Back To You (23 page)

His sudden subject
change back to our relationship startled me. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I think
you’re right. Everything might not have gotten so messed up before if we’d ironed
things out before jumping in. I don’t want to make that same mistake again.”

I pursed my lips
and thought about it. “Well, you admitted to me why you did what you did. I
don’t think you’ll do it again. So, I’m all good.”

Spencer smiled and
rubbed his hand down my arm like he was trying to warm me up. “You know what?”

“What?”

“I’m the only one who’s
been doing the confessing. I’m sure you’ve talked to Olivia about how you feel,
but not me.”

I shrugged. “I
actually planned on telling you exactly how I felt tonight.”

“It’s about time.
I feel like I’ve poured my heart out to you a million times in the last few
months! I don’t even recognize myself anymore!”

“Well, maybe I was
just enjoying the role reversal of you being the sensitive one for once!”

He poked my side
and I snickered. “Well, spill. Everything. From the beginning.”

“Okay, you asked
for it.” I took a swig of my Coke and put it back on the tailgate next to me.
“When you punched Tim in the nose at that bar, I thought it was probably the
sexiest thing ever. Until later in the hotel, when the sexiest thing ever was
how you had me up against that wall.”

His hand clenched
and released on my arm and I knew I had his attention.

“Then,” I
continued, “that entire weekend was better than anything I’ve had with a guy.
And right up until you called me saying that you had hooked up with those
skanks, I was completely sure that we were in a relationship and it was going
to be a great one.”

Again, his hand
got tighter on my arm, but for a different reason.

“When I was dating
Eric and you were home for break, I tried to convince myself that we were best
as friends. But that day on the boat when we had that moment by the bathroom, I
had to work really hard to ignore what I felt for you.”

“Really? Because
you were kissing Eric when I came upstairs.”

I narrowed my eyes
at his tone. “Like I said, I tried really hard to ignore my feelings.”

Spencer shook his
head. “Yeah, well, it was hard to see.”

I cringed as I
remembered the hurt on his face. “I’m sorry that you did.”

“I’m not. It was
exactly what I needed to stop being a pussy and do whatever it took to be with
you. Anyway, go on.”

“Okay, well, when
you confessed all of that stuff to me after the wedding, it really messed me
up. I was at lunch the next day with Eric and he told me that he didn’t want me
to settle for him if I was actually in love with you.”

Spencer stiffened.
“And are you?”

“What?” I played
dumb, meeting his gaze.

“Are you in love
with me?”

I stared at him. I
had promised myself that I would be honest with him about my feelings tonight,
but was I ready to say those words? Tim and I had said them, but the comparison
between that feeling and this one was nonexistent. This feeling was so much
stronger, so much deeper, than anything I’d ever felt before.

Spencer looked out
at the water again, visibly disappointed that I hadn’t answered yet. I put a
hand under his chin and turned his face back to me. I nodded at him with the
barest hint of a smile. “Yes, I am.”

The look of relief
and happiness on his face made me feel light as he wrapped his arms tightly around
me, kissing me deeply. I smiled and kissed him one last time before nuzzling
into his chest.

“I love you, E.”
He whispered, his cheek resting on the top of my head as he held me in place.
“I think I always have. I don’t care how many different girls I’ve dated or
boyfriends you’ve had, it’s always come back to you.”

I lifted my face
and kissed him again, and he used the arm that was behind my back to lift me
onto his lap. I had a knee on either side of his thighs, our eyes locked in
place. I felt his hands slip under my tank top and meander over my sides and
back, then dip slightly below the waist of my jeans. My hands were on his
chest, feeling the strength of his muscles through the flannel shirt. I made my
way through the buttons down the front and pulled the shirt from his shoulders.
He had a black tank underneath it and I splayed my fingers over the muscles in
his shoulders and arms as ran his hands along my thighs.

He kissed a trail
down my neck and onto my chest. The cut of my tank top was low, and he moved
his lips along the spot where the top of my breasts rose out of the shirt. The
closeness of our bodies left little to the imagination as far as the state of
his arousal. I pressed my hips tighter against him and he moaned slightly as he
brought his lips back to my mouth. He took the kiss deeper and deeper as I
pressed myself against him.

Without warning,
he pulled away. I could see him wrestling with something in his mind as his
eyes traveled from my face to my cleavage and back again.

I ran a hand
through my hair. “What’s wrong?”

“We don’t have to
take this any further if you don’t want to.” His breath was ragged. He meant
every word, but I could see in his eyes that he didn’t want to stop.

“It’s okay. I want
to.”

He flashed a
nervous smile and swallowed. “Olivia offered up the guest room.”

I chuckled. Of
course she did.

He held up a hand.
“Or we could just stay here. Up to you.”

I looked around
the dark beach, the only lights coming from other fires and the headlights of
passing cars. There was a party happening at the next fire pit over, and there
were cars on the road either coming or going from the other pits. As awkward as
it might be if we were caught sneaking into Olivia’s house right now, getting
busted for sex in public was worse.

“We should go, the
fire’s out anyway,” I replied.

He kissed me again
and lifted me by the hips. I jumped down and waited while he dumped out our
soda cans and threw them in the back of his truck before lifting the tailgate.
As usual, he opened my door and helped me up. I couldn’t help but notice that
his flannel shirt was now wadded up in his hand, and he looked incredible in
just the black tank and jeans. Once again, I rebuked myself for never having
taken advantage of his body before.

I couldn’t help
but notice how nervous he looked as he walked around the front of the truck to
get into the driver’s seat. It actually made me happy. The fact that he was
nervous about sex with me meant that I wasn’t just another piece of ass to him.
Getting laid was the typical end to all of his dates, but I could tell that it
was special this time.

As we pulled away
from the beach and headed off the island, Spencer rested his hand on my thigh.
He moved his hand up and down a few times and I could tell that he was still
feeling hot after our make-out session. I stared out the window, trying to
think of something to say. We wouldn’t be to Matt and Olivia’s place for
another ten minutes. We couldn’t just sit there in lusty silence that whole
time, could we?

“You know what’s
funny?” Spencer asked. I wondered if he might have been trying for distraction
methods as well.

“What’s funny?”

“Now that I told
my dad about us, we can’t crash there anymore.”

I giggled. “True.
That would be embarrassing.”

“It’s just funny
how many times you’ve slept over before and it was never an issue.”

“Yeah,” I agreed,
“but I was also on the couch and fully clothed. That’s not exactly what we’re
going to do tonight.”

I could see his
Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. It was kind of fun making him uneasy. I’d
never felt the need to be flirty or sexual with Tim before, we just had sex
whenever it was convenient and there wasn’t much passion to it. I had a feeling
that that wouldn’t be the case with Spencer, since even the foreplay was hotter
than anything I’d done before.

We got to the
townhouse and Spencer wasted no time in getting us out of the truck and to the
front door. He unlocked it with a key from his own key ring, so he must have a
spare for whenever he wanted to stay there. The house was dark and quiet when
we entered. Spencer took my hand and tugged me up the stairs that lead to the
second level where the living room and kitchen were. Everything was turned off,
so I figured Matt and Olivia were already in bed. Thank God.

We continued up
the next flight of stairs that led to the highest level of the townhome, where
the bedrooms were. Their door was shut and I could see the bluish glow from the
muted TV from beneath it. We tiptoed silently into the spare room and Spencer
closed the door behind us with a quiet click before turning to face me.

I didn’t know what
to do, so I just stood at the foot of the bed with my hands in my back pockets.
His gaze raked over me and I could see from the moonlight coming through the
open window that he had fire in his eyes. He closed the distance between us and
put a hand on either side of my neck. I could feel the warmth of his breath as
he combed his fingers through my hair and tipped my head back. My heart was
hammering inside my chest so loud that I knew he must hear it.

So far, the
majority of our kisses had been either intense and passionate or quick and
companionable pecks. This kiss, however, was different. I could tell that he
was taking his time. His tongue parted my lips and I sighed as he gently
explored my mouth. His hands were running tenderly over my body, keeping to the
slow and steady rhythm that his tongue was making.

My hands, which
had been hanging limply at my sides, suddenly developed a mind of their own and
reached for the hem of his tank. I tugged it upward, enjoying the taut muscles
of his abs as he moved to allow me to bring the shirt over his head. He pressed
one of his hands against the small of my back, bringing me closer against his
naked chest. All I could think about was what it would feel like when he took
my shirt off too, allowing for skin-to-skin contact.

Thankfully, I
didn’t have to wait long to feel his warm body against mine. He pulled off my
tank top and discarded it on the floor behind him, his eyes widening at the
sight of my provocative, strapless bra. He ran his thumbs over the lace that
cupped my breasts and let out a deep breath.

“Are you sure?” He
asked, looking deep into my eyes. “I’m only asking now because if we go any
further…”

“I’m sure.” I
couldn’t get the words out fast enough.

“Good.”

With a swift flick
of his wrist, the bra was on the floor at our feet and my breast was in his
mouth as he lifted me against him. I could feel the hardness in his jeans
pressed against me and I shuddered. I wrapped my legs around him, instantly
wishing that we’d started by removing the jeans instead of the shirts as the
ache for him built inside of me. He lowered me to the bed and braced himself
above me with his elbows. His mouth was skillfully devouring mine, his kisses
growing more frantic as I worked my hips against him. He used one hand to
swiftly get me out of my jeans, revealing a black thong that matched the
forgotten bra.

I lowered my hands
from tracing the contours of his back to the waistband of his jeans, one hand
grazing his back pocket. I felt the crinkle of a wrapper and paused, reaching
into the pocket to reveal a condom. I held it in two fingers and brought it
between us so that he could see it.

“Somebody was
prepared for this.” I teased, waving the condom.

Spencer laughed,
and the motion was jarring with his thigh pressed snuggly between my legs.
“Somebody had to be. I don’t suppose you have one of those in your purse do
you?”

I bit my lip.

“Are you kidding
me?” He asked, incredulous.

“I had some in my
drawer from when I was with Tim. I just wanted to be prepared, too.”

Spencer covered my
mouth with his finger. “Don’t talk about Tim right now. I’m glad we were on the
same page, though.”

He took the condom
from my fingers and placed it between his teeth, rolling off of me and removing
his pants. I propped myself up on my elbow and watched as he tugged off his
boxer-briefs and rolled the rubber sheath in place. In one fluid motion, he had
my panties discarded somewhere near the bra on the floor. With a confidence
that I hadn’t known myself to possess, I climbed on top of him and lowered my
body until we fit together completely. I inhaled sharply, and watched as
Spencer’s eyes squeezed shut and he grabbed my hips.

I was straddling
him, surprised by how bold my actions were as I rocked my hips against him. My
hands explored his well-toned chest as I watched him watch me. The amazing
feeling of having him inside of me caused a soft moan to escape my lips. Before
I knew what was happening, I was flipped onto my back and staring into Spencer’s
deep blue gaze. He moved rhythmically in and out of me, and I let out a cry at
the sensation of it. He sealed his lips over mine to muffle the sound. I raked
my fingers down his back and finally rested them on his backside, pulling him
deeper into me. I relished in the feel of him rocking against me and quietly
urged him not to stop.

He groaned in
response and reached up to grasp the top of the headboard. The sight of his
long torso stretched out above me was an amazing visual, and I noticed his gaze
was fixated on my bare chest beneath him. He used his other hand to knead my
breast and then brought it up to my cheek, his thumb tracing my bottom lip as I
arched toward him. He moaned and crushed his lips to mine, not breaking the
kiss when he shifted me again and I found myself with my legs wrapped around
him as he sat on the bed. His strong arms moved my body up and down, our skin
slick with sweat and gliding easily against one another. I kissed his shoulder
and up his neck, tasting salt.