Blizzard (The Brotherhood Journals #1) (14 page)

“Mm…” he murmured.

“Swim!” Jayla called. I laughed and turned to run over to her as she jumped up and down in the shallow water.

I could feel his eyes on me. They burned, but the burn was so fucking good. Instead of lashing at my skin like a fierce fire, it warmed me. I let it wash over me, heating my body in the most delicious way.

Blizzard tended to flick his emotions on and off so quickly that I struggled to keep up. What I had learned though, was to enjoy the moments when I had them.

Jayla reached her hand up to me and I took it, leading us a little deeper into the water. It was cool, a shock to my hot skin. I did an awkward little dance as we waded further. “Oh my God! It’s cold!”

I heard Blizzard laugh from the shore and held my hand up, giving him my middle finger over my shoulder when Jayla couldn’t see.

It wasn’t long before Jayla was floating around on her own, kicking her little legs around the pond. There was a small platform in the middle of the makeshift lake that we used to jump off into the water. She headed for it. Last time we’d brought her here, she spent most of her time doing that.

When she jumped she’d go under the water, but the floaty device would bring her straight back to the top and she’d laugh like crazy. She was a water babe, there was no doubt about that.

Rose was still working her way into the water, taking deep breaths as she got a little deeper. It wouldn’t be long before she got used to the water temperature. My theory was it was always best to just dive straight in and deal with the cold hit in one shot. Rather than torment yourself by tippy-toeing in slowly.

“Oh my God. Oh my God,” she cried out as she dropped suddenly all the way up to her neck.

I laughed and grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling it forward over my head. I tugged my jeans off and tossed them in a pile on the grass.

She was treading water, watching me walk down onto the sand. Her mouth had slightly fallen open and her eyes glazed. I hoped like fuck she couldn’t see the tent in my swim trunks.

Watching her strip down to that sexy as fuck bikini had almost broken me. I needed this bad, like a fucking cold shower. When the water was just above my knees, I took a deep breath and dived forward, the cold water stinging my bare skin like needles. I opened my eyes quickly, catching sight of her legs and heading for them.

She was just touching the ground now. But I was much taller.

I came up in front of her, wrapping my arms around her waist as I surfaced and found my footing. I heard her squeal even below the water. I burst through the surface and took a deep breath, using my free hand to wipe the water off my face. Her legs wrapped themselves around my waist and her arms clung to my shoulders so she was plastered hard against me.

I felt a stinging slap on my back. “Ow! Why are you freaking out? You saw me coming!”

“I wasn’t expecting you to lift me out of the water, ass,” she growled, leaning back so that I could see her face, which quickly changed as a tiny gasp escaped her. The angle she’d moved to was perfect and the cold water had done nothing to calm my cock.

Her eyes quickly became hooded and I felt a soft growl leave the back of my throat. My hand drifted down so it was palming her perfectly toned ass and pushing her harder against me. “Blizzard,” my name fell from her lips in a whisper.

“I bought it.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion, but she continued to grind against me. “What?” Her voice was light and airy.

“This,” I ran my thumb down the strap that wrapped around her neck and over the thin material that covered her full breasts. When I hit her peaked nipple, I swirled my thumb around the hardened bud. Her head fell back and she pushed her chest into my hand, encouraging me. “Wasn’t about to see you wearing anyone else’s shit.”

I dipped my head and pushed her breast up, licking her nipple through the cold, wet material. A loud scream and splash shocked both of us into attention. When Jayla popped back up through the surface of the water laughing with her hair plastered to her face my body relaxed. I felt Rose relax too, and after our eyes meeting for a brief second, she pried herself from my arms and began to swim over to Jay.

“That was a big jump for a little girl!” she exclaimed, holding her hand up for Jayla to high five.

She slapped her little hand against Rose’s. “Your turn!”

Rose laughed and began pushing Jayla in her floaty toward the jumping platform again. They both climbed up and stood at the edge.

“Will you jump with me? I’m a little scared,” Rose asked, taking Jayla’s hand.

Jayla stopped and turned to Rose with a sad face, her smiles and laughter all gone. I paddled for the platform, not liking the sad look that she now had. I propped myself on the edge with my arms. “You okay, Jay?” I reached out and touched her leg.

She continued to stare up at Rose. “Don’t be scared. It’s okay,” her little voice whispered brokenly. “I’m not scared. It’s okay.”

Rose dropped straight to her knees and took both her hands. We could hear the heartbreak in her voice. “Thank you,” Rose said with a forced smile. She raised her hand and brushed a stray piece of hair away from Jay’s face. “I feel better now.”

Jay launched herself at Rose, throwing her little arms around Rose’s neck and hugging her tightly. They stayed like that for a while before they both pulled apart smiling.

My heart was beating over time.

These two girls.

Both of them had come into my life at full throttle.

I watched as they stood at the side of the platform, both of them with their shoulders back, heads up, and beautiful smiles lighting their faces. Both of them had been through some traumatic shit in their lives, Jayla’s little moment here telling me that there was more to her story than I realized.

Yet here they were, standing at the edge, ready to throw themselves off and see where life takes them next. No holding back.

I saw Rose’s strength coming back, it may just be little bits at a time but she was finding herself again and I was starting to think that maybe it was time to stop being so fucking stupid and realize what I had right in front of me.

Unfortunately, I was running out of time. Tomorrow she would be leaving with Judge and my mom to get herself set up there. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen on this mission, but regardless, it was dangerous.

How would I feel if she didn’t come out of this in one piece? Would I regret not telling her how I felt?

Blizzard and I had managed to make it through the whole day without any more moments. We both turned our attention to Jayla, making sure we made her laugh and smile as often as possible.

When she had told me it was okay, that I didn’t need to be scared, my heart had sunk. There was more to this little girl than either of us had anticipated. There was something more going on in her head than just losing her mom. The need to protect her filled my gut. She had buried herself inside my heart in such a short time. I knew that no matter what happened with me, or with the club—or if I was dragged all the way back to New York—I would make a deal with the devil himself if it meant that she would be safe and cared for and loved.

I checked over my shoulder to find her strapped into her car seat and snoring away as we headed back to the compound.

Blizzard’s relationship with her, while beautiful and special, was still a mystery to me.

“Did you have something with Jay’s mom?” I asked casually as I stared out the window.

He was silent for a moment. “Why do you ask?”

I shrugged before turning to look at him. He kept his eyes on the road, but his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter than needed. “Well, she’s not yours, but from the way you are with her, and the way she looks at you like you’re her world, anyone would think she was.”

His eyes flicked up to the rear vision mirror then back to the road. “Her mom, Hayley, hadn’t been with us for long. A couple months at the most. When she was killed, the club took in Jayla without a second thought. We protect what’s ours, Rose. Hayley had been one of our girls and we failed to keep her safe.”

“She loves you,” I said simply with complete confidence.

I caught the small twitch of a smile. “Don’t know what it is. She’s good with all the brothers. But she always seeks me out in a crowd or reaches for me when she’s upset.”

“You’re her pacifier.”

He laughed. “What?”

“Her pacifier. The things they give babies to calm them or relax them.” I couldn’t help but smile. “She knows she’s safe with you. So you let her breathe easily.”

He checked his mirror again like it was just natural for him to make sure she was okay every few minutes. “Hayley came into work one day, she was stressed, trying to get her high school diploma. But Jay was sick and she couldn’t study. We gave her some time off, told her we’d help. Not even half an hour later, she was dead outside X-Rated.”

I didn’t even think before the words came out. “It was Marco, wasn’t it?” When he didn’t reply straight away, I continued, “It happened around that time.”

His eyes flicked to me as he pulled up to a stoplight in the middle of town. “We thought it was at first. But after what Jayla said today, I’m beginning to rethink that theory.”

“Why?” I asked curiously.

“Hayley apparently was kicked out of home when she was pregnant. From what she told the girls, it had only ever been her and Jay.” He scrubbed a hand through his short hair. “But Jay knew fear. She knew what it was like to be scared to death of someone. And that’s something that’s learned.”

My hand went to my heart and I rubbed at my chest with my palm. It hurt, it hurt for this little girl who had quite possibly seen more in her short life than anyone should ever have to.

“Is she safe?” I whispered.

He nodded. “This is the safest place she could be. My brothers and I won’t let anyone hurt her or try to take her.” His hand reached over and squeezed my leg reassuringly. “Looks like I’m not the only one the kid has wrapped around her little finger,” he teased.

I laughed softly. “How could you not be with a face like that?” I tilted my head to the little black haired beauty.

He glanced over at me, staring at my face for a second before turning his eyes back to the road. “True story,” he mumbled.

The rest of the ride was silent until we pulled up to the gates of the compound.

“What the fuck?” Blizzard growled under his breath.

I spotted Jackie, and Judge, standing next to their bikes talking to Optimus. There were a few other men standing off to the side, all the motorcycles with heavy bags packed on the sides and a single cab Chevy truck with Skins leaning against it.

“What’s going on?” I asked as we pulled to a stop. Optimus veered off from his conversation and headed for us. Blizzard threw himself out and I scurried out my side, rounding the vehicle.

“They aren’t supposed to be leaving until the morning,” Blizzard snapped as Optimus got within a few feet.

“Shit changed, they need her on stage tonight,” Op countered, narrowing his eyes at Blizzard.

“Why?” I asked, nerves suddenly striking me in the stomach.

Blizzard folded his arms across his chest tightly, his biceps bulging and his fists clenched.

“One of them came into the club and organized a private booth for tonight right next to the stage. Apparently, it’s our target’s birthday and they’re planning on celebrating,” Op explained, his eyes drifting between the two of us. “It’s a better opportunity. He’ll be drunk and merry, and his boys have bought him some private time with one of the girls.” He indicated me with his head and my stomach once again flipped.

“She’s not there to fuck him,” Blizzard said sternly.

Optimus rolled his eyes. “We aren’t asking her to fuck him, brother.”

“Op—” Blizzard started, but I cut him off.

“How long do I have before we need to leave?” I asked, pulling the back door open. Jayla’s tired eyes blinked up at me and I smiled, earning a soft grin from her in return.

“ASAP.”

I nodded, pulling Jay from her seat and lifting her onto my hip. “I’ll get this one inside and then grab my stuff,” I told them as I headed for the clubhouse. Tense voices came from behind me, I knew Blizzard wasn’t happy, but I was still confused as to why.

I smiled briefly at Judge and Jackie as I passed, Light stood with them now, flicking the lighter in his hand impatiently and lifting his chin at me.

Jayla looked around, her eyes taking in all the different people and the atmosphere. I heard heavy crunching of the gravel coming up fast behind me as I ducked around the side of the building and through the patio doors. Heading to the right, I dodged through a couple of scantily clad club girls grinding on brothers and shot up the stairs in search of Blizzard’s room. I knew he was following, I could practically feel the heat of his anger blazing a trail behind us. The doors upstairs were named, so I checked each until I found his and stood to the side silently waiting for him to open it.

He stepped around me and turned the handle, throwing it open with force and storming inside. His mood confused me. He knew this was what was going to happen, whether it was today or tomorrow. It was planned and he’d agreed to it entirely, smart remarks included.

I stepped inside. The room was large, at least four times the size of the one I was sleeping in downstairs. But I get it, club girls didn’t need luxuries.

His massive bed sat front and center, the blankets still tossed and messy from the night before. To the right though was a small pink princess bed with a large rug on the floor which was patterned with numbers and letters and bright colors. There were toys scattered all over the room, kids’ books and DVDs covered a small table.

He reached out and took Jayla from my arms, picking up a small tablet device as he rounded the bed. I watched as he let her pick a game to play. Her little face smiled up at him brightly as he kissed her cheek and stepped away.

Her little fingers danced over the surface of the tablet and soft giggles filled the room.

I smiled. “I need to go.” But before I could make my escape, he shut the door behind me and pulled me by the hand into his ensuite. He checked Jayla over his shoulder one last time as we entered before spinning me and pressing me against the basin.

My mouth fell open. “What are you doing?” I asked nervously.

“Don’t let him touch you.” Came the stern warning.

I narrowed my eyes. “Who?”

“The guy you’re trying to attract with this body.” His hand went to my waist and slipped under my shirt. His hips held me pinned against the basin, but this wasn’t sexual, not in the least. This felt more like desperation.

“Why?” I asked softly, reaching up to place my hand on his chest.

His head dropped, and suddenly this man who’d spent the last few days giving me hell with his mood changes seemed so broken.

“Because I need you to come out of this alive.”

I shook my head. “Blizzard, I don’t understand.”

“It was easy to convince myself that I hated you when you weren’t around to prove me wrong.” His head stayed dipped, but his eyes looked up, finding mine. My heart stuttered. “Two days. That was all it took for you to do just that. I don’t know what the shit is that I’m feeling, but I need more time to figure it out.”

“I…” Words were lost on my tongue. Was this him telling me that I hadn’t fucked this up completely?

“Trust isn’t earned overnight. I need more time. So you need to come back, okay?” His hand squeezed my waist.

My heart skipped a beat and I lifted my hand to graze his bristled cheek. “I’ll try.”

“Don’t try, just do it,” he said sternly like it was my choice. But it wasn’t. If these men found me out, they would probably kill me for attempting to deceive them.

“Rose!” I heard Optimus’ booming voice down the hall.

Blizzard didn’t move, our eyes held connected until I wiggled myself from his grasp and stepped away. He placed both hands on the basin, not looking at me as I slipped from the small space.

I ran around the bed and gave Jay a quick kiss on the cheek before dashing out the door.

Leaving my heart in that room with them.