Between Friends (24 page)

Alex sighed. “Yeah … I’ll do it. But I know I’m going to live to regret this,” he said, getting up. He went to the windows to close the blinds, and turn on a lamp. It was getting dark outside. Alex hesitated and looked sharply at her. “Where did you tell your parents you were going to be tonight?”

“With my girlfriend, Maureen. What do I have to do?” Dallas asked, watching him as he moved about the room. He was picking up candles.

“Not much. Just take off all your clothes and hop on the bed.” He stopped when he saw the stricken expression on her face. “That’s how we start, Dallas. We get naked. Want to change your mind?”

“No.”

Alex began to put the candles around the area of the bed. On a night table, and a stool. On the floor and a shelf overhead. “This girl I used to go with got these for me. She said candles made it romantic. I don’t know … never did anything for me.”

He turned and saw Dallas standing in the middle of the floor watching him with overly bright eyes. He came to stand before her, watching the way she stood with her arms crossed.

“How old are you?” he asked.

Dallas thought about lying, but knew she wouldn’t be convincing. Anyway, she knew lots of girls who had been doing it with boys since ninth grade. Valerie had been younger.

“Sixteen.”

He nodded thoughtfully, as if that wasn’t as bad as he’d imagined. Alex slowly reached out and pulled her arms loose. “You can use the bathroom behind you to take off your stuff.”

Dallas twisted her hands together. “I don’t have anything else to …”

“I think there’s a shirt or something behind the door. You can put it on. I’ll wait for you out here.”

Dallas nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. The euphoria she’d felt with Alex’s consent quickly faded into insecurity and fear. But not doubt. She had
never
been in doubt. It was just that as she turned and slowly walked to the bathroom, she realized that this was irrevocable. She could only lose her virginity once. Only fleetingly did Dallas wonder how things might have worked out differently if Alex hadn’t fortuitously arrived at the Marco home the afternoon Nicholas had her cornered in the basement. If she had been forced to give her virginity then, her body pinioned and plundered, would it have seemed any more sacred—or any less—than she held it now? She had had to persuade Alex to agree to this, but having given in did he think any more—or less—of her?

The bathroom was tiny. Dallas lowered the top of the toilet seat and sat down on it, realizing that she was trembling and her skin was cold. She sat like that, her hands squeezed between her thighs for warmth. Her knees almost touched the opposite wall and she wondered how Alex, who was much taller than she was, managed. Focusing on the wall, Dallas began to pull off her sweater. She carefully folded it and laid it across the edge of the tub. She removed each item as if she were in a trance, until she was left in her bra and panties. And then it came to her that no one had ever seen her naked before. Maybe Valerie, over the years that they’d slept over at one another’s homes. But that was different. It was too late to wonder if she looked fat, or had heavy thighs, or if her breasts were too big.

Too late …

There was no shirt behind the door in the bathroom, and she had no intentions of opening the door and asking for one. Instead, Dallas made do with a towel from the rack over the tub. It did not cover as much of her body as she’d hoped, and there was not enough of it to also tie. So she held it closed with her hand. She stood indecisively, wondering if she should call out, or if Alex would call her. Finally, Dallas opened the door a few inches and spoke through the space.

“I’m ready,” she said softly.

The lights in the room went out. What remained was dim and flickering.

“Me, too. Come on in,” Alex said in a low voice.

Dallas heard the uncertainty in his tone, but did as she was told. As she stepped out of the bathroom, the wooden floor was cold under her bare feet. She kept her gaze down and clutched the end of the towel. Her heart was thudding in her chest. She glanced up covertly and saw that there were candles around the room, providing the only light. Alex had straightened the linens on the bed and now knelt in the middle of it, waiting for her. All of his clothing had been removed, too, except for his underwear. Close-fitting white shorts that covered the slight bulge of his genitals. Dallas noticed that, and his hair-covered chest. She squeezed her eyes closed and then averted her gaze to his face. But it was all in shadows. She was glad she couldn’t see his eyes … and hoped he couldn’t see hers.

“Come here,” Alex said.

Dallas slowly approached the bed and, hesitating for just a moment, awkwardly climbed on to face Alex, while trying to keep the towel in place. He said nothing and did nothing for a long time, until finally she opened her eyes and realized he was waiting for her to look at him as well. And once she did, she couldn’t look away. This close, his eyes were like an anchor. They gave her a focus, and helped her to remember that Alex had never done anything to hurt her, to humiliate her, and there was no reason to believe anything would change now.

Dallas had no idea what was expected of her, and she just sat there. But she began to feel less nervous, her body less stiff and tense. Her breathing became less shallow, and the warmth returned to her skin. As if sensing that she was ready to be touched, Alex finally reached out a hand to her. But it was to stroke her hair, finger it lightly. He reached farther and found the cord holding it, and tugged it off. Set free, Dallas’s thick, unruly hair spread out and framed her face. She wondered if Alex thought it made her look primitive. Ethnic. He was clearly fascinated as he tested the corkscrew curls, pulling on one and watching it spring back. His concentration distracted her until he touched her face. Alex trailed his fingers down the side of her neck and to her throat.

Too late …

The contact was like an electric charge, sensitizing the surface of her skin and making her nerves beneath it vibrate. Dallas kept her attention on his face and tried not to move as Alex’s hand explored. What Dallas felt was a cross between being tickled, and something else she hadn’t felt before. A pleasurable tingle that seemed strongest in her nipples and in her stomach.

His hand moved to the edge of the towel. Alex took hold and tried to pull it from her. Dallas held on.

“You can still stop.”

“No. I won’t,” she said bravely.

“Then … let go,” Alex commanded in a whisper, never taking his gaze from hers.

She obeyed, and felt the cloth slide away from her body. As each part was exposed, Alex shifted his attention. Dallas felt like she was shrinking under his scrutiny. When he did nothing but look closely at her, she was unable to resist the need to cover her breasts and the dark triangle below her groin. Alex stopped her in the process.

“Don’t,” he said simply, grabbing her hands. “Relax and let me look at you.”

Dallas listened to each of his commands as he slowly peeled away her resistance along with anything she might have hid behind. She had never felt so vulnerable, so exposed in her life. Valerie had not told her about this part. About what it was like to be completely naked in front of a man.

“Are you scared?” Alex asked.

She nodded, feeling ashamed for admitting it.

He sighed heavily. “You know what? Me, too.”

The admission put an immediate stop to the trembling in her hands. For a moment Dallas almost felt the need to comfort and reassure
him.
She wasn’t afraid of Alex, but she was not prepared when he touched her breast next. His hand stroked and squeezed the roundness, lifted it, and rubbed over the nipple. Alex now was using both hands on her body. Somehow finding other parts to caress that only increased the languid melting that was in combat with her lingering shyness and self-doubt.

The tingling spiraled out. It seemed to sink deeper into the pit of her stomach and flow into the inward space between her legs. It was a kind of aching that made her feel short of breath. There was a small sound, a sigh or moan, and Dallas realized it came from her.

“It’s okay if you want to touch me, too,” Alex said.

When she seemed inclined not to, Alex took one of her hands and placed it on his chest, and held it there. Dallas gasped, surprised at the firmness of his skin. Surprised by the heat that came through. Surprised by the silky feel of his chest hair. Alex let go of her hand when she tentatively brushed her fingers through the dark strands. Curiosity began to direct her movements.

She was enjoying touching Alex. She was enjoying the way his hands were gliding over her body, and Dallas began to fully relax at the gentle foreplay between them. It made her feel good. It made her feel bold … and very grown-up. Until his hands began to rub along her thighs, his large hands curved over the sides. Dallas found herself staring at his hands, realizing that his skin color was the same as hers. Back and forth his hands moved, his thumbs pressed along the insides of her legs … all the way to the top to where the hair was. She stopped her movements on his chest to look at what Alex was doing to her. Her thighs were parted just enough for him to cup a hand against her private parts. Dallas gasped and stiffened reflexively when his fingers briefly explored, and sent a surprising jolt of pleasure shooting through her.

“Alex …”

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly. “I just need to be sure you’re a little wet.”

She’d understand the significance later, and come to love the stroking of the delicate valleys, but just then her inclination was to pull his hand away. But already Alex was doing just that. Dallas found herself momentarily confused by the physical feelings, undecided as to whether or not she wanted Alex to stop touching her there.

“Lie down,” he said, shifting to make room for her.

A shiver racked through her body as slowly Dallas stretched out on the bed, on her back. She no longer bothered to try to hide herself. She had already come too far to turn back. But the anticipation of what was going to happen again stirred up a fluttering of fear. Dallas lay waiting. Alex sat back above her staring down at her, his gaze again roaming over her exposed body. It wasn’t until Alex came up on his knees that Dallas realized his body had gone through a change, too.

Alex quickly removed his white briefs and dropped them on the floor. His penis rose stiffly from his body, pointing toward her. Dallas closed her eyes and then felt his hands again on her body. His touch was slow, as if he was satisfying a curiosity. Then Alex again took her hand, this time to carefully wrap it around his penis. Dallas winced, but closed her eyes as she held him. He was very hard. The skin was warm and smooth, but taut. On her own Dallas began to explore the length of him. He said nothing as she did so. She squinted briefly at him and found Alex with his eyes closed, and his head a little back as she awkwardly stroked him. He stopped her, gently grabbing her wrist.

“Okay,” Alex murmured. “This is it … try to relax, okay?”

Dallas merely nodded. She couldn’t open her eyes. She jumped when Alex indicated with the pressure of his hands that she should raise her knees. She jumped again and he began to part them.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Y-yes.”

“I can still stop, Dallas. But you gotta tell me now.”

“N-no. Go on.”

Suddenly he was resting his body slowly atop hers. Automatically Dallas put her hands on his shoulders. He was heavy and long. The pressure of his hips and thighs forced her legs to open wider. Her whole body trembled. His naked body against hers was extraordinary. It seemed that it wasn’t possible to get any closer to another person than this. She was totally defenseless. She gasped and her heart started to race again.

“Take it easy …” Alex said soothingly. His hands slipped under her buttocks, lifting her.

Dallas felt the probing against the opening into her body.

Too late …

And then Alex stopped, his body poised stiffly above her. His chest flattened her breasts, but his hair was soft and his body still very warm. Dallas let her hands tentatively glide across his shoulders, feeling the muscles play under her fingers. When nothing else happened she opened her eyes only to find Alex staring down into her face. His expression was serious. But it was also very tense with his jaw flexing and his eyes a little dazed.

“This is going to hurt. I’m sorry. It can’t be helped.”

She held her breath, focusing on his eyes and mouth. And then he surged forward with a low grunt. It took her by surprise, and her eyes squeezed shut again. Her fingers clenched his shoulders.

“Oohh …” Dallas bit her lower lip, shutting off the sound.

Alex surged forward again, a little deeper.

Dallas refused to utter another sound. But her breathing became labored and deep as she tried not to wiggle away from his effort to bury himself inside her body. It wasn’t so much that it hurt as it felt as if she were being torn apart. Stretched beyond bearing. All of her energy and attention was centered on the feel of Alex pushing deeper within her. But he seemed to be struggling to breathe also, and Dallas wondered if he too was in pain.

Then Alex seemed to be withdrawing and Dallas thought it was all over. She thought he was pulling out. She released a deep breath of relief. But instead Alex thrust forward again. She didn’t think it was possible, but his body went even deeper until there wasn’t an inch of space between them, Alex seemed to rest against her for a moment, groaning deep in his throat. Dallas held on to him around his back, and felt the deep breaths he was taking. She hid her face against his shoulder.

“Is … is it over?” she asked very quietly. She couldn’t move. She felt as if something much too big had been shoved into the center of her, impaling her. Alex shook his head against her.

“No. Not yet …” he said hoarsely.

Alex slid his hands from beneath her bottom and came up on his forearms. And then he began a rhythmic in and out movement with his hips and penis against her, into her. Dallas realized his whole body was tense and straining. She could do nothing more than lie there, gritting her teeth against the repetitive pushing and stretching inside her body. Holding on to Alex with her arms clamped tightly around him, her fingernails unconsciously digging into his skin. He didn’t seem to notice. For a moment Dallas was horrified at what she was doing. To be naked with a man, in his bed, under him … it was different from the books. Different from the movies. Different from what the girls at school talked about. Already Dallas suspected that there was also something close to magic about the way their bodies were joined. It was almost … sacred. The way they fit together and moved with a natural motion from which Alex seemed to be drawing some enjoyment.