Back To You (18 page)

“Was your
childhood that awful with me being a Marine?”

“No, it wasn’t. I
loved my life growing up. But now that I’m older, I just think about how Mom
had to be a single parent and make all of these sacrifices for you. I don’t
want to do that to Ellie.”

“Are you saying
that being with your mom was wrong of me? Or that making a career out of the
Marine Corps was wrong?”

“I mean, maybe
it’s just not for everybody. But I remember nights when I could hear her crying
because she missed you when you were gone.”

“Of course she
did. I missed her, too. And I missed you. But I think she would kick your dumb
ass if she heard you cheapening her life like this. Your mother was the
strongest and most amazing woman I will ever know. When other women couldn’t
handle it if their husbands left for a weeklong business trip, she was raising
her son, working, and staying as positive as ever when I would be gone for
months at a time. She never complained about our life, she just made the best
of it. Are you just under the impression that all of the families with Marines
in them are miserable?”

“What about the
crying then? That doesn’t sound like she made the best of it.”

“She was human,
Spencer!” He all but shouted it at me. “She was perfectly entitled to a weak
moment here or there. That doesn’t mean that she would trade our life for
anything. One of the last things she said to me was not to be sad about the
time we missed, because she wouldn’t have traded it for the world.”

I swiped at the
lone tear that had made its way from my eye. Hearing all of this, hearing so
much about Mom in general, was like bringing her death right back to the
present instead of safely tucked away in my past. I hadn’t ever stopped to
think about Mom’s strength, and whether she might have taken pride in being so
tough. I’d only ever blamed dad for trying to balance a family and the Marine
Corps when it was so obvious to me that you couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I
just didn’t want to ever have Ellie crying in the dark while I was gone. And I
didn’t want kids because I never wanted them to have that memory of their
mother.”

His expression
softened. “Look, your mother supported my dream to be in the Marine Corps. She
married me when I was a Private and knew what she was getting herself into. Her
dreams in life became my dreams too, and vice versa. I did my best to give her
everything she wanted whenever it was possible. She wasn’t lacking, son. She was
happy. Even to her last breath.”

I swiped at
another tear and swallowed hard, not trusting my voice to respond.

“This whole thing
was a cop out on your part. You acted like a child because you didn’t want to
grow up and face your future. You made a decision in this situation with Ellie
that was not yours to make. You took the choice away from her by sabotaging
your relationship. If she knew about your concerns, she could have decided for
herself if she wanted this life or not. You sure made an ass out of yourself,
son.”

I smiled bitterly.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because she’s
dating this guy that she works with at her dad’s law firm. I think he might be
exactly what she wants. It’s really hard to hate him, which makes me hate him
even more. You know what he did tonight? He actually told me that he had good
intentions towards Ellie and that he knew I’d kick his ass if he hurt her. He’s
damn right about that. But how do I hate a guy like that?”

Dad laughed again.
“You don’t have to hate him, Spence. But you don’t have to lay down and let him
take your girl away, either.”

Chapter
Nineteen

Ellie

I stared out at
the water, enjoying the feel of the wind as we glided over the Pacific. Eric
had been nice enough to have us all out for a day on his dad’s forty-foot
yacht. I was definitely more than a little hesitant to ask my friends if they
wanted to come. Not because I didn’t want them to, but because it felt really
strange to say, “Hey, guys, want to spend the day on a yacht with me?”

It’s not like I
wasn’t used to spending time on fancy boats. One summer, my dad had joined a
yacht club, allowing us to rent boats for the day for a monthly fee. It was fun
for that summer, and had seemed pretty extravagant at the time. Owning a
million dollar yacht, on the other hand, was way beyond what my family could
afford.

“Hey gorgeous,”
Eric said, coming up behind me. I was leaning on the rail at the back of the
sleek, white boat. He put his hands on the rail on either side of me and rested
his chin on my shoulder. We stood there for a few minutes, just watching the
waves that we left in our wake.

“Where is
everybody?” I asked.

“I think they’re
inside, but I’m not sure. I was up top, and then came right down when I saw how
good you looked back here with the wind in your hair.” He punctuated his words
by running his hands through my blonde hair as it whipped in the wind.

I blushed, smiling
over my shoulder at him. “Thanks for inviting us, it’s been an amazing day so
far.”

“Of course! It
seemed like a good way for your friends to spend the day before their wedding.
I have some champagne in the cabin for a sunset toast.”

I was impressed.
That was probably exactly what he wanted me to be, but I didn’t care. It felt
nice to have a guy pull out all of the stops for me. The last few days since we
all went to the movies had been great. My friends genuinely seemed to like him,
and he seemed to like them, too.

“So, your dad just
lets you take this bad boy out whenever you want?” I asked, referring to the
yacht.

Eric laughed.
“Well, he feels better about it since he hired someone to captain it for us. I
doubt he’ll ever trust me enough to drive it myself. But I’ve only ever come
out here without him once before.”

“I see, so this
isn’t the way you normally spend your Sunday afternoons?”

He shook his head.
“Hate to burst your bubble, but I’m usually just playing Call of Duty at my
apartment on a Sunday afternoon.”

“Well,” I said,
turning to face him, my back against the rail, “I don’t think we’re going to
work out, then. I was under the impression that your life was always this
glamorous. If not…”

I smiled as he
brought his forehead down to mine. We hadn’t kissed yet, and I couldn’t help
but notice that it would be the perfect time for that to happen. I heard the not-so-subtle
sound of someone clearing his throat behind Eric. I rolled my eyes and peered
over his shoulder, seeing Matt coming through the doorway of the cabin. Eric
stepped away from me, looking relatively unperturbed by the interruption. Matt,
Olivia, and Spencer came out of the living area and onto the deck, heading up
the stairs to the lounge area at the front of the boat.

When they were
gone, Eric turned back to me. “So.”

“So,” I parroted,
suddenly a little nervous. “I don’t know much about you, you know.”

“I could say the
same thing about you.”

I frowned. He may
know about my history with Spencer, and my resistance to my dad’s life plans
for me, but not much else. Honestly, there wasn’t much else to tell. What was I
supposed to tell him about, my high school adventures? It didn’t happen often,
but insecurities about our age difference had a way of sneaking up on me.

“I’ll start.” Eric
said, taking a seat on a nearby bench seat. “I was born in San Francisco. My
dad’s law firm opened another branch in San Diego, so we moved here about ten
years ago. Like I told you before, I’ve always known that I wanted to be a
lawyer like my dad, so my high school days were pretty much focused on getting
straight A’s to get into a good college. Then, my college days were spent
keeping that 4.0 record to get into a good law school. I didn’t have much of a
social life, other than what Ashley got me to do here and there.”

“Was Ashley the
one who went back to her ex?”

His eyes flashed a
hint of residual anger and he nodded. “That’s her. Hindsight is twenty-twenty,
but I can’t help but think that maybe if I hadn’t spent so much time focused on
my grades and more time focused on her, things would have been different. I
have this rule now, not to put school or work before a woman again.”

“Did you think she
was ‘the one’?” I asked, pensively. Maybe Eric wasn’t so perfect after all,
since he obviously had some unresolved issues relating to his ex.

“At the time, yes.
But I guess she wasn’t. She’s married to that guy now, I heard they have a
couple of kids.”

I didn’t know what
to say, so I let the silence drag on. We stared out at the ocean for a while,
until Olivia’s excited voice from the side of the yacht broke the silence.

“Hey, you two!
Come join us!”

We made our way
along the boat to the lounge area, holding hands. I was glad that I got to know
a little bit more about Eric, but the thoughts about our age difference kind of
put a damper on it. Thinking about how his ex was married with kids already
seemed to cement that for me. If they hadn’t broken up, he’d be the one married
with kids. At twenty-five, that wasn’t a huge deal. But considering the fact
that I was only eighteen, the thought was kind of intimidating. Was that
something that he wanted right now? Because I didn’t think I could go there
yet. There was a lot that I wanted to do before I had kids. Would he want to
wait until I was his age? That would make him thirty-two. I was shocked by how
old that sounded.

“E?” Spencer’s
voice broke through my silent worrying.

“What? Sorry?”

“I asked if you
wanted a Coke.”

I nodded and
thanked him as he handed me the can from the cooler at his feet. I popped the
top and took a long drink, savoring it. There was something about an iced-cold
Coca-Cola on a hot summer day.

“You look like you’re
in a commercial,” Spencer said, grinning.

I eyed him
suspiciously. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,
you’re wearing a red bikini, sitting on a fancy-ass yacht, drinking a can of
Coke with a smile on your face. It’s like a commercial, or a magazine, or
something.”

I blushed.
“Thanks.”

“So,” Olivia piped
up, probably trying to smooth out the tense silence that followed Spencer’s
observation, “we decided where we wanted to go to dinner tomorrow night.”

“Dinner?” Eric
asked.

Matt nodded.
“Yeah, we figured that since we’ll be having the real wedding later, we’d just
celebrate with dinner after the courthouse.”

“Babe!” Olivia
swatted at Matt’s knee. “Don’t say the ‘real’ wedding, say the ‘big’ wedding.
This wedding is real, too, you know!”

Matt rolled his eyes
playfully at his fiancé. “Sorry, sweetheart. The ‘big’ wedding will have the
reception and everything, so dinner is fine for now.”

“Where did you
pick?” I asked.

Olivia clapped her
hands together in excitement. “We’re going to go to that Italian restaurant
that I love. We went there for my last birthday and it’s amazing!”

“What’s the dress
code, Mills?” Spencer asked.

“Blues.”

I cringed
inwardly. It was not going to be easy seeing Spencer in Dress Blues. There was
just something about that uniform that made Marines super hot, in my opinion. I
scolded myself. That was a horrible thing to think about while sitting on
Eric’s boat, enjoying a Coke from the cooler that he’d provided, just because
I’d mentioned
once
that it was my
favorite soft drink.

“Ellie, I’m so
excited for you to wear that dress we picked out the other day. That blue is
stunning on you!” Olivia complimented me.

“Thank you, but
you’re the one with the special dress! It’s just perfect.”

Matt put his hands
over his ears, jokingly. “Don’t say anything else! I don’t want to hear it!”

“It sounds like
you guys have a great day planned for tomorrow, congratulations, again.” Eric
said, raising his own Coke in salute to the happy couple. It suddenly occurred
to me that he could be drinking beer if he wanted to, but he wasn’t. I wondered
if that was out of respect for us, so as not to highlight the fact that we were
all underage. Or was it because he didn’t want to have underage drinkers on his
dad’s yacht? They were lawyers, after all. I knew just how much the law meant
to my dad, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he was just being a good citizen.

“Sorry you won’t
be there, Eric.” Spencer’s tone was slightly combative, and it had me glaring
daggers at him. He’d been brooding all morning, making little comments here and
there that were definitely less than polite to Eric. As if he wasn’t enjoying a
day on the open ocean courtesy of Eric.

Fed up with the
tension, I excused myself to use the restroom. I made my way to the back of the
boat and into the spacious cabin. It was full of rich mahogany and plush, white
leather. I flipped off my sandals as I stepped onto the pristine white carpet,
the softness of which was cloud-like as I walked down the small hallway to the
bathroom. It occurred to me that the carpeting and leather couches didn’t seem
very practical for wet feet or swimsuits, but practicality wasn’t a priority
for the super rich. The small bathroom was just as luxurious as the rest of the
cabin, and I felt the need to wipe the water droplets off the edge of the sink
after I washed my hands.

When I opened the
tiny door and stepped out of the bathroom, I jumped when I saw Spencer leaning
against the wall. My hand went up to my chest automatically, and I could feel
my heart pounding beneath it. I wasn’t sure if that was because he had startled
me, or because he was standing there all shirtless and flushed from the sun. There
was no way to get past him. His large frame took up the entire width of the
hallway. For a moment, we just stood there, staring at each other. The cramped
quarters forced him to be so close that I could feel the heat from the sun
radiating off of him. I took a step back, just to put some distance between us.
Unfortunately, that put me in the bedroom area of the cabin. The backs of my legs
touched the soft duvet of the bed behind me, and I froze.

“You okay?” He
eyed me, a wicked smile playing at the corners of his lips.

I swallowed, not
sure what to say.
Damn him.

He seemed to be
deliberating about something, and I would bet this yacht that I knew what it
was. I just hoped he made the right choice and just went into the bathroom and
let me pass. I wasn’t sure what I would do if he went with the other option. It
was clear that there were still sparks between us, and I was scared to death of
how I would react if he put his hands on me right now.

Thankfully, he
shook his head and ducked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. I let
out an audible breath, flopping down on the bed behind me. Just as soon as I
did, I realized that he wasn’t going to stay in there forever. In order to
avoid a repeat performance, I jumped up and scrambled out of the gorgeous
cabin. The ocean breeze felt like a lifeline. I stood there, drinking it in,
and tried to collect myself before I had to face Eric. I felt like a total
tramp.

“Elizabeth?” Eric
made his way to the back of the boat and reached for me.

“Hey,” I replied,
forcing a smile as I took his hand.

“I just came back
to check on you. You look pale, are you sea sick?”

I closed my eyes,
feeling guilty. “Maybe a little.”

“Can I get you
anything?” The concern was clear in his eyes, making me feel even worse for
what had just transpired.

“No, I’m fine. It
passed.” I pulled him over to the railing and leaned against his chest like we
had earlier. I knew I was being sneaky, positioning Eric so that his back was
to the cabin door for when Spencer came out.

“There’s something
we need to talk about,” Eric began, whispering in my ear. “I don’t think
Spencer just wants to be your friend. I think he wants more.”

I blinked, not
responding for a moment. There was no way he had seen what just went on, right?
No, he couldn’t have. “What makes you say that?”

“The way he looks
at you. It’s not platonic.”

I took a deep
breath, and just like before, I turned in his arms to face him. “What Spencer
and I had was barely a relationship at all. We were only in the same state for
two days of it. Besides, he was the one that ended things. He didn’t want to be
with me like that. We’re better as friends. If he felt that way about me, why
would he have done what he did?”

Eric shrugged,
staring over my head. “Maybe he was freaked out and sabotaged it, and now he’s
regretting that.”

I put my hand on
his cheek, bringing his eyes back to mine. “Even if that’s true, it’s too late
now.”

Eric smiled down
at me, his arms leaving the rail on either side of my waist and wrapping around
me. He leaned down, slowly, and brought his lips to mine. He smelled like the
ocean and sunscreen, and his soft lips were salty and warm after spending all
day in the sun. I brought my other hand up and around his neck, pulling him
closer. His touch was gentle and sweet, a slow burn, as our mouths moved
together. He gave my lips one last peck, and then pulled back, bending his head
to nuzzle my neck.

I gasped when I saw
Spencer in the doorway of the cabin. The hurt from what he’d just witnessed was
plain on his face. He looked like he’d been slapped, his eyes huge and full of
betrayal. There was only one thing that was more shocking than the emotions
splayed out across the deck in front of me, and that was just how much the
force of his pain actually hurt me, too.