Breathe (26 page)

‘
Listen, Erik,’ I said, feeling brave with Alice in the room, ‘it was great seeing you, but we were actually heading out. Maybe I can call you, and we can meet for a coffee or something.’

That’s when I saw the backpack hanging on his shoulder. He dropped it to the floor.

‘Are you going out? I just got here.’ And clearly, he intended to stay.

‘
Well, you didn’t exactly let me know you were coming…’ my voice trailed off, and I looked at Alice for help. She misunderstood me.

‘
If you want, I can call and add Erik on the list.’

I was about to decline, I didn’t intend to spend the evening with Erik, and I needed to get him out of here and away from me. He still scared me.

‘That would be fantastic,’ Erik said. ‘Where are we going?’ He put his hand on Alice’s back and led her towards the living room. I trailed behind, trying desperately to find a way out of this.

‘
I work for Managing Studios, and they are throwing a premiere party for the
Amazing Amy
-movie.’

‘
Really. That sounds like fun. I never turn down a party.’

They were having a conversation without me, and I snuck to the bathroom to compose myself.
I looked in the mirror, and contemplated removing some of the make-up, when Erik came in behind me.

‘
You should remove some of that make-up, we wouldn’t want anyone to think you are a hooker, do we?’ he said, and started to undress right in front of me. ‘I’m going to take a quick shower, don’t leave without me.’

I didn’t argue with him, I ran back out before he got completely naked. Alice was on the phone, and she was smiling to me, giving me thumbs up.

‘Listen,’ I said as soon as she hung up, I needed her to lie to Erik and help me get him out. But I didn’t get to tell her because Erik came back into the living room in fresh clothes.

‘
Great news. Your in.’

‘
You are amazing,’ Erik smiled at her, charming his way like he always does. He came up behind me, and put his arms around my waste. It made Alice grin, she was all for this. I tried to wiggle out of it, but I felt Erik’s arms tighten. We were doing this.

‘
Your dress is kind of short, maybe you should change?’

‘
Actually, the dress is perfect. Besides, we are late,’ Alice said, and headed for the door.

For the first time in years, I was outside my apartment. But I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t catch anything of the movie, my mind was preoccupied of finding a way to get Erik to leave. He had left his backpack at my apartment, so he assumed he was staying with me. Like I would welcome him and pick up where we left off two years ago. He hadn’t even bothered to ask if I was seeing someone. He just assumed I was his. He always used to say that to me. I was his. I belonged to him. If Alfred hadn’t come and shipped me off when I was released from the hospital, I probably would have gone back to him. He was so sorry the last time I saw him. He was heartbroken. Now it seems everything was ok. After all, I was his. I didn’t want to be. I loved someone else. I know that didn’t matter, it wasn’t like Christopher would ever come back to me, but it didn’t matter. I was done with men. I wouldn’t love someone else ever again. It hurt too much. And nobody could compare to Chris. Least of all Erik. Having the distant from him made me realise just how fucked up our relationship was. I could never go back to him, even if he had changed. I hadn’t changed, and I was the one making everybody angry. And I knew turning Erik away would make him angry. I had to make sure I wasn’t alone with him. I had never in my stay here been so glad for the porter service at my apartment. At least he couldn’t come knocking on my door without anyone else knowing. I could get Frank to get the police if necessary.

Erik kept introducing himself as my boyfriend at the party, and I kept shaking my head and trailing behind him and Alice. I tri
ed taking him to the side and asked him to stop telling people I was his girlfriend, but he told me in a stern tone that even if I didn’t see it that way now, I would soon, because I was his. He reminded me that I once had promised him I would always be his.

Alice came and went, talking to actresses and co-workers and doing her networking. Erik was doing his best at enjoying free liquor, draining one glass after another with alcohol. He held my arm tightly, so I “wouldn’t get lost,” he said.’

‘
How did you find me?’ I asked again when we were alone for a minute.

‘
A little bird told me,’ he squeezed my hand. ‘That punk had a nice secretary, who didn’t see the problem with me showing up to surprise you on your birthday.’

‘
It’s not my birthday.’

‘
Well, she didn’t know that. Besides, someone had to come get you and make sure you got home all right.’

‘
I’m not going home, I’m staying in London.’

‘
Don’t be silly, of course you are coming home. That school was only suppose to be two years. Don’t tell me you need to redo it. Did you flunk? You are too pretty to be in school. You are coming home with me. What do you have here that is more important than us, anyway?’

‘
Don’t you see, Erik? There is no
us
. I moved here to get away from you.’

‘
It’s the stupid lawyer talking. You know you love me. We belong together. You are mine.’

‘
I haven’t been yours for years, Erik. We aren’t good for each other.’

‘
Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that! You know how much I love you. Being away from you, you have no idea how hard it has been. I need you, Sara. I love you so much.’

I could hear the affect of alcohol, and was relieved that it was his begging, sorrowful side that came through. It was easier than the anger-side. But I knew it was a thin line, and I didn’t push hi
m any further. I needed to get away. I needed to get home without him.

Alice came rushing up to me. ‘Oh, Sara. I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I promise you, I had no idea. Margaret told me they weren’t coming. They were still on holiday. I’m sorry, I didn’t know he would be here.’

Erik had wrapped his hands around my waist again, and whispered in my ear:

‘What is she talking about?’

Then I saw him.
He was as beautiful as I remembered. It was like looking at a train wreck. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help myself. It was shear pain to look at him, but my eyes couldn’t look away. They had just entered the main hall, and people where gathering around them like flies. It reminded me of the art gallery. People had swarmed then too. And like that time, his eyes lifted and found mine, like magnet. His gaze turned angry. He was still angry with me. I wanted to throw up. The only way out was to pass them, but I tried desperately to wiggle out of Erik’s arms so I could escape the opposite way, further in. His grip only tightened, and he pulled me closer.

‘
Shit, do you see that? It’s that actor from
The Enigma
. Ahh, people back home aren’t going to believe this. Do you think he would take a picture with me? I have to try. Come on.’

‘
No, Erik. Don’t…,’ I tried, but when had he ever listened to me. He held my hand firmly and made his way through the crowd, dragging me behind him. The crowed was thinning some now, and he managed to come close. My eyes met Julia, she was at Christopher’s side, with one hand around his bicep. She took a deliberate look at Erik and my hand interlocked, and then smiled coldly.
It didn’t take you very long
I could read in her eyes. I tried to get out of Erik’s grip without causing a scene. Christopher looked at our hands too, and took a step towards us.

‘
Sara,’ he said, his tone coloured with all kinds of emotions.

‘
Wow, you know him?’ Erik turned to me. ‘I’m Erik, her boyfriend.’ He gave Christopher his hand, and I wanted to sink through the floor as they shook.

‘
Christopher Petrelli,’ he answered in a cold voice. It reminded me of the last time I saw him. I could feel the panic rising.

‘
Do you mind if I take a picture? My friends back home won’t believe that I actually met a frickin movie star.’

‘
Actually, I do mind. Sara, can I talk to you for a minute?’

‘
Christopher, that’s probably not a good idea,’ Julia said, looking around with a fake smile on her face.

‘
I was just going to find Alice,’ I said, finally getting out of Erik’s grip. I turned to run away, but Christopher caught up with me and steered me to an empty hallway.

‘
What the hell are you doing with that guy?’ he asked through clenched teeth.

‘
Nothing. He showed up today, and Alice invited him.’

‘
He said he is your boyfriend.’

I didn’t care that his eyes were angry, I loved watching in to them anyway. I had to concentrate to hear his words.

‘He has been saying it all night, it doesn’t mean it’s true.’

‘
Then why don’t you correct him?’

I didn’t understand. Why did he care? Is this the reason he is angry, or is he angry because he still believes I rat to the journalist?

‘I tried, several times. What’s it to you, anyway?’ My eyes drift to his lips, and I wonder if they taste the same.

‘
He is the guy who abused you isn’t he. I can’t believe you would go back to him.’

‘
I haven’t. He’s not… I’m not with him. I told you, he just showed up.’

‘
Hey, what’s going on?’ Erik came up behind us.

‘
You stay away from her, you hear?’ Christopher turned to him, almost shouting the words. The people near the hallway turned and looked at us curious.

‘
Hey, man. I don’t have a problem with you’ Erik held up his hands, palms towards Christopher. ‘What’s going on, Sara?’ he said, switching to Norwegian.

‘
I think maybe you should leave, Erik,’ I said, in English so Christopher would understand it too. This was getting us too much attention. Alice came rushing too.

‘
What’s going on, guys?’ she said, looking at me for an explanation.

‘
I need to go,’ I told her. She held her hand out to me, and I took it as I walked passed both Christopher and Erik.

‘
Wait, Sara. You are not leaving me,’ Erik said, grabbing my sleeve.

‘
Let me go, Erik. Please.’ I really needed to get out of here.

‘
Get your goddamn hands off her,’ Christopher said, gripping Erik’s hand. Now we definitive had peoples attentions.

‘
What’s your problem, man? Get your hands off of me.’

‘
Let go of her.’

‘
She is my girlfriend, I can do whatever I want to her. In fact, I’m going to take her home and fuck her from here to eternity, how about that?’ It was typical Erik to say something stupid just to provoke. I should have stopped him from drinking all the champagne. I could have prevented this.

Obliviously, for some reason, Christopher got provoked. I didn’t understand what was happening before Erik was on the floor, with blood flowing from his nose. Christopher was shaking his hand as in pain, and his eyes were fixe
d on me, anger searing through. Then Alice dragged me away as security came to handle the situation.

I had trouble breathing, and focused on taking slow and deep breathes as Alice got me through the location and out the door. I felt flashes of lights hit me, and Alice held up her purse to hide my face.
This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening
.

Somehow, Alice managed to get a hold of a taxi, while people where swarming around us snapping pictures and asking questions. I didn’t remember the cab drive, suddenly the taxi was in front of the building, and Alice shoved me up the stairs and in the door. Frank came and met us.

‘Don’t let anybody inside. Don’t tell anyone her name. Don’t say anything,’ Alice barked at a stunned Frank, while she dragged me to the elevator. As soon as we stopped walking, I sunk on my knees. 

‘
Oh, no, you don’t. Get up.’

‘
Please. Just let me die.’

‘
Not on my watch. What happened?’

We were out of the elevator
now, and she took the card from my purse and got us inside. My phone was ringing. Alice took it, and hung up after a second.

‘
Fuck. That didn’t take them long.’

‘
Who was it?’ I asked, not bothering to ask why she would answer my phone for me.

‘
You need a new number.’

‘
What?’

‘
They know your name. They know your phone number, and it wont take long before they know where you live.’