Breene, K F - Jessica Brodie Diaries 01 (21 page)

“Great!” I said enthusiastically.
“If I am still in the area I will definitely apply for any positions that fit
my growing skill set. Thank you for the acknowledgement.”

My smile couldn’t get any cheesier.

“If you are in the area?” William
asked evenly.

My eyes automatically found his.
With my new state of numbness, I could appreciate his appearance without any
negative emotions. His new haircut really suited his face. The dark of his hair
accented the light of his eyes. At the moment they seemed to glow. He was so
handsome it made my mouth water.

“I might be going back to
L.A.
.
Or to
Australia
.
I’m leaning toward
Australia
but haven’t made a final decision.”

Gladis cleared her throat, drawing
my eyes. She spoke up in the calm tone she saved for when she was mad in
public. “You haven’t mentioned this to me.”

I took a subtle, but deep, breath.
“I haven’t confirmed my plans yet. I might stay here, I’m not sure. I would, of
course, give everyone plenty of advanced notice.” I touched everyone of note
with my gaze.

“You haven’t been here long. Why
would you leave so soon?” Denise asked with mild curiosity.

“Uh, well, I do love the area, I
just don’t know that I am fitting into it as well as I could. It could just be
the culture shock from
L.A.
. I
really don’t know. Again, I haven’t decided anything yet. I am still weighing
all my options.”

“Well,” Tom said, “I do hope you
stay. Either way, young people have to see the world. You have three weeks of
vacation, so that's an option as well.”

William’s eyes were boring into me
as he said, “You have a lot of friends here that would hate to see you go. You
should think of them before you make any final decisions.”

I blinked at him. Uh...I guess, but
not really. Candace and Gladis. JP might get a twinge of sadness that he lost
his lunch buddy, but that was about it. It was an odd comment with no warmth.
Actually, it was a touch hostel. I really didn’t need that kick while I was
lying face down in the preverbal mud.

Denise was looking at him in slight
confusion.

I nodded. Time to go.

I excused myself from Gladis and
everyone and headed out the door. It might have been rude, but I really didn’t
care at that moment. I made up my mind--
Australia
it is!

When I got home, which was a touch
and go affair with my dying car, I took a shower and rooted around in my closet
for a pair of sweats. I couldn’t find the stupid things, but I did stumble upon
one of my skinny dresses from before I moved to
Texas
.
It was one of those dresses that you couldn’t bear to throw away because it was
so cute, but that ten pounds of “water weight“ that never went away prevented
you from squeezing into it.

I took it out for kicks. I had lost
some L-Bs and toned up from all my time at the gym so I figured I would
benchmark my progress. The dress had always been dicey to get into because it
was form fitting with unyielding fabric. Tight in the waist for an hour glass
look, snug in the chest to push out the cle**age, and the cut lengthened and
accentuated the legs. When it fit, it made me look like a million dollars! I
wore it once and got some serious looks from a bunch of the guys. I eventually
ruined the magic by puking on my shoes.

I twisted and turned, sucked in and
coaxed the dress over my big head, over my C-cup, and down around my hips,
which must have been bigger than they were two years ago. Damn!

But wait, what’s this? Wait....

No, turns out the h*ps weren’t
bigger, the butt muscles were. I knew that, but judging by my reflection in Ole
Hopeful, which normal people called the mirror, the dress fit! It fit! And it
looked sensational!

All I had to do now was throw on a
smoky eye, some bronzer, and natural lipstick. Oh yeah, and find a place to go.

My body would have sagged if the
dress let it.

Lightning bolt. Candace!

Candace had better be out! And if
not Candace, William’s friend Adam. He was hot. I wouldn’t mind taking him for
a spin before I headed to
Australia
.
People could talk all they wanted, I wouldn’t be coming back.

I called Candace but it rang out. I
left a message. Then I texted for good measure. I went through my phone to find
Adam’s number—he’d snuck it in there as a “lifeline” when we were at Froggy’s
that one time.

“Hello?” he said. The lifeline must
have been one-sided because it was obvious he had no idea who was calling.

“Adam?”

“Yeah? Who’s this?”

“Oh, hi. It’s Jess. Jessica.
Uh...Candace’s fr—”

“Jessica. Yeah, course. How are
you? Long time.”

“Um. Yeah.” Oh God, I was nervous!
I was in the beginning stages of regretting this decision. I hardly knew the
guy! Last time I saw him I very obviously wanted his friend. I wasn’t that girl
to go for one guy, get denied then go for his friend! I hated myself a little.

Not to mention I had strange guilt
pangs.

“What’re you up to?” he asked with
ease, probably hearing my hesitation.

“Oh. Um. Well, I was visiting
Gladis—my land lady Gladis—wait, you know Gladis. Anyway, she’s in the
hospital. For her hip. Nothing serious. Uh...” My brain was screeching at my
finger to hang up the phone to save my person from further embarrassment!

“I heard about that. Is she okay?”
Adam said into my stuttering mess of an explanation. He was obviously trying to
help me feel legit about this phone call.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah no, she is. She’ll
be fine, thanks for asking. Anyway, I was... Well, no one is home here—they are
at the hospital. Um, I went, but then...I had to get out of there. And well...”
My stuttering was painful even to me! I took a big breath to steady myself
before I went on.

Adam filled the gap with, “‘Cause
Willie showed up, you mean?”

“Um. N—how did... That wasn’t the
reason I left or anything, but... That is beside the point, actually.” I shook
my head to clear it. “Look, I was just wandering if maybe you wouldn’t mind
getting a drink or something? I don’t really have anyone here to hang out with
and it’s Friday night. Big empty houses and all—it’s kind of spooky. So...”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I knew why you
was callin’. Candace showed me your text after she heard me say your name. I
was just seein’ if you could form the words on your own.” He outright laughed
this time.

“Thanks Adam.”

“No problem, Jessie girl. Anyhoo,
we’re at McClarin’s.”

“Who’s we?” I asked with
trepidation. I hoped William was still with his parents.

“Moose, Ty, Candace, me. You in
about twenty.”

I laughed to extinguish my
nervousness. “Thanks Adam. I found a cute dress in my closet that I really
wanted to wear out.”

“The closet is a good ol’ place to
look for lost clothes.” I could actually hear him rolling his eyes. “Candace is
dressed nice, too. You’ll be with company.”

“Yay! Okay, see you in a bit!”

“Yup. Bye.”

I hung up and did a halting happy
dance, not able to move much in the dress. I hadn’t been out in forever!

I skipped to the bathroom to do
hair and make-up. I didn’t mess up once. It was my lucky night.

I found some cute shoes to go with
the dress and headed out to the car. I would drive there and get a cab back. I was
in a great mood until I heard a certain country song that fit my situation a
little too well.

But then, they all did, didn’t
they? They were either heart breakers, or had broken hearts. The story of life.

I held it together, refusing to let
the melody and word combination into my heart, until I heard, “I see you
leanin’, bound to fall, I don’t want to be that mistake.”

At that moment I paired William
with all the words, seeing myself trying to fall for him, and him trying to
keep me at an arm’s distance. He was a gentleman for Gladis’s sake, so he
wouldn’t let me into his bed, but he didn’t want anywhere near my heart.

It finally hit me. The cold hard
truth finally beat its way through my hopeful defenses and made me admit to it.
He was not unattainable because he was handsome, rich, had manners, confidence,
charisma and grace. He was unattainable because he didn’t want me like I wanted
him.

I would have completely broken down
by the side of the road where I was currently idling, but I didn’t want to destroy
my eye make-up. I would have turned around and gone home, but I didn’t want to
explain why I was to those waiting for me.

I decided I would not let William
ruin this night, as he had ruined so many others. He wouldn’t even be there
tonight, and Adam and Moose always treated me well, plus Candace and Ty were
there. I would put on a brave face and go. To hell with him!

I parked in the lot, struggled with
my dress to get out of the car, and headed to the local watering hole.

A girl walks into a bar…

That was it. I was my own joke.

Moose stood in the back of a
half-filled, medium sized bar. Well, if it wasn’t Moose it was another giant
man.

It was Moose.

Next to him stood Adam. They
watched someone slide from the booth, who I realized was Candace, while talking
and laughing together. Adam saw me first, but Moose wasn’t far behind. Neither
could help being guys as they looked down at my awesome dress and perfectly
sculpted body because of it.

I still got it!

“Hey guys. How are you?” I asked
flirtatiously. The best way to hide your inner grief is to look good, act good,
and pretend pain doesn’t exist.

“Hey little sister. You look...”
Moose was trying desperately not to stare at my br**sts.

Adam gave him a hard nudge and
grinned at me, the first of them to come back to earth. I would have to wear
this dress more often! I just had to keep going to the gym to fit into it.

“Hi ya, Jess,” Adam said happily as
he gave me a big hug. “Missed ya! Where have ya been?”

Moose hugged me, too. But after
that he avoided looking at me entirely.

“I guess this dress was a good
find,” I said sardonically.

“Moose here just got a girlfriend
and she’s...being coy,” Adam explained.

“Oh, she hasn’t given it up yet,
you mean. Keep in there Moose, it means she likes you.”

Moose put his hands up in
surrender. “Nope. I give. Let me know when she sits down.” He walked off toward
the bar.

Candace ran over, squealing the
whole way. She hugged me exuberantly then commented on how much she liked my
dress.

Ty followed her over and said,
“Holy Lord, Jessica. You trying to find love tonight or what?”

“Love? Is that what you call it
when two like-minded people spend a night together?”

“Oh sorry. Let me rephrase. You
looking for a wild ride tonight or what?”

Candace hit him.

“Men? Hell no! I found this dress
in my closet while looking for some sweats, fit into it—miracle!—and decided to
take it out for a test spin. How do I look?” I turned around to show off the
wares.

“Well let’s see,” Ty said as he
analyzed with his hand on his chin, “Adam the saint just checked out your ass,
that guy over there checked out your rack, Candace checked out your waist, and
every other guy is sizing us up to get in and have their shot. I would say that
dress is a success. Candace?”

“Oh I love it!” Candace gushed.
“Wish I could fit into it!”

“You want a beer?” Ty asked.

“Yeah, that’d be great, Ty.
Thanks!” I leaned against the wall next to Adam. Candace followed Ty to the
bar.

“You do look beautiful, Jessie. You
aughta come out with us more, you know?” Adam was looking out at the rest of
the bar.

I waved the comment away with my
stellar linguistics: “Yeah, well.”

“Everythin’ alright with... you?
After the...”

“Adam, do me a favor?”

“Anything,” he turned his head to
me.

“Just know that I’m okay, and will
continue to be okay, and you didn’t let me down, okay? I don’t really want you
to bring it up anymore.”

He regarded me with his soft brown
eyes and striking face. He was less a baby face now that I knew him. It was
probably due to his masculine personality. Still pretty more than handsome,
more teen model than Gladiator, but I could definitely wake up next to him
every morning. Or even for a couple mornings until I got the hell out of here.

Why the hell does that make me feel
guilty?

“I’m sorry to pry,” Adam said.

I got a sudden impulse, turned and
punched him in the soft spot on the upper arm where the muscles meet. Those in
the older brother bizz call that baby a Charlie Horse. No matter how big and
strong, if you get hit just right in that sweet spot, it would hurt. Just so happens,
I am a pro at the older brother bizz. Don’t know why, as I never had an older
brother.

Adam hopped away with something
that sounded like, “Yeeee owwww.” He grabbed his arm and looked at me like I
committed a cardinal offense.

I bent over, laughing, even though
it was actually a little tough to laugh in the dress. It still had to loosen up
a bit. Or I needed to lose another pound or two.

No, it had to loosen up.

Adam came shuffling back, fists up,
ready for revenge. I laughed and put my hands up, pleading like a fragile girl.
In between giggles I put on a pouty face. Adam’s grin got bigger and he laughed
harder.

“You wantin’ me to take it easy on
ya now, huh? That it?” he asked, chuckling, swaggering up to put an arm around
my shoulders in a sideways hug.

I used that as a platform for a
titty-twister. I grabbed his nipple quickly, squeezed, turned and pulled. I
hopped away again quickly, laughing all the while. His peck was hard and well
developed.