Natalie and I had never had a mountain of presents on Christmas morning; we usually just got one from our parents. In fact, we didn’t really do much for Christmas at all at home. The last Christmas Day I remember with both parents consisted of a single present each, not even wrapped, and placed on the table under a pre-decorated three-foot tree. I can’t even remember what the present was. Despite the fact my father made a hell of a lot more money than most; he had never taken kindly to my mother spending it, especially on us. My mother wasn’t even allowed to buy a turkey, ‘they can’t charge that fucking price just because it’s Christmas. They can shove their pissing turkey up their arse’, I could recall my father saying. So, my mother had cooked fish fingers and oven chips for me and Natalie, and then sent us to bed. We didn’t even get any ketchup with it, even though she knew we hated them without it. As soon as we were safely out the way, I could hear the banging and clattering that meant my mother was cooking dinner for herself and my father. Before long, my room had filled with the delicious aroma of roasted chicken and potatoes, and I remember hating her for it. Was it too much to ask for, for just one day of the year, to have a family meal together. I don’t ever recall eating a meal with all four of us at the table. My father couldn’t stand to see, or hear, us eat. I had once crunched my apple a little too loudly in front of my father and I promptly got a TV remote thrown at my head to punish me for my mistake. The remote missed me, by less than a centimetre, but that was beside the point.
I couldn’t wait to see Maia’s face when she saw this amount of gifts under a huge sparkling tree. I couldn’t wait to sit together around a table filled with real Christmas food. I couldn’t wait to pull Christmas crackers and wear silly hats whilst reading ridiculously lame jokes. This was the first year I could ever recall feeling excited about Christmas. I couldn’t wait. Emily really was the kind of mother that any child would wish for. She adored Maia and did everything she could to make her happy. It was clear to see that she loved nothing more than seeing her daughter smile.
“Maybe a little while longer won’t hurt.” Emily grinned as I joined her in the living area before flashing me
that
smile.
Within a matter of seconds, Emily was stripped to her underwear and panting beneath me on the sofa as I struggled with my belt. My mouth moved greedily over hers as her fingers raked at my back and pulled me closer. I heard a soft groan in her throat and almost growled in response. I wanted to worship her, to taste every inch of her smooth skin, but I don’t think I could stop myself from tearing off her underwear for much longer if she continued to make those cute little moans. Those same moans that seemed to completely possess me. I lost all sense of composure when those sexy little noises revealed themselves.
I startled at the loud bang that filled the quiet room and Emily let out a squeal as she tried to cover herself. I twisted my head around to face the door but kept my body firmly in place. At least I could cover some of her modesty and I’d be damned if I was going to let whoever the fuck had just let themselves into my apartment see my fiancée practically naked.
“Ryan, what the fuck?”
Something was obviously very wrong judging by the sombre expression on Ryan’s face, not to mention the fact that he had just let himself into my apartment, but I couldn’t move.
“Sorry, I did knock. Natalie’s been calling you!” Ryan said, the urgency in his tone proving my first thought to be right. Something was wrong.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Oh God, was it the baby?
Please don’t let it be the baby
, I silently begged, that would destroy Natalie. I wasn’t sure I could bear to see my baby sister go through something as heartbreaking as that.
“You need to come now, it’s your mum. I’ll wait outside.” He disappeared back through the door, closing it behind him.
Fuck! What was wrong with my mum? A little more information would have been appreciated.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I pressed my lips to Emily’s forehead before climbing off her and refastening my belt.
Emily looked panicked. Her wide eyes were showing nothing but worry and concern as she hastily pushed her legs back into her jeans.
“Wait here, I’ll call you when I know what’s going on,” I ordered as I grabbed my keys and shoved them into my pocket.
“No way, I’m coming with you.” She jumped up from the sofa and followed me to the doorway whilst still shrugging herself into her jacket. I guessed she wasn’t going to take no for an answer so I took her hand in mine and led her out of my apartment.
After seeing Emily safely into the back of Ryan’s awaiting car, I climbed into the front beside Ryan, slamming the door loudly. “What the hell is going on?”
“Your dad has been in contact again, your mum hasn’t taken to it well. Natalie’s there now but no one can calm her down. I thought it’d be best to get you.”
“Fuck,” I hissed as the car pulled out into the busy line of traffic, my stomach twisting painfully as dread began to creep over me. Had my mother done something, had she harmed someone?
Ryan pulled up outside the entrance to my mother’s hospice and I flew out of the car, closely followed by Emily. It was kind of warming to see just how concerned she was for my mother who she barely knew. A flustered looking nurse with thick grey curls spiralling out from under a small cap practically ran through the doorway as we made up the steps to the front entrance. “Mr Scott, you must come quickly,” she gushed. “We’re very sorry; we just don’t know how this could have happened.”
How
what
could have happened? Why would nobody just give a simple explanation to what the fuck was going on? “What exactly has happened?” I urged as we hurried down a long corridor.
“Mrs Scott seems to have been deeply upset. I should warn you, she’s threatening to harm herself. We can’t get close enough to her without risking her safety; we fear if we try, she’ll do something terrible.” The nurse spoke through panting breaths, glancing up at me through uncertain eyes as if gauging my reaction to her words.
“Do something terrible? Surely she can’t hurt herself here?”
“She has a broken glass bottle and is threatening to cut herself.”
My stomach sank.
“How the fuck did she get a glass bottle in the first place? You all knew exactly what she was like when I bought her here,” I roared as the panic set in, crushing me from the outside in. I had quickened my pace to a jog now as we rounded the last corner to the corridor where my mother’s room was. My stomach twisted with dread and I felt physically sick as I silently prayed that I wasn’t too late.
“I don’t know how we didn’t see it, but it was in with the supplies you brought her earlier today. A bubble bath bottle.”
How the hell did I not see that? How could I not have noticed?
“Oh my God.” I heard Emily’s gasp and turned briefly to see her pained expression. Tears were pooling in her eyes once more as she stared at me hopelessly, desperately.
“It’s okay, you weren’t to know. I should’ve noticed,” I assured, reaching for her hand and squeezing it within mine.
Now I thought about it, I could clearly picture the luxurious looking blue bottle of bath essence that Emily had insisted on making me sniff. Fenjal, I remembered reading at the top of the heavy glass bottle. What an idiot, how could I have missed it?
The door to my mother’s room was slightly ajar so I pushed it slowly, taking care not to startle her. Natalie was across the room from her, sobbing and begging for her to put the bottle down.
“I won’t let him hurt me again!” my mother shrieked.
Her entire body was shaking visibly. I looked at her and saw the same agonising fear that I had seen many times when I was a child. Her frail, trembling hand held tightly onto a sharp and broken piece of the blue bottle as she pressed the longest point against her neck. If I moved towards her, tried to disarm her, I was certain that that bottle would be slicing something, whether it be her own throat or mine. She hadn’t flipped yet, she was still in control, I could tell by her tone of voice and her saddened eyes. Her eyes were still soft. When she turned, there was no mistaking it. She was like a completely different person, she spoke differently, she even looked different, and her eyes turned hard and cold, almost as if she wasn’t really there at all. I was confident that she was still herself for now, but had no idea how long that was going to last.
“Natalie, go outside,” I whispered quietly, in the hope that only she could hear, whilst keeping my eyes locked firmly on my mother’s hand.
“I’m not leaving her!”
I reached across slowly and took Natalie’s hand in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Listen to me, I won’t let her hurt herself, but please Natalie, don’t put that life in danger,” I begged. Natalie knew exactly what I meant without me actually having to say the word ‘baby’, and she left the room without another word. I could hear Emily’s voice as soon as Natalie left and could just about make out the word sorry as she said it over and over. But it wasn’t Emily’s fault, it was mine. She was my mother and I knew of the danger, yet I had failed to see it.
“Mum, it’s okay, I’m not going to let him hurt you,” I soothed as softly as I could manage under the circumstances.
“He can’t hurt me if I’m not here to hurt. I’m sorry, Julian. I can’t be here.”
I watched the skin of her neck whiten as she applied more pressure with the bottle and my heart seemed to lunge into action, pounding hard against my chest. “Stop,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “I won’t let him hurt you. Tell me what he said.”
“He wants Isabella.”
“Why? Why does he want Isabella?”
“I don’t know,” she screamed. “If I don’t tell him where she is then he’ll make me. You know my mind, Julian, I could tell him without even meaning to. I can’t risk that.” She pressed harder again and I saw a glint of red as the glass pierced her skin at the side of her throat.
I had to do something. I couldn’t let her do this, and I certainly couldn’t watch it. I took two steps closer to her.
“Stay away,” she screeched. “I don’t want to hurt you, Julian, but you know I can’t always control myself. Stay back.”
“I’m not going to let you hurt yourself!” I roared as I took another step closer.
As soon as I moved she took the glass away from her own throat and held it out towards me, as if in an act of protection. Her eyes glowered at me as her chest expanded with what looked like a deep breath. “I said stay back,” she snarled. And I stopped abruptly.
Her voice had changed altogether. She no longer sounded like a desperate mother trying to protect her daughter by sacrificing herself, but like a deranged lunatic. Her tone was chilling, sending a shudder down the length of my spine. I took a second to study her eyes. They had glassed over, and were now cold and completely blank. Completely empty of any emotion. She had flipped. My mother had gone and in her place stood some sort of demon who only intended to do harm. How could she change so quickly? I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around it. There was no way I was getting near her without one of us ending up seriously injured, that much was clear to me now.
“You’re not thinking straight, put the bottle down,” I pressed, my voice revealing my desperation. I had no idea how to snap her back to reality. Only now, I wished I had stuck around to try, at least just once.
Her eyes narrowed and she took an unsteady step towards me, still pointing the shard in my direction. “You never listen.” Her words were almost a growl as she took another shuffling step towards me.
She was ready to attack, I could see it in her eyes, and I could hear it in her voice. I had to do something, and fast, but I didn’t know what to do. I could lunge myself at her and tackle her to the ground, but with her weapon pointing directly at my throat, I was sure that wasn’t a good idea. She took another step towards me, one more step and the glass wouldn’t be far from touching me. I tore my eyes away from hers and turned slightly to scan the room for anything I could use to knock the bottle from her hand, that way no one would get hurt and I was sure she wouldn’t see it coming. I couldn’t see a single thing of any use. I looked down at her feet, trying to avoid her haunting eyes, and tried to measure her distance from me. I thought maybe I could kick the glass from her hand, just one swift movement that she wouldn’t have anticipated. But my legs were too long, and she was too close. There wasn’t even a chance that I could do it without injuring her face, her head.
A sudden movement snapped my attention back to where my mother stood and I saw Emily hurtling through the door. Straight towards my mother.
“Emily, no!” I heard myself scream.
In what must have been no longer than a second, Emily had crossed the room and was reaching for my mother’s hand. The hand that held the bottle. I threw myself forward in an attempt to position myself between the pair, but I was too late. I hadn’t moved quickly enough. It was all a blur, everything happened so quickly that I couldn’t seem to make any sense of it. I watched Emily slump to the floor on her hands and knees, just as I saw the thick and steady stream of dark red blood begin to pour from my mother’s neck.
What the fuck had just happened?
I caught a glimpse of the broken bottle on the floor beside my feet and kicked it to the far side of the room. “Help!” I couldn’t think of anything to say except that as I frantically switched my gaze from one injured body to the next as I tried to figure out which one was in need of immediate attention. My heart instantly cried out to Emily, but my head was telling me something different. My mother was losing a hell of a lot of blood, that much was obvious, and Emily was clutching at her stomach, still in a crouched position. Within seconds the room seemed to fill with people. I could hear the word ambulance being shouted but that was it, the rest was all a haze. I dropped to Emily’s side and encouraged her head upwards so I could see her eyes.
“I’m so sorry Julian,” she sobbed.
“Emily, what is it? Where are you hurt?” I couldn’t see anything that looked serious as my eyes frantically scanned over her body, but the grave look in her eyes told me otherwise. I followed her horrified gaze as she looked down and slowly pulled her hand away from her stomach.