Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel (12 page)

“Sanders—”

“No, Chris. No. I get you think you can’t tell me what happened. But I’m not backing off. I can’t.”

They stared at each other for a few minutes. Then Chris sighed and gave in. “Shit! How long you think you can give me?”

“Tonight. It takes everything I have in me not to walk in there right now, throw her over my shoulder, and make her listen to me.” Jason meant it. If Chris didn’t agree, that’s exactly what he would do.

Chris gave him a chin lift, agreeing, though Jason could tell that it wasn’t easy for him. “One more thing, Sanders. When you find out, it’s gonna be a blow. It’s gonna hurt like fuck and you’re gonna be furious with her for not telling you sooner. Promise me you won’t take it out on Lore. She’s dealt with everything the best way she could.”

Jason locked his jaw, then gave Chris a chin lift, giving him his word. He couldn’t imagine he would blame Loreley, no matter what happened.

“There a way you can get Murphy or Nathan here? It would help if they both corroborated your story.”

Jason nodded. That was a good idea. He had tried to call Murphy earlier today after what Loreley had said, but the call had gone to voice mail. “I’ll try. I’ll give them a call, see how soon they can get here.” Thinking they were done, he turned to leave to get on that shit when Chris spoke again, making him stop.

“And something else. Expect Cal to show up at the house.”

“What house?” Fuck. Cal, Loreley’s quasi brother. He didn’t know if he had it in him tonight to deal with another one of Loreley’s protectors, who thought he was a cheating asshole. Chris was a hard man when he needed to be, but Cal was a badass and would beat the shit out of him. No doubt.

“The house you’re renting. It’s Cal’s house.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Cal hooked up with a woman, got married last Christmas. They’re living in her house, renting out his. You’re the renter.”

Jason sighed and hung his head. There was no way Cal wouldn’t show up at his doorstep. “Fuck!”

“Yeah,” Chris agreed, his lips twitching. “I’ll give him a call, try to talk to him. He trusts me to take care of his sister, but I suspect he’s still gonna show up.”

“No doubt,” Jason muttered. “You still got the same number?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I’ll text you mine.” Chris jerked up his chin, then muttered, “Later,” and headed back into the bar. Jason stayed where he was, thinking.

He was furious.

Six years.

Six
fucking
years he and Loreley had lost because of him being a total jackass. They would be married by now, have children. Live a happy life somewhere at a beach, or even here in the Rocky Mountains, away from all the drama that was L.A. No matter where they would have settled, the point was that they would have settled by now and made a family or were about to.

Fuck!

He should have kept his shit together when Loreley told him about the internship instead of starting a fight that night. He should have gone after her right then and there instead of playing the gig. He should have tried harder to get to her before she left for L.A. He shouldn’t have let her shut him out.

If he had done any of those things, they would have never been apart. Neither of them would have been heartbroken, Loreley would not have fallen apart and almost killed herself.

“Fuck!” Jason exploded.

Six years of heartbreak and pain for both of them because of him and his wounded ego. That misunderstanding he could do nothing about now. It happened and he would show Loreley the proof that he wasn’t lying, that it really
had
been a misunderstanding. Murphy and Nathan would help him. They were his brothers. And they had reamed his ass more than once in the last few years whenever he was brooding or wrote another song about losing Loreley. So that was the easy part. But he also wanted to know what had happened to the messages and emails Chris said Loreley had left for him. Someone had to have gotten them. Jason doubted it would be easy to get to the bottom of that, but still, he would try. And if someone was responsible for it, that someone was going to pay.

Jason looked back at the bar’s back door as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Every cell in his body urged him to go inside and go to her. But he had given Chris his word that he would give him tonight. Then tomorrow, he would go to her and talk to her.

And then they would work it out, be together, and finally fucking be happy.

I was showered and in my pajamas as I came out of the bathroom, ready to fall into bed and go to sleep. It had been a long day. I heard Chris’ voice speaking low as I closed the bathroom door behind me. He was in the living room, what sounded like talking on his phone.

He hadn’t said much after he came back into the bar after the Brad incident other than telling me to take a load off and keep the ice on my wrist, after he’d inspected it with anger clear on his face. But there had been something else on his face, too, something I couldn’t quite pinpoint. He was deep in thought, as if contemplating something important, something he needed to figure out, but didn’t know how. And then there was shock and consternation on his face, confusion, as if he was dumbfounded, shell-shocked even. Mixed in with all that were sadness and melancholy and dread and worry. Normally, I would have asked him what was wrong, but the day as a whole had been rough and, honestly, I couldn’t take any more drama. I was too exhausted. And somehow I knew that it had something to do with why it had taken Chris so long to come back inside after Larry told me that Brad had left, that Chris had been talking to Jason. There weren’t any bruises on his face and his knuckles weren’t swollen from punching someone, all evidence that he hadn’t beat Jason up and vice versa. That was a relief. I had seen and touched enough blood for one night.

I was proven right about Chris being lost in thoughts and the general reason for it on our way home.

“I talked to Jason tonight,” Chris had said, his voice careful.

“Chris—” I tried to tell him that I didn’t want to talk anymore about Jason tonight.

“Hear me out, Lore,” he was almost begging me. I didn’t reply and went quiet as I waited for him to go on. I knew that once he had made up his mind about something, I wouldn’t be able to stop him from telling me what that was anyways. It was easier to just let him get it off his chest. And I was too tired to fight with him.

“I believe him.” My body locked and my tiredness disappeared instantly at his words.

“What?” I hissed, stunned and shocked.

“Don’t get upset. Just listen.” His voice was firmer now, and unyielding, telling me exactly what I had thought: that he would tell me what was on his mind, whether I wanted him to or not. Since we were in the car and the car was moving, I had no way to escape, so I heaved a big sigh and remained silent.

“I believe he didn’t cheat on you.”

“This is unbelievable,” I muttered under my breath as I shook my head with incredulity.

“It isn’t, Lore. I talked to him about it in length, explained everything to him—”

I whipped my head around. “You explained everything to him?” I almost screeched.

“No, Lore, not that. I meant about that morning after you fought, what you saw, what made you think he had cheated.” Chris swallowed. Then, “And I told him about how later you tried to get in touch with him, about how you saw him drunk and with another woman.” I hung my head. I hadn’t wanted Jason to know about that. Chris wasn’t done. “And I told him about how we almost lost you.”
That
was definitely something I hadn’t wanted Jason to know. It was none of his business.

“You did what?” I shouted at him. Chris flinched.

“I didn’t tell him why. I told him that was your secret to share—”

“I can’t believe you did that, Chris. Why? Why did you talk to him at all?” I interrupted him. I felt betrayed.

“I didn’t want to at first, was ready to beat the shit out of him when I saw him sitting at a table, watching you. But then he got in my face about the cheating, said he could have never hurt you like that, that you owned him, that no other woman existed for him and he would have never thrown that away, I couldn’t
not
talk to him. He was sincerely shocked and appalled by the whole idea.”

“You forget that I saw the skank he cheated on me with, Chris. Saw her standing on his doorstep in nothing but a towel, still wet from the shower she had taken with him.”

“He says he wasn’t with her. That Murphy was. That they crashed at his place that night while he stayed at the bar and got drunk.”

Pfft
. I almost laughed. “How convenient,” I said sarcastically.

Chris smiled a small smile. “I said the same thing. How very convenient to blame the guy who won’t remember who he fucked that night and will back him up simply because they’re like brothers and that’s what brothers do.”

I didn’t say anything, just harrumphed in agreement.

“He also said Nathan stayed with him until he went home. He told me to ask him.” I shook my head in annoyance. So what? Nathan would corroborate his story just like any other of his band members would. That didn’t prove anything. And anyways, cheating on me wasn’t the worst Jason had done.

“I’m done talking about this, Chris.” I said as I stared out the passenger side window.

“Lore—”

“No, Chris. I’ve listened and now I’m done. Please. I’m too tired to fight.”

We pulled into my driveway and I got out of the car and walked to the front door. I was half-way through the door when Chris said from behind me, “We need to talk about this, Lore. If he didn’t cheat on you then—”

“It doesn’t matter, Chris. I said I’m done talking about it.” I threw my purse on the couch and went straight to the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower and then go to bed.”

Chris sighed in frustration, but I ignored it. “Fine. I’ll leave you be for tonight.” That was all I heard before I closed the bathroom door behind me. I turned around and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked as exhausted as I felt, maybe even more so. I longed to take a nice hot bath and try to relax and get my thoughts organized, but I desperately needed this day to be over.

I heard Chris’ voice speaking low as I closed the bathroom door behind me.

“Yeah, man, she’s okay. Jason and Rick dealt with Brad. She’s in the shower.” Pause then, “Yeah, he did, showed up at the bar tonight. But listen, Cal, before you lose your shit on him we need to talk. He doesn’t—” Another pause while Chris listened to Cal on the other end. “No, Cal, don’t go up there before we talk. He didn’t cheat on her and he doesn’t know, man.”

Chris was getting agitated. I could hear him pace in the living room. I couldn’t listen to this. I couldn’t listen to Chris trying to justify Jason’s behaviour. He was supposed to be on my side, not defend the person who shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I turned around to go to my bedroom. I needed to sleep and not think about anything. I didn’t have the strength for anything else tonight. I could still hear Chris talking, but didn’t listen to it, didn’t let it penetrate.

“That’s not what I mean. I mean he doesn’t know about—” I closed the door firmly but quietly behind me, shutting out his words. I leaned against the door, where I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in an effort to clear my head. But there were too many thoughts fighting for attention in my head. Frustrated, I shoved them all aside and walked over to my bed, turned off the bedside lamp and crawled under the covers.

I woke up the next morning and felt strong arms holding me as well as a hot and hard body spooning me. Chris. I turned around slowly so as not to wake him and looked at him. He was breathing deeply and evenly, still fast asleep. I might be upset with him, might not understand him right now, but I was still glad that he had crawled into bed with me last night. I had needed that. Carefully, I lifted his arm and slid out from underneath it, then rolled to the edge of the bed and into a sitting position. When I got up, I looked over my shoulder to check once again. He hadn’t moved. I smiled to myself. Chris was a deep sleeper. Once he was out, he was out, and nothing short of a train running through the room would wake him. He needed three alarms set for different times, turned up to full volume, so he would wake up.

I went to the bathroom, did my business, brushed my teeth, and washed my face, then headed to the kitchen to get the coffee started, and then got ready for my morning run. I decided to run the big loop again today. I needed it to clear my head. I was worried that Chris was not going to give up and would try and make me talk to him about Jason when I came back. I had seen the determined look in his eyes last night. I knew that look. Chris was an understanding, supportive, and kind man, but when he was convinced of something and had made up his mind about you needing to agree with him, he could get pushy and bossy and not so gentle. Even though he had given me a reprieve last night, I knew that that reprieve was over, and I wasn’t looking forward to the argument I knew was going to happen, since I was not planning on backing down on this.