There is no breeze thankfully. My aim was
dead on. I give it a few more seconds and release the arrow I have at the
ready. The arrow drops the taller one.
Nine left.
A scream fills the forest.
Muriel has spotted them. She is making
her own bit of dust on the gravel road. She runs fast but the infected have
heard her scream. Somehow they move faster than she does. They're gaining on
her.
"Fuck." Will is shaking the
tree and nearly knocking me out of it as he climbs down. He jumps when he's
close enough to the ground and sprints through the forest. I release another
arrow as soon as he is out of the tree. Another drops.
Eight.
They are running fast. My next arrow
misses.
I climb down fast but by the time I reach
the ground the gunfire has filled the forest. The truck has rounded the corner.
Leo and I run for the disaster the
infected have created.
I want to run away. I've made the mess in
front of me.
I push my legs. When I arrive the truck
is pulled over and Muriel is being dragged behind it. Guns are firing like mad.
Bullets come from the truck and the forest. No one notices at first that the
infected are running hard for the truck.
"Holy shit Blake." A man shouts
and one of the others turns to the infected. He shoots his automatic weapon and
drops them to the their knees. They crawl and drag themselves. I pull an arrow
and from the woods I hit the man in front of the truck in the eye. He drops a
massive gun.
I fire another arrow but I miss the man
holding Muriel by the throat. He drags her to the far side of the truck.
Four men with guns surround the huge
white truck. Bullets are being sprayed into the woods. I hear the bullets
knocking on the trees around me. I duck and wait. My heart is pounding in my
throat.
The truck door opens and Muriel screams
for a second. The closing door cuts her screams short.
"Let's go." One of the other's
shouts.
The truck drives away but the bullets
still pelt the forest. When I glance up I see the bullets come from the man
standing on the side of truck holding onto the mirror and shooting as the truck
speeds away.
I cover my eyes and wait for the panic to
subside.
I am tackled and thrown to the ground.
Fingers grip my skin and my throat. I
feel something hard against me. A loud growl fills the forest followed by a
scream. My back is against a stick. It's stabbing in. It hurts a lot.
I see something black flash across the
canopy.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!"
Stars flash in front of my eyes like when
my granny used to take pictures of me. I try to focus but my head hurts. I see
things go black but I can feel his fur and hear his growl. I know he'll kill
anything that comes for me.
xxxx
Waking from a blackout is a bad experience.
The pain is the first thing I feel. Then the alarming sense of confusion takes
over. As the light hits my eyes I wince and lean to the side. I throw up and
try not to notice the pain everywhere.
A cold nose is pressed against my cheek.
The weak sickening feeling is everywhere at once. I want to close my eyes again
but her scream is locked in my memory. She is caught because of me.
I hear his voice, "You are not
responsible for everyone on the planet. It's us and them. You need to take care
of you. That's survival Em."
I can't make that my mantra anymore. I
cost a life today. I am responsible. Like the women who were taken when I was
in the town. Meg's mom and aunt. I am to blame.
"You know the rules." I hear
talking. I open my eyes.
I can't see much, it's dark. I put a hand
out and feel fur. Leo is sitting guarding me.
"A life for a life Will. You made
the fucking rule."
"I made the rule for reckless loss
of life. Muriel might not be dead firstly and secondly Emma never cost her life
on purpose."
"I want her back, god dammed. I
don’t care how you feel about that fucking kid."
"Your vision is clouded Will. This
is just like Star. You're risking the good of everyone for a piece of ass. Now
that a new piece of ass has come along you're doing it again."
"I told you already once you don’t
bring Star up. She's off limits."
"Yeah well you always have had a
thing for a pretty face and a tight ass. I vote we take her to Marshall and he
chooses. It's fair."
"You guys want to kill her you come
through me." Will's voice sounds frightening.
"Marshall is going to be the one to
decide. We leave at dawn." A scuffle starts up. I hear branches breaking
and a man grunting.
The light of fire flickers on the trees
high up. I look around me. I am on my bedroll. I see my bow and quiver next to
me. They are leaning against my backpack. I drag them slowly to me. I pull the
backpack on. Leo doesn’t move but I feel his awareness of me. I put a hand on
his back and whisper, "Shhh Leo. Down low buddy. Down low."
He knows the command. He stays put. I
roll away from the bedroll and slither through the woods. I make no noise. I
might not have been born into this world but I have mastered surviving it.
When I am in the lower part of the
hillside they're camped on, I stand but maintain a crouch. I run.
My head hurts and I want to throw up
again but I hold my breath. I can only breathe short inhales and exhales.
I stumble and trip. I'm far enough away
that they don’t hear me. I can't hear their bickering.
I hear a crunch behind me and sigh when I
see the yellow eyes. I'm sprawled out on the ground. Leo nudges me and helps me
stand. We run.
We reach the bottom of the hill where the
road was. I feel the gravel beneath my feet. I don’t know if it’s the same
road. I can't see anything. The moon isn’t out.
I am lost. Leo growls.
I stop and wait for him. My hand is out.
His fur is suddenly in my hand. I grip it lightly and let him pull me. My eyes
are still fuzzy from my knockout. I hear something. A scratch on the gravel and
a high moan. Shivers tickle up and down my spine. We are on the same road as
before. The infected are here.
The gravel beneath my feet makes a
thousand noises I wish could be silenced. I know they can hear me. If they have
upper body strength the infected are dragging themselves to me. Madness could
overwhelm me if I had listen to their scratches on the gravel.
My knees nearly buckle as the ground
slants into the ditch on the other side. My eyes are clearing and I'm able to
focus. I can see a log in front of me. I jump over it with Leo and we start to
run again. My back is aching and my neck feels like it's been cracked the wrong
way. My throat hurts to swallow. I'm sure I couldn’t scream if I had to.
I ignore it all and run into the woods.
When we reach a place with a high canopy I climb into a tree. I hug the tree
and try to piece together what I can. The villagers no doubt blame me for the
Muriel fiasco, which is entirely my fault. Will had sex with Star and for
whatever reason that makes me angrier than the guys trying to kill me. The
rough bark of the tree reminds me of the last time I felt this alone. I was
happier then. It was Leo and me and no one else in the world mattered.
I wait for the night to feel less
intimidating but it never does. I want Will as deeply as I loath him. I smile
and think about Jake. His soft touch, his shy kisses, his funny smile. He is
everywhere but where it matters. My heart belongs to Will.
I am fickle in love, just like my mother.
I never would have imagined her two years with me were enough to influence me.
There is a place reserved for her in the back of my mind. It's a dark little
corner where the things I remember about her tend to cower. The memories of her
have a stain that taints them. The only untouched memory is the one of us in the
hospital bed. The stain of my father's contempt ruins all the others. Long
before I was born my mother had an affair with my father's little brother, my
uncle Rick. My father discovered Rick and my mother. My mother swore it meant
nothing and it would never happen again and my father believed her. He loved
her and he let it fool him until she died and he was able to see things for
they really were. My mother loved two men at the same time. She never gave up
my uncle to be with my father. She just kept the secret better.
I am like her, more like her than I ever
imagined I would be. I love them both for opposite reasons. I hate myself for
that.
I fall asleep against the rough bark with
the images of the things I cannot change and the things I can, floating around
in my head.
When I wake I use the rising sun to
navigate my way back to the breeder farm. The area is starting to feel
familiar, that bothers me.
Leo and I hike through the woods like we
did before, only now I barely notice the birds or the animals and I don’t feel
the freedom of just the two of us. Now I feel the weight of other people in my
life. I understand the word baggage and how it applies to people. Somehow I
have gained baggage in the short time I have known them all. There is only so
much room inside of people for things. I see that now. I used to have room for
many things. Now those things seem unimportant and the people have taken over
the limited amount of space I have.
I hear trucks along the road and I
grimace, the plan had been flawless but I never accounted for the infected. It
was a mistake. One I will never make again. As much as their numbers have
dwindled they still manage to destroy the things we love.
Through the light of the canopy I can see
the roof of the breeder farm. I don’t have a plan. I pull my backpack off my
shoulders and grab the handgun I was given by Mary when we left the camp. It's
her favorite. She had said it was Australian. I smile and remember her favorite
features were the seventeen rounds and silencer. Anna looked like she was going
to pee her pants when Mary handed it to me. The cold polymer gun feels heavy in
my hands. I grip the handle that was clearly fitted for a man. I adjust my hand
to compensate for the large grip. I promised Anna I would bring it back and she
could use it. I want to keep that promise.
I sling my bow over my arm so the quiver
and it are easily accessible and put the extra clip of ammo in my pants pocket.
I stuff the card that opens the locks in my other pocket.
I leave the backpack on the ground and
take a deep breath. I take my first step from the woods and feel the sickening
fear inside of me subside as my instincts take over. Inside of me are animal
instincts. They were born in a world I wasn’t. They take over when I need them
to. They've taught me how to survive. I have learned it is the most important
part of the world I live in.
My feet crunch on the short dry brown
grass. My eyes narrow and plan for the moment I am spotted. I move quickly and
as silently as I can. I get close to the building and recognize the door in
front of me instantly. It is the door I was brought to. I run along the side of
the building to the place where I left the building. The huge bins are lined
up. The still air stinks like a cloud that is stuck in a valley.
My feet move quickly along the large part
of the garbage lot to the staircase that leads to the door I came out of. I
never in a million years imagined I would be trying to get back in.
I pull on the door before I have to shoot
the lock. It opens with a hard pull. My heart pounds. I look in with my gun
ready. No one is inside. Whoever left there last never closed the door
properly? Inside it looks as it did when I was last here. The hose with the
nozzle like the one my grampy had is sitting as if no one has been by to touch
it. Leo saunters in sniffing and watching me. I close the door. The door inside
has no weird scanning thing for the card. I turn the handle and the lock clicks
open. It's one sided.
I look both ways down the hall before I
creep out. Leo and I leave the garbage room and walk down the hallway. It's
only early in the morning. The staff tends to get to work at around nine. The
clock on the wall says seven eleven. I smile and remember it was a store. I
called it the slushy store. My stomach growls but my animal instincts kick in
and push my smile and hunger away.
I hear a rustling of papers and take a
breath. The footsteps inside of the room on my right sound heavy. I glance in
nervously. A man in a white lab coat is looking for something frantically.
I look at Leo and wink. He drops to his
belly against the wall and waits. I hold the gun up and round the corner.
When he looks up I don’t recognize him.
"I'm one of you." His words are
fast.
I look him over. He looks like a doctor.
He doesn’t look shiny like a citizen of the city.
"I worked with Marshall. I'm helping
the rebels if that’s who you are."
I put my finger on the trigger and take
his pass from his desk. I check his door. The pass must be used to get out. I
tear his phone out of the wall and rip the cord out of the back.