Best Friends Forever (30 page)

Two

After we parted ways for the night and my dick was no longer in control of the thinking part of my brain, I actually wondered if she was just using me. In my dorm room, I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what happened and then Roman walked in.

“Sup?” he asked, not even looking at me.

“You see it,” I say, wishing I could ask him about Cheyanne. But we decided long before I started dating her that we wouldn’t talk about her.

He sits on his bed and then stares at me.

“What?” I ask, giving him a raised eyebrow.

“You guys finally did it, huh?” he asks, though I get the feeling he already knows.

“Uhh…”

“She didn’t tell me, man – that would be weird. Miranda told me,” he admits.

“I didn’t realize the two of them were close,” I say, and it’s true. Though Cheyanne has never said anything bad about Miranda, it’s not like she sings the blonde’s praises, either.

“Neither did I. but I guess they’re close enough to have talked about it. Good for you for losing your V-card,” he says with a smirk.

“Shut up.”

“No, man, really. Cheyanne isn’t the type to sleep around. Hell, before you, I think I was the last guy she slept with,” he says.

“Are you telling me I should get tested?”

He laughs. “Good one. No, I’m saying she must really like you if she waited this long and then fucked you. You should feel honored.”

The problem is, I know for a fact that Rome wasn’t the last guy Cheyanne had sex with before me. It was Roman’s older brother, Reece who holds that claim, as well as the likeliness that Reece is Deacon’s father, not Roman. Not that I’m going to tell him that.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I agree, just to be polite.

“Well? How was it?” he asks.

I glare at him until he breaks into laughter, at which point I toss a pillow at him. “Dumbass.”

“Oh, come one. For a guy who just got laid for the first time, you should be jumping for joy, but I come in and you’re all broody, staring at the ceiling. What’s wrong?”

Roman and I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye, but he’s never actually done anything rotten to me, so I wonder if I’m crazy to think about trusting him with my concerns. Of course, he won’t get the full picture, since he doesn’t know anything about Reece.

“It was just sudden, I guess. She was pushing me away for weeks and then she changed her mind in a blink. It was weird,” I confess.

“She went home last weekend,” Roman says.

“So?”

“She spent time with Deacon and maybe she felt alone,” he explains.

“That helps my ego, thanks,” I mutter.

“I’m sorry dude. But I’m just telling you what I know,” he apologizes.

“I know. Did she go see Reece?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“Why would she go see Reece? And how the hell do you know about my brother?” he asks, his voice louder.

“I don’t know. It was just a thought. She told me about what happened to Reece,” I explain.

“Don’t talk about my brother,” he instructs me. “No one here knows about him but me and Cheyanne and I’d like to keep it that way. Reece is the one guy I thought I could trust in this world and he went and left me.”

He’s upset, but I know I have to push this further to get a better picture. “What do you mean? It’s not like he chose what happened to him.”

“He did. My family kept it quiet, but he stepped in front of that damn car. He was trying to kill himself,” he says, his voice significantly lower.

“Shit, man, I’m sorry,” I say, feeling lower than low.

“It’s fine. Not even Chey knows the truth about what he did.”

That explains a lot. Perhaps Reece was feeling guilty for having slept with his kid brother’s girl and wanted to end it. Talk about a soap opera.

“I’ll keep quiet, Rome,” I promise him, knowing I’ll never tell Cheyanne about this. She can’t know. She’s already harboring guilt about coming between brothers and then lying about Deacon’s conception, she doesn’t need any more added to her plate.

No matter how inconsistent her behavior is, I can’t hurt her any more than she’s already been hurt. It wasn’t her fault she was in love with Roman’s older brother. She didn’t have to sleep with him and have his baby, of course, but things happen, I guess.

“Just keep your mouth shut when it comes to Reece, okay? If he ever wakes up, I don’t want the whole world to know what he did,” he says.

“Of course. I won’t mention him again.” I wonder if he’s ever even going to wake up, but true to my word, I keep my mouth shut.

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” I say with a friendly smile.

“So why’d you lie about being gay?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Because I didn’t want people to know I was a virgin,” I explain. Ugh.

“Makes sense, I guess. I’ve got to get to practice. I’ll talk to later, okay?” he says, grabbing his duffel from underneath his bed and then heading out. I wave goodbye and then lay my head down on my bed, wondering what the hell I’m going to do.

I know I need to talk to Cheyanne, but I’m afraid calling her out on her erratic behavior will only push her away. Or worse. I care about her. Hell, I might even love her. But it’s not like I can say that to her – she’s too fragile, still too damaged from Reece’s accident to even care if someone loves her.

The fact that she slept with me after being celibate for so long gives me hope, but not much. She’s confused, I bet, and unsure if she actually should have slept with me or not. I don’t want to push her now, don’t want her to have to choose between me and the guy she used to know. I honestly just want her to be happy.

I decide to go talk to her, to figure out what’s going on. I’ll be careful but honest with her and express my concerns.

With a feeling of determination in my stomach, I get off my bed and walk out of my room, ready to go talk to her.

Three

I make it three steps from my dorm before I run into Hazel. A Hazel I’ve never seen before. Gone is the confident girl with emo make-up and an attitude. In her stead is a pale face with mascara-streaked cheeks and tears in her eyes. I’ve never seen her so broken.

“Hazel? What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Leave me alone,” she mutters and tries to push past me.

“Hell, no,” I say, grabbing her arm. I remember the girl who kissed me the first week of school, the girl who always wanted to be the center of attention and was kind of evil. “What’s wrong?”

She whirls around to face me. “Don’t pretend like you care, Audric. Your little girlfriend and her band of misfit toys ruined my life!”

So vague… “Talk to me,” I insist.

“Cheyanne, Destiny, and Lexi set out to destroy my relationship with Nolan, and they succeeded. He and I are no longer together. I’ve never felt the way I felt about him for anyone else in my life. So my very first true love and they crushed it!”

“Didn’t you kind of ruin Nolan and Destiny’s relationship that way?” I counter, my hand gripping her arm.

“Oh, of course you throw that at me. It was never my intention to ruin anything. But I fell in love with Nolan and he fell in love with me. You can’t help who you love, Audric,” she chastises me.

Tell me about it. “I know it was mean what they did, but seriously, Des was in love with Nolan, too.”

“But he never loved her. He never wanted her for more than a good lay,” she protests.

“How do you know he wasn’t doing the same thing with you? I mean, you caught him with your sister.”

“Step-sister.”

“Whatever. Would he do something like that if he was really in love with you? He’s a player.” I look into her eyes, willing her to see the truth.

She takes a deep breath and then glares at me. “What do you know? You’re a virgin!” It’s a slap to my ego that she knows, but at least I can counter her statement.

“Not anymore, I’m not,” I say.

She whips her head back as if I slapped her. “You fucked Cheyanne? And you think I’m clinging to someone who can never love me…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, wondering what she knows. The girl seems to have dirt on everyone.

“Oh, please, like you even have to ask. That girl will never love anyone but Reece.”

“How do you know about Reece?”

“Did she tell you about him? Did she tell you she fucked him while she was with Roman and that Deacon is Reece’s son, not Roman? Did she tell you Reece tried to kill himself to escape her and now he’s in the hospital, in a coma?!?” Her vicious words cut my heart, but not for the reason she thinks they will.

“How do you know about Reece?” I ask again, my voice hard.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she sneers, a smirk widening her mouth. She turns to walk away but my hand tightens on her arm.

“Tell me, dammit.”

Her eyes widen and for the first time, she seems to realize how pissed I am and how precarious her position is.

“I can’t.”

“Tell me now, Hazel,” I say again, and there’s a threat in my voice. I’d never hurt her, but she can’t fuck with my life like this. I won’t let her ruin my chances with Cheyanne.

“If I could, I would, Audric, but you’ll have to ask Cheyanne who she’s telling all her secrets to, because I’m not about to blab,” she says, and for possibly the first time since I’ve met Hazel, I believe her.

She has no reason to lie, and the fear in her eyes is proof enough that she won’t go spouting off rumors about Cheyanne anymore. So I let her go. I doubt I’ll regret it, because if rumors suddenly pop up, I’ll know exactly who started them.

I watch her walk away, and just as she’s about to turn the corner, she turns back to me. “Secrets have a way of coming out, Audric. Even yours,” she says, and then she’s gone.

I want to go after her, try to figure out what the hell she’s talking about, but part of me wonders if it’s even worth the effort. Hazel is a liar by trade, which means she’ll tell me anything in order to get out of a jam.

I’ll deal with her when the time comes, but for now, I need to focus on Cheyanne and figure out what the hell is going on with my girlfriend.

Four

When I get to Cheyanne’s room, neither she nor Lexi answers, but there’s a note on their door that explains they are in the midst of moving out, so they’ll be back and forth all day. What? She never even told me she was moving. And just where is she moving to? I feel so out of the loop. I hate that she didn’t tell me, didn’t trust me enough to be honest with me. Instead of sulking, I decide to get to the bottom of it, so I pull out my cell and dial her number.

“Hi, you’ve reached Cheyanne. I’m not available at the moment, so leave a message and I’ll give you a call back when I can.”

I swear into the phone and then hang up. This is getting out of hand. I can’t keep hoping she’s going to remain my girlfriend, and she’s not going to stay my girlfriend if she keeps hiding things from me. I knew the girls were considering an apartment, but for her to not even tell me when, or where… I’m pissed. She can’t keep acting this way.

Sure, I think I love her, but I can’t love a ghost. She’s never around, and with this move, I know she’ll be on campus even less. It’s not fair to me.

“Audric?”

Down the hall, Cheyanne, Lexi, and Destiny are stopped, all three staring at me. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” Cheyanne asks.

“I came by to talk to you and found this,” I say, handing her the note.

She walks forward to take the paper. “Yeah, I was going to call you…”

“You didn’t call me. In fact, I called you and it went to voicemail. Are you ignoring me?” I hate how needy I sound, but I’m beyond caring. We are going to hash this out right here.

“Can we talk about this later? I’ve got stuff to move,” she says, brushing me off.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Are you seriously accusing me of something?”

“Yeah, I am. We had sex the other day and now you’re acting like you’re sick of me. I’m not a kid, Cheyanne. If you don’t want to be with me, just say so. It’s not so hard,” I tell her. I didn’t mean for any of those words to come out, but now that they were, I didn’t want to take them back. She needs to know how I feel.

“If that’s how you feel, Audric, then fine. It’s over,” she says, pushing past me to unlock her door.

I step back, letting the three of them go into her room. The door closes softly and I continue to stand there, in shock. I have no idea what just happened.

With a shake of my head, I walk down the hall, away from the dorm room, away from Cheyanne. I can’t even believe that just happened. I’m not sure I understand exactly what I did wrong. If anything, she’s the one with something to be sorry for. She blew me off and made me feel like an ass. What is her problem?

I lost my virginity and my girlfriend is less than forty-eight hours… How is such a thing even possible? I think maybe she’s just going through a phase and she’ll come back to me, but part of me wonders if it was her plan to take my virginity and then leave me all along. I never thought she was that type of girl, but hell, what do I know?

“Audric!!” I hear from behind me.

I turn toward the voice, hoping it’s Cheyanne, but it’s Miranda and she’s running toward me at full speed.

“Whoa! Easy, Miranda. What’s wrong?” I ask, holding my hands out as she runs into them.

She and I haven’t been super close over the school year, but I don’t have any issues with her. She seems to be making a better man out of Roman, which is always appreciated.

“It’s Hazel!” she says in a high-pitched voice.

“I just saw her a few minutes ago. What’s going on?”

“She’s dead!”

I freeze, unsure of what I just heard.

“Did you hear me? She’s gone!”

“I just talked to her, Miranda. You’ve got her mixed up with someone else,” I tell her, thinking she must have it wrong. Hazel can’t be dead.

“She killed herself, Audric. She slit her wrists and Roman found her in the alley where she and Nolan used to hook up,” she explains. “He was too late and by the time the ambulance got there, she was gone.”

She’s crying, mourning the girl who made everyone’s life a living hell. Granted, Hazel wasn’t the best person on the planet, but that certainly didn’t mean she deserved to die.

“Where’s Rome?” I ask, worried about my friend. We aren’t all that close, but he opened up to me this morning and I know he needs someone there for him now.

“He’s at the hospital with her. He knew she was dead, though and called me after he called nine-one-one. He told me what happened and said I needed to tell you, that you were the one person who would handle it the right way.”

Handle it the right way? What does that even mean? I don’t have any answers, but I know Cheyanne and her “little band of misfit toys” deserve to know, since it’s most likely because of them that Hazel did this. I can’t even imagine what was going through her head, and I doubt anyone will ever know, but I feel like an ass for threatening her now. She was dealing with a bunch of shit and didn’t deserve me treating her like a second-class citizen.

Guilt fills me. I feel like an idiot, as if I’m responsible for Hazel’s death. I know it’s not the truth, but I can’t help the way I feel. I just want to flash back into time and stop her. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a dick this morning, she wouldn’t have felt she needed to die.

“What are we going to do? It’s all my fault!” Miranda whispers.

“Your fault?” I ask, uncertain why she would think such a thing. Miranda is the nicest person I know.

“I took Roman from her. I made her turn all pyscho,” she says with big fat, crocodile tears falling on her cheeks.

“It’s not your fault, Miranda. She fell in love with Nolan. If it hadn’t been for you, she might not have realized her feelings for him. You gave her love,” I say, wondering if Nolan knows about what’s happened.

“Does Nolan know?” I ask.

“No… No one knows but you and me and Rome. He told me not to tell anyone but you. He said you were the best advocate for all sides of our dysfunctional group.”

Well, I can’t argue with that. We are the most dysfunctional group I’ve ever met, and I have no idea how I’ll ever explain this to anyone else, but I guess there’s no time like the present. I’m dreading telling him, but I know he needs to be the first to know.

“I’ve got to tell Nolan,” I say to Miranda.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asks, and I can tell she doesn’t actually want to go.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I hear myself say, even though I want to scream, No! Don’t make me go alone! “Why don’t you go to the hospital? I’m sure Rome needs you right now.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything, okay?” she asks, giving me a hug.

“Will do. And the same goes for you and Rome. I’ll come by the hospital a little later, if you’re both still there, but don’t wait around for me. Chances are, I’ll have Nolan in tow, and I doubt he’ll be in good shape,” I explain.

“Okay. See ya,” she says and walks away.

I take a deep breath, wondering how in the hell I’m going to tell Nolan about Hazel. I’ll figure it out, I guess.