I let out a low, nervous laugh.
“What’s wrong?” He doesn’t wait for my response. “Maybe that was too much information. Ok, let’s forget about the wolves, if that idea makes you feel uncomfortable.”
“He’s my best friend, Jason. Of course the idea makes me uncomfortable.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make light of the situation,” he says in formal tones. Hanging out with old-school vampires means that some of their ways have rubbed off on him.
“No, I’m sorry. Don’t worry, go have fun. I’ll be waiting for you here.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Take as long as you need. Just not too long,” I smile. “And sink your teeth into some old grizzly for me, too.”
I spend the few minutes we have left with my arms around his chest, looking deep into his penetrating eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I can’t help but admire his handsome reflection in the window looking out onto the tree-lined street of the campus. But then, from the very same windowpane, I spot Vuk’s emerald eyes watching me. I turn to see my best friend leaning casually against the wall by the entrance.
“I’ll see you when I get back,” Jason whispers tenderly in my ear. He slips out of the room, nodding politely to Vuk as he walks by. Vuk exchanges the farewell, his though, devoid of any affability. In an instant, Vuk is by my side, studying me.
“Everything ok with your vampire boyfriend?” He asks, forcing his expression to be one of phony goodwill.
His eyes are cool and collected as he waits for my reply, but his body is rigid, anxious.
“No, Vuk, not at all!”
“What happened? Did he treat you bad?” His fists tighten.
“No. Of course he didn’t misbehave. I wish!”
“You wish? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s not upset with me, or with you.”
“He’s not … not pissed?” Vuk sounds incredulous, though a little disgusted. Is that a trace of admiration I hear in his voice too?
“No. The good-natured way he took everything even worsened my mood. Believe me, he was too kind.”
“I don’t believe you. I mean, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t try to harm you, but I had no idea he’d take things well.”
“If only he’d gotten angry, shouted at me or something like that.”
“I was counting on some kind of reaction,” Vuk admits.
“I deserve to be yelled at, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He didn’t even get upset at Donn. He just wants me to be happy.”
The mere sound of Donn’s name being pronounced causes Vuk to tense up, his eyes gaze off into the distance.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Yesterday, didn’t Donn give you some kind of ultimatum?”
“Just promise you won’t judge him, right? I’m not allowed to come visit you in New Hampshire. Yes, Donn told me where you live. He was steadfast about that. But if it’s any comfort, he placed restrictions on Jason, too.”
“Damn him!” Vuk blurts. “I was expecting something like this. But I didn’t think he’d have the guts to actually ban you from coming to see me. That’s out of order, a low blow! Things are looking a bit bleak this week. First Donn comes back, then Jason. And now this!” He runs a hand aggressively through his hair. “I hope he’s kidding!”
“I don’t think so.”
“Dumbass bloodsucker. What gives him the right to tell you that you can’t live your life? Or would he rather see you locked in a coffin? Does he allow you to breathe?” His words pour out in pure rage.
“He’s just trying to keep me safe,” I say, but there’s no point in continuing a discussion that would only rub salt into the wound. Suddenly, Vuk eyes dart to a point beyond my shoulders, his face darkens, his jaws tense.
“Hell! He’s better at this than I thought,” he says, looking in the direction of the door. His eyes become two narrow slits.
I recognize this expression; only one person brings it on. I sense that Donn has entered the room, I don’t even need to ask. I turn with great anticipation and there he is, my personal guarantor. The fact that I managed to tear my eyes away from that sculpted body of his is proof of the impossible beauty of his face.
“No, I’m not kidding, and I’m not playing games,” roars Donn. I don’t even have time to blink and he’s already by our side.
Vuk face darkens further.
“Sure you are. You play as tough a game as me. It’s just that you’re more of a charming expert than I am. I don’t have enough experience yet to unmask your little tricks.”
“He’s not charming me!” I exclaim defensively, but I can’t tear my eyes off him. Donn’s eyes are hypnotic, and the soft curve of his lips show a vague satisfaction.
“Yes he is! Wake up, Stella, smell the coffee. He’s not the Mr. Perfect you think he is!”
“You can talk, after you tried to kiss her,” he smiles. I blush at his words. Vuk’s eyes flick momentarily to Donn, then they’re back on me.
“Listen, Stella, I’m glad you’ve forgiven me, even for what happened at the bar the other day. I shouldn’t have gotten so close to you. I was wrong. I think. I dunno, maybe I was under the illusion that something might have happened between us. I knew it would complicate things, but I’d do it again. But at least you understand what I feel.”
“Really? You think it’s better this way?”
“Why not?” he answers quickly. “I’m still your best friend, aren’t I?”
“What the hell are you thinking?” Donn demands.
“What’s it to you?” roars Vuk, spinning around to look at him. “You’d rather just send me off to be killed, right, Mr. Council man?”
“No, Vuk,” I gasp, fighting back the tears. “Don’t be an idiot. Do you really want to see me suffer?”
“Ah, what difference does it make, Stella? Maybe everyone would be better off that way.”
I whimper, my chest starts to heave from the sobs.
“What are you crying for?” snorts Vuk, sharply. Then he places a comforting hand on my shoulder, his voice now no more than an incredulous whisper.
“But you are crying…”
“Of course.”
“No one has ever cried for me.” His whisper of disbelief makes my throat knot up.
“I have.” I try to control my breathing. “Yes, I have.”
He moves his glance from Donn to me, and he seems touched.
“Well thanks for saying it out loud.”
“It’s the truth, you don’t have to thank me.”
He smiles and lets his hand fall from my shoulder.
“I only said what I said because Donn is here. I wasn’t serious.” He pats my head soothingly. “Don’t worry, little girl, we’ll find a way out of this.”
A moment of silence. He seems to be waiting for me to say something; I try to find the right words.
“But I don’t see a way,” is all I can muster to say.
“First of all, I’ll step aside and behave myself. That is if Donn allows you to see me, of course.”
“Are you kidding?” I ask.
“Maybe.” He forces a laugh. “But I swear I’ll try.”
“Don’t be such a pessimist.”
“Just have a little faith in me,” he retorts, his voice hoarse, low.
“What do you mean, that you’ll behave yourself?”
“I’ll be your best friend, Stella. I’ll ask nothing more of you,” he adds smoothly.
I get the meaning behind his words. He’s trying to say that he’ll give up the fight because he cares about me with all his heart and he doesn’t want to lose me. He has to be satisfied with just being my friend.
“I’m afraid it’s too late, Vuk,” Donn says. “How can you be just friends, when you lust after her so much? Maybe it has to be a long-distance friendship when you’re not on campus.”
“Vuk needs to know that he can see me outside of college hours, outside the campus,” I explain. “That’s an inevitability of our friendship. Without forgetting the task he was given by Graham, Aaron … I owe it to him.”
“Nothing can tear us apart, whatever decision you make,” adds Vuk, his eyes piercing holes into Donn.
“However things go …” I mumble, engrossed in my thoughts.
“I can’t allow you to cross the border,” roars Donn. “It’s too dangerous. There can be no argument, no compromise!”
“Right,” I mumble.
“Try to understand, I worry about you going into wolf territory, Donn continues. “If something were to happen, I couldn’t intervene. Do you really want the truce to be jeopardized? Is that what you want?”
“No.” I’m causing everyone pain. Everything I touch seems to crumble. I’m selfish, I just torture all those who care about me.”
“Then there’s nothing else to discuss,” says Donn. “And stop torturing yourself.”
“Right. I should concentrate my energy into tormenting you a bit more.”
Donn narrows his eyes, but betrays no emotion
“I must admit, Stella, your mind fascinates me. If nothing else, you see things differently than most people.”
“Right,” I agree. “I know I can be a bit eccentric at times, so seeing that my mind works in a roundabout way. So I’ve got no choice about Vuk?”
“Of course you have, in theory,” Donn says. “But why would you choose the most dangerous option?”
“Because that option allows me to see Vuk, my best friend. And that makes it a risk worth taking.” My expression changes as the words tumble out of my mouth. Donn looks at me incredulously.
“What a load of nonsense. Don’t you get it? His instincts are uncontrollable. And that makes you an easy target. Don’t you see that this worries me? If he were to transform and change, he could kill you.”
“I don’t think he could.”
Donn doesn’t answer, he limits himself to giving me a crushing stare, in eloquent silence.
“He can’t control his instincts,” he finally says, frustrated.
“I’m not saying he couldn’t hurt me if he wanted to. But he wouldn’t want to. I don’t believe he ever could.”
“No.” Donn shakes his head, cutting off my train of thought. “You can’t really know how things could go, and Vuk is aware of that. But now I have to speak to Graham before the meeting to sanction yesterday’s deal with the other members of the family.” I nod timidly as his hand takes mine.
“Do you mind if I do one thing?” Donn asks in that irresistible voice of his as he pulls me in for an embrace.
“Depends on what it is.”
“I don’t bite, you know?” he murmurs, his voice velvety smooth.
“Careful, Stella. I have my doubts,” cuts in Vuk. Donn throws him a nasty glance. I feel my face flush with embarrassment.
“Go ahead.” Donn pulls me behind him protectively. Vuk crosses his arms, he looks mad. I feel uncomfortable when I see Vuk’s reaction and my body stiffens in resistance.
“Donn, no. Be nice to him. You’re embarrassing me.”
“Please, please,” he repeats. “Remember you said I could.”
The words are spinning in my head, some of them not very flattering, others shamefully sweet and loving. But instead of embarrassing myself further, I just whisper.
“Ok.”
I signal with my eyes to Vuk for him to wait; he rolls his eyes and looks around the room. Donn wanders off and stops in front of the same window in which I admired Jason’s reflection earlier.
“You need patience, Stella. I can’t give you what you want right now, but maybe in the future.”
“I hope so.” But I’m not really sure what he means. He comes close to me and holds me tight in his arms, his lips brush against my ear. His sweet breath sends shivers throughout my body.
“I can’t stand this,” he says abruptly. “With everything you could have asked for, this is what you want?” He looks at Vuk, torment making his voice harsh and rough, as if he had a huge knot that needs untying in his throat. I stand still and watch him.
“According to the rules of the contract, you have to back me up,” he continues, more severely now, although he is struggling to betray no emotion. “Guaranteeing for someone is a big deal, at least in my world. And the pact was signed in blood, so to speak.” His eyes dart to my wrist. “Why are you pushing me away?” he asks breathlessly. His slight insecurity takes me by surprise, and I realize he’s not asking me this as the guarantor of the deal, but as Donn Brooks, the man.
I remain motionless, and my breathing becomes more regular. “Please, don’t misunderstand me,” I suggest. “You know … I don’t want to have to change …”
“Then don’t reject me,” he interrupts. “Anything but that.”
I nod slowly and wait for him to continue. He adds nothing, so I try to bring the conversation back round to where I want it to go.
“So … you’re saying I can’t go visit Vuk?”
“Stella, things won’t always be this way, it’ll all be over soon,” he assures me. “Do you know how hard it is for me to try to give in to a request like yours? Who, between the two of us, is more reluctant to give the other what they really want? You’re the unwilling party here. So I won’t consent to it unless I get something in return. And there’s nothing I’d like more than just being with you. Having you. You’ll always be my baby girl, Stella.”
“Oh, you are such …” I hold back, holding my emotions in making an effort not to blurt out a hasty response. No definition that is mean or terrible enough comes to mind. But the more I seem to be seething, the more amused he looks.
He chuckles and unfurls his perfect smile, bringing my hand up to his mouth to kiss the palm of my hand.
“Have you decided you are going to irritate me to no end?”
“Very mature, Donn, really. And to think you have several hundred years advantage over me.”
“You’re right about that.” he exclaims, his shining eyes still on me. “You know that my impatience and my feelings towards you are your best defense, baby girl.”
I shake my head stubbornly, not wanting to give in to him. “No,” I snap. “I can’t believe I fell for your bull again!” My previous cool composure is in shambles. But Donn just laughs and turns my hand over and starts playing with my fingers.
I watch his hand, afraid to look him in the face. I can feel the blood rising up my cheeks, the contrast between my burning body heat and his cold even more noticeable when he runs his icy fingers along my cheekbone.
“Why are you blushing?” he asks. I don’t even bother to look at him. “Stella, please, this uncertainty is wearing me out.”
I don’t answer, I can’t find the right words to say.
“Stella,” he scolds. His reproaching tone reminds me just how hard it is for him to keep his promises. He has already broken one today by reading my mind. And I don’t know what to think.