BoysLikeYou.indd (22 page)

I watched her shuffle down the sidewalk until she disap-

peared at the next block. When my uncle found me, I didn’t

have to say anything. I could tell he already knew.

I handed him his Coke and left him there.

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Gram found me on the porch, curled up on the settee, waiting

for Nathan. He and his uncle hadn’t come back after they’d

gone into town for supplies earlier, but he usually showed up

around now.

I was anxious to see him, which was crazy. I’d seen him at

noon when I’d taken him a cold drink, but seriously, it felt like days since his smile turned my insides to mush. Days since he

had kissed me until my head spun.

And now…now I sat and waited for a guy who had turned my

world upside down. A guy who had finally fixed some of the broken pieces inside me. A guy I was going to say good- bye to soon.

With a sigh, I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and

pushed those thoughts away. I didn’t want to think about the

end of something so good. Not yet anyway.

It was dusk, that sweet spot just before evening fell, and the

crickets chirped away, happy to play in the shadows now that

the sun was gone.

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I wore Nate’s
The
Cramps
T- shirt because I liked it and it smelled like him, which is what Gram caught me doing when

she walked out onto the porch. Like a nerd, my nose was buried

in the hem of his shirt and I let it fall, hoping she wouldn’t

notice the heat in my cheeks.

Gram walked over but stopped a few inches away, and as

soon as I looked up, I knew something was wrong. Her eyes

were sad, her mouth soft, and she had her hands clasped in front

of her as if she didn’t know what to do with them.

“Have you heard from Nate?” she asked quietly.

My heart sank.

Something
was
really
wrong.

“No.” I shook my head and got to my feet. “What’s going

on? Is he okay?”

Gram watched me closely for a moment and then sighed.

“Trevor Lewis has taken a turn, a bad turn, and the doctors don’t know if he’ll survive the night.”

“Oh my God, Gram.”

I fell back onto the settee and bent over, resting my hands on

my knees as I stared at the floor. This was bad. Really bad. This would break Nathan.

“And Nathan knows?”

“Yes, but no one has seen him since this afternoon.”

My head shot up at that. “What do you mean, no one has

seen him? Wasn’t he with his uncle?”

Gram nodded and sat down beside me, her warm arm around

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my shoulders as she pulled me in tight. “He was, but he was

upset when he learned the news and…”

“And what? His uncle thought it was okay to let him take off

alone? Doesn’t he know how screwed up Nathan’s head is?” I

jumped to my feet, my voice incredulous. “He blames himself,

Gram, and that kind of hurt isn’t good. That kind of hurt can

make you do crazy things.”

I slipped my feet back into my sneakers. “If Trevor dies…”

My voice trailed off as I thought of Nate, and the fear inside

me tripled.

“Do you think he would…” Gram paused, her hand over her

mouth. “Do you think he would hurt himself?”

“No! I mean, I don’t know.” God, I hope not.

I thought back to the year before. To a time when I had a

total disconnect from everyone. I knew what it felt like to think there was nothing…nothing that could make the pain go away.

And I knew how easy it was to consider a way out.

“I need to find him, Gram. Can I borrow the car?”

She nodded slowly and pulled the keys out of the pocket of

her light gray sweater. “Take your cell phone. I’ll let you know

if he shows up here.”

My mind was already racing ahead, wondering where he

could be. I started down the steps, nearly falling on my face as

I tripped over the last one, and I was halfway to the car before I pulled up cold.

My cell.

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I whipped it out and called him, but after three rings it went

to voicemail. I left a message asking him to text me or call me as soon as possible, and then I sent a text to Brent.

Have you heard from Nate?

He answered almost immediately.

No. You? The guys are worried. He’s not picking up his cell.

Shit. I slid into the car.

Me:
Let me know if you find him.

Brent:
Will do. His car is missing.

Me:
What? I thought he wasn’t supposed to drive.

Brent:
He’s not. His parents are freaking out.

I stared at the flickering screen and sent one last text.

Me:
Sorry to hear about Trevor.

Brent:
It’s so screwed up.

It was so much more than that. I gunned the car and hoped

like heck Gram wasn’t watching, because honestly, I barely

missed her prized geraniums as I barreled down the driveway

and headed for town.

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It was the only place I knew to go, but once I got there, I

wasn’t exactly sure where to look. I drove past the fairgrounds

where the Peach Festival had been held but it was empty.

Nothing going on.

The baseball diamond next door was dark as was the football

field behind the high school. I drove down Main Street and

followed the signs to the hospital, retracing the route I’d taken only a few weeks earlier.

Weird. It felt so long ago. The festival. That first “non-

date.” How had he managed to mean so much to me in such

a short time?

I thought that maybe I loved Nathan.

No. That was wrong. I didn’t think anymore. I was sure of it.

I loved Nathan Everets, and I couldn’t picture my tomorrow

without him in it.

“Crap,” I said aloud, glancing in my rearview mirror to make

sure no one was behind me.

I had no idea if he would come to the hospital, but it was

a place to start. I parked as best I could, considering I had to

parallel Gram’s giant- ass car, and two minutes later, I ran through the front doors.

Trevor was on the fifth floor, and when I got off the elevator,

the lounge area near the nurses’ station was empty. The whole

place was quiet.

It smelled.

It smelled like pain and fear and death.

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A walk around the nurses’ station and a quick glance down

each hallway that led from the main desk told me the place was

deserted. More than a little nervous, I returned to the lounge,

unsure what to do.

I sat on the old, worn vinyl sofa that I’d sat on before and

shoved my hands underneath my legs for warmth, shivering

when I heard someone cry out from down the hall. Was it a

patient? Or a family member.

I guess it didn’t matter, because either way, it meant that

someone was in pain. Someone hurt, and that sucked.

A nurse at the station smiled at me. She looked young. Too

young to be a nurse, but her pretty eyes and soft smile made

me feel a little better. “Can I help you, hon? Visiting hours are nearly over.”

I shook my head. “I should go,” I said and jumped to my feet.

“Who are you here to see?” she asked.

“It’s fine. No one.”

I ran to the elevator, and once inside, pressed M for the main

floor. The doors started to slide back into place but a large,

meaty hand stopped them and a tall man stepped in with me.

I knew this man. I knew his tortured eyes. His large, powerful

shoulders. The tattoos.

I recognized him from the last time I’d been here with

Nathan. It was Trevor’s dad.

And boy, did he look awful.

We rode down in silence, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t even

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know I was there. He was off somewhere, somewhere dark and

sad, and when he stepped off, I followed.

I followed him out the front doors of the hospital and down

the side until he stopped near a stone bench and a waterfall.

I shivered slightly as I watched him pull out a cigarette and

light it.

He took a long drag and leaned against the bench, head bent

toward the starless sky as he slowly exhaled.

I watched him take another long drag. I stepped back, wishing

the shadows were darker here. Why had I followed him? What

was I doing? I needed to find Nathan, not creep Trevor’s dad.

“Do you know him?”

I jumped at the sound of his voice and glanced around

quickly just to make sure he wasn’t talking to someone else. But

there was no one there.

Shit.

“No,” I said carefully.

Trevor’s dad glanced my way, and the unmistakable sheen of

tears glistened on his face. He didn’t try to wipe them. He just

took another drag and flicked his ashes onto the ground.

“So why are you here?”

I stared back at him, unsure and more than a little intimi-

dated by his size and his pain. I remembered how angry he’d

been with Nathan. How he had threatened to kick Nathan’s ass

if he ever…

Panicked, I took a step closer.

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“I’m looking for Nathan.” The words tumbled from me

before I could take them back, and I waited for his reaction,

my gut churning with fear and my heart hurting at the pain

in his eyes.

He didn’t say anything. He just watched me for a few seconds

and then took another drag before tossing his cigarette. Carefully he ground the butt with his booted foot and then pushed off

from the bench.

He was too quiet, and suddenly I was more than a little

scared— not for me, but for Nathan.

“Did you…did he come by? His parents are worried and I

know that…”
I
need
to
find
him.

He stopped a few inches from me, this large, powerfully

built man. His hands were tight at his sides, fisted, and I took

a step back.

“Who are you?”

Surprised, I didn’t answer at first, and he shifted his feet,

exhaling tiredly as he rolled his shoulders. The lines around his eyes deepened, sinking into his skin. I held my breath, not sure

what to expect, but then he whispered, “Never mind.”

He moved past me and I turned to watch him, unsure what I

should do or say to make things right. I wanted to make things

right. I wanted him not to hurt.

Everything about the man screamed pain. God, there was so

much pain, and I was sick of it. It hung in the air, sucking up all the oxygen, making it hard to breathe.

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It slid over me.
Into
me.
And I stumbled, tears springing to my eyes at the unfairness of it all.

What had I, or Nathan, or this man done to deserve the crap-

ton of hurt thrown our way? Had we pissed off the higher power?

Had we done something so bad that we needed this heavy dose

of pain to tip the scales back to where they were supposed to be?

Was it just our bad luck? Or was it fate?

Or maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe there wasn’t a reason

or a plan and I was overthinking everything. Maybe things just

were
, and the good and the bad happened for no reason other than
they
just
did
.

Stuff came at us, and it was up to each of us to handle it.

Some of us survived and others, well, others just didn’t. Maybe

that was the point of it all.

But if you were like me, you survived because someone gave

you a reason to.

“He’s so sorry,” I whispered. “You have no idea.”

Trevor’s dad stopped but didn’t turn around, and I took that

as a sign to keep going.

“Nathan would never hurt Trevor on purpose. The way he

talks about him…it’s like they’re brothers or something, and it’s killing him to know he made a mistake that put his best friend

in the hospital.”

My voice caught and I shuddered, cold and frustrated.

“I know that what happened to your son is the most awful

thing ever— ”

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“You don’t know shit, little girl.”

I swallowed hard as Trevor’s dad turned around and glared at

me. “Who are you again?” he barked.

“Monroe. My name is Monroe Blackwell. I’m just a friend

and…and you might not like to hear this, because I know that

most adults don’t like it when a kid tells them that, well, tells them that they’re wrong.” I paused and prayed for strength.

“You’re wrong.”

He took a step closer, and that fear inside me expanded until

I was trembling. But I didn’t back down. I couldn’t. I needed to

make him understand. I needed to do this for the boy I loved.