Breathless (16 page)

“Go to Hell.” It isn’t much of a comeback. Truth be told, I don’t care about comebacks. I want my brother to be okay, and I want Gracen to not be a hovering clear… thing.

“If we don’t stop the Abomination, we will all go there. One way or another.”

I’ve just about had it with him…

“He’s right.” Gracen stops me in my tracks. She can’t be serious right now.

“He’s not right. He’s never been right. About any of this.”

Lucien seems to be settled, as much as he’s going to settle at the moment, so I get up and go back toward Gracen.

It’s so difficult not to be able to touch her.

Back when she was human, and I was Sam, I had every opportunity to reach out and take her hand. More times than not, I didn’t. I told myself it was because I was doing what Seth wanted. I was hurting her like Seth wanted so I could get my revenge on my brother. In reality, I think I was scared. What if she found out about me? She’d hate me. She should hate me.

And then my little pretend life would be over.

I liked being Sam.

I liked being Gracen’s boyfriend.

I liked everything about it.

I hate that I didn’t kiss her enough.

I hate how much I hurt her.

I hate that I never pulled her into my room and made love to her.

I hate so much.

I hate myself more than anything.

Except I can’t dwell on that now. Gracen is here. I’m not sure how long she will hold out, though. And I think we’re all on the same page about putting her soul back in her body. Well, I’m not sure if her soul is okay with it… we should probably talk about it. I hope she doesn’t freak out and disappear.

“I saw her,” she says, getting my attention. Seth’s too. He’s right next to me before I know what’s going on. That old man can move when he needs to.

“You saw who?” I already know, but I guess I just feel like saying something dumb.

“Me… her… the Abomination. She was in our apartment.”

Gracen looks at Seth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything—human, demon, angel, or soul—look so sad. “I saw her kill everything.”

“How?” Seth puts his hands behind his back. I can see the wheels turning in his old professor head. That can either be really good or really bad.

“She got really upset. I think the voices were getting to her.”

“Voices?”

“Lucien, stop listening and relax.” I warn. I can’t worry about him on top of everything else.

“Hart, stop bossing and shut up. Gracen, what voices?”

“The voices of all the other people she killed or took their souls from their bodies or something. I don’t know what she’s doing. I don’t know if she knows what she’s doing. I think she’s scared.”

“Scared? The Abomination can’t be scared.” Seth scoffs.

“I’d be scared if I were here,” Gracen says sadly.

If I could only hug her and make it better.

I’d give anything to make it better.

“Marcy was one of the souls. I talked to her.”

I really wish she hadn’t mentioned Marcy. Lucien sat up straight and winced from his idiotic move. “Marcy’s dead?”

Marcy and Lucien were TAs for Professor Mitchell. Lucien is visibly torn up over her death. Seth? Well, Seth doesn’t even flinch.

“What made her stop?” Seth asks like he never heard anything about the girl he used to spend a lot of time with.

Gracen’s eyes find mine. “Amelia. She made her stop.”

“Amelia.” Of course it was her. Of course it was. Like things can’t get any worse than to bring Amelia into it. I’d almost forgotten about her. I guess I figured she’d disappeared somewhere, into some deep hole in the world to hide out and wait for the end of days and hope she didn’t get stuck in the fall. I should’ve known she had some plan up her sleeve. She normally does.

I wish I were more like my mother.

“Yeah. I don’t know where they went or what they’re doing, but I know they disappeared together. Amelia still has my mother.” Gracen looks up to Seth. “Do you think my mother is still alive in there?”

Please don’t answer that… please don’t answer that.

“I have no idea.” Seth actually sounds sympathetic, which isn’t something I expected. “I hope she is. Believe it or not, I was fond of your mother. I wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise.”

“That’s… disturbing to know.” Gracen shivers. “What I need to know is can we stop the Abomination? Is there any way or form or spell or anything that we can do to make her stop?”

“You might not like it,” Seth says before I can stop him.

Seth’s simple stupid statement gives Grace the one thing I don’t want her to have—hope. Hope is a dangerous thing. The most dangerous thing on the planet. Hope kills more dreams than anything. Hope, if we aren’t very careful, will kill the world.

“So there’s a plan?” Gracen’s eyes light up like Christmas trees.

“No… no, not exactly.” I back peddle.

She looks from Seth to me… and from me to Seth. “Is there a plan or not?”

I say no at the same time Seth says yes.

He pops me on the back of the head.

I elbow him in the stomach.

Fun times.

“Hart, tell me. Don’t try to protect me or think that I can’t handle it. I can handle it. I promise, but I need you to be honest with me. Is there a plan? Is there any way to stop her? Is there anything I can do?”

I take a very long deep breath. She won’t be satisfied if I lie and tell her no. She won’t stop until she finds some way, period.

“Seth thinks there’s a small chance—incredibly minute, a chance so small it doesn’t even matter—that we might be able to put your soul back into your body. You take back control, and you don’t end the world.”

Gracen turns and paces toward the kitchen. “I’m in.”

Of course she is. “Did you not hear the part about the small, minute chance?”

“All I heard was chance. And that’s all we have right now.”

I can’t believe this. No, actually I can believe this. This insanity is always where we were headed. Gracen, being all filled with guilt, is going to do something stupid and horrible to save the world, and I’m going to have to do something stupid and horrible to save her.

The circle of life.

“I was there, Hart. I saw what she did to those people. I had all their souls looking at me like I was a monster. I know that if I can stop it, then I’m going to try. I can’t sit around and do nothing so if Seth has a plan, let’s hear it. The time for grudges is over.”

The time for grudges is never over. “It’s not like that, sweetheart. I’m not holding a grudge on Seth.”

“Could have fooled me.” That wasn’t even far enough under his breath for it to count as under his breath.

“It’s about being realistic and practical. You know the old saying: fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice? Well, darlin’ this is our twice. We’ve… I trusted Seth once, and everybody in this room has suffered for it. I can’t do that again.”

“It’s not just up to you.” My brother is trying to sit up and throw his two cents in. I don’t want his two cents. I know he’ll throw them Seth’s way, and no, I don’t have any other plans, but I know we can’t trust Seth.

I know that.

I don’t think we have a choice.

“Hart, Seth has as much to lose here as we do, right, Seth?” He doesn’t answer at first. He just stands there with his hands behind his back and his eyebrow raised at me. I hate it when he does that. “Right… Seth?”

“Right.” I don’t know if he’s trying to make me feel better about life, but he isn’t. Not by a long shot. “All we need is the book…”

“The book?” Gracen is in front of me before I know what’s going on. It’s weird looking through her and into the eyes of Seth. I guess no weirder than any of this, still… weird. “I know where the book is.”

If I could grab Gracen by the arm and drag her away for a private conversation, I’d do it. This isn’t one of those things you just blab to people. Especially not people like Seth.

“Gracen.” I warn.

She either doesn’t get it or doesn’t care. “I saw it at my apartment. The Abomination had it.”

Seth speaks to me right through Gracen. That has to be strange for her. “You took it to your apartment?”

I shrug. Not like I had a terribly long time to hide it.

“Yeah, well, it’s gone now.”

“What do you mean?” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Seth afraid. Even at the Hell gate. He wasn’t afraid. Interested, maybe. Mad as hell, yeah. But not really afraid. Even in Gracen’s bedroom with Amelia, he didn’t seem afraid. Now, though, I can see it written all over his face. He’s afraid of what’s going to happen, afraid of what he’s created.

Doctor Frankenstein is afraid of his monster.

“I mean I saw her take the book out back and burn it.”

Seth tilts his head to the side. “Burn it? You saw the book burn?”

Gracen nods. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. If I could’ve gotten it out of the fire, I would have. I… The Abomination said that nothing could stop her now. I think we’re up a creek, Professor Mitchell.”

I can see the wheels turning in Seth’s big cranium. “Maybe. Maybe not. In your backyard you say?”

“What are you thinking?” Because if it isn’t “Hey, I’m going to help these people I screwed,” then it is the wrong kind of thinking.

“Nothing. I’m thinking nothing.”

How did I ever believe anything Seth said? He’s a horrible liar.

“You’re going to go after the book, aren’t you?” Lucien puts the pieces together before I do. Even with a concussion, he’s faster than me. I’m not happy about this.

“There’s nothing to go after. The book is gone. Burned up. It won’t do you any good. And what if it wasn’t? The only thing it mentioned about an Abomination was that it could only be stopped by a human heart, and we have no idea what that means.” Gracen has a very good point.

“I think one would have to actually read the book slowly and not skim it on the floor of some rundown hotel room in order to fully comprehend the word of God.” I think he’s going to go after it. I think I’ll need to stop him.

“You aren’t going after that book.” I step in front of Gracen, like I could even protect her, and glare at Seth. “I won’t let you.”

He laughs. Actually laughs. “Like you can stop me. You’re human now. Weak as a kitten. If not for me dragging your sorry butts out of the car, your little girlfriend would’ve killed you with the light. So you can take your little threats and your distrust, and you can shove it. We need to at least see if the book is there.”

“And bring it back here?” Gracen asks, walking up to my side. “Bring it back here so I can help you stop her. Right?”

He doesn’t answer.

“You aren’t doing anything to Gracen before we can figure out how to save her soul.” My fist balls up, and I’m ready to knock him out if I have to. The world is one thing. I’m all for saving the world, but a world without Gracen Sullivan? No, I’m not ready to live there. I thought she was dead, and that was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my life. I can’t do it again. I won’t do it again.

If we can’t save Gracen, we aren’t saving everybody.

Let it burn.

Let it all burn.

I expected a comeback. What I got was the sound of wings flapping, and then Seth was gone.

I yell his name, but I know he won’t answer. He’s probably already at the apartment. He probably already has the book, the book I bet wouldn’t burn. And he’s already trying to figure out how to destroy the Abomination and his daughter in the process.

“We have to stop him,” I tell Lucien. He’s so pale, even through the lamp’s light. Much too pale. Oh God, he can’t do this to me now.

“He’ll be out of Crimson Ridge before you can even get down the steps on the porch. We just have to trust that he won’t do anything to jeopardize the world.”

“It isn’t the world I’m worried about.” I turn around and face Gracen. Face her soul. It’s much brighter than I thought it would be. I thought maybe I’d made it dark with all the things I’d done to her, all the things she had me do. All the feelings she’d had. But it isn’t dark. It’s bright. She’s glowing. She’s beautiful.

She’s crying.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The Abomination

I
SHOULD CARE THAT SHE’S INSIDE
my mother.

It seems the logical thing to care about. One of the most powerful demons in Hell is in my—in Gracen’s— mother’s body and I can’t seem to care.

The only thing I care about is that she took me away from all that screaming, all that pain. Pain I caused.

It isn’t like I wanted to leave or even thought about it. I just wanted it to stop. And it did.

And Amelia brought me here.

The Hell gate.

Nice and quiet and peaceful.

I don’t think I can hurt anybody here.

Or maybe this is where I end it all.

Amelia sits down on the rocks that surround the glass, which covers the gate. It’s funny how she looks like Gracen’s mom, but she doesn’t. Her eyes are different. The way she carries herself is different. It’s her, but it’s not.

Like me. I look like Gracen, but I’m most certainly not her. Thank the Lord.

“Why did you bring me here?”

She smiles. “Can’t a mother spend time with her daughter?”

That’s about as wrong of an assessment as this can get. “Sure they can. But I’m not Gracen and you aren’t Ruby, so this isn’t bonding?”

It takes her a minute before she says anything, and in that minute, I swear I hear something in the caves behind me. A rat, probably. A really, really big rat. I wonder if I’ve killed the animals too like I’ve killed the people? I wonder which one I should mourn the most: animals or people.

“I brought you here because you’re missing the big picture. You’re just reacting to things, to feelings, and not doing anything with a plan.”

“A plan?”

“You’re the most powerful thing the world has ever seen. Ever. You don’t need to just use your powers when you are freaking out over something. My God, girl, you need a plan. A vision. A cause.”

“I thought my cause was to destroy the world.”

Amelia smiles warmly at me. “Only if you want it to be.” She stands up and starts walking toward me. “You can take this curse and do something good with it. You don’t have to make everything burn. You can change it. Change your destiny.”