“I’m okay, just not really hungry,” she assured us as we both eyed her suspiciously. “I’m fine, honestly.” She held up her palms in protest and appeared to be fighting against the grin that had involuntarily appeared on her face. I wasn’t sure what could possibly be amusing her.
I glanced at Ryan, who was also trying desperately to mask a smile, the corners of his mouth upturned just ever so slightly.
“What are you two grinning at?” I asked, my voice revealing my suspicion. Something was going on, the way the couple repeatedly shot each other nervous but excited glances gave it away.
“Nothing, I’m not grinning.” Ryan argued. I knew him too well to fall for his bullshit. He was hiding something, I was sure of it. I continued to study his face and he shook his head, far too dramatically for it to have been a natural movement.
“What are you two not telling me? Are you ill?” I ordered, turning my attention back to Natalie.
“Ryan!” Natalie slapped Ryan’s shoulder with the back of her hand. “We weren’t going to tell anyone yet.”
“Tell anyone what?” I urged, my voice rising as panic began to set in. She must be ill. She hadn’t eaten a single thing all evening and she was turning down wine. It was only then that I noticed how pale her face looked, and I was certain those dark circles beneath her eyes were not usually there. “Natalie, quit fucking about. What’s wrong?”
Natalie looked to Ryan and seemed to smile apologetically before shrugging gently and turning back to me. “It’s early days yet, but, I’m pregnant. You’re going to be an uncle.” Her nervous expression instantly disappeared and her face beamed with joy as the words gushed out of her mouth.
My breath hitched in my throat and I was sure my expression revealed nothing but shock as I gawped at her, my eyes wide. Wow, I didn’t see that coming so soon. An uncle? I glanced at Emily, who seemed to be waiting for my reaction before revealing her own.
“Well, I thought you’d be happy for us.” Natalie sounded wounded, her voice shaking slightly as a frown replaced her wide smile.
“Of course I’m happy for you! Come here.” I snapped myself out of my speechless state and hugged my sister hard against my chest and she squeezed me back. It was at that moment that it hit me. My little baby sister was going to be a mum, wow. Ever since I could remember, Natalie had wanted to be a mum. Even when she was just a kid herself she’d tell me how she was going to have her own babies and how she’d be the ‘bestest mummy in the world’. And I believed her, she would be a fantastic mother to this child, I had no doubt about it. Natalie could be a cold hearted bitch at the best of times, but, when it came to her family, she was one of the most caring and devoted people I had ever known. She would do anything to ensure their happiness. This child would be doted on. He, or she, would have the perfect life that every child deserves. And, without a shadow of a doubt, would be absolutely spoilt rotten - with luxuries, and most importantly, with love and affection. A thick lump was rapidly forming in my throat. I wasn’t going to cry, again. God, I had spent years of my life without ever feeling the need to shed a single tear, now I seemed to battling against them more often than not. Crying in front of Emily was one thing. Crying in front of Ryan, on the other hand, wasn’t even an option. I pulled away from Natalie before wrapping my arm over Ryan’s shoulder and slapping him firmly against his back. “Congratulations, man!”
Emily appeared to breathe a sigh of relief and rushed forward to congratulate the pair. “I’m so happy for you both, he or she will certainly be a little stunner with your twos looks!” she gushed.
Emily’s words seemed to nestle further into my head than I should have allowed as I found myself picturing what a child of our own would look like. I could picture Emily’s rounded blue eyes looking up at me from a perfect, tiny rounded face and my chest tightened. I quickly dismissed the image with a slight shake of my head, confused by the direction of my own thoughts.
“So, how far gone are you?” Emily’s voice was full of excitement as her eyes danced over Natalie’s stomach, obviously checking for any sign of a growing bump.
“About two months. We’ll know for sure when we have a scan.”
“You haven’t had a scan yet?” I interrupted before my mouth dropped open.
“No, it’s not for another three weeks.” Natalie replied looking shocked by my sudden outburst.
“That’s bullshit! How are you supposed to know that everything’s okay? Especially after...” I trailed off as the sickening image of Natalie’s frail body slumping heavily to the ground attacked my head. “You’ll get your scan tomorrow, I’ll see to it.”
“Julian, there’s no need. I’d know if something was wrong.”
“It wasn’t a question, Natalie. I’ll take you myself if I have to.”
I was surprised at Ryan. Why hadn’t he taken her already? It’s not as if he couldn’t afford it. Mind you, not many people had the nerve to question my sister, and if Natalie had said there wasn’t any need, I’m assuming Ryan wouldn’t have dared to argue and face the wrath of Natalie’s temper.
“I will take her,” Ryan said, stepping forward and adopting a protective stance in front of my sister.
“Great. I’ll call my doctor in the morning and have it arranged. I’ll let you know what time.”
Listening to Emily and Natalie gushing over babies, and all the things that go with one, for the rest of the evening played havoc with my emotions, to my surprise. As Emily recalled various stages of her pregnancy with Maia I found myself feeling uneasy, agitated somehow but I couldn’t fathom why. I then realised that I wished I could have been there with her, to support her through what must have been a terrifying time for such a young girl. She was just eighteen when she fell pregnant; she was barely more than a child herself. I listened half-heartedly as she described Maia’s birth whilst trying to hold up my own conversation with Ryan.
“What do you think?” Ryan shook his head slightly as he watched me through narrowed eyes.
“About what?” I had no idea what he was referring to.
“It doesn’t matter; you’re obviously not listening to a word I’m saying.”
He was right, I wasn’t. At least not now that Emily was pouring her heart out to my sister.
“It was the best experience of my life, it was just incredible. Make sure you enjoy every minute of it,” Emily gushed, her eyes soft and warm.
“I’m not sure everyone would agree.” Natalie laughed. “Isn’t it supposed to be the worst pain you’ll ever experience?”
“It is, I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. It was the worst imaginable pain; you get to a point where you feel like you can’t physically take any more of it. But you do, you have to.”
I felt my pulse quicken as the image of Emily writhing in agony clouded my head. I wondered briefly who was there for her, who did she have to support her through it? And I found myself wishing once more that it could have been me. I wished I had known her then. I wished I could have held her hand as she brought another life into the world. And I wished, more than anything, that that other life could have been
mine
. Wow, I never thought I’d be wishing for
that.
“And yet you describe it as an incredible experience?” Natalie gawped at Emily, grinning just ever so slightly. She was clearly confused, or possibly disturbed, by their line of conversation.
“Because the second your baby is placed onto your chest, the pain is gone, you don’t even give a second thought to how tired you are, or how much your body aches. All you care about is that bundle that’s now in your arms,
your
little bundle. And the relief...there aren’t even any words to describe that feeling. It’s...overwhelming.”
Wow!
I felt a sting at the corner of my eye as I listened to Emily. I had never wanted children, I had always thought I couldn’t trust myself to be a responsible parent, I was too selfish and I had never had a decent role model growing up, so how exactly could I expect to be one? But, the way Emily described it, with so much passion and emotion pouring from her just with a few words, her eyes alive and gleaming. I wanted to be the one to give her that. I wanted to share that joy with her, to look into a baby’s eyes and feel nothing but overwhelming love -
our
baby’s eyes. I shook my head, now amazed by the direction of my thoughts, and refilled my wine glass.
“You okay?” Emily squeezed my thigh. “You look a bit pale.”
“Yes, I’m fine. Are you?” I replied, placing my hand over hers and holding it tightly. She didn’t need to know that my own thoughts were capable of scaring the shit out of me.
“Yeah,” she said. She paused and raised her brows swiftly whilst inhaling deeply, making me assume that she was overwhelmed by her memories. “This is the first time I’ve been around a pregnant woman since Maia. It kind of brings it all back.”
“In a good way?”
“Yes, definitely a good way. I can’t believe that was nearly four years ago.”
“I wish I had have known you then,” I told her as I stared into her deep, revealing eyes.
“Trust me, you don’t.”
“The way you talk about it, it’s....mesmerising. Maybe I’ll get to experience it with you one day.”
Shit
, my last comment was a step too far judging by the look that now masked Emily’s face. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open as she looked back at me. She didn’t reply.
“Relax, I’m kidding,” I assured.
I wasn’t kidding, I was serious. I had no idea how, or why, but I wanted it.
Emily’s widened eyes narrowed into a frown and she raised her glass to her mouth, pouting her perfect lips as she drew in a large mouthful of wine. I watched her throat as it flexed with her deep swallow and wondered briefly how I could possibly keep my hands off her in bed tonight. That was going to be an incredible test of my self control, one that I wasn’t sure I could pass.
I startled as the sharp buzz of the intercom sounded. Who the hell was that at this time of the evening? I acknowledged Natalie’s questioning glance before striding across the room and reaching for the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Good evening, Mr Scott. Sorry to bother you but there is a woman in the foyer who is demanding to see you, shall I send her up?”
“What woman?”
“Goes by the name of Eva Williams.”
Ah God! What was she doing here?
“Send her up.”
I groaned loudly as I pushed my forehead against the wall. As much as I loved the woman, she was a pain in the arse, quite frankly.
“Who is it?” Natalie called.
“Bloody Eva,” I replied, sounding as pissed as I felt. If Eva was showing up unannounced, I was certain she wouldn’t be looking for a cosy chat.
“Eva? Why is she here?”
“I have no idea. Maybe mum?”
“No, they would have called me.”
“Then I guess we’re about to find out.”
Inhaling deeply through my nostrils, I opened the door wide and held out my arms. “Eva, how are you?” I tried my best to sound convincing as I acted as though I was pleased to see her. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze.
“I’ll be better once I’ve talked some sense into you, you ignorant swine!” She pushed against my chest, effectively freeing herself from my grasp and tottered past me, her stiletto heels clicking loudly against the wooden floor. “Natalie, darling. How are you?” Her smile beamed as she spotted Natalie on the sofa.
Natalie stood swiftly and rushed forwards to plant a soft peck on Eva’s cheek. “Really good thanks. What brings you here?”
“That insensitive pig brings me here. I heard about your mother, Julian. And yet you still haven’t visited.” Her scrutinising eyes peered over the top of her thick rimmed glasses as she addressed me. She looked pissed.
“I’m visiting tomorrow, Eva. It’s all arranged.”
“You’re visiting? Tomorrow?” Her mouth gaped open momentarily before she quickly snapped it shut and straightened her features.
“Yes. Would you like a drink, as you’re here?” I offered as I took a large wine glass from the cupboard, already knowing what her answer would be.
“How do I know you’re not just saying that to shut me up?”
“I guess you don’t, you’ll just have to trust me. White wine okay?” I shot a wide smile in her direction. She never could resist my charm. I had always been able to wrap her around my little finger.
“Yes, fine. Trusting you isn’t always easy, Julian,” she said, her voice suddenly sounding much softer. The angelic smile had obviously worked; she was just being as stubborn as ever.
“He’s going tomorrow, like he said,” Natalie interrupted. “I’ve called and arranged it today.”
Eva nodded, looking pleased by Natalie’s confirmation.
“As your here, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.” I glanced across to Emily who appeared to be looking at anything but the woman in front of her. Her brows lowered into a frown as her gaze met with mine, her eyes questioning.
I handed Eva a full glass and strode to where Emily still sat, nervously fingering a loose tendril of hair that had escaped from the heap on top of her head. Taking her hand, I encouraged her up to stand at my side. “Emily, this is my aunt, Eva.” I gestured towards Eva with a single hand. Eva watched me over the rim of her glass as she held it at her lips, her eyes narrowed as she studied me. “Eva, this is Emily. My fiancée.”
I startled slightly as a short burst of wine flew from my very sophisticated aunt’s mouth and sprayed over the floor, followed closely by a choking cough. I couldn’t suppress my laughter as I watched her cheeks redden as she wiped at her chin with the back of her perfectly manicured hand. My shoulders were shaking violently before I noticed the not so subtle elbow jabbing me in the ribs.
“Julian, stop it,” Emily whispered as her own cheeks glowed with humiliation.
“Did you just say fiancée?” Eva choked, her voice husky.
“I did indeed. Emily has agreed to become my wife.” I beamed, unable to hide the wide smile that I could feel stretching my cheeks.
“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone! Why didn’t I know?”
I shrugged my shoulders dramatically as Eva glared at me before taking a more civilised mouthful of her wine.