“Please tell me you haven’t told him about her.”
“Of course I bloody haven’t! And I never would, she’s my daughter for Christ’s sake.”
Listening to her speak so normally, it was hard to imagine that she was in fact crazy. And she loved us both like any sane parent loves their children, that much was clear to me now. I don’t know how I ever expected her to tell my father about Natalie, of course she wouldn’t. She loves her.
“How the fuck did he find you?” I sneered through my tightly clenched jaw as I desperately tried to keep a hold on my anger.
“I have no idea, but I’m scared, Julian. He’s coming here, he told me.” She clutched at my leg again, but this time I didn’t flinch. Instead, I put my hand over hers and squeezed gently but stopped abruptly as I felt her bones through her thinning skin. Christ, didn’t they feed her in here?
“I won’t let him near you,” I heard myself promising and briefly wondered if those words had actually just come from my mouth. There I was, making promises that I had no idea I could keep. But I’d at least try. I had to. He destroyed her once before and I’d be damned if I was going to let him do it again.
“I need my mother’s medication and a list of doses and times.” I stood and approached the male nurse.
“I’m afraid that isn’t possible, sir.”
“You’ll do as I tell you or I’ll have your pathetic arse fired.”
“On what grounds, exactly?” He smirked, his tone cocky.
“On the grounds that one of you bastards has let out information about who is most likely your most threatened patient. Do you have any fucking idea what that means?” I roared, my fists clenching at my sides. The pulsing in my ears had started already and I knew if this bastard smirked at me once more I was going to lose it. “And not to mention the fact that he called her. Here! Where she is supposed to be safe!”
“Sir, with all due respect, what would you want with her meds?” The female nurse asked in a kind voice.
“I’m taking her somewhere else. Now please, get me her meds and the list or I’ll take her without it.” That was a scenario I certainly did not want to play out.
“You can’t take her, sir. She is a mentally ill patient and she needs twenty four hour supervision.”
“She’ll get her supervision, just not here. I’m running out of patience now, are you getting the meds or are we leaving without them?”
“I’ll get my supervisor. You can discuss it with him,” the far-too-sure-of-himself male announced whilst raising his brows at me. Was he smirking at me again? Was that a slight grin I could see playing across his thin lips? Before I could even answer my own questions my hand flew out and gripped his throat, my fingers crushing into what I knew were his pressure points as I rammed him hard against the solid door.
“I don’t have time for a cosy chat with your supervisor, now get me the fucking meds before I break your bastard neck,” I snarled through gritted teeth.
“I see you inherited some of my traits.” My mother’s delighted voice startled me. “Careful, son, they’ll be locking you up in here soon.” She laughed a childish giggle before prancing around the room behind me, doing what exactly I didn’t know, I could feel her movement but I couldn’t see her. “That’s right, you get my meds you fucking ponce. That’s my son, that is, and he’s going to take care of me now.”
The fucking hell I am. She would be in another secure ward before the evening was out; I just had to figure out which one.
“I can’t get you the meds,” the male choked as he looked at me through desperate eyes.
“I’ll get them,” the female spoke. “If we don’t get them he’ll leave without them, we have to think of what’s best for Gloria.”
The female nurse left the room to collect my mother’s medication, I assumed, and I called Natalie instructing her to meet me, with Ryan, at the nearest service station. Surely I could control her in the car for a while by myself. I made a mental note to hide any sharp objects, or any objects at all for that matter.
Keep her sweet
, I told myself,
she’ll be fine
.
“Hi, Doctor Morgan. I need a little help with an urgent matter,” I began whilst placing my mother’s personal belongings into a large bag.
After little persuasion with a large sum of money Dr Morgan assured me he would find the very best of private care homes, preferably close to my home in Mayfair, and would be in touch within the hour with the name and address. Thank God. My mother agreed to swallow her medication as soon as the female nurse returned. I had half expected her to return with an army of guards, but she didn’t.
“See ya, ponce.” My mother pinched at the male’s cheek as we passed him in the doorway and I couldn’t help but grin at the expression on his face. Dick.
As soon as we got to the main exit I clasped a firm hand around my mother’s arm, just in case she tried to flee or something, although why would she?
“Are we going to the park?”
“No, Mum, were going to take you someplace nice where they’ll take good care of you,” I said, guiding my mother through the small car park.
“You mean another prison?”
“It’s not a prison, it’s a hospital.”
“But I’m not hurt, I don’t need a hospital, darling.”
“Mum, you need someone who can take care of you, somewhere you’ll be safe.”
“I’m safe with you, aren’t I?” I looked down into her eyes as she peered up at me and saw nothing but confusion and pain. “Or aren’t I?” she snapped, yanking her arm away from my grasp.
“Of course you are, why do you think I’m taking you away from here? Get in the car.”
“But you won’t let me stay with you?”
“Mother, if I could then I would, but you need proper care, you must understand that,” I soothed, feeling anxious all of a sudden as I realised she seemed dangerously close to snapping. And if she snapped now I had no chance of getting her to the next hospital, no chance whatsoever.
“Come on, Mum. We’re going to meet Natalie.”
“Natalie? You mean Isabella?” Her face brightened as her tensed jaw relaxed. Isabella, of course, was Natalie’s birth name, I hadn’t even noticed until now that my mother still addressed her as Isabella. She was Natalie now; she had been for a very long time. And, for some reason, I couldn’t even bring myself to call her Isabella anymore.
“Yes, let’s go.” I opened the car door and held onto her hand to assist her as she climbed in. She really was dangerously thin. Her long flowing skirt swamped her tiny frame and I caught a glimpse of her bony ankles as she adjusted into her seat. God, what had they been doing to her? How could I have left her there for all these years without even giving her a second thought? Did they not even own a pissing hairbrush? If they did, they certainly didn’t use it on her.
Natalie and Ryan were already waiting as I pulled into the dimly lit car park of the service station. Natalie rushed to my window before I even had the chance to stop the car. “What the hell is going on? Why do I need to be here?” she yelled. Of course, I had told her she needed to meet me and stressed the fact that she must bring Ryan, but I hadn’t told her why.
“We’ve got a bit of a problem.” I winced slightly as I waited for her to notice the problem and realised I was holding my breath as my lungs craved release.
“Is it mum? Oh God, what’s happened?”
“Hello, Isabella,” my mother’s gentle voice trilled from beside me as she leaned forwards into Natalie’s direct line of sight.
Natalie sucked in a sharp breath. “Julian, what the fuck is going on?”
“I’ll explain later, right now we need to get Mum somewhere safe.”
“She
was
safe! Why the hell have you taken her out? You have no idea what you’re doing,” she shrieked, tears pooling in her widened eyes.
“Natalie, Dad’s out. He called her.”
Her eyes widened even further as she gawped at me in sheer shock, terror written all over her face as her bottom lip trembled.
“Hey, he won’t come near you, Natalie, I promise you that.”
Dr Morgan phoned back within five minutes of us being in the car park and gave me the address of a secure care home about ten minutes drive from home. He had called ahead and informed them of our arrival and I was assured her safety would be paramount.
Natalie chatted to Mum to keep her entertained while I drove and Ryan followed behind, just in case. Ryan had made some calls on my behalf and arranged for my security to be on site of my mother’s new ward at all times which made me feel slightly better. I trusted my security team with my own life, I knew they were the absolute best that money could buy, but more than that, they were my friends. They respected me and they wanted to help me, and not just for the hefty sum of money they got at the end of it.
Fuck, Emily! I had completely forgotten to call her. She was expecting me over an hour ago. “Natalie, can you dial Emily and put it on speaker?”
Natalie reached forward and placed her phone on the cradle beside me and I startled as Emily’s voice bellowed out from the car speakers. “Hello.”
“Natalie, put your bloody seat belt on,” I ordered.
“What?” Emily’s voice sounded loudly, and this time my mother nearly leapt out of her seat. Shit, how do I turn this thing down?
“Who’s saying that? Who’s there?" my mother called, her hands grasping at the door as if trying to escape. Shit, she was trying to escape.
“Mum, no! It’s okay!” I shouted whilst fumbling with the volume on the stereo hoping that it would adjust the phone volume. “Natalie, sort her out.”
“Julian? What’s going on?” Emily’s voice sounded once more sending my mother to the verge of a breakdown. I watched as her fingers grasped at the arm rest on the door and just prayed that she wouldn’t find the handle before I had found a safe place to pull over.
“Emily, sorry, just don’t speak for a second. Don’t say a word. It’s okay, I’m turning it down.”
“What? Why? What’s wrong?”
Goddammit! As Emily’s voice echoed out my mother let out a shrieking wail, her eyes revealing her sheer panic as she grasped at the handle and the door flew open.
“Mum, no!” I heard Natalie cry as my hand shot out to secure my mother to her seat. I pulled the car to a stop at the side of the road, ignoring the horns from the surrounding vehicles, and Natalie leapt out and raced around to the passenger seat where my mother was trembling and sobbing hysterically as she raked her fingers through her hair.
“You fucking idiot!” Natalie screeched as her glare burned into my face.
“Julian?”
Shit, Emily. I grabbed the phone off the cradle and clicked the speaker off. “Emily, sorry about that.”
“Julian, what the hell? Are you okay?” Emily sounded frantic; her voice was laced with panic.
“I’m fine, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. We’ve had a bit of a problem with my mother.”
“Oh God, she didn’t hurt you did she? I’m so sorry,” she gushed.
“No, nothing like that. I’m taking her to another hospital, I’ll explain later but I won’t be back for some time so don’t wait up.”
“Okay. Is everything alright?”
“It will be.”
“Well it sounds like you have your hands full so I’ll let you go. I love you.”
“And I love you. Sweet dreams, baby,” I almost whispered as the realisation that I was going to have to spend the entire night without Emily hurt more than I thought possible. “Oh, and Emily,” I quickly gushed before she hung up.
“Yes?”
“Kiss Maia goodnight for me.”
It was past ten by the time I managed to stop my mother fighting with every nurse in sight and get her settled safely into the protection of her room. The care staff had all been very welcoming and it seemed, in the short while I was there, that they couldn’t have done enough for us which was a relief. The first thing I had requested was a hairbrush and I actually hadn’t minded the contact as I pulled it gently through her tangles.
“Thank you, Julian,” she had whispered in a frail voice that was broken by her tears.
And that was the moment I realised how much I loved this woman and what a bastard I had been for the past twelve years. I always knew in my heart that it would only take a single visit for me to be back under her grasp again, that was precisely why I had refused to see her for so long. If I didn’t see her, it was easy for me pretend that she didn’t exist. I could tell myself that I hated her. All I had to do was remember the hatred behind her menacing eyes that day when she attacked me, and I wouldn’t even have to pretend. My hate for her would surge through me as if it had happened just yesterday. That’s how I had managed to ignore her existence for the last twelve years. I must have played that same scene out in my head over a thousand times to keep me from going to her. If she was in my life, it was far too easy for her to hurt me. For her to completely and utterly destroy me, the same way she had the last time I saw her. And it scared the goddamn life out of me. I was fuming with myself for giving in to her so easily, for putting myself on the frontline for her impending torture. But, it was too late now. There was no turning back. I had seen her. I had seen her looking far worse than I could ever have imagined and my heart had screamed at me to help her. Now, she was in. And I wouldn’t shut her out again. I don’t think I could if I tried.
As I climbed back into the cold car all I could think about was Emily, my head filled with images of her warm body pressed against me, my senses craving her touch, her sweet smell. I pulled my phone from my pocket, 10.34pm. I wondered if she might still be awake.
‘You still up?’
I pressed send and clutched my phone in my hand as I awaited a reply. Within seconds it came and I let out an audible sigh of relief.
‘Of course I am, I’m worried sick! Are you okay?’
‘I’ll be there in ten.’
The simple ten minute drive to Emily’s apartment seemed to take forever, and I must admit I drove a little faster than necessary. This was possibly the longest I had been away from Emily since I met her and honestly, it was painful.
I tapped gently on the door and as soon as it opened I threw my arms around Emily and inhaled deeply as I nuzzled my nose in her hair. She smelled incredible of her usual berries and vanilla and that extra scent that I still couldn’t place. It was a good job Samantha hadn’t answered as I didn’t even pause for long enough to look at her before she was in my embrace. That could have been awkward.