“
I didn’t think you were coming back,” she mentioned.
He nodded but kept smiling. “I changed my mind. I canceled my flight.”
“
Oh.” Her stomach began to flutter with excitement. “You’re not leaving?”
“
No,” he said, “I got some things cleared up. I’ll be here for a couple more weeks, at least.”
She wasn’t sure what this meant, but was fairly sure it didn’t have anything to do with her, or Ethan. He had a life she knew nothing about. Issues on the ranch she couldn’t imagine.
But that annoying spark of hope came back and she had to press her lips together to keep from smiling.
“
Where’s Ethan?” he asked, striding forward to peak into the kitchen. “I thought I’d take him outside to play. Aw, crud, I left it in the truck.” He strode past her again leaving a scented trail of subtle cologne and his own unique, enticing scent.
With an aching chest, she watched him, wondering if he knew what he was doing, if he was sure what he really wanted.
Sam returned carrying a new red tricycle. He set it on the tile and rolled it across the foyer. “Nice and smooth,” he congratulated himself. Then he turned to smile at her, his gaze again dropping to the bleach stain. “I hope he doesn’t already have one. I know he doesn’t care a thing about clocks and keepsakes. He’s a kid, so I found him something fun. Think he’ll like it?”
“
We can see,” she said, staring at the tricycle. Images of Ethan driving the thing right off the porch steps immediately came to mind. She shut the door and went to look at the vehicle Sam had brought into her son’s life. “Is it safe?”
Sam laughed. “Safe? It’s a tricycle. This’ll strengthen his legs and teach him coordination. I noticed he runs a little lopsided, but this’ll clear that up, even out his strength in both legs. You’ve got the perfect track with that long paved driveway.”
“
Ethan runs just fine,” she informed him. But this wasn’t bad. It was time for him to grow up a little. “Just don’t let him ride it on the porch.”
“
No problem.” Sam gazed at her, looking especially shrewd, nodding slightly with Ethan’s frown. “We’ll keep it on the drive. It’s perfectly safe.”
Of course, he was right. Ethan probably faced greater danger every time he traveled up and down the stairs. “I’ll go get him.” And Brianna to supervise while Jenna freshened up.
“
Hey,” he said, stopping her. “Could I get a picture of him? For my wallet.”
“
Oh. Okay. I’ll find one later.”
“
Sure like that shirt you’re wearing,” he said.
And when she glanced back, she saw a wicked grin on his face.
Jenna showered and changed clothes then went outside and stood on the porch for a few minutes to watch before stepping down to join them. Ethan seemed to love his tricycle, and loved having Brianna and Sam fawn over him as he learned to pedal and steer at the same time.
Sam spotted her and came to greet her, his movements boisterous and jovial, reminding her of the old days, and without a word, only a smile, he closed his arm around her shoulders and hauled her forward to join the audience.
“
At first he could only push himself around with his feet on the ground,” Sam told her, “but once I showed him how the pedals work, he was off and running. He’s one bright kid.”
She tried not to react to the painful clench in her lower stomach and forced herself to pull away, burning beneath Brianna’s teasing grin - her shoulders still tingling from Sam’s touch. “He seems to be having fun.”
“
He loves it,” Sam said, beaming with pride. “He’s been all the way down to the elm and back. How ya doing, kiddo?”
“’
kay,” Ethan called back, riding in wide circles now. He looked up and his eyes brightened when he saw his mother standing among his adoring fans. “Mama!” he yelled.
“
I see you, sweetie,” she called back. “You’re doing so well. Be careful.”
Ethan sat up straighter and began to pedal evenly, only swerving the handlebars a little. Pepper ran alongside him, barking excitedly.
“
Natural athlete,” Sam announced, stepping forward to kick a golf ball-sized rock off the drive, out of Ethan’s way. “He gets that from me.”
“
Don’t go too far!” Jenna called after her little athlete. She crossed her arms and tried to stay calm. “Don’t ride too fast,” she said more to herself since Ethan was out of earshot. “Shouldn’t he have a helmet and some padding?”
“
On a tricycle?” Sam scoffed, taking an extra moment to laugh at her before jogging after Ethan.
“
He’s only two,” she told Brianna. “If he fell off he could hit his head. He’s going too fast.”
Brianna shrugged, knowing better than to become involved. “He hasn’t fallen yet and he was climbing all over it before.”
“
I think Sam wants him to grow up too fast,” Jenna continued. “He doesn’t understand Ethan’s still just a baby.”
Again, Brianna shrugged. They watched Sam pick up Ethan, tricycle and all, and turn him back in the direction toward home, giving the seat a send-off with the toe of his boot. Then he walked alongside as Ethan peddled at a leisurely pace, periodically grinning up at Sam.
The sight made Jenna’s insides melt and she had to cross her arms against the chill of the sun. As always with Sam, conflicting emotions and thoughts dazed her as she watched Sam entertaining her son. He was so natural with children. He was an optimist, always ready with a smile or pleasantry. She’d never seen him become unreasonably angry or impatient. Even the day she’d told him about Ethan he’d been more surprised than upset. He was still here, still trying, seeming ready to be Ethan’s father.
And what if Sam stayed? Ethan would grow up loving a father like him.
Her thinking hadn’t been careless, she decided. Sam was just plain confusing. He wouldn’t behave like the man who had used and abandoned her.
Maybe he really had changed. She wanted to believe so.
“
He’s trying,” she said to her sister. “He’s still here. I can’t believe it. Look at them together. Why is he still here?”
“
I like him,” Brianna said. “He’s fun. And super hot.” But her gaze grew hard suddenly, her back straightened. “I talked to Chelsea and her brother has to pay over eight hundred a month and Sam’s way behind. He owes you like, nineteen thousand dollars.”
“
Those figures are based on income, I think,” Jenna answered, a little annoyed her sister was the one being practical. “I doubt Sam makes as much as Chelsea’s brother. And I can’t ask him to pay for the years before he even knew about Ethan. That was my fault. Stop talking to people about my business.”
Bri only glanced at Jenna as she turned away. “Hot or not he has to pay up. Don’t wimp out, again.”
Brianna jogged up to the house and Jenna watched Sam and her son wondering why she couldn’t bring herself to press the subject of child support with Sam. He should have to pay and she needed the help.
She hated the notion of having to rely on him, or anyone. Her father had raised her to be tough, independent, and self-reliant. He’d told her again and again not to depend on anyone but herself if she wanted to succeed in life. She didn’t want to depend on Sam.
Sam came to stand beside her as Ethan rode the tricycle on up to the circular drive. He’d never looked so handsome, eyes sparkling and hair shining in the bright sunshine. She’d never felt quite so close to him as she did sharing parental duties.
Sam pointed at Ethan and grinned. “I knew he’d love it.”
Her son did love having his own vehicle. So much, he screamed and kicked and threw a monster temper tantrum when it came time to get off so she could let him rest up before supper.
Jenna left Sam downstairs to take Ethan upstairs for a quick bath and a change of clothes. He’d sweated through his clothes and was soaking wet.
“
Hey,” Sam called when she’d almost reached the top step. “Thank you.”
“
For what?”
Suddenly his eyes had turned serious, he placed his hand on the newel post and one foot on the bottom step as if he wanted to follow her, but wouldn’t.
He nodded toward Ethan. “For giving me the best gift anyone ever could have given me. He’s amazing.”
His words startled her so much she was afraid she’d stumble on the stairs with Ethan in her arms. She gripped her son tightly with one arm and the handrail with a tight fist and finished the trip up to flat ground. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t look back at Sam. She couldn’t find any thoughts to respond.
So she left him at the bottom of the stairs, his words of gratitude hanging in the air.
***
While Jenna dealt with Ethan upstairs, Sam loitered nervously downstairs, wondering if he could really go through with it. Wondering if this might be a huge mistake.
Jenna was the mother of his child. He had no choice but to marry her.
An argument had broken out before he’d left Jack’s place. Crystal and Becky claimed Sam needed to be a father to Ethan, a real father, not just a name on a check. He needed to buck up and be a man, they told him. Boone had gone on about Sam making sure he really was the boy’s father before he got too involved. And Frankie worried he’d do what he usually did. Lead people on with promises and big ideas, and then back out once he felt pressured.
By the time Sam had left, he’d been ready to head straight to the airport. But something had held him back, kept him from driving toward Nashville. He kept imagining the look of disappointment on Jenna’s face when she discovered he’d abandoned her again. The look of hatred he could imagine on a teenaged Ethan’s face whenever anyone mentioned his absent father. And the idea he might end up like Jack, hiding out in his room, miserable because he hadn’t had the guts to fight for a better life.
Instead of going to the airport, he’d found himself at the mall, wandering around a jewelry store, and then at a toy store, searching for just the right gift.
He’d realized he actually wasn’t afraid of being a father. He liked kids and kids liked him. He’d always imagined having children of his own someday.
It was the husband-thing that sent him into a panic.
The fear in his gut burned but he’d determined himself to ignore it and bite the bullet. He was sick of giving in to fear. And Becky had assured him the fear would go away once the decision was made. Besides, hadn’t he known from the first moment he saw Jenna she was special? Hadn’t he spent the last three years dreaming about her? Didn’t he lose his breath every time he saw her? Yes, yes, and yes.
She was the one. No doubt about it.
Then why did he keep eyeing the bathroom door, worried he might upchuck?
Was he afraid she would refuse, or afraid she would accept? Both. He was also eyeing the front door, worried he might do a runner.
He ducked into the bathroom beneath the stairs and splashed water on his face, then took a good look at himself. He didn’t want to live an empty, lonely life. He didn’t want to spend his days watching his son from a distance as he grew into a man.
“
Just do it,” he told the worried eyes in the mirror.
Now the biggest hurdle would be getting Jenna out of the house alone.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath before climbing.
He’d seen the bedrooms before during his first exploration, when he’d raced to find Jenna’s room and leave the owl clock on her bed. Her room had been neat and comfortable, personal items lined up on her dressers, photographs framed on the walls, and some of Ethan’s toys pilled on a chair.
Taking the wide hallway, he knocked on the closed door, under the big sign announcing in colorful letters,
Brianna’s Room. Private Property!
He kept an eye on the room down the hall where he could hear his son still fussing.
Brianna opened the door and gawked as her gaze traveled up his chest to his face, her big blue eyes so wide he thought she might strain herself. A lightning fast hand flew up to smooth her hair and she forced a smile. “Oh. Hi.”
She looked a little like Jenna had three years ago. Not quite as tall as Jenna and her hair was a shade or two darker. Her eyes were larger, and far more innocent.
“
Can I talk to you for a minute?” he said. “It’s about Jenna.”
She blinked at him then opened the door wide. “Sure. Come on in.”
Brianna’s room was messy and colorful, covered in posters and knickknacks and dangly things.
He took a conscious step backward, knowing that wasn’t a good idea. Any conversation he had with Jenna’s younger sister needed to take place in a communal area. Just so there couldn’t be any misunderstandings. “How about we go downstairs?”
Brianna shrugged and blushed until her cheeks looked sunburned against her light, almost translucent skin. “Sure. Whatever.”
Jenna had skin like that, so sheer he could almost see right through it. So sheer he could often see the blue veins along her jaw and temple. So smooth and soft he woke from dreams aching to touch that skin. If he pulled this off, he wouldn’t have to lie awake alone in bed dreaming of Jenna’s warmth and softness. He would only have to turn over and pull her into his arms.