Beautiful Illusions (20 page)

I found myself feeling nervous for some reason.

She was smiling. She had already ordered me a drink. A dirty Keitel One martini. “Ryan told me how much you love these drinks, so I took the liberty to order you one. I hope that you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” I sat down, then downed the drink. I was going to need this drink.

Her blue eyes got wide. “Look at you! You go, girl!” She gestured to the waitress. The waitress was right there. “She needs another drink.”

Like the first date with Ryan, I started to relax. The place was filled with people, talking, laughing. There were large parties who were getting boisterous, celebrating this event or that
. It felt like a festive atmosphere. Plus, there wasn’t any pressure, really. It was a woman I was meeting, not a potential mate, so I felt a bit more relaxed. I found myself getting in a good mood, in spite of myself.

I had another drink. I was
now feeling a lot more relaxed. “So, girl, what’s up?” I slurred.

She was smiling still. “I wanted to apologize about that last night we saw each other.”

“Yes, you said that over the phone. What’s really up?”

“Well, as I said, Ryan asked me to call you and talk to you in person.”

“I don’t understand. You guys aren’t getting along.” I didn’t tell her that I knew about the blackmail. Somehow, I wasn’t quite that drunk to accuse her like that. I also knew that if I brought that up, our conversation wouldn’t go as well.

“Iris. Ryan and I have known each other since we were kids. I met him when we were both 13.”

I didn’t know that. I mean, he told me that they dated on and off, and did drugs together. I didn’t know that they went back that far. Then I suddenly remembered that Ryan had once told me that he met Alexis in middle school.

She went on. “We might not always get along, but we always get each other.”

“So, you guys have been talking?”

She looked embarrassed. “Well, yes. My meds…Ryan told you about my illness, right?”

I nodded.

“Anyhow. My meds were not quite right, so I spent a couple of months manic
. I was off my rocker, unfortunately. And, I was doing way too many lines. Which, of course, made it that much worse.”

I looked at her silently.

She continued. “It all came to a head. I was wired and out of my mind. I humiliated Ryan and probably scared you to death. And I’m sorry.”

She seemed completely sincere. “Apology accepted,” I said, putting my hand on hers briefly, and touching her forearm.

Alexis continued. “I also said some things about you. That was really not called for.”

“Oh, you didn’t say that much about me.”

“I called you a toad. You aren’t a toad.”

I felt a bit embarrassed. “Thanks for saying that.”

We both got another drink. She continued. “Apologizing to you isn’t the only reason why I’m here.”

I nodded. Of course, there was something else
.

Go on
.

“As I said, Ryan asked me to call you and meet you. I owe him this much.”

“I don’t understand.”

She sighed. “I’ve treated him really shitty
. He doesn’t deserve that. He’s never been anything but kind to me.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve the way that I’ve treated him,” she repeated. “So, when he asked me to do this, I agreed.”

“But what does he want you to tell me?”

“He wanted me to explain things to you. He doesn’t have the words to tell you everything.”

Everything? There’s more?

Of course there’s more. There’s something going on with the dad. Is Alexis going to finally tell me about that?

“What more is there to say? He has a male lover. It doesn’t get much worse than that.”

“I want you to understand why Nick is so important to him.”

“I know about that. Nick saved him.”

“Yes. But you don’t know the whole story.”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“I knew his father,” she began, after hesitating for what seemed like a lifetime. “I met Ryan soon after his father divorced his mother. His father was…” She trailed off, visibly shaking. She gestured for the waitress, who was there in a few seconds. She ordered another drink for us both.

Was what? 

She began again. “His father was very sick. Very sick. Ryan….well, his mother protected him when he was younger. Then, when they got divorced, there was nobody to protect him. Ryan was on his own, because his sister went with the mother when Benjamin and Maggie got divorced.”

He has a sister?

She continued on. “His father did terrible things to him. When his father was with his mother, he physically abused him. He used to beat him with a belt for the tiniest things. If Ryan didn’t wake up right at 7 AM, there would be hell to pay. If Ryan did not come to dinner at precisely 6 PM, there would hell to pay. Benjamin sometimes would just yell at him, but, sometimes, he did much worse.” She shook her head, angrily. “Benjamin was a sick, twisted, sadistic son of a bitch.”

I braced myself. There was more.

“His mother didn’t agree with what Benjamin was doing, of course. His mother was a very kind woman. She was in over her head, though. She didn’t quite know how to protect Ryan and Sarah. Sarah was four years older, and she was terrified of Benjamin. Maggie was terrified of Benjamin as well. Everybody was afraid of him.”

I started to feel nauseated.

She continued. “Maggie and Benjamin divorced when Ryan was 10. I’m sure that he told you about that.”

“Yes, yes he did.”

“Well, Ryan found this out later, when he was an adult, but Benjamin threatened Maggie when she left the family. Benjamin told her that he would have Sarah kidnapped and killed if Maggie had contact with Ryan. Benjamin said that he would make it look like the person who kidnapped and killed her had it out for him because of his wealth. Maggie believed him, so she completely cut off contact with Ryan.”

Now I was shocked. I expected that Benjamin would be a bastard, but was not prepared for how much of a bastard he really was.
I mean, who does that?

“Meanwhile, Benjamin told Ryan that Maggie didn’t love him, and that she left because of him. Ryan was only 10
. He didn’t know better. He believed what Benjamin told him about his own mother.”

The waitress was back with our drinks
.

“This next part is something that Ryan repressed for years. It has just now been coming up in therapy.”

I found myself still questioning her sincerity. Why would Ryan tell her all of this? What if she was lying about everything?

She continued. “Benjamin…well, Benjamin was lonely after Maggie left.” She shook her head. “Ah, fuck it. Benjamin was a sick pervert
. He used to ask Ryan to invite young girls over to the house, and Ryan would do that. He would invite some girls that he knew in school. Then, Benjamin would molest them, would rape them. He got away with it because he was rich. The kids would tell, the mothers would get a new car, or whatever, and that was that.”

I wanted to wretch. Now I was also visibly shaking. I felt hot tears welling up
.

Alexis shook her head, tears in her eyes. “Benjamin continued to physically abuse Ryan. Scalded him with hot water,
burned him with lit cigars, beat him, verbally abused him. Always told him he was a worthless piece of shit, always told him how much he hated him. What Benjamin did to Ryan was bad enough. However, Benjamin did even worse things.”

Worse? How could it be worse?

She went on. “Benjamin would have sex parties at his house. I know that you’ve never seen his house.”

I shook my head. “No, I’ve never seen his house.”

“Benjamin’s house makes Ryan’s house look like a fucking guest house. Benjamin’s house is one of those 30 bedroom jobs, which sits on 10 acres of land. A very private place to live. So, when he had his guests over for these sex parties, there were never any neighbors to complain. Also, there were never any neighbors to hear Ryan scream.”

I involuntarily put my hand to my mouth, then halfway covered my eyes in distress. Just the thought of my beautiful Ryan going through that made me want to find the man who made him suffer and make him suffer worse than anything he put Ryan through.

Burning that man at the stake would be too merciful.

She went on
. “Well, Ryan started growing into his looks about the age of 13. That was when I met him. He was going through puberty, becoming a man. He was always a cute kid from the pictures I saw, but he really started becoming a handsome young man when he hit 13.”

I drew a breath
. Somehow, I knew that what was to be revealed next would be even more horrible than was she told me before.

“Ryan was forced to attend these parties. His father promised Ryan that he would leave him alone if Ryan would entertain his guests
. He saw that Ryan was becoming handsome, and he, uh, wanted to entertain his lady clients, so to speak.”

Now I wanted to seriously hurl. I thought about excusing myself to go to the bathroom to decompress, but wanted to hear the rest of the story. Yet really didn't want to hear it, because I was becoming more and more depressed by the second.

She went on. “Mind you, these were the upper crust of society. Doctors, bankers, lawyers, businessmen, CEOs. These were the kinds of people who would attend these parties. These were not the low-lifes on the street. These were the most respected people in the city. Plus, these people came from all over the country to attend these parties. They would come from Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Dallas, DC, Seattle, Pittsburgh – from everywhere around the country. They would fly in to attend these parties. And Ryan was made the guest of honor.”

She rolled her eyes. “It makes sense, if you think about it. The men at these parties were middle-aged, paunchy, losing their hair
. The women were the same way. Everybody was horny. Granted, the goal of these parties was for everybody to hook up with somebody, and all of Benjamin’s bedrooms would be full of people during these parties. They would be doing threesomes with one another, while somebody else watched. Some of the rooms were reserved for bondage and discipline practices, and Benjamin would outfit these rooms with whips, chains, body bags, nipple clamps, leather suits, handcuffs, sex swings, you name it. Those were the hard-core rooms. Other rooms were more romantic, with fireplaces, wine and sunken tubs, where couples could just swap for the night. There were four-ways, and straight men blowing other straight men while their wives watched. Sometimes the wives would get gang-banged by four or more men while their husbands would watch.”

I was just staring, shocked. Is this how the upper class lives
?
She continued – “And here Benjamin had this beautiful young man living with him. It was like a prize for everybody. Benjamin would force Ryan to attend these parties, and he would force Ryan to do things with the people at these parties against Ryan’s will. And it didn’t matter who was doing the requesting – men, women, married, single, gay, straight. Whoever it was who was asking to have a turn with Ryan, his father obliged. And Ryan was too scared to say no.”

I started to feel that I was living in a dream. This story could not have happened. My Ryan could not have suffered like this.

She went on. “There was one lady in particular who attended these parties. She pretended not to be interested in Ryan. She was the only one, mind you. Everybody was into Ryan – every man and every woman there wanted to be with him. But she held back. She went to Ryan one night, and asked him if he would like to come home with her. Of course, Ryan said yes. He would’ve done anything to get out of there.” She shook her head “He was only 14 at this time. He’d been attending these parties, on a regular basis, for over a year, at the time that she came to him to ask him to come home with her.”

I stared at my hand, still gripping th
e latest martini. It was shaking uncontrollably. I put my thumb to my mouth and bit the nail hard.

She looked at me. “Well, you can imagine what happened. Benjamin willingly let Ryan go and stay with her, for as long as Ryan liked.” She looked devastated
. “Ryan thought that he was out of the hell hole. That he had finally found somebody who would take care of him, and not let bad things happen to him.” She shook her head. “This woman was 34, 20 years older than Ryan. And, of course, she sexually abused him, every night. She probably thought that she’d died and gone to heaven, having his beautiful young man living with her, having sex with her every night.”

I was perplexed. “Why would Ryan have sex with her?”

“Well, as he told me, it was better than having to go back to his father’s house and be forced to attend the sex parties. So, he obliged her. He just didn’t want to return to Benjamin’s house.”

“I don’t understand. Why’d Benjamin let Ryan go to this woman’s house?”

“This woman had a major account with Benjamin’s company. A major account. If she pulled her account, it would have meant a loss of millions to Benjamin’s company. So, he just let her have Ryan, so he could keep her happy.”