Bound by Duty (Bound Series Book 1) (9 page)

A slow smile spread across Cole’s face. “Micah. He’s our solution. We need to find out what he knows and see if he can help you!”

I jumped to my feet. “NO! No, Cole. I know what you’re thinking and I’m not going to manipulate him. I can barely even stand the guy and you want me to cozy up to him? And what about B? How am I supposed to explain why I’m spending time with her boyfriend, huh?”

“Tell the princess you need a tutor or something. I don’t care what you tell her. Amelia, we need more help than we even know. Maybe this kid can do something we haven’t been able to do ourselves. At the very least, maybe he can introduce us to other people in the area. You don’t know how hard it is to break into these ranks of people. We don’t belong anywhere. We don’t have family lines we can point to without giving away our Elder ties. We need an in. He could be our in!”

I started to pace the length of Cole’s office. I saw his point. I didn’t understand what he had gone through to get the information he had, but I knew it wasn’t easy. If Micah could help us at all, it could really get us somewhere. I just don’t like the guy. But, he treats Bethany well and she obviously thinks he’s great, so there’s got to be something there. I continued my internal argument for a few more passes of the office while Cole patiently watched me, waiting for me to process. Finally, I stopped and sat back down in the chair across from him.

“I’ll try to make friends with him. I won’t lie to him. I won’t manipulate him. But, I’ll see what he has to say.” Cole tried to speak but I stopped him, pointing a finger and glaring until he closed his mouth again. “I’m sick of lying, Cole. I’m sick of half-truths and hurting people in the name of secrets. Hell, I’m sick of being hurt by all the secrets. So, I’m going to really try to be his friend. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, he wasn’t meant to help us.”

He nodded and I knew he wouldn’t fight me any further. “Alight, Ame, do it your way. I get it. You’re probably right to want to do it this way. I’m too used to the secrets and having to manipulate people to get what I need out of them. Speaking of, I don’t want to get into it now, but let’s do dinner again soon so I can do some more explaining. I know you want to know everything right now, but it’s easier for me to do in pieces.” At that moment, I saw how tired he actually looked. I hadn’t seen it when I walked in, but every time he talked about Queen Julia and the stories he needed to tell me, it was as if I watched him age right before my eyes.

“Okay, Not now, but soon. I’ve gotta go anyway, but I’ll let you know how things are going. And, I know you don’t really care, but I’m going to call Ryn tonight too so I’ll let you know if Dad’s back home yet.” I glanced up, hoping I would see some sort of emotion, but all I saw was indifference in his eyes. He shrugged and came around to give me a quick hug. “Just don’t let him get to you, Ame. It’s not worth it. Ever.” The words were quiet but the anguish behind them was a thick cloud of emotion between us.

As I walked back out to my car, I wondered what had really happened between my father and my brother. On further thought, maybe I didn’t want to know.

The nightmares have been terrible this week. I walked around in a daze of exhaustion from nights spent lost. Literally. Every night it was the same bits and pieces that I could barely recall. Fog everywhere, surrounded by trees, me calling out constantly, and gray eyes with blue flecks. It was always just his eyes, but they were everywhere. As soon as I called his name and turned toward him, they would disappear.

I hadn’t expected it to hurt this much. I hadn’t thought that stopping a relationship that had never started would feel like I was being ripped open every time Aidan walked by. He still wouldn’t speak to me, but I caught him watching me like he had in the beginning. He wasn’t hiding it. There was no anger like I thought there would be, like there had been that first day. He just simply stared while I made every attempt to not acknowledge it, to keep myself from locking eyes with him and falling directly into the smoky gray depths that wouldn’t let me back out. He was blatantly telling me without words that he wasn’t going away and I couldn’t even let myself think about what that meant.

I was stronger than this. I had to be. Cole and I had dinner last night and, after another story-telling session, I was even more convinced that I had to remain on course. I still didn’t understand what deal my father had struck to allow me to stay with him and not be taken directly to Queen Julia. She could force me into this marriage but hopefully I could do something good with it. I sighed as I heard Cole’s story rolling through my head once again. He spoke of torture chambers, of Hunters forcing themselves into people’s mind and extracting the information they wanted. He spent a good deal of time going through the exile of the AniMages.

“Amelia, did you know that AniMages were once respected by all Immortals? That their ability to become any animal, to commune so closely with nature, was something we actually celebrated, not persecuted?” Cole looked so sad as he spoke and I wondered if this was one of those memories he’d been given that wouldn’t go away. I simply shook my head and he continued. “No one really understands what exactly set the Queen on her rampage against AniMages, but one day they were a part of the council and the next they were being banished. Whole communities of AniMages were flushed out by the Hunters. The Queen ordered them out of the castle, off the lands that had been their hunting grounds for centuries. When villages weren’t disbanded fast enough, the Hunters went in and forced the issue. She tried to tell people she never killed them, only forced them out. But, I’ve seen it, Amelia. Women. Children. Grandparents. Dead.”

We were both quiet a moment as his words sunk in. I was sure visions of the massacre others had passed on to him were pushing through his mind as his eyes took on a far-off look. With a shake of his head, he refocused and kept talking. “The queen tried to justify her case by saying that the AniMages had been planning to overthrow the crown. Eventually, the Mages realized it was she herself who had that plan all along. She told people they were aberrations, a race never meant to be born and an evil mix of uncontrollable animals lucky enough to have some Mage abilities. She convinced the Mages that if they continued to allow intermarriage between the races that one day their children would come out all animal, no Mage left. She actually had people believing that the AniMages’ animal sides held the most control and they couldn’t be considered actual people because they were first animals. The AniMages that stood up against her were thrown in prison and weakened until they couldn’t shift out of their animal form anymore. They were collared and chained up. Hundreds of them.”

A quick jolt shot through me, a visceral reaction spreading from the deep recesses where my power was hovering, sending rage and shock through me in waves. “She’s a monster. Cole, I just don’t understand how this happened. How is it that everyone just blindly believed her? That they turned on their friends and neighbors so quickly? How was she able to keep everyone from even discussing it? I can’t believe all of our people were so blind and stupid.” I was just flabbergasted to think we had allowed this to happen. But, it was fascinating how ignorant a collective people can be. History has shown us that time and time again.

He shook his head and I saw light green flow around the edges of his irises. My own power responded to the surge in his.

“The best I’ve been able to gather is that between Queen Julia and the Hunters, they had something on everyone with any sway. They blackmailed. They threatened. And, a lot of people did what mom and dad did, they just left. They refused to be a part of it, but they also refused to do anything about it. Most of the people who would actually talk to me were ones who walked away from it all and tried to start a new life. As long as the Mage’s didn’t cause a fuss, the queen just left them alone.”

I pulled the bottom of my lip between my teeth and tried to breathe. “It just seems so cowardly. To walk away from something like this. Our people needed mom and the other Elders. They needed someone with power to fight for them, not to just walk away.” I was getting worked up. So much emotion coursed through me — anger, sadness, the want to do something
right now
to change things. Electricity crackled in my veins and I could feel the throbbing at the base of my neck signaling a release I wouldn’t be able to stop if I didn’t calm down.

Cole reached out, laying his hand over mine, and I instantly felt relief. His power was a soothing balm over the frenzied and frantic pulses running through me. My nerves were slowly becoming less raw and ragged as my whole system calmed. It was one of the few times my magic wasn’t angry for being tempered.

“Maybe that’s why this happened to you, Ame. You are the last Elder for a reason,” he said, looking far too hopeful. “Because you have the strength to do what no one else seemed to be able to do. You can marry the prince and fight for the right reasons. We just need to get you ready.”

I hadn’t ever thought of it that way. I could marry the prince like I was supposed to, yet have my own agenda. I had spent my life living a lie, trying to be someone I wasn’t. How was this any different? Someday Queen Julia wouldn’t be queen anymore and that would make me the queen. I would no longer be a pawn. I could change things. Life could be different if I could just learn to use what I had before I was sent to the castle and she had full access to what I was capable of. Pining away for what might have been with Aidan seemed so small in comparison to what I was up against.

I sat on the couch, attempting to care about homework but really thinking about Bethany. She wasn’t avoiding me per say, but she wasn’t being overly communicative either. I wanted to apologize again, but my own thoughts were a mess. It was as if an entire team was playing ping pong inside my skull. The thoughts rammed back and forth across the space, vaulting to one side and then the other.

I wonder what Aidan’s doing?

Don’t think about him.

What am I really supposed to do about a crazy queen?

You’re gonna have to figure it out. You’re the Elder.

Why me?

Quit with the pity party.

I was exhausted. I was lonely. I needed someone who got it.

I finally gave in to the instinct I’d been fighting for days and dialed Rynna’s number. It was past time for a check in and I needed to know if dad had showed back up yet.

“Well, hello there, Amelia!” I always loved when Rynna answered the phone. She was always genuinely happy to be talking to me. I swear, I could feel her love and warmth through the phone, wrapping me up in hugs like she used to when I was home.

“Hey, Ryn! I’ve missed you. How are things?” I tried to project the happiness she made me feel, but it didn’t quite make it to my voice.

“Things are fine, dear. But, you don’t sound fine. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.

I groaned, but was secretly happy to be so easily found out. “I suck at hiding things. That’s what B always says, too. Except, she’s mad at me, which seems to be the theme lately. I just keep pushing people away. Everyone I care about I have to keep at arm’s length. I’ve just had it, Ryn. I’ve had it with the lying, and the power craziness, and always having to be the one giving things up for the good of the cause.” I was whining and I knew it.

Rynna paused for a second, but I was used to her processing time. Every word was chosen carefully and she always thought every situation through. She was the voice of reason after too many of my father’s tirades.

“I’ve been waiting for this, Amelia. It’s what I was both afraid of and hopeful for when you left us,” she said. There was a strange mix of pride and frustration in her voice.

“You’ve been waiting for me to call and say I feel like I have multi-personality disorder? That I can’t control my power? That I lead a double-life and I question every day why the heck I’m doing all of this? Especially the more I learn about the wonderful and glorious Queen Julia?” Sarcasm laced my words, but tears filled my eyes. There was always someone who knew more than I did. I should just be used to it by now.

“Well, that is essentially true,” she started. “But, what I truly hoped was that you would go out into the world and realize there was more to it than our little Immortal soap opera. Don’t get me wrong, Amelia, what’s happening in our realm is serious and has dire consequences for all of us, but you are a child in the scheme of things and your life was taken from you.”

I was shocked at the force behind her words. The anger I heard in the timbre of her voice. Rynna was the strong and steady one. She believed in the system. Or, so I thought. “But, Ryn, this queen, she’s a monster. And I’m supposed to marry her son. And I’m an Elder. The last Elder. Doesn’t that make all of this my problem? It’s on me to do something about all of this. Cole doesn't have what I have. That’s what I keep hearing. That I’m the Elder and I’m the only one left who can change things. Or, at the very least, be able to stop her from using me for something terrible.”

She sighed and it was a few moments more before she spoke again.

“Let me tell you a story, Amelia. I once knew another Elder with a very similar problem. She was beautiful, like you, with your independence, spirit, and power, too. Everyone loved this girl. She grew up privileged, with people always watching her everywhere she went. You’d think she would have let it all go to her head, but she didn’t. She was kind and gracious and always thought of everyone else before herself.”

“When she turned eighteen, she was also betrothed. But, by then, she had already met her one true love. Her parents told her it was for the good of the kingdom. That she had a duty to her family and her people. She tried to listen. She walked away from the boy she loved, spent all of her time at the castle buried in books and tribunals with the other Elder families. She tried her best to do her duty. But, all the while, her heart wasn’t in it. She started to fade. Her internal fire dimmed. Her power wouldn’t cooperate. She stopped smiling and she wandered around as if she were lost. She had only met her fiancée once and she was already a shadow of herself.”