Brides and Betrayal (Reconciled and Redeemed Book 1) (13 page)

Three weeks had passed since her miscarriage and Holly was a ghost of her former self. She went to work every day, a plastic smile pasted on her face, but each day it became more of an effort to put on her “I’m okay” facade.

Hunter hadn’t called to check on her. He didn’t come by to see how she was feeling.
Why should he?

She pushed aside the thought and rang the doorbell, and was greeted moments later by the beaming bride.

“Oh Holly, I’m so excited.” The young woman wrapped her in a fierce hug brought on by her excitement.

“I’d ask you if you are ready, Rebecca, but I think I already know the answer.”

Over the past few months, Holly had realized there were several types of brides and bridal parties. Some were small, intimate, and included only a small gathering of family and close friends. Others were much larger, and often became more about the party than the dress. Holly listened as Rebecca explained who was here tonight.

“My best friend, who is also my maid of honor, is here. I have five bridesmaids!” Rebecca let out an overwhelmed giggle. “Two are my sisters, two are the groom’s sisters and then I have another friend. I couldn’t leave her out.” Rebecca’s last sentence came out as a whispered apology. “My parents and grandparents will be here - both of them. And Tony’s mom, stepmom and his grandmother also wanted to be a part of tonight.”

As Rebecca led Holly toward the rumble of conversation going on in the other room, Holly thought,
with this many opinions in the room, things could get ugly
.

She hadn’t been in the room a moment before someone from the couch called out her name. “Holly, is that you?”

Turning in the direction of the voice, Holly almost dropped her belongings as she saw her half-sister walking toward her.

“Jennifer?” Holly whispered as she allowed herself to be engulfed in the girl’s hug. Holly felt awkward after the woman refused to relinquish her hold immediately. She hadn’t seen Jennifer since she had left the Buckner's home shortly after her high school graduation.

“Dad has been trying to find you.”

She forced a bright smile - but she was sure it couldn’t illuminate a closed shoebox. “Maybe we can talk after the party.”

“Absolutely.” Jennifer said with a smile. The bright stain of red on the woman’s cheeks let Holly know Jen knew that she was getting the brush off.

She turned her back to the group, pretending to sort through her belongings. After she had organized her thoughts, she turned with a brighter, more rehearsed smile.

“Thank you all for coming tonight to Rebecca’s dress decision party.” Holly never let her eyes fall on Jennifer, knowing the woman’s stare would cause her to stumble in her carefully arranged speech. “Katie is passing out cards that will allow you to provide your input on each dress as Rebecca comes out.” She laughed, like she always did at this point. “Now I know it is going to be hard not to shout out your opinions, but our goal here in the first round is to help her narrow down her choices. After the first round of dresses, we will gather the cards and tally the vote. If she needs another round, then we will go from there.”

Mark was wheeling in the circular platform, and a couple of the younger women murmured comments under their breath. Holly didn’t need a huge leap in her imagination to gather that they were talking about her handsome helper. He smiled a jaunty smile at Jennifer, and then turned to go get the tri-fold mirror from the van.

Holly followed Rebecca to a bedroom where they went through the selection of dresses, pulling out the order in which she wanted to try them on. As Holly helped her into the first dress, Rebecca caught her eyes in the mirror. “So how do you know Jen?”

Holly averted her gaze and pinned the excess fabric from the bodice in the back with a clip. “She’s my half-sister.”

Clearing her throat from the emotions that were entangled there, Holly changed the subject. “Do you want to go with or without the veil?”

“Without.”

Holly avoided the girl’s quizzical stare.

The rest of the night was a blur of chiffon, satin and lace, until Rebecca put on a chiffon gown. Rebecca’s eyes filled with tears, and Holly knew that it didn’t matter what the voting cards said - Rebecca had found her dress.

Later that evening, she busied herself with cleanup, dispatching Mark and Katie to their duties in an effort to hustle them out of there as fast as they could. Usually she waited until after the guests left to schedule the fitting appointment, but she had arranged the appointment in the bedroom while she was helping Rebecca out of the dress. Within fifteen minutes, Mark had the props loaded in the first van, and Katie was rolling the dresses into the back of the second.

She thanked the mother of the bride, and endured another hug from Rebecca. Sidestepping an entangling moment with Jennifer was Holly’s goal. She hoped she wasn’t burning any professional bridges, but after today, she couldn’t stomach another emotional upheaval.

Holly slid into the van and shut the door, starting the engine before Katie even had her door closed. As Holly put the car in reverse, she saw Jennifer step out onto the porch.

Holly turned her head to look out the back window as she eased off the brake and let the van roll out of the driveway.

“I think that girl is trying to get your attention.” Katie lifted her arm to point at Jennifer.

Holly gently pushed Katie’s hand down before Jennifer could see. “I can’t right now.” Holly explained as she put the van in drive. In her peripheral vision, she could see that Jennifer was watching them leave with her hands on her hips. “She’s my stepsister, and...well, I don’t think I could handle the conversation she wants to have right now.

For a moment, Katie looked like she might say something. “Alright.”

The rest of the drive back to the store was silent. After they unloaded the van, she told Katie to go home. “We can put this away in the morning.”

As the woman turned to leave, she stopped. “Holly, I know you are in a dark place right now, but that is not where you are supposed to stay. You know that, right?”

Holly nodded, but saw little point in telling Katie she couldn’t find a way out.

“God can light the way.” Katie said, as if reading her thoughts.

“Yeah,” came Holly’s dejected response.

She wished Katie a goodnight and locked up. As Holly climbed the stairs to her apartment, she thought about what the woman said.
God
, she thought, He was once my life. Now where is He?

As she unlocked her door, Espresso greeted her. “At least I have you.”

The next morning, Holly was barely able to drag herself out of the bed.
Why?
She thought to herself.
Hunter’s gone, the baby’s gone - God is gone. Everyone has left me because I am so unworthy.

With motions of a robot, she showered and got ready to go to work. She briefly opened the fridge, but quickly slammed it shut.
Why?
She thought.

Her heels made hollow clunks on the stairs as she descended and entered the back of the shop. She opened the boutique and began putting away the dresses from last night’s event, the steady question of,
Why,
chanted endlessly through her brain as she performed each task.

She rested her arms on the top of a rack and closed her eyes to the unbearable weight she felt inside her chest. She wanted to cry, she wanted to feel something besides this endless pain. Why? I am the result of an affair. I had an affair. I had a child with a wonderful man, but lost that child. I have always been disastrous to all I come in contact with – why should I have relief?

The front door chimed, and Holly briefly thought about saying good morning to Anya. The question resurfaced again, but she squelched it. Turning toward the door, her greeting died on her lips.

“Hey, Holly.” Her father stood before her. His reddish brown hair had more streaks of gray than she remembered, but he smiled a hesitant smile - one that transported her back to when she was sixteen, a single suitcase in her hand, and a world of both hurt and hope in her heart.

“Hi...Dad.” She choked on his title, but saying it didn’t hurt like she’d imagined.

“Jen, said...she told me where I could find you.” He cracked his knuckles one at a time. She’d heard it the night he welcomed her into their home, when he tried to talk to her after she ran away a month later, when she was caught kissing Ted from down the street, and when she’d packed that same singular suitcase and left two days after her high school graduation.

Holly just stood there, uncertain of what to do, what to say. She’d been plunged into a dark and uncertain world when her parents died. She’d been a carefree sixteen year old, full of dreams, full of hope, a good girl with a bright future.

“I’ve been trying to find you ever since you left...”

“I didn’t want to be found.” Her words were meant to be cold, but she couldn’t help it. There was a soft whisper of defeat in her - that was all that was left. “I still don’t.”

“Holly, I know I let you down. Marcy was so angry and bitter after finding out about the affair that she took it out on you. I was so apologetic about the affair that I just turned a blind eye, afraid that she would see my defense of you as still being in love with your mom.” He stepped forward and gathered her hands in his. “We were all a mess back then and we needed to get help to work through it. Instead, we all tried to figure it out on our own, we didn’t seek God’s guidance...and look where we ended up.”

Looking down at her hand, he noticed her wedding ring. “You are married.” His face showed both joy and sadness. “I missed it.”

“I’m not married anymore.”

“Oh.” He stared down at her. She knew what he was looking for, but she just didn’t have anything else to give.

“Marcy wanted to come today.”

She finally looked up at him, letting out a mirthless laugh. “Why?”

“She is really sorry for how she treated you. She wanted to come and apologize.”

Holly looked around him, and he shook his head. “I told her to let me come first. I wanted to apologize and make sure you were...” He shrugged.

“Not going to smash a cake in her face.” Though her sardonic words weren’t meant to cause laughter, he chuckled as he remembered her last action on the day of her graduation. Marcy had baked her a cake for her graduation, and she had taken the thing and smashed it in her face.

His reaction spawned a sideways grin from Holly. “I guess I have to apologize, too.” Her smile, her first genuine one in the past few months, faded as quickly as it had sprouted. “I’m going to need some time...”

“I understand.” He grabbed one of their interest cards from the front counter and jotted down his phone number and address. “Call me, or just stop by.”

She stared down at it for a few seconds before taking it. “Jen is out in the car. She said she was supposed to come today and look over your bridesmaid’s dresses. Do you want me to tell her to come back another day?”

Holly slowly shook her head. “No, I think...I can help her.”

She watched her dad walk out the door, and she wanted to follow him outside and tell him to go away. She wanted to scream, “Where were you when I was sixteen and alone? I needed you. I needed love, and protection. I needed to be accepted.” But as the bell chimed, announcing his exit, she could only think, “Come back.” She felt just as alone as she had on the day she had witnessed her parents’ death – even more so.

Jen came in moments later, followed by Anya, her arm hooked through her dad’s, who was reluctantly being pulled along. “We have a place for you to sit back here while she tries on dresses.” Anya was saying.

Her dad looked at her, and she gave him a hesitant smile. She felt as if she had been thrust out into the tossing sea, and she sat in a small boat, clinging to the oars as an ever-present voice whispered “row.” She was too fearful to obey, but too weak to jump out and try to swim for shore. So she sat, clinging, hoping...praying.

God, is this more penance, or is this redemption?

H
unter looked at Grace suspiciously. “Watch you try on dresses? Don’t you have girlfriends to do that with?”

"Mom's dead and I need a family member by my side."

The mention of his mother sent a picture of Holly running across his mind.

"Jaded, sarcastic, bitter, unforgiving, scowling...”

At her inquisitive look, he clarified. “Isn’t that what you called me a couple weeks ago when you asked me to walk you down the aisle? You said you didn’t want a jaded...”

“Okay, I said it!” Grace interrupted, then she shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the carpet she was stubbing with her toe. “Besides, I still want you by my side.”

Hunter doubted the veracity of her statement, but he couldn’t resist her smile when she begged, “Please, Hunter, for me.”

Though she resembled their mom, Hunter knew she was nothing like her. She was sweet, honest, and kind.

“Okay, munchkin. I’ll go.” She slammed into him as wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug, causing his breath to briefly escape his lips in a rush. He kissed the top of her head as he’d done so many times since their father’s death.

“Thank you, Hunter. I think this is going to be the best thing!”

“I love you and I will do everything I can to support you.”

“I’m glad you said that.” Grace ran her hand along the edge of the desk, refusing to look him in the eye. “The dress that I want is in Holly’s shop. I want to have her and Anya do one of their events - here.”

“What! You really think I’m going to invite...” Hunter couldn’t even say her name. “...that woman into my home and pretend that everything is okay?”

“Haven’t you moved past this yet? Hasn’t she suffered enough? She lost you and she lost the baby...”

“She’s suffered?” Hunter exclaimed, pausing to take a moment to control his mounting anger. “I am sad we lost our baby, but I can’t help but wonder if God is punishing her....”

“Hunter, I know you don’t really believe that. You know God’s love and mercy are extended to everyone with a repentant heart.”