My chest tightened and I gasped for breath when I saw the blood that now covered her hand and seeped through her fingers.
I paced up and down the waiting room in the hospital, unable to think straight as I faced the agonising wait while Emily was assessed by a doctor.
“How is she?” Samantha’s voice startled me as she flew through the door.
“Still haven’t heard anything. Where’s Maia?”
“She’s at home with Adrian and Michael. What the hell happened?”
“I’m sorry,” was all I could manage. The mere thought that I had taken Emily there, that I had allowed her to be stabbed by my own mother, was sickening enough without having to actually say it aloud.
I was vaguely aware of Natalie informing Samantha of the situation as I continued to pace back and forth, shoving a rough hand through my hair and occasionally tugging it painfully. Emily had to be okay, she
had
to be. I could never forgive myself if she wasn’t, and more importantly, I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. Fuck my mother. I couldn’t care less whether she lived or died. I had given her the second chance that she had always begged for and I had fallen for her apparent changed behaviour. Yet she had proven my fears to be right. How could she have done this?
“Julian, please sit down. She’ll be okay,” Natalie pressed.
“I don’t want to sit down,” I shouted, feeling my cheeks heat with the anger that surged through me. “And how could you possibly know if she’s going to be okay?”
I saw Natalie’s features contort as she seemed to be fighting against the tears that were pooling in her eyes. “I should’ve stopped her from coming in, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” No, it was nobody’s fault but my own. I should never have seen my mother in the first place, but I certainly shouldn’t have let Emily come with me. Especially when I knew she had flipped. What the fuck was I thinking? I knew what my mother was capable of. I had been on the receiving end of it. How the hell could I have let Emily in that building?
I heard the door open and twisted around to see a doctor entering. “How is Emily? What’s going on?”
“Miss Braxton is absolutely fine,” he began.
“Is she going to be okay?” I interrupted.
“She’s going to be just fine.” He smiled reassuringly. “The cut was nowhere near as deep as we had feared, just needed a few stitches. Mrs Scott is still being assessed; someone will be in shortly with an update.”
I felt every muscle in my body relax as the doctors words sank in. Emily was fine; she was going to be okay. The longing I felt for Emily at that moment felt as if it was crushing me from the inside out, every part of my being was crying out for her, aching for her.
“Where is Emily? I need to see her.” I wasn’t interested in waiting to hear if my mother was okay, all I knew was I couldn’t stand to be separated from Emily for a second longer. The past hour had been the most excruciatingly painful hour of my entire life. No beatings from my father, no amount of neglect from my mother could even compare to the agony I had felt today. It didn’t even come close.
The doctor led me to a room at the end of a long corridor and nodded silently as he opened the door before closing it behind me as I went inside. My heart pounded against my rib cage as I turned to face the bed where Emily lay.
“Hey.” She smiled as her eyes slowly flickered open.
My heart skipped when I heard her voice. I didn’t care what the doctor had said; I knew I would never have believed him until I saw her for myself. Her voice sounded slightly huskier than usual, but other than that you couldn’t tell that there was anything wrong. Her cheeks still flushed as she watched me walk to her side. I pressed a kiss against her forehead and breathed in deeply as I inhaled her scent.
“God, I love you,” I whispered as I pulled away and our eyes locked. “I’m so sorry, baby. How are you feeling?”
She smiled weakly, “I’m fine. A little sore but I’ll survive.” Typical Emily, she had every right to mope and feel sorry for herself, yet she soldiers on as if nothing happened.
“I’m so sorry, Emily. I don’t know what I was thinking taking you there, I don’t know what I would have done if...” I trailed off, unable to speak the words.
Emily’s head pulled back, further into her pillow, as she studied my face, her brows lowered into a deep frown. “You didn’t take me there, Julian, I insisted. You don’t need to apologise.”
“I should’ve stopped you.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. I’m fine, I’m okay and I’m glad I was there; I thought she was going to kill you. I was wondering whether to come in, and then I saw her press it into her neck. And I saw the blood, and you...you seemed to be looking for something and didn’t notice. I’m sorry I didn’t get to her sooner.” She shook her head lightly as her eyes closed. When she opened them again she was looking at me so intensely it was all I could do to stop myself from sweeping her off the bed and into my arms. So Emily had been trying to save my mother. I couldn’t make sense of it. The way I had seen it, my mother had stabbed Emily before hurting herself. My mother had already started bleeding when Emily rushed into the room. And I hadn’t even fucking noticed that?
“How is your mum?” she whispered, wincing slightly as if she was afraid of the answer.
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Her voice was suddenly laced with panic, as was her tense expression.
“The doctors haven’t finished with her yet. Let’s not talk about my mother right now.”
I allowed myself a few more minutes of my own with Emily before calling Samantha in. She had been frantic with worry and I was keen for her to see for herself that Emily was okay so she could get back home to Maia. I felt more comfortable knowing that Samantha was there with Adrian. Adrian, I knew could protect Maia, but men, in my opinion, were not as responsible as women when it came to children. I would much rather Samantha was there. What if he fed Maia too many sweets and made her sick? What if she choked on one of the sweets that he never failed to supply her with, would he know how to save her? Shit, I had to get Samantha back to her before I got any more carried away with my thoughts.
I had Ryan clear my meetings for the following day so I could spend the night at the hospital beside Emily. The doctor had said she should be fine to go home in the morning but would need to take it easy with the stitches, so I also warned him that I would most likely need my schedule clearing for at least the next week. That would give him something to stress over for the foreseeable future.
I awoke in the morning to Emily rolling to her side and wrapping her leg around my hips.
“Emily,” I whispered, trying not to fully wake her but just enough so that she was aware of her movement. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” I attempted to roll her back over but was unsure of where to put my hand without hurting her wound. She let out a quiet groan before flicking her eyes open and rolling slowly back onto her back. I hadn’t intended on sleeping in the bed with her, just long enough for her to fall asleep comfortably, but I guess that didn’t go to plan. I always slept soundly when I had Emily pressed against my body. Sometimes too soundly, it would seem.
“You okay?” I asked, fighting back a yawn as I stretched my arms above my head.
She smiled a sleepy smile. “Dying for a cuppa,” she mumbled.
“I’ll see if I can get you one.” I stood and straightened my t-shirt before slipping my shoes back on.
“Can you ring Sam for me? See if she can take Maia to nursery, I don’t want her knowing that anything’s wrong.”
“Of course, see you in a minute.” I kissed her lips deeply before turning and exiting the room. I headed straight for the reception desk to check if Emily was indeed allowed a cup of tea and was pointed to a small room with proper tea and coffee making facilities as opposed to the vile poison you get from a vending machine. I called Samantha and informed her of Emily’s request whilst the kettle bubbled and roared behind me.
“Mr Scott?” I heard just as I left the small room, carrying a cup of coffee in one hand and Emily’s tea in the other. I turned to see the same doctor that had treated Emily yesterday heading down the corridor towards me. “Have you seen your mother since the accident?” the doctor asked, his weathered face blanketed with concern. “She’s been asking for you.”
Oh, so she is alive then
.
“No, I’ve been with my fiancée. She’s okay then?” I had no idea why I felt the need to be polite and at least pretend that I was concerned, but for some reason I did. The truth was I didn’t really care. She had harmed the one person who I loved more than anyone or anything. I wasn’t sure I could forgive her this time.
“She’s very upset about what happened and wants to see you, but physically she’ll pull through. She lost a lot of blood, she’s weak and tired but she’ll get there.”
“Does she have the correct medication here or do I need to collect it? You know she’s crazy right?” I heard myself ask.
He smiled and his eyes warmed, his deep frown now smoothing away.“We have everything she needs; in fact, we were hoping you would agree to having her mental state reassessed, I believe a different type of medication could benefit her more.”
“Go ahead; the stuff she’s taking clearly isn’t working.” I smiled as politely as I could manage before slurping my coffee loudly and heading back to Emily’s room.
“Any news on your mum?” Emily asked before taking a tiny sip of her steaming tea.
“I’ve just seen her doctor, she’s okay.”
“You should go and see her, she’ll be upset.”
“How can you be so forgiving?” Emily never ceased to amaze me. Why would she care about my mother being upset after what she did to her?
“She didn’t mean to hurt me, Julian. I got in the way, it was my own fault.”
“Emily, she could have killed you for fuck’s sake. I’m not interested in my mother, she had her chance and she blew it. That’s the end of it,” I said, my stubborn side clearly deciding to make an appearance. I kept going over Emily’s version of events in my head, but I still couldn’t figure out how you could accidentally stab someone. I knew now that my mother hadn’t lunged at Emily and attacked her, like I had originally thought, but it didn’t make it any easier to wrap my head around.
“Hardly! It’s just a cut, Julian. She needs you. Please, promise me you’ll go and see her,” she begged, her eyes pleading with me as she grasped my hand and squeezed. “Please, for me.”
How could I say no to this woman? How she could possibly care about my mother’s feelings was beyond me, but the way she was looking at me, pleading with me, I couldn’t say no. I couldn’t let her down and leave her to worry and fret about my mother.
“Okay, I’ll go when Samantha comes; she’ll be here when she drops Maia off.”
“You wanted to see me,” I stated matter-of-factly as I stood at the end of my mother’s bed. As I looked up at her, I noticed one of her hands was cuffed to the bed frame. I hadn’t even realised there was a police officer in the corner of the room until his cough startled me.
“Don’t mind me,” he choked out before erupting into a full blown coughing fit. It’d be hard not to, I thought.
My mother simply stared at me. Her sad eyes were back and her bottom lip trembled slightly. She looked awful. Her skin was ghostly pale and one side of her neck was covered with a thick white dressing. I fought hard against the tightening in my chest. I wouldn’t feel sad for this woman, I couldn’t. Not after what she nearly took from me.
“Well?” I pressed as I drummed my foot nervously against the floor.
“I’m so sorry, Julian.” Her voice cracked on my name as a loud sob escaped. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“You seem to be saying that a lot, Mum.”
As my mother’s limp body shuddered with every sob, I watched awkwardly. I didn’t know what to do, what to say. I should be walking from the room and never looking back, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I felt an overpowering urge to go to her, to comfort her.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I asked in a soft voice as I moved to her side.
“I don’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt her, Julian. Please believe that. I couldn’t bear the thought of putting Isabella in danger. That was the only way out that I could see. But I never meant to hurt Emily. She just came at me from nowhere, I panicked and I wasn’t in control.”
I couldn’t sit here and listen to
how
she hurt Emily. Or
why
she did. I didn’t ever want to picture that moment again. And, seeing my mother so distraught was doing strange things to my heart.
“The doctor wants to assess you. He thinks a different medication may help,” I said, changing the subject.
“I’ll do anything. I’ll take anything. I don’t want to hurt people. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine.”
I spent the next half an hour or so at my mother’s bedside. I encouraged her to eat breakfast before taking her pills. The doctor I had spoken to earlier this morning came in and seemed happy to see me there. He told me that the psych team had been informed of the situation and they would be starting their assessment of her mental state this afternoon. He wasn’t convinced that this was a mental illness most probably caused by severe head trauma, and neither was I. I never had been. There must be more to it than that. She hadn’t been assessed since she was locked up about fifteen years ago; surely there were more recognised mental conditions now? Maybe she would finally get a diagnosis and proper medication. I suddenly felt a little hope. Maybe my mother would finally be able to live a normal, happy life. Maybe she would finally be free.
Emily was discharged at midday. As soon as we got back to my apartment, I gathered a couple of pillows and a quilt and set them up on the sofa for her.
“Here, you relax, I’ll make lunch.” I kissed her temple before gently coaxing her onto the makeshift bed.
“Julian, I’m not an invalid. It was just a scrape, I’m fine.”
“It was more than a scrape, Emily.”
“Oh barely. I’m fine, stop fussing.”
“Sit,” I ordered. “What do you fancy for lunch?” I asked as I started towards the kitchen.