Ballers: His Game (Ballers Series Book 1) (4 page)

I make my plane exhausted, horny as hell from thoughts of last night and disgusted that I walked out without leaving my number. We didn’t use condoms. I really should have left my number. I want to see her again, that should have been reason enough. I blew it, I know I did.

I went from wanting her when I first saw her to the need to have her and now I’ll never have her again. I’ve never discriminated when it comes to women. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman. However, she didn’t want me and I have to accept that and let this go.

I don’t feel like talking on the plane, but that doesn’t stop Troy. He is grinning like a fool, which tells me he had a good night. He nudges me and pulls my ear bud from my ear.

“So you’ll be getting on that dry cleaning this week,” he chuckles. “Did I see the girl you ended up with last night? You were sitting with the ice queen the last time I looked in on you.”

“You saw who I went home with,” I grumble. “I’m pretty sure you went home with her best friend.”

“Wait, get the fuck… seriously. You went home with Stacey’s friend? That bad black chick?” He looks at me incredulously.

“Wipe the shock off your face,” I gripe. “Wait, the blonde told you her name?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sticking my dick in her unless she did. Anyway, I don’t believe you. Prove it,” he accuses.

I sigh and shake my head. A part of me doesn’t care if he believes me. I don’t need to prove it. Then there is the part of me that knows she didn’t want me because I am white, and that part of me wants to show that for a few hours my color didn’t matter to her. She had been picky in the first place but she let me inside her body, not any other man.

I pull my phone from my pocket and opened up the picture I took when she fell asleep in my arms. You could see the side of her beautiful face while the other side was pressed against my chest. You could slightly see the top of her bare shoulder through her long hair above the sheet but that was it.

I hadn’t taken the picture to prove anything. My brother had text me; I retrieved the phone to make sure it wasn’t an emergency. I had been admiring her lying across my chest for longer than I cared to admit before I decided to take the picture. I wanted something to remember her by.

“I’ll be damn, you pretty motherfu –,” I cut him off when I grab my phone back. “I didn’t think you had a chance. I didn’t think anyone did to be honest.”

“Me either, trust me,” I huff.

“Well was it not good, cause you look like you just got told your dog was run over,” Troy asks and really looks concerned.

I laugh humorlessly. “I didn’t get her name or her number. It was the best sex of my life and I just walked out. I should have woken her or left my number or something.”

“Oh nah, one night and you pussy whipped. You did the right thing. We’ll take you out this weekend and find you a nice little snowflake to help you feel better,” he laughs.

I frown at him and put my ear bud back in. If I would have listened to what my family taught me I would have the number to the girl that somehow stole my heart at first sight. Listening to Troy and ‘keep it simple’ has me heading to California empty handed and feeling stupid. Suddenly I realize how much I miss home. Last night was the closest feeling I have had to being home in a long time.

Chapter 3

It’s been seven whole weeks since I woke up in my bed all alone. No note, no nothing, nothing but the scent of his cologne on the pillow next to me and a sore body as my proof he was ever there. I thought we had some kind of connection that night. It wasn’t just sex. At least it wasn’t for me. He turned out to be amazing, the way he paid attention to me and my body.

The fun we had together during those few hours in the middle of the night were not just some random hook up. I never laughed and connected with a guy like I had with him. We talked and fell into a comfortable zone.

Well I guess I was wrong because he walked out without a word after. I was stupid enough to spread my legs and let him in. That night keeps haunting me at every turn no matter what I do. The embarrassment from it goes on and on.

I arrived at my parent’s house that following evening for my party and was totally humiliated. I’d worn a spaghetti strap yellow sundress, I had bought weeks before just for the party. It was a hot day and night, making the dress perfect. That is until my mom walked up behind me in the yard. I had been sitting thinking about Dimples leaving without a word and I had started to perspire in the heat. I absentmindedly scooped my hair up and clipped it up with a clip from my purse.

My mom pinched my ribs and giggled in my ear. “I see you finally decided to have a little fun,” she chortled.

I wrinkled my nose and looked over my shoulder at her. “What do you mean,” I asked confused.

She threw her head back and laughed. “Tam you may want to put your hair back down. You have passion marks all over you,” she laughed harder as the color drained from my face. “Oh baby you didn’t know. There is a huge one on the back of your neck and one here,” she poked my back. “And one is peeking out here.” She poked the side of my dress by my ribs.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “Oh mom, I am so sorry,” I reached to tear my hair back down to camouflage. My mom fluffed my hair and arranged it to help hide the marks. I had seen the one on my inner thigh this afternoon and the two on my belly and I thought it was funny until I got annoyed again that he left and didn’t say anything.

“Sorry for what,” my mom sighed. “You are a beautiful woman and obviously you found someone who is passionate about that beauty. You worry about what everyone else thinks and wants too much, Tamara. Your father and I are proud of you. Now, will we be meeting this young man today?”

“No, mommy,” I said sadly, realizing for the first time how much knowing that I wouldn’t see him again hurt.

“Tam, look at me. You have always made decisions that were right for you. We all may not agree with them when you make them but in the end you always make them work. It amazes me every time and I wonder what I did to get such a special daughter.” My mom brushed a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Thanks mom,” I said and gave her a fierce hug.

When I got home that night I stripped down and found the map of Dimples’ journey around my body. Who does that? I wish I could believe in my mother’s words now. Since that night all my decisions have seem to bite me in the behind, like not wearing protection. I had to be wasted. I would never do something like that. I have known since I was sixteen that I have an allergic reaction to birth control. My doctor tried to regulate my cycle with it and needless to say it didn’t go so well.

I should have taken a morning after pill or something, but I didn’t even remember how stupid I had been until three days later. When Stacey cornered me and Reese to spill all the details of her night with Dimples’ friend, it hit me what I had done. She was busy going on and on about him being hung like a horse and that’s when the memories hit me. I couldn’t remember one condom being used, but I could remember orgasm after orgasm where I went over the edge and I felt him follow.

So I am not surprised that there is a test in my bathroom that is screaming at me that I am pregnant. This was not a part of my plan. I am supposed to be starting my new job and paving my way to partner in the firm. A baby was never part of that plan but silly me, not only did I sleep with the guy. I let him leave me with a baby.

I have sat here crying for two hours. I’m pissed he gets to walk away and I have to stay and face the consequences. I’ve thought about googling what teams played that Thursday night and which ones won then checking their rosters but every time I go to do it I stop. He left. He doesn’t want to be found. I’m sure he definitely doesn’t want to be found so that I can tell him he has a kid on the way. He probably has a trophy girlfriend at home and I would just be ruining their life, just like I ruined mine.

I cried all I can and now it is time to face reality and call in the cavalry. I text Stacey, Reese and my girl Alee 911 and ask them to come over. I look a mess and they take notice right away. One thing we don’t do is look a mess. Alee has been doing my hair since forever. To see me tossed about is a shock to her.

“Okay so are you going to tell us what is going on,” Reese asks raising her brow at me. She is tapping away at her phone no doubt reassuring Nico that she is fine. The man is crazy about her and never lets her out of his sight.

Thinking of the tall Italian man that has taken over my friend’s heart makes me think of my own situation. Nico is gorgeous and I never once questioned my friend’s choice. So why do I have such a problem dating white men myself. If Dimples had stuck around would I have really been open to a relationship with him? Well it doesn’t matter now.

“What I’m going to tell you, you can’t share with anyone. Ellerie is going to lose it,” I say as tears well up in my eyes.

Alee sits silent but frowns at the mention of my brother. I don’t have time to sort out that drama today. As if reading my mind she schools her expression and nods.

“Okay sweetie, you know I won’t say anything you don’t want me to,” Reese says with sincerity and concern.

“Whatever it is please spit it out, you have me breaking out in hives,” Stacey complains.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out as the tears run over.

“Wait what,” Reese gasps, “The ball player from the club?”

I bite my lip and nod trying to hold back the sobs. Reese looks like the wheels are turning in her head. Reese is a problem solver it is a part of her nature and the reason she is so good at business.

“Okay, so we just tell him. Troy text me the other day asking me to meet up before playoffs start, I can ask him to pass a message along,” Stacey offers.

“No,” I shake my head.

“Maybe Nico knows him and can talk to him or tell us more about him. I know they play different sports but Nico and his brothers know tons of people. If they don’t know him I know his brother can find him. This Troy guy, what team is he on? He can at least give us a name,” Reese suggests.

“No, no, no, I don’t want to know. He walked out. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t leave a way to contact him. This is not his problem. I’ll handle it on my own,” I sniffle.

“So you plan to keep it right,” Alee asks. “I mean I never thought you would be the first but I just can’t see you doing anything other than keeping it.”

“It’s my baby,” is all I can say.

“Well you know I am here for you whenever you need,” Reese says soothingly.

“My sentiments exactly,” Alee chimes in.

“I wish I could say the same,” Stacey says with a distant look on her face. Reese, Alee and I all look at her like she is crazy. “Oh Doll, not like that, I mean I’m here whenever you need me but I just won’t be here, here, like in New York. My dad is pissed about me burning through my divorce settlement and my trust and he has some clauses he is threatening to use to cut me off if I don’t move to Texas where he can keep an eye on me.” Stacey sighs then shrugs.

The wheels start spinning in my head and my plan snaps into place. My baby may not be able to know who their father is but maybe I could do the next best thing. He had let out that he was born and raised in Texas. I could tell in the way he talked about it that he missed home. It must be a great place to grow up.

I could give my baby that, to know a part of where their father is from. I need a change. I need a fresh start.

“I’ll come with you,” I tell Stacey.

“What? To Texas, are you serious? But what about your job, you wanted to be a lawyer?” Stacey says half excited, half concerned.

“I can take the bar exam there and find a job. My dad can probably help. There are just as many athletes in Texas as there are in New York. I can travel if needed. I want to go. He was from Texas I think it would be kind of cool to have the baby there,” I shrug.

“You do know Texas is huge. It’s not like you are going to run into him in the grocery store or something,” Stacey says and presses her lips.

“I’m not going there to run into him in the grocery store,” I huff.

“I think I get it,” Reese says with a smile. “I also think you can’t hide forever. These things have a way of coming out.”

“Reese, you of all people should understand why I’m doing this. What if he has someone that loves him? I don’t want to drop a baby on her doorstep and I don’t want to come in between them.”

“He had no problem coming in between your legs,” Alee snorts.

“Ugh, why do I bother,” I laugh for the first time in days and put my head in my hands.

“You’re really coming to Texas,” Stacey squeals.

I nod and give her a smile.

“You heifers are leaving me,” Reese frowns.

“Like you have time for us anyway, Tam wouldn’t be in this mess if you were there that night to save her from me,” Stacey chides.

“And why do we associate with you again,” Reese teases.

“Girl you stole the words from my mouth,” Alee laughs.

“I have no idea,” Stacey says and looks at her nails like she is bored, then looks at Reese and Alee, giving them a big smile. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“I’ll be back at least once a month to get my hair done.” I say pointedly to Alee then look at Reese. “We can hang out then unless you get Nico to move to Texas,” I wiggle my brows at Reese.

“Not happening, have you met the man? He is fierce about his family. So unless one of his siblings moves to Texas it’s not happening,” Reese chimes. She is right. From what I know Nico’s family has been through a lot and they have become inseparable, much like Nico and Reese. “Speaking of which he has been asking if you are ready to take on some new clients. So when you get yourself together know he has your back with a few clients and I will be spreading the word that my girl is handling business.”

And just like that I became a Texan.