Chapter Twenty-One
One of the first things Luke did was to back up the data on Ben’s computer. “Let’s not risk losing this. Did Ben show you what he kept where?”
She shook her head. “A few things, that’s all. Maybe he planned to do more after he changed the will, but, well, you know.”
It was Luke’s turn to shake his head. “What was he thinking?”
Her temper flared, but before she lashed out he spoke again, answering his own question.
“Ben thought he had time yet to show you through his records. Did he tell you what to do first?”
“He told me to go to you.” How embarrassing. “For help,” she added.
Luke stared at the keyboard for a few moments before he spoke. “Let’s check his computer and desk drawers and see what Ben left us to work with.”
“Okay.” She gestured at the desk, inviting him to go through Ben’s records, but Luke was looking past her.
“What’s that?”
Juli followed his eyes to the far wall where Ben had hung the sketched portrait.
“Nothing much.”
“Did you draw it?”
“Yes. It was silly of him to frame it.”
“Well, he was that kind of guy. A nice man and a good friend.”
Juli wanted to declare Ben had hung it because he liked it and because it was special to him, not because he was a nice guy. She held back. She was emotional these days. Out of sight, below the level of the desk where Luke couldn’t see, she twisted her fingers. The feel of Ben’s rings upon her fingers reminded her to be patient. She shouldn’t be so quick to take offense.
It felt like the battle for Ben, for the protection of Ben, had morphed with his death into a new struggle. She first sensed it after the funeral with Adela. Who had loved him more? Whom had he loved most? Grief and loss drove people to do bizarre things. It had been easier when she had no one for whom she cared deeply.
Easier not to care, but that didn’t seem as sensible and desirable as it once had despite the hazards.
Luke had something on his mind, but he didn’t share it. Instead, he returned his attention to the notes he was making. He listed Ben’s accounts, banking and credit, recurring bills, etc. “You’ll have to change these accounts over to your name, close others. You have a checking account in your name already as part of the agreement, right?”
“Yes, and he added me to his other accounts, too. In case of an emergency, he said.”
Luke nodded. “If you like, I’ll go with you to the bank to help sort out these others.”
It would be easier to deal with the bank with Luke there as the executor. “Thanks.”
“Do you want me to contact the life insurance company for you?”
The green kept rolling in, undeserved by her, Ben’s temporary wife. “Adela was his heir before, right?”
“Yes, she was.”
“Ben talked about a niece and nephew.”
“You don’t need to concern yourself about them. It was Ben’s right, and his choice, to change his will and his beneficiaries. They aren’t in need.”
“He said the kids are in high school, I think?”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to split the life insurance policy between them. Maybe in a trust for college funds? Could you help me with that?”
“Think about it. It’s a lot of money. I’ll help you in any way I can, but be sure it’s what you want to do.”
Luke looked at his watch. “I have to go. Call me when you’re ready to go to the bank.”
Juli walked with him out of the study and into the kitchen. “We can take care of it whenever it suits your schedule.” Had he heard her? He seemed distracted, fingering his keys absentmindedly. When he stopped abruptly, she tensed. Something was coming.
“At the Hammonds’ party back in April, I saw you. I didn’t look through you. I was looking for Ben.”
“Oh.” Something small and deep within Juli held still, listening. Luke was stern, growing more so as he continued, yet he was looking at the door rather than at her.
“When I went to the coatroom, it wasn’t to check up on the staff. I wanted to know if Ben had gotten his coat because he might have gone outside, or even gone home. I happened to see Frankie, and then you, while I was there.”
“Okay.”
“Ben had claimed his coat, so I went outside and spoke with the valet.”
“Who told you Ben had left.” She could imagine what else the valet might have hinted at.
“With a woman, he said. He insinuated Ben was drunk and you were…were doing the driving and…well, I knew Ben wasn’t drunk. Not drinking at all, in fact, but I didn’t know about you.
Anything
about you.”
He was out the door in a flash. For a tall man with such presence, he moved quickly. Juli was left, feeling astonished.
Maia had been talking. Juli went to the study window and looked down at the parking area. Luke opened his car door and paused. He reached up and pressed one hand against his eyes. If he was going to shed a tear or two, he didn’t want her to see.
She put her hands to the window. If she could reach through and touch him, she would. Without hesitation, she would wrap her arms around him with abandon, victimizing them both and slashing her self-respect into humiliated pieces that could never be glued back into their former state.
And Luke would not thank her for the emotional revelation or her sacrifice.
Fate was heartless. Always.
Chapter Twenty-Two
He was trapped, caught between Ben, Adela and Juli. They demanded time and energy he couldn’t spare. He had his own grief. Had businesses to run. Responsibilities.
Ever since Ben first told him the news, he’d been grieving. Every time he decided what should be done, something happened to shake it all up.
Ben’s marriage. Juli as the heir. Adela irate.
He was running an emotional obstacle course.
After the funeral, he’d taken Adela to the airport himself and stood by the exit ropes to ensure she didn’t come back. For the time being, she’d been dealt with. Sort of like the Dutch boy putting a finger in the dyke to staunch the flood.
Woefully inadequate.
And Ben.
Ben was gone. He’d do his best to abide by Ben’s wishes, including helping Juli. Luke understood why Ben wanted him to be friends with Juli. It was hard, though, to look at her without reliving the pain of Ben’s loss.
It wasn’t her fault, but... he didn’t need to remind himself she was his cousin’s widow. Or that she was ten years younger. Or that she had married Ben for his money.
She’d fulfilled the contract. She’d made Ben happy.
The trip back to Beaufort was a blur.
“Maia?” He entered the gallery by the back door.
“I’m here.”
He went directly to his office and flipped open the blinds. He wanted the sunlight.
“We have the Roundtree showing scheduled for next month.”
He said it as if pronouncing doom. Maia clasped her hands together.
“Yes. Are you re-considering?”
He knew she was afraid he’d say
cancel
, and while he wished there were more hours in the day and that grief hadn’t entered their lives, the fact remained bills had to be paid, plus he had obligations to employees and clients.
Responsibilities.
He stayed at the window, staring outside at the narrow passageway and the painted brick wall of the store next door. Not a lot of sunlight, but better than no window at all.
“Luke.” Maia’s voice was almost a whisper. “We don’t have to take care of it now. I know what to do and the contract is already signed.”
“Then maybe I should make a run down to Charleston.”
He could almost hear her worrying over him the way she’d fretted over Ben. He could’ve reassured her that he was fine, but he didn’t. He wasn’t fine. The only acceptable antidote was action.
But first he had to see Juli again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I appreciate your help.”
“No problem.” Luke drove up to the street and checked for traffic before pulling out of the driveway.
“I hope it’s not too inconvenient.” Juli could see he didn’t want to discuss it, or anything, with her. “I could go by myself.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, then rested a hand on the armrest. Her fingers wanted to tap. She kept them still.
He touched his forehead. Did he have a headache? He could do better than speak two words and nothing more. If he would actually talk to her instead of making her prod and poke, she wouldn’t have to drive him crazy by pestering him.
“I know you’re busy,” she said.
He kept his attention on the road as they rode down Atlantic Avenue. He said, “I told you I’m willing to help. Not to mention that as Ben’s executor, I have to help.”
Have to help. Well, if he was doing this because he was required to, then she’d let him get on with it and be done.
“I could’ve met you at the bank and saved you some time. It’s not too late. You can take me back to the house. I’ll drive over myself.” Juli stared out of the window because she couldn’t fake a smile today.
The turn signal clicked-clicked-clicked as Luke slowed and pulled off to the side of the road.
“What are you doing?”
Silence, except for the sound of the idling engine.
“What do you want, Juli? To drive yourself? Are you uncomfortable in the car with me?” He hit the steering wheel, but lightly. “If I’ve offended you, I’m sorry. I’m trying to be helpful.”
“Offended?” She stared at the side of his face since he persisted in looking forward. “No. I didn’t want to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do—whether for Ben’s sake or mine. I know you’d rather be anywhere but here with me. You didn’t ask for this, it’s been forced on you. It wasn’t part of what you expected to do as Ben’s executor.”
“No, it isn’t.” He rubbed his forehead again, then shook his head. “But in a lot of ways it’s easier for me now because I don’t have to worry about selling the house and countless other tasks because the estate stays with you. If you want to handle it all yourself, say the word. I’ll take you back home.”
He was right. This was easier on him and he could walk away. He could say, you’ve got it now, it’s your problem. Then what would she do?
“I’d like your help.”
“So, what’s wrong?”
Out of nowhere, it felt as though her eyes would explode with tears. She covered her face and breathed deeply—in, out, and over again.
“Are you alright?”
She nodded, took another deep breath and withdrew her hands. “It feels final. I didn’t expect it to feel that way.”
“Final.”
“I know it’s stupid. I thought I was ready.”
“Do you want to wait for another day?”
She shook her head. “No, it won’t be any better.” His eyes were red, too. “Somewhere Ben is looking at us and laughing at my foolishness.” Some of the flood leaked out of the corner of her eyes. She brushed the wet away and forced a smile.
He didn’t smile back, but he looked a little less intense as he signaled and pulled back onto the road.
It was simple at the bank. Shortly before he died, Ben had asked her to sign signature cards in case he needed money in a hurry and was unable to take care of it himself. She’d done it and it hadn’t seemed remarkable to her that he trusted her. Had he already been planning to make her his heir? Today, the only changes needed were to remove Ben’s name. His death certificate was all they needed.
It shouldn’t be this easy to tidy up the loose ends of a life.
A concept, a responsibility, mushroomed in her head, momentarily blocking out everything else. The loose ends were tidied, but not erased. They were transferred to her.
The essence of Ben’s life was transferred to Juli.
An inadequate vessel.
There’d been a day when she could’ve taken the money promised to her and run—but for having known Ben. She couldn’t disregard the fact of his existence.
Admit it, Juli. His impact, his legacy, is about more than money.
It’s about my whole life.
Now, he was gone, but the ties weren’t more easily cut. In fact, they were impossible for her heart and conscience to sever.
“Would you like to go to lunch?”
An unexpected invitation. She looked at Luke. She didn’t want to go straight home. Going to the bank had almost been part of the ritual of passing. Something law demanded. It was a milestone that should be acknowledged.
“I’m sorry, Luke. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My head is all jumbled. Yes, I’d like to go to lunch.”
“Any preference?”
“None. Anything is good.”
He pulled into a shopping center parking lot. “How about Rucker John’s?”
“Fine. Ben and I ate there once.” She wished she hadn’t said that.
“Would you rather…?”
“No. This is great.”
The hostess seated them and the waitress gave them menus. “What would you like to drink?”
“Water,” Luke said. Juli nodded agreement.
They were still examining the menus when she returned with the glasses of ice water. “Do you need another minute before ordering?”
“Yes, please.”
Juli reviewed the menu, then placed it on the table. Luke was staring across the room.
“You look like you have something on your mind,” she said.
“I do, but it’s none of my business.”
She shrugged. “Go ahead and say what you’re thinking.”
“I’ve never understood something.”
“What?”
He shook out the folded napkin. “I know why he asked, but why did you agree to marry him?”
“Is this genetic or just a family tradition?”
“What?”
She fidgeted with the silverware, tapping the handle of the knife on the table. “This need to interrogate over food.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
She released the knife and clasped her hands to keep them still. “No, wait. I’m the one who’s sorry. Interrogate is a harsh word, but it’s a joke—was a joke—between Ben and me. I don’t mind. Really.” She ran her fingers down the moisture film on the outside of her glass. “I mean that. You know I’m blunt. If I don’t want to answer, I won’t. If you ask something you shouldn’t, I’ll tell you.”
He sat up straighter. “I’m listening.”
“Why I married Ben….” Deep breath. “It was his eyes.” She looked at the nearby fireplace, its embers cold. “It was what I saw in his eyes. Honesty. Openness. No, not really openness. Vulnerability, but with courage. The willingness to risk being hurt or ridiculed.”
She straightened the napkin in her lap, almost wishing Luke would interrupt, would pick up the thread of this conversation and take it elsewhere.
“I saw someone who, for reasons that made no sense, wanted me. Wanted my companionship. Wanted me on any terms he could get me. Me. Juli. I looked in his eyes and trusted him.”
“Excuse me.” Luke pushed his chair back and walked off toward the restrooms.
The first stab of shock at his abrupt departure passed quickly. No call of nature was that compelling. He’d asked for it, right? What had he expected her to say? That she’d married Ben for the money?
The waitress returned to take their orders. She looked at the empty chair. “Should I come back?”
Juli nodded. “Yes, thanks.”
Luke returned within minutes. “Sorry for the interruption.” He sat and placed his napkin back in his lap.
“I wanted to say one more thing. There was also the money.”
He choked on his water. He coughed and she rose, thinking she needed to pat him on the back, but he motioned to her to sit.
“I’m okay, really.” He laughed and coughed again. “I commend your honesty.”
“And practicality.”
“That too,” he agreed.
“And luck. I never had luck, not a bit of it, not until I met Ben.”
Silence stretched between them. Juli placed her hands flat on the table and stood. “I’ll be right back.”
Luke reached out and took her wrist as she walked past.
“Ben was lucky, too.”
The ladies’ room wasn’t empty, but no one was at the sinks. She took a paper towel, dampened it and held it to her eyes. So much for her eye makeup. She didn’t wear a lot anyway, so he’d probably never notice the difference.
A woman came out of a stall and stopped to wash her hands. Juli tossed the towel into the trash and returned to the table.
Luke said, “The waitress came, but I didn’t know what you wanted to order. She’ll come back.”
Poor waitress.
All because of our drama.
Well, she probably had drama of her own she inflicted on others. She did return and Juli placed her order.
She folded her hands in her lap and tried to adopt a better attitude. “How are you doing, Luke?”
“Me?”
“I know you’re busy. You have the galleries. Maia told me you’re managing several in different cities and some other business interests, as well.”
“Two galleries. I sold the one in Virginia Beach. Traveling to and from Charleston is enough.”
“Can’t you hire someone to do some of the work for you?”
“I can, but first I have to find that person.”
“Is it so hard?”
Or do you not want to replace Ben?
That’s what Maia had told her. “It’s no good giving up your life to work. I know what I’m talking about, although, don’t misunderstand me, I’m not comparing the jobs I worked with the work you do.”
He nodded, but didn’t speak.
“It’s summer. You have a boat. What would you be doing if you had time off?”
She stopped talking while the food was delivered. When the server left, he still hadn’t answered.
“Maybe that’s none of my business.” She said it deliberately, knowing he’d protest.
“It’s not a secret. Boat, yes. Take a trip for pleasure, not work. Jog. Swim. Read a book.”
She leaned forward. “Then do it. Hire someone and take a break.”
“It sounds easier than it is.”
“What’s the hard part?”
Luke concentrated on chewing his food and drinking his water. Juli gave him peace for a few minutes.
It wasn’t until they stood to leave that he said, “I’m leaving for Charleston this evening. I’ll be down there for a few days. Maybe I’ll put the word out about the job. There are a couple of people I might consider.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
They drove to the
Glory
in companionable silence. They were almost back when Luke asked, “What about your plans?”
“Plans, me? I’m staying here for the time being.”
“Is that enough for you? You don’t seem like someone who’d be content to sit around doing nothing.”
“I’m taking art lessons and doing some painting. I’m in no hurry. For now, I’m content.” She opened the door and the hot air rushed in. “Thank you, Luke. We accomplished a lot today.”
She shut the door before he could answer. She was feeling teary again.
Who would have imagined a courteous conversation could be so encouraging? Over time, her feelings would settle down and maybe they could be friends, after all.
As for work, she liked being a lady of leisure. Sitting around for a while—not doing
nothing
, but doing only what she wanted—was a wonderful gift and she intended to enjoy it.