Baby Makes Six (6 page)

And probably always would be. “Thanks for stopping by.”

He breathed a sigh of relief when she drove off. And didn’t dare to ask himself why.

“I’
M PREGNANT
,” Shawn told her reflection in the mirror a week later.

Her reflection merely stared back at her. One eyebrow cocked sardonically. “I guess that didn’t sound too confident, did it?” Shawn took a deep breath and did her best to sound poised and happy, like she did when she was on the phone at work. “Eddie, you wouldn’t believe it, but it happened. Again. And this time things are different. Everything’s going real well—just like it used to.”

A fist of pain punched her heart, making her wonder if that even mattered.

She tried again. “Eddie, there’s something you need to know. I’m pregnant, and it’s from that time we tore each other’s clothes off on the living-room floor and made love like minks for hours. Do you remember that night? You know, when Elsie was sick right after New Year’s? Almost five months ago?”

Visions of the two of them tangled—hands and lips everywhere—traipsed through her mind, startling her a
bit. Even her reflection looked shocked and, truth be told, somewhat hot and bothered.

That little speech definitely was not any better. Telling him the truth was not going to be easy.

She couldn’t do it. Though she was now living in roomy sundresses and elastic waistbands, she couldn’t bear to start telling people about her reality. Although people were going to know soon enough.

But she just couldn’t face Eddie yet.

Nope, far better to just pretend nothing was changing. At least for now. It was her weekend to be at Bill and Sharon’s condo again, and she was determined to enjoy the time with the girls, relax and stop worrying about the future. After all, with Eddie seeing Jayne, there was a good possibility that one day his parents might not be quite so generous with her.

Oh, they’d always put their grandchildren first. But there’d be no reason for them to include her in the equation, too. Change was inevitable.

And everything she’d heard about Jayne was good. Correction. Great.
She was nice
. She was nice to Bill and Sharon. She was sweet to the girls. What more could Shawn ever hope for?

Soon she would just be the mother of his children. Someone he had a relationship with—but the someone he used to love. Before things changed.

Turning away from the mirror, she slipped on an oversize black tank top and tied the laces on her running shoes.

Yes, she was going to just live in the moment for a bit. After all, she already did feel a little lighter. From the minute they’d pulled into the sage-green metal carport and run the first load into the condo, Shawn breathed a sigh of relief.

She liked this place. She liked how the furniture was old and the decorating had stopped right around 1965. She liked the vintage movie posters on the walls and the framed car advertisements for old Cadillacs. It was quirky and easy and so different in feel from her home—from the home she used to share with Eddie. Everything felt better in the condo.

And then there were the surroundings. She loved Bishop’s Gate. She loved the walking paths and the families and the condos and cottages near the beach and the seagulls that constantly perched on the homes.

There was something about being near the sand and surf that made all her other problems melt away and seem less significant.

Padding out to the kitchen, she pulled out a turquoise mug and poured herself a fresh cup of decaf coffee. Within the hour, things around the place would be a whole lot noisier. First Elsie would wake up, followed by Kit, then sweet Mary. After breakfast they had big plans to go down to the beach. Eddie’s sister, Melanie, was going to come down and stay the night, too.

Oh, she missed Eddie’s family. His parents were the most loving, huggable people on the planet. And Melanie was truly the sister she’d never had. Though they’d all reached out to her—with Eddie’s full support—it still wasn’t the same.

Taking advantage of the rare quiet time, she slipped on an old zip-up, walked out to the back patio and sat on the old aluminum bench that Sharon had found in a flea market years ago. A true sense of peace surrounded her.

A few couples were out running. One old guy was race walking with a to-go cup in hand. A woman ran by in a coral sports bra, showing off well-toned abs and a healthy tan.

Shawn pulled her jacket over herself a little more snugly and enjoyed more of the scenery.

“Momma!” Elsie called just as she entered the house again. “Momma?”

“Here I am, Elsie.” Shawn scooped her up and covered her sweet cheeks with a dozen kisses. “So, are you ready to have a fun day? Melanie’s coming.”

“Melnie.”

“That’s right. Your buddy Melnie.” As they went through their morning routine, Shawn couldn’t help but recall when seeing Eddie’s family wasn’t a special occasion, but more of a daily occurrence.

Had she ever minded that? Maybe she was just too tired of doing everything herself, but no, she couldn’t remember that she had. Melanie and Bill and Sharon Wagner were definitely the family she’d always wanted. Close in that easygoing way that her parents had never been.

Oh, she loved her parents. But with them living in Arizona, she didn’t see them very often, and when they did come out, everything felt staged. Events and activities were planned. The girls were reminded to be on good behavior. Shawn made sure she wore flattering outfits and lipstick.

With the Wagners, it had been far more come as you are. They used to pop over on Sunday mornings and, with barely a knock, let themselves in. Eddie used to gripe about that. “What if we weren’t dressed, Ma?”

But Sharon had never given him an inch. “Then I’d tell you to put some clothes on.”

Bill, of course, had chuckled. “Yeah, like you think you’re going to be running around naked with three little ones, Romeo? You’re going to be run ragged.”

And that was true.

“More Lucky Charms, Els?”

When she nodded, Shawn poured a few more out on Elsie’s favorite dinosaur plate and cut up a few slices of banana, too. A glass of milk rounded things out, making the breakfast seminutritious…well, as much as it could be and still have a picky eater eat it.

What a difference a third child made! Back when Kit was a toddler, labels were read and diets examined. Now it was all about time and mess.

“Hi, Mommy,” Mary said.

“Good morning, Little Miss Sunshine. Ready to eat yet?”

“Nope.”

And so it went. Another morning on her own. Amazingly quiet. Amazingly going according to plan.

Even her morning sickness was leveling out.

For some reason, it all just made her depressed. Within a few months, she’d be holding a new baby in her arms.

She’d have someone fresh and adorable to cuddle and coo over.

And Shawn had a feeling she’d feel more alone than ever before.

“Sorry we’re not at the beach,” Shawn apologized to her sister-in-law as they sat on the steps of the neighborhood baby pool. “The girls wanted to try out their new floats.”

“This is fine. I wanted to see you and the girls, not be entertained.” Looking at each of her nieces, Melanie commented, “You were so smart to make sure each could swim at a young age. Now we hardly have to watch Kit.”

As Shawn watched her daughter dive under the water and pick up another lime-green plastic ring, she smiled. “Thank goodness! Kit’s such a help with the other girls. Of course, I need to stay by Elsie’s side, but Kit watches Mary like a hawk.”

In just the past month, Shawn had given Kit and Mary permission to go to the shallow end of the “big” pool, right next to the baby one. The only restriction was that they had to stay together. They’d readily agreed to that because life in the big pool was so much better. They could actually swim, instead of dodge toddlers.

As Mary tossed another three rings in the water and Kit dove and fetched, Shawn added, “Kit wants to join the swim team this winter.”

“I can’t wait to see her practice dives off the blocks,” Melanie said. “I swam for years, you know.”

“Get ready to be called for assistance. I can swim, but hardly better than Mary. I sure never mastered those shallow dives.”

“Call me anytime.” As Elsie played house with three plastic fish near their feet, Melanie looked Shawn over. “So, I’m just going to go ahead and say it. You look beautiful. Divorce must agree with you.”

“Hardly.”

“Something’s different, though. Just a few months ago you looked exhausted.”

“Probably because I was.” Shawn bit her lip. To her eye, she looked pregnant. She was practically falling out of her top, and the swim shorts couldn’t quite hide her curved belly. “Anyway, thanks for the compliment. You look great, too. I’d give a lot to have your figure.”

“Really?” Melanie kicked out a beautifully toned leg, testament to the hours she spent at the gym. “I don’t know, Shawn. There are many days I’d rather have some little reminders here and there that I’ve had a baby. Or two.”

“Oh, Mel.” Though she always wore a smile, Shawn knew that her sister-in-law was still having a tough time recovering from being mugged. Months after it happened, Melanie had shown Shawn the three-inch scar that would always remind her of the incident. “You’ll have a house full of kids one day.”

“Maybe, if I ever go out again.”

“Anyone interesting on the horizon?”

“John Nelson. He works with Eddie.”

“I know John. He’s a good guy, Mel.”

“I know he is. And I do want to go out with him.” A shadow played around her eyes. “I just wish things were a little different, that’s all. John’s the one who apprehended that guy, you know.”

“I know.”

After fetching one of Kit’s rings that had gotten tossed out of the pool, Melanie said, “Let’s focus on you. Are you dating anyone?”

“No.”

“I think you should. Eddie and Jayne are getting serious, I think.”

“Really?”

“She had dinner at Mom’s with Eddie.”

“How did it go?”

“Well enough, I guess.” This time it was Melanie who worried about the chosen topic of conversation. “Does talking about Jayne bother you?”

“I don’t mind. I’ve met Jayne.” At Melanie’s look of surprise, she explained. “A few weeks ago the girls and I were at the beach when he and Jayne walked by. She’s…pretty.”

“She’s totally wrong person for my brother. You wouldn’t believe what Mom and Dad said about Jayne coming over for dinner.”

Shawn wasn’t too proud to be excited to hear gossip about Eddie. After checking on Kit and Mary and seeing that Elsie was still happily content with her fish, she leaned forward. “What happened?”

“Let’s just say that I think Jayne only likes life with kids in a controlled environment. Jayne plus three kids plus sloppy joes equals wanting dinner out. She tried to make Mom and Dad play babysitter so Eddie would take her out.”

Shawn frowned. “I didn’t hear about any of this.” Glancing at Kit, she said, “Usually my informer tells me more.”

“To Eddie’s credit, I think a lot of what happened was out of the girls’ hearing.” Melanie smirked. “Eddie keeps promising us that they’re serious. But boy, I have
to admit that more than once I’ve wished for Jayne to be his rebound girl.”

Shawn didn’t like thinking about Eddie in those terms. Whatever his faults, he sure didn’t use women the way Melanie seemed to be insinuating. “We’re divorced, Mel. I think Eddie has moved on. And I’m sure Jayne is perfectly fine for him.”

“I know. I just wish Eddie had tried harder with you.”

“It was a mutual thing.” Looking away, Shawn said, “I think whatever happened between us was for the best.”

“I know losing the baby was hard.”

“It was, but we got through it. That cliché is true—life really does move on.” It was on the tip of her tongue to share the news about the pregnancy. If anyone could be counted on to lend a hand, it was her sister-in-law.

But Melanie would also shoulder as much of her brother’s and Shawn’s burdens as she could, too. And that wasn’t fair.

No, for right now, keeping things quiet was the right thing to do.

“You two were good together.”

“We were, but we sure weren’t always that way. Living together on a day-to-day basis is hard. Maybe for us, it was too hard. There’s a difference, I think.”

She was saved from further introspection by Mary climbing out of the pool. “I’m hungry. Kit is, too.”

Elsie beamed and reached for her big sister’s hand. “Me, too!”

Shawn stood up. “I think that’s our signal not to talk about anything else serious.”

Wrapping a blue-striped towel around Elsie, Melanie smiled. “That’s fine with me.” Bending down close to eye level with the girls, she asked, “Who wants corn dogs?”

“We do!” all three yelled out.

As Shawn hoisted the bag of toys across her shoulder, she had to admit that corn dogs sounded pretty good.

In fact, everything sounded good—except imagining Eddie and Jayne together.

“O
NLY YOU WOULD GET
the Employee of the Week award, Shawn,” Tricia said with more than a hint of envy in her voice during their scheduled morning break. “The only recognition I’ve gotten from Carnegie was a slip saying I came in late last Tuesday.”

Shawn chuckled. “You’ve been recognized before.”

“I suppose. But I’ve never gotten a gift certificate to Warner’s Steak House. I love that place.”

“I do, too.” Shawn frowned. Well, she
used
to love it. The two times she’d dined there had been with Eddie. Under the soft glow of candlelight, they’d shared a bottle of wine, crème brûlée and cuddled in a corner booth. Now she had no one to do that with. Only half joking, she said, “You want to come with me?”

“Shawn, I like you a lot. I even like sitting in this drab little room with you eating apples and day-old bagels. But good friends don’t let good friends take them to fancy steak houses. You need to go there with a cute guy.”

“I don’t have any of those around.” Suddenly her bagel did seem kind of dry and plain.

“You haven’t started dating yet?”

What was it with the dating questions? And how did everyone think she was going to meet men, anyway? In the drive-through at McDonald’s? “No.”

“But it’s been a while. Hasn’t it?”

“It’s not the right time.” Appetite gone, she got up and tossed her snack in the trash.

“Shawn, it’s never going to be the right time. I know.” Holding up the slice of green apple she was crunching,
Tricia added, “Remember how I told you I had to put myself out there in order to meet Brian? Sometimes when a guy shows interest, you need to smile back.”

“No one’s done that lately.” She willed herself to forget about the guy at the diner.

Of course, that had been a month ago.

“Tons of men would ask you out if you sent out the right kind of vibe.” Squeezing her arm, Tricia said, “I know—start whining about how you have no one to take to Warner’s Steak House. Guys will get up the nerve for that.”

“Just what I need. A guy to ask me out for a free dinner. No thank you.”

“You’re making this too difficult. Maybe you could try online dating?”

“No.”

“I could ask Brian if he has a friend.”

“Please don’t.”

“Why not? He’s met lots of great guys at the marina.” Deepening her voice, Tricia said, “Oh, Shawn, maybe we could hook you up with some guy who has a sailboat! You could go on a twilight cruise.”

Which would undoubtedly make her seasick. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

“But, Shawn—”

“It’s really not the right time.” After looking around the break room to make sure they were alone, she leaned close. “I’m pregnant.”

Out fell the apple from Tricia’s hand. “What? How?”

“What do you mean how? I got pregnant the usual way.”

“Who?” Tricia’s cheeks flushed as she held up a hand. “Forget it. It’s none of my business. And forget what I said about meeting guys. Obviously—”

Somehow, having Tricia think she had gotten pregnant by some random guy was worse than the truth. “It’s Eddie’s baby.”

Tricia’s face stayed carefully composed. “I see.”

Shawn rolled her eyes. “Tricia, you are a master of the understatement. There’s nothing to see. We made a mistake. Now I’m paying for it.”

“How far along are you?”

Shawn noticed her girlfriend trying hard not to glance down at her midsection. “Almost five months.”

Tricia looked her over. “Now everything makes sense. You looked a little…fuller, but I thought it was because you were finally eating three meals again. What does Eddie say? Is he excited? Maybe you can use the Warner’s gift card as a celebration meal.”

“We won’t be using it.”

“Eddie’s pretty upset?”

“He will be when he finds out.”

“What?”

Shawn slumped against the back of her plastic chair. “He doesn’t know.”

“Shawn, you’ve got to tell him! He has a right to know.”

“I will.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“How soon? When you’re about to deliver?”

Now Shawn felt worse. Tricia’s expression made her feel like she was twelve years old and about to be grounded for the month. It didn’t help matters that Tricia was right. She should have told Eddie as soon as she found out.

Not that that realization was going to do her any good.

Immediately Tricia’s expression filled with regret. “Shawn, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spouted off to you like that. I know your private business isn’t my concern.
It’s just, I don’t know, not telling Eddie seems kind of harsh, don’t you think?”

“It sounds as harsh as Eddie wondering why everything at home isn’t perfect. Or as harsh as him wondering why—” She cut herself off before she mentioned the miscarriage. They’d both said some things they’d wished they hadn’t. “I mean, I know I need to tell him. I know that. I’ve just been waiting for the right time.”

“You’re right. Forget I said anything. I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Now Shawn just felt mean. It wasn’t Tricia’s fault that everything between her and her ex-husband didn’t make sense. “I do appreciate your concern. And I will tell Eddie real soon.”

Gesturing to her nonexistent waist, she added, “I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be able to hide it much longer. I’m just putting off the inevitable.”

Tricia got all moony-eyed. “In a way, this pregnancy seems so romantic. Maybe it was all meant to be. You’ll get back together and everything will be good again.”

“It’s not like that. We’re not getting back together. We just slipped. No—” she tucked her hair behind her ears “—I’ll be raising this new baby girl on my own.”

“Another girl? You already found out?”

“No, I never want to know—but how could it be a boy? Girls are all Eddie and I seem capable of making.”

Tricia sighed. “Four kids. Wow.”

“
Four kids under seven.
You kind of have to add that part to get the full effect of how tough it’ll be.” She shook her head, not wanting to believe it herself. “You know what? I’m truly going to be an emotional wreck. Not just emotional, but a physical wreck, too, with so much to do. I’ll probably be constantly late, instead of just seventy percent of the time.” With a groan, she
added, “Mrs. Henderson is probably going to threaten to fire me as a child care client.”

“You don’t like her, do you?”

“I like her fine. Well, I trust her with my kids. She’s responsible. But she always seems irritated with me.”

“No one could be irritated about a new baby.”

Privately Shawn was pretty sure Mrs. Henderson would find a way. She cleared her throat as the clock signaled the end of their break. “Please don’t tell anyone else about the baby. I don’t want to tell anyone the news until I let Eddie know.”

“Of course I won’t.” Tricia looked her up and down. “Though…now that I know the real reason you look so healthy, I can’t believe I didn’t see it two months ago. You better tell him ASAP.”

“Yeah, I was thinking that, too.”

“Maybe you could take him to Warner’s and tell him over dinner. That would set the right tone. And it would be a free meal, too.”

For a moment Shawn considered the possibility, then dismissed it just as quickly. No, she just needed to tell Eddie. Tell Eddie and then deal with the consequences.