress. Want to turn around?”

Instead of answering, he walked behind her and deftly unfastened the top three buttons of her dress, then helped her pull it over her head. Just as she started to feel
exposed, standing in front of him in a maternity bra and underwear, he picked up the neatly folded cloth robe on the exam table, flicked it open and helped her into it.

The whole process took a minute, tops. So why did it feel as if their comfort level with each other had just taken another dramatic shift forward? Eddie had to be the only person she knew who could help her change clothes in such a relaxed way, without a hint of embarrassment.

Given their circumstances, that was a good thing. So why was she wishing she’d chosen undergarments that were at least a little bit prettier?

“I didn’t mean to make a big deal about your weight, but I still care,” he said, taking a seat across from her. “I wouldn’t want you to get sick. Or the baby, of course.”

Her heart melted as she faced a few truths, too. No one could go through eight years of marriage and not care. “I know you do. I still care about you, too.”

“Please don’t push these monthly checkups away anymore. They’re important.”

He’d said
please.
“I won’t. Not anymore.”

He’d just nodded when Dr. Axman entered the room. “I heard we have my favorite police officer here,” she said as she walked over to him and shook his hand.

“I’ll be here from now on,” he replied with a grin.

“Glad to hear it.” She turned to Shawn with a smile. “So, Debbie tells me Eddie has been doing a little bit of detective work about your weight.”

“He must be the only guy on earth who likes fat pregnant women.”

“You’ve been full of baby, but never were overweight. Certainly not fat.” To Shawn’s surprise, the doctor wasn’t laughing off his concerns, either. “This is a pretty significant weight loss, Shawn. Are you eating regularly?”

“Yes.”

“Eating well?” prodded Eddie.

“I don’t know. I’m eating what I can.”

“Maybe she’s doing too much,” Eddie suggested. “Are you taking time to rest and put your feet up, Shawn?”

Well, this was a change from his past criticisms. “I don’t have time to sit around with my feet up. I work. I run after three girls and try to keep up with the rest of my life.” Which was, she knew, where she’d been falling apart.

Dr. Axman made a few notes. “How often do you eat?”

“I don’t know.”

“Five to six small meals is ideal.”

She hardly had time for three meals. “I’ll try and eat more.”

“And sleeping? Are you getting any rest?”

“Yes.” She was getting some.

Eddie’s eyes narrowed. “Is Elsie sleeping through the night or still wandering in at 2:00 a.m.?”

“She wanders, but it doesn’t usually keep me up.” Well, not every night.

Dr. Axman pushed her wire-rimmed reading glasses up on her forehead. “Usually I would say your home situation is none of my business, but in your case, I think it is. So, you two are living still apart?”

Eddie answered that one. “Yes.”

“We’re divorced,” Shawn reminded the doctor.

“How often do you have the girls, Eddie?”

“One or two nights a week.”

“Any chance you could up that? Or at least help out Shawn a bit in the afternoons or evenings? If she’s not chasing toddlers, she might be more able to take care of herself and your baby.”

“I can do that. Of course.”

Shawn bit her lip to contain her surprise. Eddie had
always been a loving father, but he’d never acted as if he would willingly put his schedule on hold for her.

Looking directly at her, Eddie said, “We’ll work something out, okay, Shawn?”

“Sure. If that’s what we need to do.”

If Dr. Axman noticed the incredulousness in her voice or found it strange at all, she didn’t comment. Instead, she fished a tape measure from her lab coat. “Let’s see what else we can find out.”

After measuring Shawn’s belly, she placed a monitor on her stomach and turned up the volume. Just like always, there was the sweetest sound ever. Smiling, she said, “The baby sounds good.”

“She sure does,” Eddie said, grinning. “We’re calling her Four.”

“For the record, Number Four’s heartbeat is strong, and your body seems fine. It’s just this lack of weight gain that’s a bit troublesome.” Making a notation in her chart, Dr. Axman said, “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll take some blood and make sure everything is how it should be. And just for this month, I want you to keep a food diary so we can see what you’re eating.”

“Everything?” How was she going to be able to write down the French fries she’d eaten just the night before? The whole plate of them.

“Everything. Don’t be shy. I’ve been pregnant and loved chocolate-chip ice cream. And I’ve had plenty of patients who’ve liked the darnedest things.”

“I’ll try.”

Eddie groaned. “Shawn, come on. Promise you’ll do this.”

“I promise I’ll do the best I can.”

Stepping toward the door, Dr. Axman directed a stern look her way. “The other thing is, I want you to promise
that you sit down and relax more. Things with Four look good. This time it’s you I’m concerned about.”

“I’ll try and relax. I promise.”

“Good. Get dressed. Debbie will be in to take some blood in a few moments,” the doctor said before exiting the room.

When they were alone, Eddie handed Shawn her dress. “I hope you really will try to eat and rest more,” he murmured. “I’ll come by every day to help if that’s what you need.”

She was stunned into silence. Since Eddie still didn’t seem fazed by her body in any state of dress or undress, she loosened the ties and removed the gown. Before slipping on the dress, she looked down at herself as objectively as she could. “I don’t think I’m too thin, Ed. I mean, the rest of me looks like it always did. Right?”

Eddie stepped closer. Skimmed a glance over her thighs, then ran upward. So slowly, so thoroughly, she could practically feel his gaze brush against her skin.

Before she realized it, her mouth had gone dry and her skin felt sensitized. As if they had all the time in the world, Eddie curved a hand around one shoulder, then gently tilted her chin up with the other.

Their eyes met.

“You look great, Shawn. Perfect. Just like you always did. I just worry.”

About what? About the baby? Or her? “I promise I’ve been taking care of myself. I wouldn’t neglect Four.”

“I know that,” he murmured. “I promise I know that.” With a sigh, he slid his hand from her shoulder to the small of her back, seeming to enjoy the feel of her bare skin as much as she enjoyed his touch.

The yearning to lean against him was too strong to
deny. Giving in, she closed the scant six-inch gap and rested her forehead against his chest.

Chuckling, Eddie wrapped his other hand around her.

Oh, his touch felt so wonderful. He smelled so good, too! Like starch from his uniform and soap and Armani cologne. Shawn closed her eyes and relaxed, giving in to the temptation to just feel Eddie next to her. To enjoy being held, to pretend that she wasn’t alone and that everything between them wasn’t so rocky. For just a moment, she let herself forget that she needed to go back to work. That she hadn’t done the laundry in four days. That she doubted she’d have much energy to cook up anything other than TV dinners for supper.

A brief rap followed by Debbie’s cheery greeting pulled them apart. “Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were still…getting dressed.”

The door closed with a hasty click.

Shawn was sure her whole body was beet red. “I can’t believe we were doing that, Eddie. I can’t believe I was sitting here in my bra and underwear hugging you.”

To her amazement, Eddie looked just as flustered as she felt. “We just can’t seem to stop sometimes, can we?”

Hastily she shoved her dress over her head. “I don’t know what happens.”

He glanced at her bare legs. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll get going,” he said quickly. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay.”

“And I’ll tell Debbie it’s all right to come in now.”

Yes, her dress was now securely on and smoothed over her knees. “That would be appreciated.” Meeting his gaze, she said softly, “Bye, Eddie.”

He waved a hand and left.

Hardly a moment went by before Debbie entered
with everything she needed to take Shawn’s blood. Shawn held out an arm.

There’d be no problem getting blood drawn today, she figured. After all, her pulse was racing.