Betrayed (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 2) (19 page)

‘Do you want to be with me, Izzi?’

I look at her, right into her eyes, because I need to do that, I need to look deep when she tells me this. I need to believe she means it.

‘Yes.’

She means it. There weren’t no flicker of hesitation, nothing there that told me she was lying. She was telling me what she wanted me to hear because she meant it.

‘Then we just have to run with this, baby. And when we get outta here, we’ll work it all out, I promise you. I promise.’

She leans in closer and I kiss her gently, and her fingers still cling onto mine and I know I’m about to begin the kinda journey I never thought I’d ever take. I never wanted to go there, but it’s too late to turn back now.

I push her back onto the bed and my hand rests against her hip as the kiss deepens, and her quiet moans and the way her tongue’s playing against the roof of my mouth, Jesus, my cock’s freakin’ aching here! But I ain’t pushing this, I ain’t forcing sex on her…
for
fuck’s sake!
The shit I’m having to get my head around…

I pull away and sit up, dragging my hands back through my hair, and I feel her kneel up behind me, her arm sliding around my waist as she lightly kisses my shoulder.

‘I’m sorry, Mack.’

I take her hand and hold it tight and I lean back against her. ‘We’re gonna be OK, Izzi. I promise you, baby.’

‘The Izzi who crash-landed into your life; the one who fucked-up your world, Mack, she’d have crossed this line by now.’

I tug on her hand and pull her around so she straddles me, and I kiss her slowly, my hands trailing down her back until they rest on her ass. It’s the closest I’m gonna get tonight.

‘Zeb hasn’t done anything wrong, he hasn’t hurt me or given me any reason to leave him. It’s all on me. I want to leave because I want to be with you, not because of anything Zeb’s done.’

‘You said he scares you.’

‘And in reality I can deal with that because I truly believe he wouldn’t ever hurt me.’ She rests her forehead against mine, her fingers lightly stroking the back of my neck. ‘I want to, Mack. I want to have sex with you so bad right now, but…’

‘Y’know what, baby? We’ve already crossed that line.’ And I’m right. We have. It’s just that neither of us was willing to acknowledge it. ‘Just being here, like this, together, we’ve already crossed it.’

‘I can’t, Mack.’

I slide my hands up under her T-shirt, and she gasps quietly as my fingers graze her skin. Yeah, it’s wrong, but this life we’re living, there ain’t none of it right. And I can’t control this no more, I want her too much.

‘Mack…’

She groans and throws back her head but then she suddenly snaps back to reality and pulls away, climbing off me.

‘I can’t do this, Mack. It doesn’t feel right.’

I stand up and walk over to her, cupping her cheek and kissing her slowly. ‘This ain’t just some quick relief fuck, Izzi, come on, baby, we both know what they feel like. We both been there. This is different.’

She looks up into my eyes and I think I might be getting somewhere. Am I being selfish? I mean, she don’t really want to do this yet, and I’m letting my cock work me here but I got too close, I’m almost there. I got too fucking close.

‘I wish you hadn’t married him, Izzi.’

She reaches up and her hand covers mine, and there’s something in her eyes now that makes me think she might be weakening. ‘I guess I jumped too soon, huh?’

I kiss her again, but she pulls back and lets go of me.

‘Maybe it’s best you go now, Mack.’

No, hang on. That wasn’t my plan, I’m staying. I’ll hold out on the sex, I will, but I ain’t leaving yet. And she looks up into my eyes again and she knows I ain’t going nowhere.

‘What are we doing?’ she whispers.

I can’t answer that, and I don’t even try to. I think she knows it’s a rhetorical question. And she drops her gaze for the briefest of seconds, and when she looks back up the atmosphere in the room seems to shift up a level. Something’s changed, like a switch has been flicked or a page has been turned, something’s changed. And when I touch her this time a bolt of electricity shoots right through me, she feels it too because she flinches slightly. I reach out and touch her again, running my fingers down her arm, trailing them over her skin and I can feel the goose bumps start to form. I look down, and her nipples are pushing against the cotton of her T-shirt, hard and erect and I can almost see her heart beating out of her chest. Mine’s doing the same, it’s beating so fast I can hear it, feel it banging against my ribs. And it’s coming, that volcano’s about to erupt, and that line, shit! It’s way behind us now. It’s gone, we can’t see it no more.

‘Mack…’ she whispers, her eyes boring into mine but she knows – it’s over. The holding back, the pretending this was never gonna happpen, it’s done.

‘I’m back, baby,’ I murmur into her neck as my fingers hook into the sides of her panties, gently tugging them down over her hips. ‘I’m fucking back.’

Izzi

It’s wrong, I know it is, but God forgive me I’m weak. And I want him, and I tried, I really did, I tried to step back from this but I can’t do it. Not anymore, not now.

He lifts me up onto the dressing table and yanks down my panties and any chance we had of stopping this at the last minute; that’s gone. All I can hear are our hearts beating, our breathing heavy and loud and I close my eyes and throw back my head as his mouth brushes the base of my throat, his tongue trailing over my skin, and I groan and shiver and lift my legs, spreading them wide. He drops a hand and touches me, his fingers grazing my labia and I’m finding it hard to control my breathing now. My lungs feel like lead, my chest’s tight but when he kisses me it’s like he’s breathing into me and my body relaxes as it gives in to him.

He pushes my T-shirt up over my breasts and I lean back, closing my eyes again as his head dips and his mouth covers one of my nipples, his hand cupping my breast as his tongue works the kind of magic I’ve missed, Jesus! I’d forgotten how good this man feels. And then he slides his fingers inside me, just for the briefest of seconds, almost too quickly for me to register they were even in there, and I look into his eyes as he smirks, the corner of his mouth twisting up only slightly, and it sends my stomach on a somersaulting session I wasn’t expecting. He’s got me feeling like a horny teenager on some clandestine date and I keep my eyes locked on his as I reach down and touch myself. I’m soaking wet and so ready for him, I couldn’t stop this now even if I wanted to. And I don’t.

‘You doing this on your own, huh?’

His gaze drops to between my legs, and I throw my head back again and very slowly drag my fingers over myself, down over my clit, gently grazing my perineum and that’s when he takes hold of my wrist and pulls my hand away. My head shoots up and I smile at him, and his grin widens as he slams his hand against me, causing me to cry out as the heel of his palm presses hard against my clit, his fingers teasing me, taunting me, threatening to enter me but then he pulls them away. And our eyes are still locked, but the atmosphere’s changed. No-one’s playing now.

He leans in to me, his mouth close to my ear as he speaks, his voice low and husky and I feel my thighs burn up and my stomach contract and I want him inside me so bad now. I want him, inside me. ‘You ready for this, darlin’?’

I breathe in deep and thread my fingers into his hair as I feel the tip of his cock touch my clit, and I pull him against me, our mouths crashing together as he finally pushes into me, slowly, and my muscles contract to pull him in. It’s like a shot of the most beautfiul drug has just been fired into me. My whole body’s filled with a glorious rush of heat as he thrusts gently, his hand back cupping my breast as he continues to kiss the life out of me.

I wrap my legs around him as his movements speed up, his thrusts becoming more pronounced, a little harder, and I pull away and lean back, my hands palm down behind me as I arch my back and push my hips against him, taking him deep, so deep I can almost feel his cock touching my inner wall.

His fingers dig into my thighs as his thrusts turn even more rapid, he’s reaching his peak, he’s about to fall over that precipice. I can feel his body tensing and I push my hips up once more and clench those inner muscles until he’s crying out loud, his fingers digging into my flesh as he comes in long, heavy spasms. I’m squeezing his cock so hard now, and he’s still pumping out into me, his groans still ricocheting off the walls and I unwrap my legs from his hips and spread them wide again, his hands resting on my inner thighs as those spasms finally start to slow down. And he’s done. For him it’s over, but he looks up at me and he smirks again and I know what he wants.

He leans in to me, his mouth once more brushing that space just below my ear as he pulls out of me, and the shiver that wracks my body is so intense I almost can’t breathe for a second or two. And then he rests his hand against me, the heel of his palm back on my clit and he moves it around in slow, circular motions, putting just the tiniest amount of pressure on it at first, but then I whisper that I need to feel more, need to feel him touch me harder and he responds, pressing against me with a little more force, those circular motions speeding up slightly. And when he slides his fingers inside me I throw back my head and moan quietly, another shiver coursing through me as he dips his head and his mouth covers my nipple again. He’s sucking on my tits and finger-fucking me to the kind of orgasm my body’s crying out for, and I’m not quite there yet but I know that when it hits he’s going to make me scream out loud and cry his name, I know that’s going to happen.

He pulls out of me, but keeps the heel of his hand on my clit, and his fingers are soaking, they’re covered in me as he stretches them out and I feel them graze my asshole. And that starts a wave of white-hot pleasure washing over me, sweeping through my body like a beautiful tsunami until I can’t hold back any longer, I’m coming, and I’m pushing against his hand and I can feel myself spilling out over him, I can’t stop it.
 
And when I’m done I fall forward, and he catches me and holds me and I wrap my legs back around him as I try to catch my breath.

‘Don’t go,’ I whisper as I gently stroke the back of his neck with my fingertips.

He rests his hand on my cheek and pulls back slightly, and he smiles, and I feel everything from guilt to relief; fear and excitement. I feel it all. ‘You want me to stay? ‘Cause I can’t promise this won’t happen again, Izzi. Baby, I got you naked in my arms, I been inside that crazy-beautiful body of yours and now there ain’t no going back. So if I stay, I can’t promise I won’t go there again.’

I kiss him slowly, gently nipping his lower lip and I smile as his hands lightly run over the curve of my waist. ‘I don’t want your promises, Mack.’

He returns my smile and I know that this brief moment of happiness, it’ll be shortlived. This isn’t permanent, we’ve got a long way to go before we can even begin to start planning what kind of life we’re looking for now. I just want to prolong this bubble for a little while longer. Before we both have to let reality back in. Before we both have to deal with it…

Chapter Fourteen

Zeb

‘You should eat something.’

‘And I told you, I don’t need you hovering around acting like you fucking care.’

‘I’m still your father, Zeb. And right now, the state you’re in, you’re of no use to me.’

I stand up and kick my chair back, sending it flying into the wall, and Kes’ eyes follow it as it slams hard into the plasterboard. ‘You need to treat this place with a little more respect, Milek.’

‘Fuck you!’

His hand’s on my shoulder before I’ve got time to realize what’s happening and, shit! I’m letting a fucking man who’s got over twenty years on me push me back against the freakin’ wall and I ain’t putting up a fight?

‘Eat something. Your blood sugar’s low and your responses are suffering.’

He lets go of me and I brush myself down as I glare at him. ‘Stop treating me like a fucking kid.’

‘Stop acting like one. You’re a mess, Zeb. You turn up here, looking like crap…’

I lunge at him, a red mist’s just descended and he ain’t doing this. ‘You threaten my wife if I don’t do your fucking dirty work, and you think I’m gonna come knocking on your door with my tail between my legs, happy to do anything you fucking tell me to? Don’t work that way. Dad. I don’t follow your fucking orders.’

‘Pull yourself together. Put whatever shit’s going on in your life to one side and focus.’

‘I ain’t killing no-one just because you tell me to. I ain’t helping you and your club on some kinda revenge mission just because you threaten me. I ain’t doing, shit. You got that yet?’

He leans in to me, but he ain’t intimidating me, I ain’t scared of him. ‘Then we have a bit of a problem, don’t we?’

I laugh, right in his face. ‘You gonna tell me you’ve got men watching Izzi as we speak, huh?’

‘Izzi? That her name? It’s a pretty name. Is she a pretty girl, Zeb?’

‘Fuck you, old man…’

‘Would you like her to stay that way?’

I grab him by his shirt collar and throw him back against the wall and I feel nothing but a raw, rising anger. I could kill him right now, do both me
and
Sam a favor but I pull back, despite myself. ‘You touch her, and I swear, I will rain shit on you and this club of yours that will end you in ways you don’t even wanna think about. I will come for you with everything I fucking have, and you won’t even see it coming.’ I toss him away like the rubbish he is. ‘I ain’t killing no-one for you. I ain’t
working
for you. Understand? I’m done with your crap. I got involved with Sam to save your ass, but there was nothing worth saving. I ain’t killing him. It’s bullshit. All of it. It’s fucking bullshit.’

‘So your loyalty lies with him, huh?’

‘My loyalty lies with no-one. Asshole.’

‘And what about
his
request? He wants you to kill
me
. You gonna refuse to do that job, too?’

‘I ain’t doing no-one’s dirty work. You two got a score to settle, you fight it out together, I ain’t getting involved.’

I turn and walk away, I’m done here.

‘You’re making a mistake, Zeb.’

I laugh, and then I slowly turn around, and the fucker’s got a gun aimed at my face, and that just makes me laugh louder. ‘Fucking
seriously?
’

‘You’re gonna kill my brother, Zeb. Before
he
kills
me
. Or your wife won’t look so pretty no more.’

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photograph, tossing it onto the floor and I look down. It’s a photograph of Izzi and me. On our wedding day. And I slowly look back up, my eyes narrowing as I stare him down. ‘You really wanna go there, huh?’

‘If you don’t kill me he’ll find someone else who will, so I need him gone before that happens.’

I walk towards him, the gun ain’t bothering me. Fucker probably ain’t even got it loaded, he’ll be trying to scare me. Which is how I know he don’t really care about me. He ain’t a father to me. If he really knew me he’d know that a gun aimed at my face don’t scare me. Not when he’s holding it. I can gauge a situation in an instant, it’s what I do. I’m good at it. My instinct’s never let me down before, and I know he ain’t gonna shoot shit.

‘I ain’t killing no-one, for
you
.’

‘One bullet, Zeb…’

In one swift movement I swipe the gun from his hand, and the roles are suddenly reversed as I aim it right at him. ‘Oh, man, looks like you’re getting a bit too old for this game now, huh?’

He laughs, and it’s cold and humorless but I can see the nerves he’s trying to mask. ‘Why’d you come here, Zeb? If you think so little of me, why’d you come here? What’re you running from?’

‘I ain’t running from nothing…’

‘Trouble in paradise, is that it? That old lady of yours messing about with one of your brothers…?’

I smash the gun across his cheek, not even flinching at the sound of bone cracking. The fucker should think himself lucky it was just his jaw I aimed for. ‘You don’t talk about her, you don’t fucking disres
pect
her, and you don’t ever,
ever
touch her. Not you, not one of your brothers, no-one touches her.’ I throw his gun down onto the floor and turn away from him, heading for the door. But then I stop and turn back around, my eyes locking with his. ‘And I don’t know why I came here. But I know I ain’t ever coming back.’